Interlude (Rockstar #4)

  "Here, here!" Everyone lifts their glasses.

  I nod and down the rest of my drink.

  Giovanni rests a hand on my shoulder. "You once saved my life. I won't ever forget that."

  "You and Ernesto saved mine as well, so I'd say we're even," I remind him.

  Gio inclines his head in partial agreement. "I'll always owe you for not being there for your mother. If I'd known…"

  "Gio," Ernesto begins, "she knew to call if she needed help. She didn't make that call."

  "She knew what she was doing," I tell them. "She couldn't take any more from the old man. She barely made it through the last beating, if you remember."

  Giovanni's jaw ticks. "I remember. He didn't suffer enough."

  Ernesto nods. "Nickels was just a boy then and he was fucking terrified at what he thought I was going to do to him. I wasn't able to take the time I'd have liked to make that bastard suffer as he deserved."

  I nod, then lift the glass that Carlo just refilled. "May the bastard burn in hell."

  "I'll drink to that," more than one man says, and I realize just how many men knew my father—and hated him.

  "I'm surprised he lived as long as he did," I mutter.

  "You and me both," Gio replies. "But he's dead now and you've made something of yourself you can be proud of. Look forward, not back."

  I nod.

  There's nothing in the past to look back at now. There's only the future.

  I know it's wrong for a twenty-five-year-old man to be enamored with a seventeen-year-old girl, but there's a pull to her I can't resist. She has so much growing up to do before I make her mine. It's a good thing I am a patient man—and an understanding one, or I'd have killed the boy she took to her prom, the one she lost her virginity to in a hotel room, the one she thought she was in love with. Then she caught him with another girl. My broken-hearted girl wept for the asshole who didn't deserve any of her tears. I know all of this because she and Luciana are monitored. Only a few of us are privy to the information on those tapes and images, and I make sure no one ever knows their secrets. Only me. Well, and Gio. The man knows everything.

  I see her everywhere. I long for her—to touch her smooth skin, kiss her soft lips, see her smile, hear her laugh. I'd do anything for her. I'd die for her. It's been this way from the first moment I saw her.

  She's across the room from me now at a Russo family gathering and I see her watching me, and when I catch her, she looks away with a blush. It's… endearing.

  "Who is that?" she whispers to Carlotta.

  "Oh my dear, that's Cage. Surely you've met him before?"

  Sera tilts her head to the side. "I'm not sure."

  Carlotta smiles and grabs Sera's hand. "Come, I'll introduce you."

  Shit. My heart rate picks up and I realize I'm nervous. I can face down stone cold killers without blinking an eye, but this woman makes my hands sweat and heart beat faster. Yep. She's my one. She just doesn't know it yet…or maybe, with the looks she's giving me, she does.

  Giovanni smiles as Carlotta and Serafina approach us.

  "Stop fidgeting," Gio tells me, and I notice I'm flipping a nickel between my fingers. I haven't done that in… a very long time.

  "Shit," I say under my breath and Gio chuckles.

  "This should be interesting," he mutters.

  And it is.

  They walk up and Carlotta embraces me and kisses my cheek.

  "Cage, it's so nice to see you again."

  "You as well," I reply.

  She steps back and places her hand on Sera's back, urging her forward.

  "This is our granddaughter Serafina. Sera, this is Cage Nichols," Carlotta says by way of introduction.

  Sera blushes a pretty pink and holds out her hand. I take hers gently between both of mine, engulfing them, holding them as the punch of attraction and awareness crackles around and through me—and from her reaction, I'd say through her as well.

  She truly is my one. A smile tugs at the side of my mouth for the first time in forever, the feeling foreign. Carlotta notices and winks at me, while Giovanni's brows lift.

  "It's a pleasure to meet you, Serafina."

  She pauses, her gaze locked on mine. "You as well, Mr. Nichols."

  I shake my head. "Just Cage."

  She nods. "And I'm Sera."

  "Cage is a record producer," Carlotta informs Sera, but Sera just nods, her eyes locked on mine. It seems wrong to keep the fact that I'm part of la Famiglia from Sera and Lucy, and I ponder that thought as I stand here, still holding Sera's hand, relishing the feel of her warmth, her soft skin.

