Collision
Mariah squealed behind them and held her arms out as she waited for her turn to hug her niece.
“Still gorgeous,” Oliver said as he set Kei back onto the ground and let her loose so Mariah could get a hold of her.
“How was your trip?” he asked me.
“It was great,” I answered. “No problems at all. It was nice to have someone to keep me company.”
“And first class was splendid,” Kei said, “absolutely splendid. I’ve been spoiled, and it will be nearly impossible to survive economy when I return home.”
“Hello, Cab,” Mariah greeted.
“Lawd have mercy! Are you gonna bring that child inside, or am I gonna have to come out there?”
“Coming, Millie,” Kei called. “Just a moment. Let us get our bags.”
The four of us grabbed the luggage from the trunk and finally made our way inside to a waiting Millie.
“Oh, Anna, look at you. So beautiful.”
Kei ran to her and hugged her.
“Hello, Grandma Millie. I missed you!”
“Anna, you are stunning. Your mama would be so proud to see your face.”
Anna. Apparently, Millie still called her by her given name. I couldn’t help but wonder how Kei felt about that and if it reminded her of the life she seemed to be trying to forget.
“Don’t you worry, Millie. She’ll see it soon enough.” Kei’s voice now turned very Southern. Her drawl matched her grandmother’s.
“I suppose she will. I bet she’ll tell you you’re pretty?”
“I hope she’s pleased.”
“I know she will be. Bless her heart. Such a doll,” the woman said before kissing her on the cheek. “And who’s this cool drink o’ water?” she asked, looking at me.
“That’s Cabot. He’s a guest.”
“Your guest?”
“No, ma’am. He’s Oliver’s guest. He’ll be staying in the guest house for the week.”
“And staying away from you, I hope.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’m not his type.”
The hell you aren’t.
Kei winked at me and then led the woman into the living room while I stood in shock.
“You’ll never guess who I saw yesterday while we were driving ’round town,” Millie said.
“Who?” Kei asked as she helped the woman into a chair in the living room.
“Just set everything down,” Mariah told me. “Come on in and chat with us for a bit.”
“All right.” I put down the luggage and sat next to Kei on the couch before someone else could take the spot.
“Gert Winters,” Millie continued. “That poor woman was walking down the street in all this heat, dressed to the hilt, and thinking she’s in high cotton. Little did she know, her slip was flapping in the wind behind her. She looked a mess, bless her heart.”
Kei tapped my elbow with hers, making sure I’d heard the veiled insult.
“Oliver wanted to offer up a ride, but I told him not to bother. She’s jus’ trying to show off her money, all dressed up like that. It was the most pitiful sight my eyes have laid on in quite some time. We need to pray the pride right off her.”
“I’m sure she’d appreciate that,” Kei said as she elbowed me again.
Oliver brought his mother a glass of tea, and as he talked to her, Kei turned to me, cupped her hand around my ear, and whispered into it, “Prepare yourself. We’re about to have some fun.”
“So, Millie,” she said, turning to the woman again, “do you have anything for me?”
“Lawd yes! Oliver, fetch my pocketbook.”
“Yes, Mama.”
“You have too little, Anna. Every time my eyes spot something, I just can’t resist snatching it for you.” Her eyes followed her son as he brought her the bag and put it on the table in front of her. There was no way her pocketbook would’ve fit in a pocket. “Last month, we were staying at such a nice hotel. They had all kinds o’ things for you, Anna. I got towels and such and put ’em in your room when we got here. They’re up there, waitin’ on ya. I even got you a robe. It’s a wonderful terrycloth thing. You’ll love it. I know you will.”
“I’m sure,” Kei said, nodding.
“Mama only thinks the things are free. I’m sure they’ll end up on my bill,” Oliver mumbled. “We’ll be lucky if they don’t consider it theft and press charges.”
“It ain’t stealing if it’s free. Isn’t that right, Anna?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Kei, you’re not helping,” Oliver snapped.
“Oh, leave ’em be,” Mariah snapped back. “They haven’t seen each other in almost a year. Let the women chat. And get me some tea. Cab, would you like some tea?”
“I can get it myself.” I stood to go, but Kei grabbed my hand and yanked me back onto the couch.
“Oliver will get it for you. You stay put. Go ahead, Millie. What do you have for me?”
“Let’s see here.” The woman’s wrinkled hands disappeared into the bag and then pulled out a handful of something and laid them on the table. “Ketchup,” she muttered as she pulled out more. “You can never have enough ketchup. Course, there’s probly some mustard in there too, and honey. I found a lot o’ honey at the restaurant we ate breakfast at every morning. They had mo’ than enough, and I know that if they knew it was going to the poor, they woulda approved.”
“The poor?” I whispered in Kei’s ear. “Are you the poor?”
“Of course,” she whispered. “I do love honey,” Kei cooed out loud as she sorted the packets into piles according to what they were.
“Oh, and Anna, you’re gonna be so thrilled at this,” she said, digging some more. “I found these in the bathroom of the same restaurant. I got no need for them anymore ’cause my plumbing stopped working over three decades ago.”
