Irreplaceable (Harmony)

  “We should get some sleep,” he said out of the blue, placing a tender kiss to the tip of my nose. He lifted me up, sat me back on the bed, and stood up, walking across the room and flicking a switch by the door.

  My hand went up over my squinting eyes, struggling to adjust to the cruel light glowing from the lamp on the nightstand directly to my left.

  What the hell was he doing? Where was the action, the passion? The I’ve-got-to-have-you-now in the heat of the moment?

  Instead, his hands were digging in his pockets as he stood in front of a tall dresser. He pulled out his cell phone, keys, and wallet, setting them on top of it.

  This was definitely not how I thought things were going to be. Not that I’d planned this or even had a shred of conscience while he carried me to some hole in the wall, but now, sitting there watching him take his time across the room, the moment was officially gone.

  Or was it? Logan pulled off his shirt and unzipped his trousers, sliding them down and off his body. Body-hugging black boxer briefs clung to his solid legs. I swallowed, staring at the package they contained until I felt a prickle flare over my skin.

  Slowly, I glanced up to find him watching me, staring at him until his mouth turned up in a crooked grin. My head turned to the side with an eye roll. This wasn’t how I expected things to go.

  Actually, I hadn’t expected anything. I hadn’t been thinking—only acting—but now I couldn’t stop chastising myself for being so damn weak. I wanted it to be quick and to the point—have him like the girls in the bar had. Not like this. Not with him staring at me, searching me for a sign I couldn’t give.

  “I don’t mind you watching, sweetheart.”

  Why am I still here?

  Logan was gorgeous and in an unbelievable I’ll-probably-never-see-a-man-like-him-again way, but still, my thoughts were no longer lost in the fog of passion. My brain was full steam ahead, telling me to ignore the tingling arousal pooling in my stomach and run—run fast, and run far.

  “I’ve got to go.” I pushed off the bed, failing to collect my thoughts and ease my screaming libido that was begging me to stay.

  Logan was behind me the moment I reached the door, my clammy hand gripping the knob.

  His fingertips caressed the sensitive skin on the back of my neck and trailed down my spine as he slipped my coat down my arms and spoke in a rough whisper. “I didn’t bring you up here for sex, Cassandra. You want me to show you? Then I will.”

  Slowly, he turned me around. His arms stretched out and rested on the door behind me, blocking me in. “I want you to see me, know me, and forget the past.”

  I let my head fall forward against the door and closed my eyes. “You should go home, Logan. It’s your birthday. You should be with your family. I should be anywhere but here.”

  I wasn’t even sure what I was saying. I just opened my mouth, and the words fell out in my desperate attempt to get away before his tenderness penetrated the piece of my heart he’d cracked open and had only just begun repairing.

  “You can’t drive, and neither can I.”

  “What?” My eyes flew open, and I whipped around to meet his soft gaze. “Yes, I can,” I defended, nearly breathless at his bare rippled chest pressed against me.

  “Besides the fact that you had shots downstairs, you’re flustered. I won’t let you drive yourself home tonight, and I’ve had more than the legal limit. So you might as well stay with me.”

  Stay with him? Not now. Not after he gave me time to think and said all the right things, splitting a crack down the side of the stone fortress surrounding my battered heart. No, I needed to get out of there.

  With a deep breath in and back out, my eyes closed for a moment while I collected myself. Then I was back—strong. Chin up, shoulders straight.

  “Believe me when I tell you, Logan, that your birthday will be a lot more fun if I leave.” I ducked under his arm, putting distance between us.

  He remained unaffected, turning with an easy smile, as if I’d said nothing but sweet sentiments. “My birthday is nearly over, and I never got my wish.”

  He looked so beautiful staring at me with such tenderness. Why had I kissed him? Why did the thought of him walking away, disappearing from my life, send such a panic tearing through me, propelling me straight into his arms?

  “Well, nobody said it had to come true the same day.” My voice shook at the thoughtful look crossing his face. What was wrong with me? Why did he have to look so vulnerable?