  "Sera!" Lucy yells, hurrying toward us, breaking the spell. Sera pulls her hand from between mine and I immediately feel the loss… the emptiness.

  "Hi Cage," Lucy greets. She's a friendly one. I only met her twenty minutes ago and it's as if we're long-lost friends.

  I nod. "Lucy."

  "Sera," Lucy whispers, "you have to come see this."

  Sera looks to her grandparents for approval and they give it. She starts walking away, then stops and looks back at me over her shoulder.

  "It was nice meeting you, Cage."

  "You as well, Sera. I'll see you soon."

  Her eyes widen then a smile slowly forms. "I've no doubt you will," she says before turning to follow Lucy out of the room.

  "I knew it," Carlotta says.

  "Carlotta," Giovanni scolds. "Don't go matchmaking."

  She just laughs. "Oh, Gio, my love, don't you see? I don't even have to." She looks at me and laughs again. Carlotta places her hands on my cheeks. "You're perfect for her and she for you. Glorious," she announces and kisses my cheek.

  Giovanni shakes his head and I feel… calm. I'd expect panic having Carlotta Russo tell me that Sera really is it for me, that there's no doubt of who I'm meant to be with. But there's none of it. Only acceptance and peace.

  One day Serafina Manzini will be mine. I'm looking forward to that day.

  Chapter Five

  Jesse

  Two years in the past…

  "Did you hear that, dude?" Xander asks for the third time. Apparently, no matter how hard I try to ignore him, the fucker's not going away.

  I let out a groan and roll over, my hungover brain starting to pound.

  "Hear what?"

  "Ethan's chick just puked all over his bunk," Xander tells me.

  "Not my problem. Where's Jerry? He's the fucking tour manager," I growl as my stomach churns.

  "You fired him. Again. But he's on it," Xander tells me with a scoff. "I just thought you might want to know shit's gotten out of control man. Things need to change."

  "Fuck," I mutter, sitting up, resting my feet on the floor, and fighting back the nausea. Hangovers are a bitch. I run my hands through my hair. "I know, I know."

  "Either we get this shit straightened up or I'm walking after this tour."

  I look at Xander, shock running through me. Never, in all the time I've known Xander, have I seen that look on his face.

  "You were partying right along with us last night," I remind him.

  He nods. "True that, but the chick I banged last night knew when to leave. You all need to remember the fucking rules." He pointedly looks at the occupied space next to me in my bed.

  "I was so fucked up. I fucked her and barely got the condom in the trash before I passed out. I told her before we came in it was a fuck-and-run type thing."

  "Then what's she still doing here?" Xander asks.

  "Fuck, I just told you, Xan!" I shout, getting pissed. "I fucking passed out, all right? I needed a night off from playing everyone's fucking daddy."

  "Except hers, right?" Xander sneers.

  "Fuck you, man. You step up and take the lead if you don't like the way I'm handling things."

  "Nah," he says. "I volunteered, remember? When we first formed the band. And you wanted it, so motherfucker you've got it. Start acting like our fucking leader and lead. These guys are losing it. They're gonna need rehab before
long. Fuck, man, Ben was snorting lines with Lucian last night."

  "I hate that fucker."

  Xander shakes his head. "It's not on Lucian. He didn't force Ben to do any of that bullshit. He knows we don't normally do the hard stuff. Period. Alcohol and occasional weed, yeah—coke, crack, meth? Fuck no. So this is on your bro and you need to step the fuck up before it gets worse. We're going to be touring with these pricks for another three weeks, and either everyone cleans up their shit and remembers the rules we put in place for this very fucking reason, or I'm done."

  I just stare at him.

  "I mean it man."

  "Yeah, I hear you. I hear you," I mutter and scrub my hands over my face. When did things get so out of control? We've been out on four different tours and nothing like this has ever happened before. Nowhere even close.

  Xander closes the door behind him and I blow out a breath. Things are so fucked right now. Everyone's spiraling. Fuck.

  The chick from last night rolls over onto her stomach.

  Fuck it.

