Our Impossible Love

  ‘Totally. Also imagined ourselves at poor yet crazily in love. Like five of us in a one-bedroom apartment and still being happy,’ he said.

  We drank to that and poured out all our cheesy daydreams about each other. I thanked God I was dating him and no one else. Who else would think up all this nonsense? That, too, when it’s hardly been any time since we started dating.

  We were still talking about these crazy-ass scenarios when I saw him walk to the terrace, and wave down the waiter.

  ‘He’s here. Megha is with him,’ I said.

  ‘Who?’ asked Danish, and I pointed out to Vibhor who was sitting at the table with a couple of his friends, smiling and drinking. ‘What the . . .? And what’s Megha doing with him? Is she out of her mind?’

  55

  Danish Roy

  ‘Stay, Danish. We aren’t leaving or talking to him,’ said Aisha before I could ask the question.

  ‘What about Megha?’

  ‘She seems to have made her decision,’ said Aisha. ‘Let her be.’

  ‘What the hell are you talking about? So we just pretend we are not here then?’ I said.

  ‘No. We are going to party with him,’ she said, steeling her voice.

  She took her phone out and called Erskin, Ankit and Sarthak. Within a minute they were standing next to us, restraining themselves from beating Vibhor down to a pulp.

  ‘Why would we not hit the bastard?’ protested Sarthak.

  ‘Because I’m asking all of you to not do so.’

  She looked at all of us.

  ‘Think of it as something I need to do before I move on,’ she said.

  ‘I don’t think it’s wise,’ said Sarthak.

  ‘I know some guys,’ said Ankit. ‘It’s dangerous but they can take care of him. Permanently.’

  We all turned to him.

  ‘What! I know them. I have never used them,’ he said.

  ‘Please, I need you to be with me,’ she said.

  ‘Fine,’ we echoed.

  ‘I’m going to his table. You are going to join me in a bit as well. And be nice to him. I need this to go normally.’

  I wasn’t too pleased about it but Erskin spoke, ‘If he tries anything, I will bash his head in.’

  He raised his fist, which was nearly as big as my head so I believed him. Aisha held my hand and we walked to his table. I breathed deeply so as to hold the impulse to crash my mug into Vibhor’s face and make him chew on the shards of glass. He noticed us and stiffened up. He looked a little scared.

  ‘Hi,’ said Aisha with a smile.

  ‘Hi,’ said Megha, a little embarrassed.

  ‘Look, I saw you with Sarthak and his guy there and I don’t want any trouble,’ he said in a half-scared, half-threatening tone.

  ‘We are not here to fight,’ she said and sat on the couch in front of him.

  She looked calm but her fingers were digging into my arm. Her eyes watered. Her voice was even.

  ‘I just want to talk,’ she offered kindly. ‘Without them around.’

  She pointed to his friends and Megha.

  He motioned to his friends and Megha to give them a few minutes.

  ‘And him?’ he asked about me.

  ‘I’m dating him now.’

  ‘Okay, so what do you want to talk about?’

  ‘About what happened, about what you did to me. To know if you feel any remorse.’ said Aisha.

  She was shaking but she didn’t let him notice that.

  ‘Look. If you’re trying to record this shit, it’s not going to work. And I won’t say anything,’ he said.

  I almost caught him smiling. That bastard.

  ‘So, nothing. No guilt whatsoever? What happened in school to me because of you? What you did to my brother?’ asked Aisha, trying hard not to crack.

  ‘What I did! And what did you do, bitch?’

  ‘Language,’ I pointed out.

  ‘Fine. Whatever,’ he said. ‘You screwed me over. Everyone looks at me like I’m a fucking rapist when I am not! You were in my bed and I did it. You didn’t say no! Now don’t just fucking say you wanted to refuse and you couldn’t. Because that’s just bullshit. You had sex with me. Period. You wanted it. You were asking for it. That’s why you were there. You wanted to get fucked.’

  I tried to free my hand and rip his fucking throat out. Aisha dug her hands in and didn’t let me move.

  ‘I wasn’t asking for it, Vibhor.’

  ‘All you girls are the same. First you dress up like you do, then you touch the guy all over, get him all turned on, and when the guy does something, you cry rape! You fucking spoil his reputation. How fair is that? Even if it did happen to you, which I’m not saying it did, it was probably deserved. I’m not a rapist. You know who rapists are and you weren’t raped. You can hardly call that rape. I didn’t hit you or anything.’