  He stepped closer, eyes pleading. “Don’t leave. Please.”

  My eyes fluttered shut, a ragged breath slipping out as his words danced over me. This was so hard. So unbearable.

  “Logan, I—”

  His hand flipped the light switch back off, casting us once again in darkness lit only by the bright moon shining off the snow outside and filtering in.

  “My wish was to hold you for one night. No sex, I swear, just you sleeping safely in my arms. Please, let me show you what you need to see…how good it can be.”

  The man needed to stop with the pleases. They washed over me, taking my breath and leaving me with nothing more than an open heart and nodding head.

  I followed his lead when he took my hand, guiding me back to the bed. Peeling back the covers with the sweetest smile, he asked me with the gentlest voice, “Would you like to undress?”

  Snapped out of my trance did not even come close to how I felt. It was as though someone woke me from my dreams of heaven with a douse of ice water.

  “What?” I snapped, outraged. Undress? I thought he said no sex.

  His head tilted to the side. “You need to work on that trust in me. I simply meant your jeans might not be the most comfortable.”

  I glanced over to his trousers across the room on a chair and blanched. Could I really sleep beside a half-naked Logan while I was half naked myself?

  No. No I couldn’t.

  “Jeans are staying on,” I answered.

  What was I saying? How did this happen? How did he talk me into spending the night with him? I’d kissed him, wanted him. It was hot and could’ve led to sex, but he ruined that when he switched on the damn light—and my moral self-worth.

  “Logan, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this,” I whispered, trying to keep the calmness in the room.

  “Take off your jeans and lie down. Your shirt is long enough to cover you.”

  I stepped back from the bed. I needed to run before it was too late.

  Logan was there in an instant. “Trust me, just once. We were friends once, Cassandra. Please just give it back until morning.”

  Moving to the farthest corner of the room, I turned around and unbuttoned my pants. My oversized shirt hid my ass as I slid free from my jeans, a confident smile growing on my face. I wasn’t going to be the only one uncomfortable in that bed.

  When I turned back around, I was faced with an observing Logan. He didn’t even try to hide the fact that he’d been caught.

  I rolled my eyes, sauntered quickly across the room, and climbed into the bed, pulling the blanket to my chin.

  “I’m only staying because I did have a drink tonight, but this doesn’t mean we’re friends again.”

  Logan let out a real laugh that lightened my worry. “Of course, but just so I can keep up, what are we, sweetheart?”

  I thought it over for a moment as he slid into bed beside me, his legs brushing over mine.

  Should’ve kept the jeans on.

  “Neighbors,” I answered finally. Tonight wasn’t going to change that. I couldn’t let it.

  “That’s all?”

  I looked over at him, his head flat on the soft down pillow. “For the record, you’ve come a long way from the bastard I wanted to stab in the eye when he carried me to the bathroom that day in the hospital.”

  “I can imagine.” He chuckled louder.

  The charge in the air between us dispersed the longer we lay there, me staring at the ceiling, him staring at me.

  The ima
ge of Logan stripped down to his briefs filled my thoughts. His chest was a hard wall of rippling muscles. His arms were tantalizingly strong, and built to do more than work behind a desk. Lying beside him, it was hard not to appreciate the care he put into his body.

  I needed a distraction.

  Glancing around the room, I got more than that. We were above Haven—I was positive of that, since he’d carried me up stairs and the music from the bar filtered in through the vents with the heat. I remembered hearing there used to be a couple apartments up here, but this was just a room with a door that looked like it led to a bathroom. What the hell was this place?

  “So you rent these rooms? Not, like…by the hour?” I asked with a cocked brow.

  “It’s not my business how long they rent as long as they pay up. It was Caleb’s idea to turn the crumbling apartments into a few rooms when he renovated. Figured it could bring in some extra revenue from customers who had too much to drink below, or simply leasing them out like any other hotel, since the only other place to stay in town is so rundown it should be condemned.”

