Ember

  “My dad had been thrown from the car and was lying in the middle of the road. Mia was nowhere to be seen and I began to panic. My arms tensed and filled with burning orange flames as I focused my eyes all around the devastation. There was smoke and ash and burning gas but no little sister. I called for her but all I heard in response was the echo of my own voice. I climbed from the wreckage, my arms still full of flames, and called for her again. From the corner of my bloody eye I saw something flickering in the breeze, just on the other side of the bent barrier. It was red and sparkling like it was covered in tiny diamonds. It was Mia’s ribbon from her hair and it was covered in glass.” I stopped talking as Sam started to cry softly. Slowly I took a long deep breath and continued.

  “She was covered in it and her body clung to the side of the cliff, not moving. I could hear her voice whimpering quietly and the sound filled me with hope. She was still alive! I wasn’t too late! I stumbled forward, dizzy and crying with my arms still burning. I began to hop over the barrier railing when I realized just how bad things had become. The car couldn’t have stopped at a worst spot. There was only a few feet of dirt past the metal railing and then it turned into a dead drop. Just a little over 300 feet…I think.” Clearing my throat, I found it hard to continue; it hurt so much to be saying these words.

  “Mia’s body was hanging half way over the edge, so I tried once more to calm the rushing fire on my arms. I wouldn’t be able to pull her to safety while I burned out of control. It was working until I heard the sound of clothes slowing ripping. In my dazed state I wasn’t sure what the sound was until it was too late. It was the fabric of her white summer dress that was holding her entire weight from sliding over the edge. Her silhouette disappeared into the blackness and I lunged forward with everything I had left. My blazing arms singed the air hotter and hotter as I lost control. My right hand caught the back of her dress, filling it with flames instantly and waking her from her slumber.” My eyes filled with tears and I was starting to feel sick to my stomach.

  “As I pulled her up, her big brown eyes turned to me in pain and she called out to me, ‘Max it hurts!’ That’s when her dress gave out and she started to fall again. I was in shock and instinctively I grabbed her hands. They were already bloody and broken when the flames began searing her flesh. She screamed louder and I screamed along with her, trying not to pass out. My head was spinning and the smell of everything made me sick to my stomach. Her tiny voice begged me to help her over and over again as I started to black out. I couldn’t control any part of my gift now and the flames intensified with my anguish. Time slowed down and her hands couldn’t take anymore. They crumbled away from me as she fell. The darkness over took me and I passed out with the image of my little sister falling away from me…on fire. She was calling my name.” I couldn’t look at Sam now. I felt disgusted with myself. She wiped her eyes and sat down on the floor next to me. I hadn’t even noticed that I was on the floor of her bedroom.

  “I woke up two days later in the hospital, remembering everything that happened vividly. My mom had already packed her things and left us without a word. My dad was pretty banged up…physically and emotionally. He didn’t talk too much in those first few days. He was different now, like a ghost. He had lost the woman he loved most in this world and his beautiful baby girl. He healed quickly, all except his heart. There is no doctor in the world that can heal that. I healed even faster but things were never the same again between us.” I tried to smile but I couldn’t.

  “My father didn’t physically leave me until last year when he had a heart attack, but I think I was just as dead to him the moment I let her fall. The thing he didn’t seem to understand though was that he had lost a wife and a daughter, but I had lost the same. Now I was losing a father too.” I shrugged slightly with a massive headache pounding in my head. I was completely drained and wanted to leave.

  “Max…I had no idea,” her voice was weak and shaking. She looked as if her heart was broken too and in that moment all I wanted to do was hold her.

  “It’s okay, things are better now,” I lied and let a fake smile appear.

  “Don’t lie to me…things are not okay,” she scolded as she wiped more tears from her cheeks. She slid herself in front of me and ran her hands along my cheeks.

  “But they will be,” she spoke soft and soothing. Her lips pressed gently against my closed eyelids and my head felt better immediately. I kissed her back and could taste the fresh tears on her lips and my insides warmed just enough to make the headache go away completely.