“Oh no,” Kei muttered. “I don’t want to know.”
“Here you go,” Millie said, handing out a handful of tampons. “Those should help you a little bit.” Her hands then reached in and threw out some pads too. They landed on the mustard packets.
“Wonderful,” Kei muttered. Her face practically turned the color of her hair.
“Now don’t go sharing those with Mariah. She can afford her own.”
“No, Mama. My plumbing’s not working either.” Mariah laughed. “Kei can have ’em all to herself.”
Kei took the items from her grandmother and stuffed them in the sofa cushion before turning to me. “Sorry you had to witness that.”
“I grew up with three sisters. It doesn’t faze me. Course, I did enjoy seeing you squirm. It was priceless.”
“You better watch yourself, Cabot. She figures out who you are, and she’ll be stealing you condoms and passing them to you in front of the pastor or something.”
“Wonderful. You can never have too many of those,” I teased.
“I still don’t want to know.”
“Do you think she’d get me some of those small bottles of liquor?”
“Those aren’t free, and you don’t drink anymore, remember?”
“Oh yeah.”
By the time I turned my attention back to the old woman, she’d pulled out five small packets of crayons; dozens of mints; three toothbrushes; several hotel-sized bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body lotion; a big stack of napkins; and three large steak knives.
“I got those at Outback Steakhouse today,” she said. “Anna, do you need steak knives in Africa?”
“Sure.”
“Wonderful.” She looked back into the bag and felt around
inside.
She reminded me of Mary Poppins, reaching into the bag and pulling out item after item. I about expected her to pull out a coat rack.
“Anna, I got you one more thing here, if I could just find the sucker. Ah. Here it is.” She pulled out a Bible. “You know the Gideons would want the Lawd’s Word making its way to Africa. I’m certain they’d be thrilled.”
I literally had to throw my hand over my mou
th to keep from laughing.
“You know what, Millie. I think Cabot might actually need this.” Kei tossed it onto my lap. “I didn’t notice one in his guest house whilst I was cleaning last summer. Did you bring one, Cabot?” she asked, turning to me with a smile.
“I kind of left mine at home,” I said. “Thank you for sharing.”
“It’s what we missionaries do. You know, help spread the gospel to sinners such as yourself.”
“Cabot, you won’t be a sinner much longer if Anna get’s a hold of you,” Millie assured.
I spoke to Millie without taking my eyes of Kei. “She’s got a hold of me all right. You have no idea.”
“Good. You’re a good-looking boy. I’d like to get to see you after we pass on from this earth. I’m sure Anna feels the same way.”
“I sure hope so.”
“Only because it’s in my job description,” Kei said, slapping my leg. I think she was trying to get me to stop looking at her. She was out of luck.
“I thought you were off duty when you’re in the States.”
She was about to slap me again, but I grabbed her hand and held it between us on the couch.
“Anna doesn’t even know what off duty means. It’s not in her vocabulary. She could singlehandedly save the world if there were enough time in the day. Just get the girl a cape.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’m sure she could.”
Our eyes locked for another few seconds before she yanked her hand out of mine and stood.
“I’ll go put these where they go.”
“Do you want some help?” I offered.
“Not from you. You stay here and keep Millie entertained. Tell her a little about yourself. Mariah and I can handle this. Hey, Millie, Cabot just visited Uganda for three weeks. You should have him tell you all about it.”
“He was in Uganda?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“When?”
“Just now. We came back together.”
“Is this the same boy who stayed here this summer while you were home?”
“Yes, ma’am. He’s the one,” Mariah said, standing and filling her arms with loot. “Come on, Kei. We’ve got a fundraiser to plan.”
Millie turned her attention to me. “I’d love to hear your story. I betcha it’s a good one.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Kei said as she scooped up the condiment packets. “You’re gonna love it.”
The second she and Mariah were out of the room, Millie moved swiftly from the chair to the empty seat next to me.
“You like my granddaughter,” she announced.
“Yes, ma’am.” I didn’t bother trying to lie. I figured she’d been alive long enough to spot that sort of thing.
“Are you a gentleman?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You treat her well?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Does she know how you feel about her?”
“No, ma’am.”
“You haven’t told her?”
“It’s never the right time.”
“We’ll have to make sure the right time appears then, now won’t we?”
“I would appreciate that.”
Millie looked around to make sure that nobody was listening in. “She’s skittish, like an alley cat. You’ll have to take your time, let her sniff you out so to speak.”
“All right.”
“Be gentle with her. She’s rarely known gentle. Course, if you aren’t gentle, I don’t want you with her.”
“I’m gentle. And I’m skittish too, at least when it comes to her. She scares the crap out of me.”
“You saying you aren’t a player? Most actors are players.”
“You know who I am?”
“I might be ancient, but I ain’t dead. Everyone knows who you are.”
“Kei didn’t know.”
“She’s a one of a kind like that,” she said, her voice now softer.
“Yes, she is.”