  I grab a condom, fist my cock until it's hard, and slip it on. I don't bother with preparation or pretenses. She knows how it works and she stayed past her welcome, so now I’m gonna fuck her to blow off some steam and when I blow my load, she's gone.

  I lift her hips and slam right into her. She groans and says something I can't make out.

  "No talking," I tell her as I pound into her hard and fast, using her body that she's made available to me for just this purpose.

  When she starts pushing back to meet my thrusts, I slam harder, feeling the burn of my orgasm coming on fast.

  "Clench your pussy," I order and she does. Nice and tight now and I'm gonna blow. Faster, harder, and then I start to come, groaning as the tension in my body from all the fucked up shit going on in my life releases. Yeah, I think as I release another spurt of cum, this is exactly what I needed.

  When I'm done, I pull out and toss the condom in the trash.

  "You could've at least waited until I came," she whines.

  "Why would I want to do that? You overstayed your welcome. Get dressed and get out," I tell her flatly as I pull on my boxers and jeans.

  "You're an asshole."

  I nod. "I never said otherwise."

  "I thought since you let me stay the night, you'd—"

  "Whoa, whoa. Back up," I begin. "I didn't let you stay the night. I fucking passed out and you didn't leave like I told you to."

  "You know we were good together," she coos.

  I want to laugh. "Listen. You wanted to fuck me, you got that. You didn't listen and leave so I took my bonus. It's done, it's over. Get the fuck out."

  "Don't you want my number?" she asks, pulling on her shoes.

  "Nah."

  "But it was so good."

  "For you."

  "What?" she asks, her eyes wide with surprise.

  "It was good for you. For me it was just all right." I shrug.

  "You really are an asshole."

  "Yep," I say, rocking back on my heels, hands in the front pockets of my jeans.

  She grabs her purse. "Next time—"

  I shake my head. "Nope. See ya."

  I can all-but see the steam rising out of her ears. She stomps on her cheap knock-off heels. Not sure what I'd been thinking with that one.

  I scratch my chest. Oh yeah. She blew me at the after party. At least her mouth had good suction. Her pussy was used and abused, but it served its purpose.

  I grab a shirt from the pile of clothes in the corner and sniff it. Not too bad. I slip it over my head and walk into the main part of the bus. Jerry's standing there looking severely pissed off and I can't blame the guy. We're a fucking wreck right now. I just hope I can figure out a way to get us all back on track before it's too late—if it isn't already.

  Chapter Six

  Xander

  Past

  I see the chick Jesse banged last night come stomping out of the bedroom and smirk. She walks past, muttering what a fucking asshole Jesse is. I take a drink of my Coke. Little does she know, we're all assholes like that. She violated the rules. She knew them, as they all do when they step on board this bus or in any of the hotel rooms. No sleepovers. Fuck and get out.

  It's obvious Jesse didn't want her there, but Ethan. He's another story. He's been letting them stay so he can get one last nut off in the morning before we travel for a couple days to the next city. That'd be cool, but the chicks he's been bringing back have been totally fucked up. Drugs and alcohol. It's just a clusterfuck and I'm sick of it.

  I get my piece of ass and send the chick on her way. She uses me, I use her, we both walk away happy. Letting them hang out overnight leads them to thinking they can stay even longer than that. No fucking way.

  Ethan stumbles out around the same time as Jesse comes out of the bathroom.

  "Dude," Jesse mutters. "You clean that shit up. It's on you. Not me, not Jerry. You bring your bitches back here and let them stay. You know that's not how it works."

  "Fuck you, man. I saw yours leaving just now," Ethan scoffs.

  "I fucking passed out and she didn't leave like I told her to. You know I never have chicks stay."

  Ethan smirks. "Yeah, I know the golden rules." His voice is riddled with sarcasm and Jesse steps closer to him.

  "I don't know what the fuck is up with you lately, but either you straighten your shit out, or Xander here is walking and I'm going right along with him," Jesse tells him, and I'm barely able to contain my shock. Holy fuck. Jesse leaving the band?

  "What the fuck is going on out here?" Ben mutters, looking like death warmed over. His face pale, dark circles around his eyes. He's lost weight. I sneer. Fucking drugs.