  “Sam…I think I need to go,” I said as I stood up.

  “I think you need to stay Max,” she said determined.

  “I think it would be best if I left.” My heart was pounding now.

  “It’s barely 7:30…you don’t have to go.” Her eyes filled with worry.

  “Yes, I do,” I said looking at the tattoo of Mia’s name. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Promise.”

  “Let me at least give you a ride home.” She was upset now and that made me feel guilty for sharing so much with her. It was not her burden…it was mine.

  “I’ll be fine. It’s only a few miles to my house.” I leaned in and kissed her lips gently.

  “I’ll call,” I said again and left her with tears running down her face.

  I needed this walk. I needed this time to clear my head again. It amazed me just how much my sister’s loss still hurt. I saw Mia’s face every step of the way home. I felt horrible. I felt guilty.

  I felt alone.

  Kryptonite_17

  ~I Don’t Trust Myself (With Loving You): John Mayer~

  Friday night – 10:02 p.m.

  I had been walking in the dark for a couple hours now when I finally made it to the end of the driveway to my house. It had been a long emotional night at Sam’s and I was so relieved to see the glimmer of my porch light. There was no sign of my uncle who had planned a night out with some of the guys from work. He must have been having a good time because he was usually in bed by this time. I was glad that he wasn’t home though; I was in no mood to talk to anyone right now.

  The night air was becoming quite chilly as I walked to the front door. In the distance I could hear the faint sounds of a thunderstorm. That’s when I first saw the gift that had been left on the door step. A brand new electric guitar, with all the trimmings, was leaned up against the door. Its paint finish was so shiny that the moon reflected brightly off of it and that made it hard to tell exactly what color it was. I leaned in for a closer look and it was love at first sight.

  “Whoa.”

  It was jet black with a rosewood fret board and sapphire blue inlays. It had the shape of a long lean dancer and reminded me of Asia. This outrageous gift had all the signs that it was from her. The color and the shape of the instrument was enough of a clue but this particular brand of guitar was extremely expensive. I would be surprised if it could be bought anywhere on the island. That meant that it had to be imported.

  The second clue was the giant blood red colored bow that was tied neatly to the neck of the guitar. I slowly ran my fingers along it and found that it was made of silk.

  “Nice touch Asia,” I teased.

  A small tag dangled from one of the tuning keys. It gently wiggled in the cool breeze and I didn’t even have to pull it up to read it. In big bold red letters it read…

  “I’M SORRY… XOXO.”

  I stood there quietly for a few minutes, trying to make sense of the gift. Was this supposed to make things better?

  “Did she really think I was this shallow?” I grunted to myself. All she had to do was throw some money at me and I would cave in? The nerve of her.

  My anger overtook my hands and I almost knocked the guitar over as I shoved my way inside the front door. I even started to slam the door behind me when the musician in me gave in. I quickly turned around and scooped up the work of art in my greedy hands. It was much lighter than I was expecting and it felt wonderful in my grasp. I couldn’
t help myself. The sheer beauty and craftsmanship of it called to me. A haunting thought stopped me in my tracks. I felt the same way about Asia…and she knew it. This was her way of showing me that.

  I wanted to hate her for that but I couldn’t…not even a little bit. How can I possibly hate someone that felt like a part of me? Someone who seemed to call to every aspect of my body physically and emotionally.

  Like a shadow in the dark I stood quietly holding my new prize when I realized that Oz hadn’t greeted me yet. He always came running when he knew I was home. At that moment my senses were hit with cherry blossoms and I almost fell over. Thunder rumbled outside as if teasing me and my blood filled with heat. I ran to my room and was stopped dead in my tracks by the sight before my tired eyes.