“Not a pretentious bone in her scrawny body. Status isn’t important to her.”
“That’s one of the things I like about her the most.”
“I’m sure you do.” She leaned toward me and scowled. “You hurt my granddaughter, and I’ll cut your balls off. You hear?”
I gulped. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I’m from the South, was raised on a farm. We castrated cows all the time and fried the balls up for dinner. It didn’t faze me, and I won’t flinch if I gotta de-ball you for hurting my Anna.”
“I’m sure you wouldn’t.”
“So you understand what I’m sayin’?”
“If I hurt her, you cut my balls off. It’s crystal clear.”
“Good. Lawd knows that girl deserves some good in her life.”
I nodded in agreement. “Yes, ma’am.”
“One more thing.”
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Keep it in your pants.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You cross that line and I’ll cut it off and use a dull knife to do it. You’ll be wishing you was dead.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“All right then.” She smiled, reached over, and patted me on the head like I was a dog. “I need more tea.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
C H A P T E R
27
By the time Millie finished with me, Oliver and Mariah were busy unpacking and settling in and Kei had gone back to her room.
I knocked on her door.
“Come in.”
I opened the door and stuck my head in. “Thanks for abandoning me out there.”
She climbed onto her bed as she laughed at me. “I apologize. Baptism by fire, so to speak. Come on in.”
“You got the fire part right. I’ve never seen anything like it. Oh. Here.” I laid the tampons on her bed. “You left those behind.”
“That doesn’t get any less embarrassing. But thank you for looking out for me.”
“Sure. You know, community service, helping the poor and all.”
“The poor appreciates it.” She laughed.
“You tired?”
“Not at all. I think I’m still on Uganda time or something.”
“Me either. You wanna go to a movie?” I spit the words out before I chickened out.
“A film? Outside this house? Is that safe for you?”
“I figured we could go to the last one of the night. If we get there early and sit in the back, everybody will walk right past us and won’t know the difference.”
“Um…”
“Come on. Don’t you want to get out? And besides, it’s the least you can do after leaving me out there to deal with Millie all on my own.”
“Is one of your films playing at the cinema?”
“Probably somewhere.”
“I’d like to see one, get to see your mug on a massive screen. I’d get a jolt out of it. Maybe it’ll help me determine what it is everyone’s all worked up about.”
“I hate watching myself, but I’ll do it if that’s what it takes to get you to go with me.” I could feel the smile on my face. I’m sure it was huge.
“All right then. What does one wear when they go to the movies with the Choice Male Hottie?”
“You wear whatever you want. What you have on is fine.”
“These are sweats.”
“You look great to me.”
“You better watch yourself, or I’m going to believe you’re thinking this is a date,” she teased.
“I wouldn’t dare.”
“Good. Because I wouldn’t want you to think I was breaking our agreement.”
“Our agreement?”
“Our agreement to be pals. Remember? On the day I found out your identity, I promised you I wouldn’t have ulterior motives.”
My heart felt like it slid down my chest and into my foot. “I’d forgotten about that,” I murmured.
“Well, don’t worry. I have a very good memory, and lucky for you, I don’t generally break my promise
s.”
“Okay, well…you get dressed. We’ll leave in twenty minutes.”
“I’ll be ready.”
I was halfway down the stairs when she called my name. I turned and looked up at her as she stood looking over the stair rail.
“Thanks for asking me to go with you.”
“You’re welcome. Thanks for saying yes.”
“See you in twenty minutes,” she said.
“I’ll be waiting for you in the roundabout.”
“Brilliant.”
•••••
Kei ran to the ticket counter and bought the tickets while I parked the car and waited for the crowds to die down. Once it was as safe as it was going to get, I threw on my hat, tossed my sweatshirt hood over my head, and keeping my head down, walked inside.
Nobody even looked our direction. We made it inside the theater and into two seats on the back row without a notice.
“This whole sneaking around thing is actually quite fun,” she said as we slid down in our seats.
I put my feet on the seat in front of me and crossed my arms over my chest until I was hunched over.
She watched me and then did the same. “Is this part of the disguise?”
“Yep. Brilliant, right?”
“Quite. Nobody would ever think to look at us. We both look miffed and miserable.”
“Little do they know.”
“Will it upset you if I admit that I’m actually very excited to see this film? I’m thrilled to get to see you do what it is you do best.”
“It doesn’t upset me at all. But it isn’t necessarily what I do best.”
“Then what do you do best?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Well, you’re young. There’s still time to figure it out.”
A group of teenagers walked in and took seats in the middle of the room. A girl spotted us and snickered before leaning over and whispering in a friend’s ear. The friend then snuck a peek and also laughed.
“Do you think they figured you out?” she asked.
“No. They’re laughing because the theater is completely empty but we still picked the back row.”
“Why is that funny?”
“Uh…” I laughed, suddenly embarrassed. “Couples usually sit on the back row so they can snog.”
“Really?”
“Really.” I let my head fall back and to the side, so I faced her.
“So they think we’re going to be sitting back here snogging during the entire movie?”