  "And you!" Jesse shouts. "What the fuck? Snorting coke with fucking Lucian? Have you lost your god damn mind?"

  Ben rolls his eyes. "Fuck off, Jesse. It was only a couple times."

  "Only a couple times," Jesse mutters, hands on his hips, eyes on the floor. He nods his head then lifts it to meet Ben's gaze. "Well brother, any more times and you're going to be up on that stage on your own. I'm done."

  "What are you talking about?" Ben asks, standing statue still.

  Kennedy comes wandering out of the back, already dressed and showered, his notebook in one hand, guitar in the other. He heads over to the chair across from me and raises a brow.

  I just shake my head and take a swig of my Coke.

  "Listen, guys," Jerry begins, only to be cut off by Jesse.

  "I'm done listening, Jer. You've done a hell of a job and there's no one better for this band than you, but either these guys straighten up and follow the code we swore we always would, or I'm done. Xander already told me he's ready to walk too."

  "Are you fucking serious?" Ben shouts.

  "As a heart attack," I reply. "I'm tired of Ethan's fucking messes. I won't watch you get all hopped up on drugs and turn into the one thing Ethan and Kennedy don't need to be around. You do remember that, right?" I ask and Ben looks away. "You remember what they grew up with, Ben. What the hell are you doing?"

  "Fuck!" he shouts, and slams a fist into the door of the bathroom. No one moves. Of all of us, Ben's the one who contains his anger best and he's losing it.

  "You doing drugs, man?" Ethan asks.

  Ben nods.

  "You know what happens with drugs. It starts out as a couple times and ends up being where you can't stop," Kennedy reminds him while he strums his guitar. It's the one way Kennedy's always dealt with anxiety, anger, and stress—music. Well, that and sex.

  "I know," Ben mutters, running a hand through his hair.

  "So what the fuck?" Jesse asks.

  "Christ, Jesse, I don't know. Everything's just been so fucking much lately. The shows are fucking packed. Pussy everywhere I turn. Alcohol. Drugs. I've been doing so much of everything, why not that too?"

  "Fuck, Ben. I get it's chaos," Jesse begins. "It's really fucking crazy right now, but we've only got three more weeks then we're done f
or a while."

  "It's been a really long fucking tour," Ethan admits, grabbing a bottle of juice from the fridge.

  "It sure as hell has," I tell them with a nod. "But that doesn't mean Ben can try to bury himself in drugs and you in random pussy like you have been."

  "You're a fine one to be talking about random pussy," Ethan replies, his defenses up.

  "I know it, but I don't break the rules. I fuck and they are gone."

  Jesse sits down. "The rules are there for a reason. Remember when we made them? We didn't want to become those god damn clichéd rock groups with members hooked on drugs," he says pointedly to Ben, "and we sure as fuck don't want strange chicks on board the bus longer than it takes to get your rocks off because sure as shit they'll find something or hear something they weren't supposed to and sell that shit to the highest bidder."

  "God damn right they will," Kennedy chimes in. "We've worked too hard to keep our lives private to let that bullshit happen. I'm with Xander and Jesse. You two straighten up or I'm done, too."

  I nod at him.

  Ben leans forward, elbows on his knees, running his hands through his hair, while Ethan leans back, looking up at the ceiling.

  I sigh. "I know we need a break and we've got a short one coming up in St. Louis. We're there for three days and only playing one show. Time away from Lucian and the rest of Burners might be a good idea."

  Both Ethan and Ben nod.

  Ah yeah. Just as I thought. Lucian taking the chicks with them from one city to the next, fucking them the whole time we travel, then dumping them off with some cash and a one-way ticket home is what Ethan sees.

  "I know as well as you do it's fucking lonely as hell out here on the road. At least we've got our regular hook-ups in L.A." Jesse begins with a nod. "I get it. But having a chick on board who can fucking destroy what we've worked too hard to maintain so you can get your piece of ass when you want it, isn't worth it."

  "Especially when we all know it won't fill that need anyway," I say, and they all look at me. "You'll still walk away empty."

  "Yeah," Ethan agrees.