Toil And Trouble

  “So, that means everyone else is doomed?” I protested and propped myself up on my elbows, still feeling too winded to stand.

  “Not exactly,” Rand said, rubbing the back of his head.

  “The other creatures have been drinking our blood,” Sinjin answered nonchalantly, crossing his arms against his broad chest.

  “What?” I demanded.

  “It’s the only way we can fortify our strength to fight them,” John answered, sounding defensive.

  “Your blood?” I asked Sinjin, having difficulty with the idea that he would willingly allow anyone to drink from him.

  “Of course not,” he answered, clearly insulted by the idea. “I am a master vampire and I do not share my blood.”

  Hmm, so I guessed it was the lower strata of vampires that were suckling the minion. What a gross thought. Then it occurred to me that maybe Rand had done the same?

  “Rand, have you…”

  “No!” he said, affronted. “I don’t need it.”

  I reached out a hand to him, suddenly thinking he’d be the best subject with which to spar. What better way to prove I could handle my own than tackle Rand? He took my hand and I envisioned a huge gust of wind billowing behind him which landed him on his ass.

  He smiled. “Is it like that then?”

  “Come on, Warlock, let the apprentice parry with the master,” I answered. While we’d been talking, I’d been visualizing healing white light, allowing it to circulate through me. It had taken away the pain and now I felt as good as new. I jumped to my feet. I’d had a win with the wolf and a loss with the vamp. I couldn’t afford a tie.

  I heard Sinjin’s laugh but my attention was on Rand as he stood up and faced me, a smile still visible on his lips. Chances were that Rand would make mince meat of me like Sinjin had but it was a chance I was willing to take. I had something to prove…

  You will regret that. His voice intruded into my thoughts.

  So, come and get me.

  He made no motion to approach me but I suddenly felt myself hovering above the ground and gliding backwards, slowly. Rand, smiling smugly, walked behind me while I struggled to extricate myself from his power. I closed my eyes and concentrated on dropping from the air but that failed. There was nothing I could do to stop Rand’s power. I felt my back against the bark of a tree about twenty feet from where we’d been standing. And then I was completely immobile, as paralyzed as I’d been after my fight with Dougal, the fairy.

  I watched him address the others who looked as astonished as I felt.

  “Get back to work, all of you.”

  John and Christa left arm in arm and Odran had apparently grown impatient with our staging earlier as he was nowhere to be seen. Sinjin wore an expression I couldn’t read and paused for a second before he disappeared into the air.

  And as for you…Rand’s words echoed in my mind as he faced me.

  You never taught me how to paralyze someone, I responded, trying to wiggle my toes which proved impossible.

  Rand was standing in front of me now but made no motion to do anything. His jaw was tight and his complexion appeared incredibly tan against the white of shirt. His eyes lit with passion as they roved me from head to toes.

  “There’s a lot I haven’t taught you,” he said in a low voice, interrupting the chorus of night insects.

  “So, do you plan to keep me stuck to this tree all night?”

  He shrugged. “I could.” He ran his fingers down my face and neck and I shuddered involuntarily. “It might be fun…” He said as his finger continued to draw a line into my cleavage.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be commanding the troops instead of teasing me?” My voice came out breathless, wispy.

  “Yes,” he said simply.

  Kiss me, I thought.

  Rand wasted no time in planting his mouth on mine. There was nothing tender in his kiss; it was ravenous, hungry. His tongue mated with mine in a passionate dance and when he pulled away from me, there was fire in his eyes.

  “Guess it doesn’t take much to get you excited,” I said with a laugh, pulling my knee playfully up to his erection to emphasize the point. “Ah, I’m no longer frozen.”

  “It doesn’t take much to get me excited around you,” he answered. There was a sincerity in his gaze that warmed me to my core.

  I threw my arms around his neck and he pulled me toward him. “Rand, when was the last time you actually slept?”

  “A week ago. I plan to sleep this evening.”

