Alex Band—“Will Not Back Down”
Birdy—“Skinny Love”
The Fray—“Never Say Never”
Florence & The Machine—“Never Let Me Go”
Sum 41—“With Me”
While you wait, be sure to check out
Embrace, Book 2 in the Evolve Series
by S. E. Hall, releasing Oct 1, 2014!
You can also visit S.E. on Facebook!
Chapter 1
Dear Laney
~Evan~
My phone is burning a hole in my pocket. Ninety percent of me wants to respond to the text Laney had sent about an hour ago, but the other ten percent, the shred that still has some dignity, is winning. As much as I want an exact explanation, I simply can’t bear to hear it right now.
Sawyer’s a godsend, shoving beers in my hand and attracting every lady in the bar over to our table. He’s doing a better job than anyone else could at distracting me, including the brunette currently perched on my right leg… Manda? Mandy? She’s hot with long dark hair, full lips and huge tits that she’s not afraid to let play peek-a-boo. She even smells decent and her hands know no boundaries, but all I can think about is the one who got away; a beautiful blonde with a quick wit, smart mouth and devastating smile.
“Dude, you need another one?” Sawyer’s question drags me from my mental misery, and I’m almost sure he’s asking about another beer, not another girl.
“Sure,” I respond with no feeling whatsoever. It’s sadly the correct answer no matter what he was asking.
“Want me to get it, sugar?” Man—whatever asks with a syrup to her voice that I just noticed and don’t particularly like.
“Two, Amy,” Sawyer directs her and hands her some money.
Amy? Shit, I wasn’t even close. Good thing I hadn’t spoken to her even once.
“She’s hot, bro.” Sawyer raises his brows and motions to Amy with his head, to which I shrug noncommittally. “What is it, you need a blonde? I figured that’d be too much, but I can—”
My hand shoots up, cutting him off. “I appreciate it, man, I do,” I stop and take a swig of beer, “but a parade of girls isn’t gonna help me tonight. I just need to crash; wake up to a new day. You think you can take me to my truck?”
“Nah, but you can bunk with me.” He throws some bills on the table and stands. “Let’s go.”
We leave the bar, not collecting our beers he’d already shelled out money for and not saying goodbye to Amy. I appreciate the hasty retreat.
“Why are you going out of your way for me?” I ask him as we drive back to his dorm—her dorm.
“Real talk?”
“Please.”
“I’m not just helping you. I mean, I feel for you; damn do I feel for ya.” He chuckles and reaches over to punch me in the arm, offering a grin covertly lined with sympathy. “But it’s more than that. Laney’s my girl, and I know she’s probably worried as shit about you right now, so I’m partly looking out for ya cause she’d want me to. She’d feel better knowing you’re not off crying in your beer alone.” He laughs again. “But mostly, Dane’s my boy. Not only is he my employer, but he’s one of my best friends, and he loves Laney. So I’d be lying if I pretended this wasn’t a little about distracting his competition.” He parks his car and turns to me, waiting for my reaction to his honesty.
“She texted me.” I have no idea why this is what I’d chosen to respond.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands, fighting off the beginnings of a headache. “I didn’t answer her. I have no idea what to say.”
“Don’t ask me,” he says as he gets out of the car. “I’m terrible with women. Well… I’m terrible at talking to women about important shit.” He opens the door to the dorm, letting me walk in first. “Never saw the need.”
I crash on Sawyer’s couch, resting another beer nightcap on my bare chest, thoughts of how differently I saw things panning out swirling in my head. She’d warned me, I knew this Dane kid was creeping in; I’d gotten here as soon as I could. Just not soon enough.
How naïve I’d been, thinking Laney and I were forever, that distance wouldn’t affect our closeness. The thought of Laney coming out of the box she keeps herself in long enough to meet someone, to actually fall for them, shutting me out—I’d have bet you all the money in the world it would never happen. Well, there goes that safety net. You know what they say—take care of your woman or another man will.