  Asia was sitting in the middle of my bed, her long tone legs folded together in her lap. Her body was straight as an arrow and Oz was stretched across her legs with his paws folded in the air above him. I could barely hear him growling because it sounded more like he was purring. Traitor, I thought as I saw how happy and content he was.

  She was slowly caressing his stomach with one hand and holding her other hand up to her ear. Her eyes were closed as she sat rocking back and forth, like she was dancing. Her hand concealed the ear buds to a shiny new mp3 player that settled in front of her on the bed. The chords swayed softly as she rocked from side to side. She was wearing a black sports bra that seemed to accentuate her natural curves and exposed her belly. A tiny diamond piercing winked at me from her belly button and I almost choked on my tongue. She was also wearing tiny black shorts. The kind a runner in a marathon might wear and they exposed most of her legs. Her feet were bare and tapping along to whatever music she was lost in at the moment. Another dozen diamonds stole my attention as they danced along the chain around her left ankle. I stood there silently gripping my new guitar and found it harder and harder to breathe.

  “Well, do you like it?” she asked without opening her eyes. I was afraid to say anything for fear of what angry tirade might escape my lips. Also, I didn’t exactly want the view to go away yet. I tightened my lips and said nothing, only watching her shape in the dark.

  “Well?” Her eyes opened and her tone became impatient. That woke the beast in me and I slid the guitar onto the bed, next to her leg. Oz rolled over with a smile and a tail wag and I gave him a disapproving look. His head fell down and his ears tucked behind him.

  “I can’t accept this Asia.” I was mad. She quickly stood up, pulling the ear buds from her ears. Her movements were so swift and graceful I found my anger getting lost in her web. She stepped up to me and stopped only inches from my face.

  “Why not?” her voice filled with hurt. She smelled amazing and I wanted to taste her lips with every fiber that made me human. It was painfully obvious that I couldn’t trust my judgment when it came to her. I felt powerless to the force that seemed to pull me so easily to her like a magnet. It took every bit of concentration to focus myself and let the anger grow again.

  “You think you can buy my forgiveness?” I said under my breath.

  “Not at all…that’s not what this is.”

  “Than what is this Asia?” I had a hold of my anger again. Her eyelids squinted together and it seemed to upset her that I was being so stubborn.

  “A sorry,” she smiled.

  “That is not a sorry…that is a bribe.” I felt my hands heat up with my anger but I couldn’t be completely sure that my desire to reach out and hold her wasn’t the cause of it.

  “You say sorry, you don’t spend thousands of dollars!” I snapped. The thunder grew outside my window to warn me but I didn’t even give it a second glance.

  “Why are you acting so ungrateful?” she snapped back and her smell hit me again.

  “Because I don’t want your money and fancy things! I want the truth! I want you truly sorry.” It felt good to stand up to her.

  “That’s just a gift. For you because I saw it and thought of you,” she said with confidence. Her hands slowly slid around my neck.

  “And this is for my stupidity.” She kissed me slow and deep and an inferno exploded behind my eyes. Her lips destroyed me and she knew it as soon as she pulled away from my mouth.

  “I am sorry Max,” she whispered with her hands still on my chest.

  “Really?” I asked blankly. I was still reeling from her touch.

  “I want to earn your forgiveness,” she said as tears welled up in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

  I was speechless. This night had gone on way too long and I was feeling emotionally weak. Maybe that’s why I was going to forgive her so easily. Or maybe it was much more serious than that. Maybe there was no defense against her with me. Maybe she was my kryptonite.

  “Can we start over?” she asked as her blue eyes swirled in front of me. “I promise to give you everything I have. Everything you need.” She sounded heartfelt but something kept me from completely believing her words. I pulled away from her and turned my back to her.

  “Yes,” I said quietly giving in to her. It felt good to forgive her but I was being overcome with confusion now. How can two girls have such a pull on my soul? I was beginning to drown in my guilt but I was too tired to care anymore.

