Much Ado About Vampires: A Dark Ones Novel

  That didn’t mean that Kristoff hadn’t pulled Alec aside as soon as we got to the hotel, and had what appeared to be a heated discussion in German.

  “Do you speak German?” I had asked Pia, watching the two of them as they stood in a corner of the hotel’s lobby, Alec standing with an implacable expression, while Kristoff, gesturing wildly, evidently vented his spleen.

  “No. Which, I have to say, right now I’m really happy about, because I have a feeling Kristoff isn’t being very nice to Alec, and I really would hate to have to yell at him for that, since he was so sweet about paying for Ulfur.”

  We watched for another minute, Ulfur joining us. “Are they angry at me?” he asked.

  “No. Kristoff doesn’t seem to like Alec’s plan, and I don’t think Alec likes being yelled at.... Oh, now that was just uncalled for.” Kristoff had, with an angry word, turned away from Alec, who put out a hand to stop him. Kristoff shoved Alec back.

  “Ouch,” Pia winced as Alec returned the favor, shoving Kristoff, who stumbled backward over an ottoman, smacking his head on a table. She sighed. “I suppose we should intervene. On the other hand, maybe they just need to work things out between themselves.”

  “Probably.” Are you all right?

  Yes.

  His answer was as terse as his mood, so I didn’t push him, simply waited for Kristoff, who had leaped to his feet and was now yelling in Italian at Alec, to get done so we could continue on. By the time they had done so, and Ulfur inquired worriedly about the level of pain involved with being one of Bael’s little playthings, the two men had worked out most of their animosity without, thankfully, any blood having been drawn.

  Terrin eyed Alec as we rode up in the elevator. “I spoke to the Sovereign on your behalf.”

  “And?” Alec asked, one eyebrow rising in question.

  Terrin sighed. “The Sovereign wishes it to be known that it does not involve itself in situations not of its making, or which lack a direct impact on its purview, which, despite your threat, this does not fall under.”

  Alec swore under his breath. My stomach clenched with worry, causing Alec to pull me up next to him, his arm around me.

  “That’s all it had to say? It doesn’t get involved in situations like ours?” I asked, alternately wanting to cry and to yell at the head of heaven that it had to help us because we were the good guys.

  “No, that’s not all that was said. It made mention of a few other things, one in particular which I think you might find pertinent.” Terrin’s eyes twinkled with amusement.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “It was in the form of a personal addition to Alec.”

  “And that would be?” Alec asked.

  Terrin smiled. “Bring it on.”

  Alec snorted in derision.

  “Bring it on?” I asked, astonished.

  “That’s what it said, yes.”

  “Bring it on!” Fury roared through me at the words. “What the hell sort of thing is that to say? Bring it on? I don’t think I like this Sovereign at all. Just wait until we get Diamond out. We’ll see who’s got the attitude then!”

  “Cora, I don’t think—” Pia started to say, but I interrupted her.

  “Your precious Sovereign wants us to bring it on? Well, we’ll just do that!”

  Terrin looked shocked as Alec pulled me tighter against him, saying in a weary voice, “Mi corazón—”

  “I will not stand here and let some jerkwad flip us that kind of crap, Alec!”

  “Jerkwad?” Terrin asked on a gasp.

  “Oooh,” Pia said, her eyes big.

  Alec’s eyebrows rose as he considered me. “I had no idea you were so aggressive.”

  “I’m not aggressive, not overly so,” I said, pushing up my sleeves, just as if I were going to battle that moment. “But I don’t tolerate being pushed around by anyone, not you, not Bael, and not some half-assed leader of a group of pansy angels and cherubs and . . . and . . . and whatever else they have in this lame version of heaven!”

  Terrin blinked.

  “Why don’t you tell us what you really think, Cora?” Kristoff suggested with a hint of a smile.

  Before I could do just that, we arrived at the floor where Terrin had taken a suite. I marched into the room feeling as if I were a dog with my hackles up, annoyed beyond anything that our sole hope for help had dismissed us without so much as batting a heavenly eyelash.

  “Bring it on,” I growled to myself, and added a few more thoughts as Terrin arranged Ulfur and me on either side of him.