I don’t even know how to proceed with this—I certainly don’t know how (or if) to respond to her messages. I’m definitely not qualified to write the manual on Plan B, since Plan A, plunge head over ass into a year of ineligibility for the girl who is now with another guy, blew up in my face. Delirious with grief, jealousy, and a million other things, I rudely dig around Sawyer’s living area until I find a pen and paper. Who writes letters anymore? This guy, apparently. It just feels more personal than a text, and if Laney and I are even one single thing anymore—it’s personal. No matter what Dane has with her now, he can’t undo ten years of us.
I can imagine what she demands of him, what she expects. I helped set those precedents. I proved to her there are guys that will listen and treat her like a queen. Since she’s been a little girl, I showed her how a man should treat a woman as special as her. So he’s getting a real lady…
You’re Welcome, Asshole.
I want to know why? What had he done, so well, so quickly, that I’d been forgotten; replaced? Is there anything I can do to get her back? Do I want her back?
It’s around 4 am when I finally finish my letter to her, calmer now that I’ve gotten some of it out on paper, the racing questions in my mind slowed down enough that I can finally fall asleep.
No sooner than I finally fall asleep, I’m awake, sun streaming obnoxiously through the curtains and straight into my eye. The microwave clock says it’s 9:12. Ugh. I wanted to sleep so much longer than five hours.
The least I can do is run out and grab breakfast. Sawyer’s been pretty cool, and since I’m starving and he’s got twenty pounds on me, he’s got to wake up ravenous. I get up and dressed, checking my phone out of habit. There’s six texts waiting, all from Laney, the last one from around midnight. I didn’t answer her then and I don’t answer now, heading out with my letter and appetite.
I hit the nearest drive thru and curse myself for not grabbing Sawyer’s keys. I wait about fifteen minutes in front of the dorm, holding bags of breakfast in my hands, before a cute co-ed lets me back in the door. I thank her and walk slowly down the hall, giving her a chance to gain some ground. I don’t want her, or anyone, to see my pathetic next move.
I’m not sure how I remember, but I find Laney’s door easily. Pulling the letter from my back pocket, I bend to slip it under her door, shocked when I hear her sweet laugh from the other side. She’s here? She’s not with him anymore? My heart suddenly lifts, as does my hand, ready to knock, when his voice reaches out and rips my heart out of my chest.
I should walk away. Definitely the right thing to do. Fine, open a spot in hell for me, like it’s so much different than where I’m at right now anyway—I’m not moving. Their voices are muffled and I’m straining to do so, but I hear it.
“So you forgive me?”
“Yes, caveman, I forgive you, but I’m still not ready to forgive myself. I mean it, though, don’t ever do anything like that, ever again.”
“I promise, baby. I love you.”
“Me too.”
Ah fuck. Me too? Whatever does or doesn’t happen now, no matter what words she says to me, it’s those words, those last ones to him, which will ring in my ears.
How could she love him? I’ve had ten years with the little girl, the young lady, and apparently the “I love you as a best friend,” but in the span of only months, he’d taken the woman. This realization sends a wave of nausea and loneliness through me, but I muster the energy to move my feet, not wanting them to open the door and catch me standing
here like the loser I’ve become.
I turn to head to Sawyer’s room, and with every step I take, a new fervor flames inside me. Yes, my face grazed tits, and she’d gotten a picture of it. Sure, her best friend woke up in my room, her only clothing mine…but I never told anyone I loved them! I never gave my heart! I transferred schools for her, gave up a scholarship, fought like hell with my parents about it…damn right she shouldn’t forgive herself. I flex my hands in and out of fists, rolling my neck, fighting the urge to punch a hole in the wall. Nostrils flared, chest heaving rapidly, I take a few deep breaths before finally knocking.
When Sawyer opens the door, I have only one thing to say. “Last night was a bust. Think we can do better tonight?”
He smiles and fist bumps me, which I take as a yes.
Fuck this. Disney movies suck anyway—bring on a porno!
Angela Graham, Irreplaceable (Harmony)
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