  Asia’s arms came around my chest from behind me like a warm blanket and the thunder called my name again. I could hear the first drops of rain tap the roof now. She pressed her body into my back and snuggled her lips behind my right ear.

  “I’ve missed you,” she whispered. My heart pounded like a drum.

  “Me too.”

  She spun me around and settled her body against mine and pulled my hands to her face. The warmth filled her skin with goose bumps and her cool skin soothed my fears.

  “So…do you like her or not?” She nodded toward the guitar.

  “I love it. She’s beautiful.” I paused and ran my finger along her arm, teasing the goose bumps as I went.

  “She’s you,” I whispered. We embraced each other again and the rain washed along my window. Our embrace felt like it lasted for an eternity and when we were done I felt winded. She grabbed the guitar from the bed and turned to me.

  “Will you play for me?” Her eyes seemed to taunt me a little.

  “I would but I don’t have an amp to play through at the moment.” I was just making excuses. I didn’t want to stop holding her yet. Asia shook her head and pointed to the shaded corner of my room.

  “No more excuses,” she giggled devilishly.

  In the corner of my bedroom was a brand new guitar amp with another blood red silk bow stuck to it. The amp was black and square with four speakers housed inside it. I felt extremely silly that I hadn’t seen it before that moment but I did have an excuse. I was distracted by the lips and eyes of my angel.

  “I can’t take…” I started to say and her arm shoved the guitar into my face.

  “Don’t even finish that sentence,” she warned with a smile.

  “All right,” I smiled and took the guitar from her hand. I plugged it in and flipped the power switch to on and it hummed to life. I smiled with delight and the air filled with electricity. My eyes found hers and she nodded in approval as if to say…‘go ahead.’

  I set my guitar on the floor, leaning it against the humming speakers. I flipped the power switch off to the amp, letting the power fade away. My face filled with uneasiness and she slid up to me and propped herself on top of the amp. Her feet dangled a few inches from the ground.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked sweetly.

  “Asia I have to tell you something.” I don’t know why but I felt it necessary to tell her about my earlier date with Sam. I thought for sure she would be furious with me.

  “Anything,” she said as a smile appeared.

  “If we’re going to make any of this work than I need to be honest with you…about everything.” I was scared and my words sounded desperate.

  “Just say it. I’m a big girl. I can handle it,” she teased without the slightest
hint of insecurity.

  “I went out with Samantha tonight.” I waited for the daggers to appear in her eyes. “On a date,” I added. She said nothing. She slipped a hair tie from around her wrist and gathered her hair in her hands and tucked it into a loose ponytail. A hand full of her bangs slid from the tie and fell down her face.

  “It’s fine,” she whispered from behind her bangs. The moonlight was reflecting through the streaking rain on my window and filling her eyes with a silvery glimmer.

  “I don’t understand,” I said.

  “I don’t own you.” An aggressive smile filled her lips. Standing in my darkened room I fidgeted nervously. Why wasn’t she upset with this news? Was this still some kind of game to her? My ego began to crack and that hurt a little. Her bare feet fell to the floor and she walked up to me with that wicked smile.

  “Asia…” she stopped my voice with a single finger to my lips.

  “Relax…you don’t belong to me,” she said brutally honest and then kissed me soft and slow. With her sapphire eyes locked on mine only inches away from each other, she whispered.

  “Yet.”

  Her smile grew even bigger as she walked past me and out my door. My heart was racing and my veins burned with fire. I didn’t want her to leave but like a stone I was frozen again. Thunder shook my room intensely and as if she could read my mind, she popped back into my room and the rain pounded against my window with big fat drops.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked surprised but I really didn’t care, I was just glad she came back. She ran up to me and kissed me quickly.

  “I left you something on your new mp3 player.” She playfully tossed her ponytail. My hands found hers as she began to pull away again.

  “Don’t go,” I begged. Her eyes filled with joy and the storm rattled the house once more.

  “Am I supposed to believe that my date doesn’t bother you at all?” I asked firmly.