  “Come to my bed tonight,” I said coyly.

  He shook his head. “You come to mine.”

  #

  I did go to Rand’s bedroom later that evening, after shaving my legs and washing my hair. Then I lathered up in my favorite scent of all time—Benefit’s Touch me then try to leave cream (ah, how fitting).

  I sorted through my jammie collection and settled on some blue and white striped cotton short shorts with a matching white camisole. My boobs strained against the material which met my needs perfectly.

  I intended to have sex with Rand tonight.

  I walked the few feet to his bedroom, my heart drumming in time with my steps. The door was closed so I knocked. After receiving no response, I opened the door a touch, only to find Rand’s room empty. I glanced over the hunter-green room, bedecked with rich mahogany wood furnishings and inhaled Rand’s spicy scent. There wasn’t a thing out of place. No dust bunnies either—like it was never lived in. Now what to do with myself… I sat on the bed and noticed a book on one of his night tables. It was Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I sat cross-legged and opened the book, turning to where Rand had left his bookmark.

  I was in no mood to read though, no offense to Mr. Dickens. My mind was too consumed with thoughts of tonight. Rand’s invitation earlier must have been an invitation for sex, right? Or had he only planned to sleep together, in the true sense of the word? He had said he was sleepy.

  “How do you like Dickens?” he asked, suddenly appearing in the doorway.

  “AH!” I screamed, jumping about two feet off the bed. I grabbed my chest, trying to calm my heart down. “You scared me to death!”

  He chuckled and locked the door behind him then approached the bed and looked me up and down. “You look delicious.”

  “Thanks,” I said, heat flushing my cheeks.

  Rand nodded and took the book from my hands, carelessly dropping it back on the night table. I moved closer to him, intending to drape my arms around his neck but he backed away.

  “I need to shower. I’m disgusting.”

  Disgusting was an overstatement. As for showering, he could have magicked himself clean without water, but it never quite worked as well as the real thing.

  I subdued my disappointment. “Okay, I’ll just be right here,” I said, settling into the downy comfort of his ample pillows.

  He smiled and pulled his dirty tee shirt off, revealing the taut muscles of his abdomen. Rand’s chest was nothing short of awe inspiring. Every muscle was chiseled as if by the hand of an artist but he wasn’t at all beefy like those body builder guys. He was perfect. I’d asked him in the past if he’d magicked himself to look like he did and he was offended I’d even considered it.

  Nope, Rand was the real deal.

  “God, you are so gorgeous,” I whispered.

  He smiled at the compliment and reached out, running his fingers down the side of my face. “No, Jules, you are the gorgeous one.”

  It was the first time he’d ever used my nickname.

  “I’ll just be a second,” he said and slipped into the bathroom. I heard the water come on and then Rand humming something. It took me a minute to realize it was Norwegian Wood. I smiled as his pitch dropped and he struggled to reach a high note.

  The water stopped and minutes later, he emerged with wet, uncombed hair, bare-chested and beautiful with a white towel wrapped around his middle.

  “Have you been listening to my Beatles CD again?” I confronted him.

/>   He just smiled.

  Unable to wait another minute, I stood up and rested my head against his chest. He was so incredibly hot, I mean temperature wise. It suddenly dawned on me that I could never enjoy holding Sinjin in such a way, not when he was ice cold. It was a weird thought that had sort of ram-rodded my mind and I pushed it away. What the hell was I doing thinking of Sinjin?

  Rand tilted my chin and kissed me as he scooped my submissive body into his arms and laid me on the bed, climbing on top of me.

  “Rand, make love to me,” I whispered.

  He hesitated momentarily, pausing for a split second before a wide smile took his lips. Fire burned in my stomach as he kissed me, placing my arms above my head. He started at my fingers and ran his hands down my arms until he lifted my camisole up, his mouth tonguing my nipples. He sucked on them as I sighed, running my fingers through his hair.