  Beloved, muttering curses to yourself is not going to help our cause.

  Perhaps not, but it sure makes me feel a whole lot better. Besides, our cause is lost at this point. At least it is until we show the Sovereign that we mean business.

  Not lost, no. We have yet to hear what the Sovereign will do to help us, although if you continue invoking curses upon its head, you risk losing that help.

  I stared at Alec as Terrin put one hand on my shoulder, and one on Ulfur’s, closing his eyes to chant softly to himself. Didn’t you hear Terrin? He said the Sovereign refused to help.

  He stated the Sovereign’s policy toward mortal involvement, yes. He also mentioned that wasn’t all that was said. I imagine Terrin is waiting until your friend is safe before revealing what form the aid we seek will take.

  I really hate it when you are smarter than me, I groused, giving him a quick glare that melted instantly at the burning heat shimmering in his forest green eyes.

  I’m not smarter, love. I simply have more experience with Otherworld officials like this one. And if you keep looking at me like that, I will take you off to the nearest bed and ravish you exactly as you are imagining at this moment.

  Oh, that would be lovely.... My attention, unfortunately, was demanded by Terrin at that moment, so it was with reluctance that I gave up imagining licking every inch of Alec’s body, and focused on the task at hand.

  The summoning was much briefer than that conducted by the Guardian Noelle, presumably because Ulfur and I were there to give Terrin’s summons a bit of an oomph. Whatever the reason, no sooner had he spoken the few words of summoning than the air shimmered and gathered itself up into the form of a woman holding a bright pink marker in one hand, and who was saying over her shoulder, “Now, if you restructure the focus group to include participants who haven’t been strung up by their toes, you’d have a better idea of what torments really work, and what sort of a bias the group has.... Why, hello, Cora!”

  Terrin’s shoulders sagged in relief as he released his hold on our shoulders. “Thank the stars. Welcome back, Diamond.”

  “Terrin! It’s been forever since I’ve seen you. You look marvelous, as ever.” Diamond smiled happily at him, her smile growing when she spotted Alec. “Oh, and it’s that nice Dark One of yours, Cora. But I wish you hadn’t summoned me out just as I was presenting my workshop on better torture methodology.”

  She gave me a hug, then stepped back, her head tipped to the side as she gave me a once-over. “Something is different about you. You look . . . changed.”

  “Yes, well, we found out we’re—you, Ulfur, and me, that is—now officially Tools of Bael. You’re the Voice of Lucifer, I think, and something like that is bound to have an impact on appearance.”

  She looked startled for a moment at that statement. “I’m the Voce di Lucifer? How . . . oh, that chalice, the pretty one in the basement? How very curious.” She gave Pia and Kristoff a wary look. “I hope you know those two people very well, Cora, because if what you say is so—and really, I have no reason to doubt it, since no one would joke about being a Tool of Bael—then all three Tools are present in one spot, and that could be a very bad thing if those two people are not at all trustworthy.”

  “They are,” I said with a smile, and made the introductions, briefly explaining the relationship between Ulfur and Pia.

  “Mercy, a Zorya?” Diamond said, looking thrilled to her toes. “I’ve never
met one of you, but I’ve always wanted to. Is it true you control the light of the moon?”

  “Former Zorya,” Kristoff growled as Pia answered, “Yes, although I can’t anymore, now that I’ve been stripped of my Zoryaness.”

  “Too bad,” Diamond sighed.

  Terrin, obviously drained by the summoning, straightened himself up and announced that he would return to the Court to notify Disin that Diamond was once again in the mortal world.

  “Thank you, although I really was having the most interesting time in the Akasha,” she said, giving him a hug, as well. “Tell Great-grandma that I’ll pop in to visit her one of these days, just as soon as I can. Oh, I suppose I should call Dee and let him know I’m all right. He’s probably beside himself with worry.” Diamond pulled out a cell phone and wandered into a bedroom, humming softly to herself.

  “She has no idea how close she came to being stuck there permanently, does she?” I asked, looking after her.

  “She does; she just assumed we’d get her out in time,” Terrin said, his dark gaze slipping from me to Alec, who stood watching the little man with his arms crossed over his chest.