  ‘You mean to say I wasn’t raped enough. Like my rape was different in some way? As if it wasn’t humiliating and damaging enough?’

  ‘Of course. How different are you from the stupid-ass girls who get married and cry rape?

  ‘I can’t believe you just said that,’ she said.

  I could feel her breaking down. She took my glass and sipped a little of my drink.

  ‘Whatever, ya. I don’t want to waste time talking about this. You just overreacted. You felt slutty the next day and you flipped. That’s what happened. Now get over it. And leave me alone. You have ruined my school life anyway. Now don’t ruin my date.’

  ‘Yes, I did, didn’t I?’ mocked Aisha.

  ‘Yes, you did. And that’s why I’m taking a transfer. My parents fucking got to know about the entire fiasco and they are putting me in a boy’s school. All because you were getting mood swings. You must have been having your periods,’ he said and smiled.

  I was breaking his jaw in my head.

  ‘You’re seriously changing your school?’

  ‘Yes, and that’s what you fucking did to me,’ he grumbled. He took his mug of beer and got up. ‘I’m fucking leaving now. This conversation is over.’

  He had scrambled out of the table when Aisha called out. ‘Vibhor?’

  ‘What—’

  ‘I’m sorry about that. Maybe I went a little overboard. It was just a little rape. No harm in that.’

  ‘See. That’s what I was trying to tell you,’ he said and put his mug down. He sat back down. ‘No big deal. Rape is what happened to the girl in that bus, not you.’

  Aisha leaned back on her chair. She stared into her glass for a minute or two. Silence engulfed us for a minute or two. She smiled and leaned forward. ‘I think you’re right, Vibhor.’

  ‘Are you serious, Aisha?’ I said, shocked.

  Aisha smiled weakly. ‘Of course, Vibhor’s right. He never deserved what he got. I’m deeply apologetic about it.’

  ‘Are you?’ asked Vibhor, victorious.

  ‘To think of it now in hindsight, it was stupid and impulsive.’

  ‘Aisha? What are you talking about? We really need to talk about this. How can you say all of this? We need to leave,’ I butted in.

  ‘I’m talking to Vibhor,’ she snapped.

  ‘See, I told you what you did was totally unnecessary and dumb.’

  ‘I should have listened. I guess I was just a little angry, Vibhor.’

  ‘Exactly! All is forgiven then?’ asked Vibhor.

  ‘All is forgiven. I’m so sorry and so embarrassed about the hoopla now. I’m sure in the future we will look back at all of this and laugh our heart out . . .’

  ‘It’s okay, Aisha. Happens to the best of girls. They panic after the first time they have sex. Chill.’

  ‘Yeah, I’m sure it does,’ she said. I looked at her, aghast.

  Aisha raised her glass. They clinked it. I had no idea what was going on here.

  ‘No big deal,’ she said.

  I looked at her.

  ‘Just forgive him, Danish,’ she said looking at me. ‘You have to admit we did cross a line wit
h him. The whole beating up thing, the badges, the labelling of him as a rapist. It was all a little excessive. We should have heard his side of the story as well.’

  I shook my head in disbelief.

  ‘Trust me. Try not to be so prejudiced. I think you, too, owe him an apology,’ she said and I sat there, dumbstruck.

  ‘I don’t owe him anything. And neither do you. What are you doing, Aisha? After all that—’

  Vibhor noticed and offered me a drink and asked me to lighten up a little. ‘It’s all done and dusted, Danish sir. Why are you angry now if she’s okay with it? Chill. Have a drink. And you don’t have to embarrass me by apologizing, bro. It’s all good.’

  ‘I will just be back from the washroom. You guys carry on. And Danish, chill, it’s okay, I have got over it now. Let bygones be bygones.’ she said.

  She left me with him. Not a good idea at all. A few shots came to the table and he had two in quick succession. He peered into his phone. We didn’t talk. He drank in silence. His eyes were bloodshot and he was slightly drunk now. I could drag him out, pull him behind a bush and strangle him. What the hell was Aisha saying? Was she fucking drunk?

  ‘C’mon, have this,’ he said and pushed a shot in front of me. ‘I know why you are so angry. Must hurt to sit with a guy who had fucked your girlfriend, right?’