  “I don’t know how long I can wait,” he whispered. “I’m not feeling especially patient.”

  “We’ve already waited too long.” Yeah, about six months too long.

  He removed one hand from my breast, moving it down my stomach and paused above my thigh. He pushed my shorts to the side and with no warning, pushed a finger inside me. I bucked against the intrusion, arching my back as a groan escaped my lips. A second finger joined the first as he pushed them in and out of me in rapid succession.

  “Rand,” I moaned and he suddenly stopped.

  I opened my eyes to find his clenched shut.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  He opened his eyes at once and forced a smile, “I’m more than okay.”

  But, he didn’t look more than okay. He looked like he was in pain. He resumed sliding his fingers in and out of me again as if to prove his point and I arched underneath him, trying to encourage him to push deeper inside me. I ran my fingers down his taut back, reveling in the feel of his incredible body. Shivers raced over his skin.

  “Rand, I need you now,” I pleaded.

  He hesitated slightly and then yanked the towel away from his midsection and nestled himself between my open legs. I could feel his erection just skimming my opening. I pushed down against it, encouraging him to thrust into me.

  “Don’t tease me,” I begged, wondering what was stopping him from taking me.

  At his resistance to enter me, I opened my eyes to find his clamped shut again, his fists clenching the duvet cover. He didn’t look like someone about to have sex—he looked like he was on the receiving end of finger nails being ripped off or hot pokers up the ass.

  “Rand?”

  He stood so suddenly, he nearly lost his balance and gripped his head, as if he’d just been plagued by the mother of all migraines. “You have to go now, Jolie,” he said in a low voice.

  I sat up in shock and felt my heart drop, like it was free falling from the sixtieth floor. “What?”

  “You just…you just have to go,” he said and disappeared into the bathroom. As he closed the door, I heard the shower come on.

  Okay, what the hell was going on? Amidst the throes of passion, he gets up to take a cold shower? WTF? I stood up, pulling my camisole back down and pushed open the bathroom door, trying to decipher whether I should be livid or concerned.

  “Rand, are you okay?” I took the concerned route.

  Both hands bracing himself against the shower wall, he leaned into the water as it splashed off his head and flowed over his body. His erection was now kaput.

  “We almost bonded.” His voice was thick, deep.

  “Bonded?” I repeated, suddenly remembering what that meant—that when witches bonded, it was their way of marriage for lack of a better word. But, while I wasn’t sure if bondage encouraged tax breaks, what it did encourage was death or insanity should something happen to separate the bonded parties.

  And the fact that we’d just come so close to bonding was a shock in and of itself and it scared the crap out of me. I loved Rand, of that I was sure. But whether I wanted to take this step, especially when in the wake of an Underworld war? Not so much. Regardless, I was beginning to think I was destined for the convent.

  “How?” I insisted.

  “I just couldn’t restrain myself…” he said and sighed, still supporting himself with the shower wall. “The bonding pheromones were coming off you so strongly and my body was aligned with yours. I tried to resist…

  “And did you?”

  “I think so, I don’t feel bonded now.” He turned the shower off but stayed inside the glass stall, heaving as if he’d just run a marathon.

  “Rand, are you going to be alright?”

  He glanced at me but immediately glanced back down again. “Can you return to the bedroom? I’m afraid of what might happen if I look at you right now.”

  Unbelievable! Why was it impossible for me to get laid? Recently it seemed the most action I’d gotten had been at my last pap smear. I shook my head in disbelief and returned to the bedroom, dropping myself and all my despair on his bed.

  “And what’s so bad about bonding with me?” I asked, wanting to play devil’s advocate.

  “If we’re bonded and I don’t…survive this war, it could kill you.”

  “I understand that part; I mean in the future,” I said, ignoring the part about him not surviving the war. That was something I refused to consider and another reason I’d resolved to fight—I had to keep Rand… and Sinjin, safe.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Then where does that leave us?” I persisted and started to get annoyed. Really, I was more annoyed with the situation than anything. If there were such a thing as blue balls for women, I had them bad.