  He was talking with ease until he caught the expression on my conflicted face.

  “To clarify, this room has never been occupied by anyone other than me. I use it as a place to stay on long nights I don’t want to go home to an empty house when Oliver is visiting in the city. ”

  I stiffened, looking away. Is this his…sex den?

  Lifting my head, I looked to the window and noticed the balcony that stared right back at me. Julia’s words from the day she opened up about Logan’s past ran through my head. She’d said he was caught on a balcony with a woman.

  How had I not noticed it before then? I could stay there any longer.

  “Oh God.” I cringed as I sat up, wide-eyed at the realization.

  Logan’s arm came down over my waist, locking me down, then his body rolled, leaning over me. His eyes searched mine as he hovered above me, both arms stretched out on either side of me, caging me in.

  “No,” he stated firmly.

  No? He must’ve seen my confusion, because he continued.

  “Calm those gears in that hectic head of yours, sweetheart. I’ve never brought anyone in here before. I, myself, have only slept here twice.”

  I sucked in a deep breath as my eyes wandered down to his bare chest. The man definitely knew how to take care of his body, and it was suddenly getting a little warm in the room.

  “The balcony…your sister once said…” I let my words hang, swallowing to find my voice.

  “That wasn’t here, or even in this building, I swear. I’ve only used this place to rest.”

  Relief was heavy in my body, and a soft smile turned up the corner of his lips.

  “A little faith in me from time to time would be appreciated. Is that a possibility?”

  I shrugged my shoulders into the pillow under my head, and in doing so my elbows moved out, knocking into his arms. His muscles bulged as he lowered himself down as if doing a push up, his breath mixing with mine.

  “Are you going to make me beg?”

  Oh God, he was too close. My legs tightened together in need, and I was thankful they were already squeezed between his strong limbs.

  “I’m waiting,” he prompted, his nose nearly touching mine. “You asked me to show you. You should know better than to take back a request so...enticing.”

  “Logan…” I wasn’t even sure I said it aloud until he replied with his lips on my cheek, gliding over my scorching skin and down over my chin, following the curve of my neck.

  “I can’t…think.” I swallowed, desperate for space. “Get up. Off!”

  “No.”

  His nose stroked my neck, followed by his wet lips over my clavicle.

  “Log—”

  His tongue dipped into the hollow of my clavicle. “You feel this. I know you do.”

  There was no denying and no stopping it when he pulled back to grip the hem of my shirt and yanked it up, over my head. My weight was unable to stop him, unable to hold it on, with my body following his lead.

  “What about this?” His tongue ran down between my breasts, a white lace bra covering them. “Do you feel that?”

  Logan spoke so deeply to my body that I clutched a handful of the comforter pooled at my waist. His tongue swirled below my right breast just under the lace, then to the left. I waited for him to rip the bra to shreds or move it to display my breasts, but they remained covered.

  “Yes, I feel it,” I murmured, my voice strained and broken as I kicked the blanket away and raised my legs to circle his waist, desperate to bridge the connection I craved like nothing else. “Please, I need you,” I begged, grinding against him, begging for him to finally take me.

  “You need me?” He repeated my plea.

  “Yes.”

  “You want me?” His lips were tickling my stomach relentlessly, further fanning the fire building at my core.

  “Logan…” I moaned when his mouth covered my breast over the lace and, after a hard suck, released it with a devious smirk.

  “You want me to show you—show you how good it can be?” His voice was thick and rough, and it thundered right through me.

  “Yes. Show me,” I begged with a longing I couldn’t control.

  His eyes darkened and his body slid down, rubbing over mine in the process. His palm rested on my abdomen, holding me still as his mouth moved down and landed over my hip.

  I moaned a deep, needy hum. His tongue swirled across my abs again and again, circling my bellybutton and causing my hips to lift off the bed. He held me down and rolled to the side, lying half over me, half on the mattress.