  ‘No. You need to shut up.’

  ‘Oh wait, girlfriend and student! Must suck for you, man. Your student fucking your girlfriend. That must have been a blow to your male ego.’

  ‘Not at all, Vibhor. You need to stop talking to me or I will hit you.’

  ‘Of course it was. Stop playing around, sir. Maybe in the matter of girls you should take a few lessons from me,’ he said and winked.

  ‘Fuck off, Vibhor. And you need to keep your hands off Megha as well.’

  ‘She was right. You should get over it. If she’s over it, you should be too.’

  ‘What are you guys talking about?’ said Aisha, having retouched her lipstick and fixed her hair.

  ‘Hey! Hey! I thought we were cool!’ exclaimed Vibhor, seeing Erskin, Sarthak and Ankit emerge from behind Aisha.

  ‘We are cool,’ said Ankit and shook hands with Vibhor. ‘We just thought we will join the party. It’s a good day today.’

  ‘Ankit? We all need to leave,’ I said, pointing to everyone.

  But Ankit sat next to Vibhor and poured every one shots from the bottle of Absolut he had carried from the bar. Megha and Vibhor’s friends joined as well.

  ‘Aisha has a stable boyfriend, Sarthak has found the love of his life, Megha and Vibhor are together, and my app got funded! So cheers all around, and Danish you need to lighten up. Don’t mess our vibe,’ said Ankit.

  He passed on the shots.

  What the hell was happening here?

  ‘What say Sarthak? Erskin?’ asked Ankit.

  Both of them took the shots and downed them. They shook hands with Vibhor as well.

  ‘I’m sorry, man,’ Sarthak addressed Vibhor. ‘I went a little overboard. I heard all those things and I just had to beat you up. I’m a brother after all, right? Aisha just told me how sorry she’s for doing whatever she did to you, so I thought I should mend my ways too.’

  ‘It’s okay. It still pains as fuck, bro,’ said Vibhor. ‘It wasn’t a fair fight though. I could have taken you down. I just wasn’t ready that day.’

  ‘Of course you would have.’

  Liquor flowed freely and within the next hour, Vibhor was one of us, cracking jokes, a back-slapping buddy, laughing with us, dancing with Sarthak, being a friend, clicking pictures, that fucking rapist. I dragged Sarthak, and then Erskin, and then Ankit away from Vibhor and his friends, to confront them, to ask them how they were even tolerating that guy and they all told me I was overreacting and that if Aisha had forgiven him, so should we. They asked me to lighten up, damn it. Like how?

  Ankit told me, ‘What are you doing, Danish? She has moved on and so should you? We are all having a good time here. Don’t be such a bore and a spoilsport. The fight is over now. We have all moved on. Just chill now.’

  Sarthak said, ‘And don’t sit there and grumble all the time. When we have forgiven him why are you so stuck up? It’s all cool now. You’re with her and she’s happy and everything’s fine now. So now chill.’

  I snapped, ‘I have no idea what you guys are talking about! Are you out of your fucking minds?’

  Erskin said, ‘Just drink, Danish. Be happy!’

  I didn’t drink. I was seething in anger the entire time. I was surprised how the rest were. Like how drunk were they? How could Aisha say it was her fault after all that happened?

  ‘Danish’s not drinking!’ shouted Vibhor, climbing up on one of the tables. ‘He’s a little pissed about something I said. C’mon, sir, lighten up! WE ARE ALL FRIENDS!’

  ‘Drink, no. Don’t be a spoilsport,’ said Aisha and rubbed my back.

  ‘What are you saying?’ I whisper-shouted at her.

  ‘Just drink,’ she said, ‘For me. Bottoms up on the pitcher.’

  ‘No, Aisha, I’m not in the mood to,’ I said.

  She insisted. And then everyone started shouting. I picked up the pitcher, mostly because I was angry and this right here seemed like a bad freaking dream, downed it in one go and that’s almost the last thing I remember before everything blacked out.

  *

  I woke up in a hotel with a bitch of a headache and rushed straight to the washroom and puked all my internal organs into the commode and flushed them down. What happened last night? I stumbled outside the washroom and found Sarthak, Erskin, Ankit and Aisha sitting calmly on chairs and the floor, sipping on what seemed like lemonade, staring at me.