  Rand just shook his head as the bubble of anger growing in me burst. “Why did you even ask me up here tonight?”

  “Because I wanted to be near you and thought I could restrain myself.”

  I nodded and closed my eyes against the whirlwind of confusion blowing through me. I mean, on the one hand I understood his concerns—as always, he was just looking out for me. But, on the other hand, this put us right back where we always were—in a perpetual state of inaction and it was beginning to be too much for me to bear.

  “I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this, Rand,” I said in a small voice.

  He emerged from the bathroom in a blue robe that ended at his knees. I focused on his shapely calves, dusted with a covering of dark brown hair. Even his freaking legs were sexy. I glanced up and noticed he was handing me a white terry cloth robe.

  “Do you mind covering yourself with this dressing gown?”

  I grabbed the robe and dropped it on the floor. Going from steaming hot to ice cold wasn’t something that was in any way fun. I had to remind myself that I was relieved about us not bonding because all I could really focus on was our situation—how it never seemed to progress.

  “I can’t do this anymore,” I announced, starting for the door.

  “Jolie…”

  I turned on him and the tears broke through. “I’m done, Rand. Either you want to be with me or you don’t.”

  “Jolie, if something happens to me, it could kill you—do you understand what I’m saying?”

  “Yes!” I blared. “I’m not an idiot!”

  He shook his head and glanced down. “I’m not willing to risk your safety.”

  “I’m talking about when the war is over,” I persisted. “What then?”

  “Either of us could be imprisoned or dead…” he began.

  “Let’s say we win. Then what?”

  He shook his head and dropped his gaze to the floor, pausing entirely too long. “I don’t know, Jolie. The idea scares me to death.” He looked pensively into my eyes. “Bonding nearly killed me once before. I don’t know that I want to enter into it again.”

  I shook my head at the futility of the conversation—I’d thought his angst was due to the fact that the war was nearly upon us; I had no idea that he never planned to bond again and even though I couldn’t say I was in love with the
idea either, it still hurt. He reached out as if to console me but thought better of it and dropped his hand.

  “If you aren’t willing to allow things to progress naturally to where they seem to be headed, where does that leave me?” I demanded, tears threatening my eyes.

  He ran his hands through his hair as water droplets sprinkled onto the neck cuff of his robe. I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore and they came streaming down my cheeks but I didn’t care. I was too preoccupied with the fact that nothing would ever be what I wanted it to be where Rand was concerned. It was a hard pill to swallow.

  “Don’t think of it like that, Jolie,” he started.

  “And how should I think of it?” He went silent again. “You won’t answer my question so I will—it leaves me in the same place you always leave me…with nothing!”

  “Jolie…”

  I held my hand up to silence him. “This isn’t fair to me, Rand. I need to get over you and I need to move on.”

  “You should also realize it’s difficult for witches to…procreate.”

  I shooed him off with a wave of my hand. “I already knew that. Mathilda told me. But, I would have sacrificed that if it meant we could be together.”

  “It would eventually destroy me if I wasn’t able to give you a baby.”

  I turned toward the door again and twisted the doorknob. “I just can’t do this anymore, Rand.”

  “Jolie,” he said as the door refused to budge. “Don’t leave.”

  “Open the door,” I demanded, the need to escape suffocating.

  He was on me almost instantly. “God, don’t you see this is just as difficult on me?”

  “Difficult on you?” I scoffed, jerking away from him. “You’re the one who won’t give in to the possibilities, not me. So, no, I don’t see that this is in any way as difficult for you.”

  “I haven’t said no to bonding…in the future,” he corrected in a small voice.

  “But, you aren’t exactly welcoming the idea either.” I paused and wiped the tears from my eyes. “And that’s not good enough for me.”

  “I thought our relationship was coming along nicely, why can’t we just go back to how it was?”