  “Sounds like her. So, are we going to have to beat down the gates of heaven, or is your Sovereign dude going to do something to help us?” I said, giving Terrin a firm look that should have warned him I was going to brook no nonsense. “Alec says you’re keeping something from us, that your boss will help us, but frankly, I don’t think so. I think we’re going to have to show your precious Sovereign that we are a force to be feared.”

  Terrin sighed, making a tired gesture toward Alec. “I don’t know how I can stand in the face of such a threat. As it is, your Dark One is correct. The Sovereign, while unable to violate the protocols of the Court of Divine Blood, is nonetheless sympathetic to mortal causes, and for that reason, has ordered me to contact, on your respective behalves, someone who has experience with both Bael and Abaddon.”

  “Who’s that?” Pia asked, looking as curious as I felt.

  “Me,” a feminine voice said from the doorway.

  We all turned to see a pretty woman with fluffy blond hair and a candy-apple red wool power suit standing at the door. “Ooh, two Dark Ones and their Beloveds! How exciting! I never get to see Dark Ones anymore. Terrin, my dear, you look positively ancient in that suit! What have I told you? You’re a summer; you should be wearing lovely peaches and grays and creams, not those dreary browns that you insist on wearing all the time. Have you used that microbead skin care kit I gave you for your birthday? You haven’t, have you? I can see you haven’t. Honestly, why do I go to the trouble of trying to help you if you are just going to resist all of my advice?”

  “This is Sally,” Terrin said, a look of martyrdom coming over his face.

  “That’s Prince Sally to you,” she said with a little laugh as he grimaced. “Or ‘Your Infernal Highness, Lord Sally of the twenty-seven legions.’ Or even, ‘Sally the magnifique.’ French makes everything better, don’t you think? Not that it’s an official title, you understand,” she told us in a confiding tone, “but I think it has a snazzy ring to it, and it annoys the other demon lords, so I like to use it. I understand you have a little issue with Bael you’d like taken care of?”

  “Prince Sally?” I asked, wondering if the day would come when I wasn’t confused by things everyone said.

  “Dio,” Kristoff swore, rubbing his face. “That’s all we need.”

  “What do we need?” Pia asked, turning to him.

  “Um. I hate to sound like the stupid one here, but why are you a prince and not a princess?” I asked. “Unless . . . oh. You’re a transvestite?”

  “Me?” Sally said with a tinkling laugh. “A transvestite? Oh, my, I’m going to have to remember that joke to tell everyone. Me! Hee hee hee.”

  Terrin rolled his eyes heavenward. “Now that Sally—who, I assure you, is not a transvestite—is here, I will take my leave of you all. The mare is awaiting my return.”

  “Ah, gotcha. You two are . . . together?” I said, nodding at Sally.

  She smiled at Terrin and blew him a kiss. “We are indeed together, aren’t we, sweetness?”

  “Alas, that is the truth.” He sighed, and toddled out of the room.

  “He’s so cute when he’s in Saint Terrin the Martyred mode, isn’t he?”

  “I heard that,” he protested as the door closed behind him.

  Sally took the opportunity to give me a very thorough visual examination. “You look quite charming in that dress. The color goes well with your skin tone,” she said at long last, not at all what I expected. I looked down at the amber-colored short lace dress, brushing a hand down the beading at the neckline, becoming aware of Alec staring at my legs.

  Stop it. You’ve seen my legs before.

  Yes, but I hadn’t realized until this moment just how much of them your dress exposes. In the future, I would prefer that you get them made so they fall below your knees, not above.

  That’s seriously control freak, and going to do nothing but make me walk around in a bikini.

  “However,” Sally said, interrupting the lecture that I could feel Alec about to deliver, “your hair! My dear, when I was at the Carrie Fae Academy of Good Looks and Perky Bosoms, we had one rule, and that was that bad-hair days should be abolished from this earth. You are not doing your part to achieve that goal.”

  I touched my hair, an indignant retort on my lips, but she gave me a smile that had an awful lot of teeth in it, and added, “I’m a prince because the rules of Abaddon say that all demon lords are princes, regardless of gender.”