  On the bed lay a naked boy. It was Vibhor.

  I mumbled, ‘What did you do with him?’

  56

  Aisha Paul

  The look on Danish’s face was priceless.

  ‘We didn’t kill him,’ I clarified. ‘He got a little drunk and he’s sleeping.’

  ‘What’s he doing here?’ he asked. He looked around. ‘Where’s Megha?’

  Sarthak told him they had dropped her home in the night. Scared, Danish bent over to check if he was still breathing.

  ‘What did you guys do? And what happened to me!’

  ‘You drank too much,’ said Ankit. ‘Relax.’

  ‘People! You need to tell me what’s happening!’ he shouted.

  And with that, Vibhor stirred in his bed. He grunted and he moaned and he rubbed his eyes. He called for his mother a few times. When he got no answer, he sat up in his bed and stretched his arms. He rubbed and opened his eyes.

  Now Danish wasn’t the only one who was shocked in the room.

  ‘Aisha? Where’s Megha?’

  ‘She’s home. She doesn’t want to see you any more. She came out with you yesterday so that you could meet us at the bar. Don’t you dare contact her again,’ said Aisha.

  He laughed nervously when he found he was the only one naked in the room and there were eight pairs of eyes on him.

  ‘What is happening here? Where am I?’

  ‘We got you to our hotel,’ said Erskin, brightly. ‘You were too drunk. We just had a good time, Vibhor, that’s it.’

  ‘Huh,’ he said and scrambled for his clothes.

  ‘Oh, never mind them. You had puked all over those clothes so we have given them over to Laundry,’ I said. ‘They will be here any moment.’

  Danish still looked at me strangely. Vibhor laughed nervously. We all looked at him and smiled. He was sweating now. Just then, Vibhor’s phone rang. It was kept on the opposite side of the room. To reach for it he had to get down from the bed. He wrapped his bedsheet around him to cover himself. Now, that bastard had shame? We still looked at him, every bit of him, even as he tried covering himself.

  ‘What is it?’ asked Sarthak as Vibhor looked into his phone.

  ‘Oh. Just likes on some pictures,’ he said, smiling, almost relieved. ‘Pictures of l
ast night. God! We were drunk—’

  And then, the smile was wiped off his face.

  ‘When did this happen?’

  He pointed to a picture of him with five shots in front of him. He had drunk them all.

  ‘You were quite fun last night. We just uploaded the harmless ones on your Instagram. Why don’t you check the other pictures? There are some real fun ones in the gallery,’ Erskin said naughtily.

  He swiped ahead. There was a picture of Erskin and him dancing, and another one of Erskin picking Vibhor up in his arms. And then the classic, Erskin and Vibhor were pouting in one, and right in the next, Erskin was kissing Vibhor on his cheek. Vibhor flushed and looked at us. We grinned right back at them.

  Danish, totally at sea, took the phone from Vibhor and started flicking through the pictures.

  ‘What is happening here?’

  He was shocked. Well, I didn’t blame him.

  ‘God.’

  ‘What!’ Vibhor shrieked.

  Vibhor peeked into the phone. I knew what they were looking at. The twelfth picture was of Vibhor and Erskin arm-in-arm in the backseat of the cab, Erskin with his face buried in Vibhor’s neck and Vibhor giggling away. The next one was an Instagram video of every one of us raising a toast.

  ‘BEING GAY IS AWESOME,’ shouted Vibhor.

  Of course, he meant it for Sarthak and Erskin who were his best friends last night but we edited the video to suit our purpose.

  In the next picture, Erskin and Vibhor were sitting next to each other, hands on each other’s thighs, and Danish had passed out on the ground. The next video was classic—Erskin had taken off his T-shirt and Vibhor was touching his biceps, shouting, ‘That’s huge!’ Then there were a couple of pictures Sarthak and I had taken the liberty of cutting ourselves out of but both Erskin and Vibhor were shirtless and generally hanging out like two alpha males. The last picture had Vibhor sitting on Erskin’s lap. God. Was he that drunk last night?

  And after that Vibhor passed out and we began our work.

  The next few pictures looked like after sex pictures of Erskin and Vibhor. Vibhor was splayed out on the bed, naked, and Erskin was with him, their crotches and asses strategically hidden by stray bed linen. Vibhor’s chest and back were littered with love bites.