  He had me panting with desire, and there was no coming back from it.

  With bated breath, I was locked on watching his every move. His lips kissed farther down to the hem of my panties and then back up, teasing me.

  “Show you like this?” He words were nothing but a clipped rumble as he hooked a finger under my panties and tugged the thin lace fabric between his fingers.

  My heart thundered, stomach turning, until he spoke again.

  “Yes,” I moaned, squirming with desire.

  His tongue dipped into my bellybutton, one hand kneading my breast. The other slid fully into my panties, stroking my needy sex. My head fell back onto the pillow, my body nothing but shudders and pleas.

  “Oh, God, Logan!”

  My toes curled. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt before—completely unexpected—as he massaged my breasts, then leaned up and placed his lips over mine, kissing my lips with a confident ease, aware of what he was doing to me, while his other hand caressed between my legs.

  “I know you feel this. You feel me giving you this pleasure—no one else but me. You want more?” he asked, his lips sliding to my cheek, where he placed the sweetest peck.

  His thumb ravaged my pleasure point and my hands wrapped around him, nails digging into his back. It had been so long. The massive spring inside me tightened to a point that was nearly painful. I couldn’t handle it. My clammy hands tore up his back and buried themselves in his hair.

  “Yes! Logan, please!”

  I was lost to something primal and foreign—something I thought I’d experienced so many times before, but it was never like this.

  “Let it go. I’m here…trust me. I’ll always be the one to give you what you need.”

  My body began pulsating, stomach tight and hard, until my breath caught and my body exploded over his hand. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and the screams that rang out of me weren’t my own.

  They couldn’t be. It wasn’t like me to feel…that.

  Bucking my hips forward one last time, I lay there breathless, covered in a sheen of sweet, gasping for air to replenish my winded lungs.

  The grin on my face brought a sweet, boyish laugh from the man who quite literally blew my mind. He rolled over to his side and propped himself up on one elbow, watching me.

  “You’re so beautiful, s
leepy, and satisfied,” he said, raking his hand up from my sex and running his thumb over his bottom lip before depositing it into his mouth.

  I flushed, struggling for breath. “Not completely satisfied.”

  “You need more?” he asked, head tilted to the side, observing me carefully. “So do I. I need your trust, your heart, and your soul. I want you to be mine completely.”

  “Then take me.”

  He rolled back over me, putting us in the same position we were earlier, his nose brushing back and forth over mine. “Tell me you believe I’ll never want another—nobody ever but you.”

  I swallowed, unsure how to answer in my aroused state.

  “I want you. Nothing else matters. Not now. Take me. Take what you want.”

  His head fell forward, my nostrils hit with the intoxicating scent of a beachy day. Whatever shampoo he used, I would never forget that smell. It was so unique and clean.

  When he looked back up with an unexpected grin, I couldn’t help but smile in return, unsure what had brought it on.

  “You sure know how to work a determined man, sweetheart.” His thoughtful features softened, his grin melting into a soft, easy smile. “Don’t ever lose that strength. I adore you for it.”

  Slowly, his lips lowered over mine, and after one lingering peck, he rolled back to his side.

  “And you once called me a tease,” I said with a head shake and soft breath of laughter, staring at the darkness above us.

  “You were never a tease—merely a goddess I was unworthy of.”

  He really needed to stop with the sweet talk.

  Silence hung over us while I found my breath and closed my eyes, my arousal fading as quickly as it had materialized. My thoughts erupted with the uncontrollable desire to lick my lips, taste him, and savor it. Yet with his eyes on me, my mind sunk into the depths of a reality I could no longer deny. What had happened? Was it real? Did I imagine him giving me so much pleasure?

  My mind raced with images of rolling over onto him and forcing him to give me what I want—to finish it. Force him to take what I knew he wanted. But I didn’t. I knew that look on his face. The ball was in his court, and for the night we’d keep it there. He looked relaxed—happy—and I didn’t want to change that. His happiness lightened my entire body.