  “Good lord, you’re a demon lord?” Pia asked, just as shocked as I was.

  I pressed up against Alec. “Jesus wept!” Alec, we have to get out of here! She’s a demon lord!

  “Ulfur!” Pia said, reaching for him. “Kristoff, don’t just stand there! Do something!”

  One that the Sovereign of the Court of Divine Blood has recommended to help us.

  “Do what, exactly?” Kristoff asked Pia.

  But all three of us are here! Together! She could use us!

  “She’s a demon lord!” Pia said, waving at Sally, obviously having the same thought that I was. “That’s bad, isn’t it?”

  Yes, Alec said slowly, his mind turning over all sorts of possibilities. That’s exactly what I think the Sovereign intended.

  “I am not an it, and I am not bad,” Sally said with another toothy smile, this time shared between all of us. “Well, sometimes I am, but most of the time, I’m just naughty, if you get my drift.”

  You mean this woman is supposed to boot Bael from power and take over his position? But what’s to stop her from using us then?

  Bael will be destroyed. So will his power. You will no longer be able to channel it; thus, no one could use you.

  “Oh,” I said aloud, understanding at last why Alec wasn’t in the least bit panicking. “You’re going to take Bael’s position, aren’t you?” I asked Sally.

  “Well . . .” She brushed at nothing on her wool power suit. “I admit to having a tiny little urge, a very tiny desire, to be the premier prince of Abaddon, but really, I’m doing it because the Sovereign feels it is important that you get some help.”

  “I don’t understand,” Pia said, releasing Ulfur from the death grip she held on his arm.

  “I don’t, either,” Ulfur said, giving Sally a doubtful look. “If you’re a demon lord, why does the Sovereign trust you?”

  “Yeah,” I said, wanting to know that very thing.

  She shrugged. “You’d have to ask the Sovereign that. Right now, I have work to do. And I think we should start now.”

  The door to the hall opened, and two people strolled into the room, one of whom was a familiar-looking woman bearing a long, black sword.

  “Wrath demons! ” Ulfur said, stumbling backward, but not fast enough. Sally grabbed him, sending him flying toward the door, before turning to me. I thought at first she was simply getting him out of the
way of the demons, but one look at her face told me otherwise.

  “Alec—” was all I had time to say. The two demons, one of which we’d seen in the Akasha, leaped forward, heading straight for Alec and Kristoff. I screamed and kicked at Sally as she jerked me out the door with her, shoving Ulfur before us.

  Chapter Fifteen

  You’d think that two people with reasonable intelligence and in a good state of health would be able to overpower one tiny little poufy-haired woman, but if that tiny woman was also a demon lord, you’d be very, very wrong.

  “Ouch!” I yelled, trying to punch Sally when she slammed me against the back of the elevator, throwing Ulfur in after me. “You son of a bitch! I’ll get you for this!”

  I lunged at her, unable to get up with Ulfur lying across my legs, but I did try to bite her. She waved a hand and I hit the floor again.

  “Oh, please,” she said, making a gesture that had me frozen to the floor, Ulfur lying half on top of me.

  She stepped across our bodies, pressing a button and humming softly along with the elevator music as we began to descend.

  “I knew it! I knew a demon lord couldn’t be good!” Alec!

  Beloved, are you all right? Where are you?

  In an elevator, lying on the floor. Alec, the wrath demons . . . Sally is evil! I knew she was evil! She took us all in!

  Why are you—sins of the saints!

  What’s wrong?

  Other than the fact that Kristoff and I are trying to keep from being beheaded by two wrath demons, you mean?

  Oh. Am I distracting you?

  Are you harmed?

  No.

  Then you are distracting me. I will come to you as soon as we destroy these demons’ forms.

  “Good, bad . . . that’s so black-and-white when there are so many shades of gray that are far more interesting,” Sally said complacently.

  “Oh, you think you’re so smart,” I growled. “Just you wait until Alec takes care of your demon minions! Then we’ll show you what’s what. Right, Ulfur?”

  “Urgh,” he groaned.

  “Exactly. You’ll be one sorry chickie, and I just can’t wait to tell your boyfriend about you.”