Fear of Falling

  “Never.”

  I ran my hand through my tousled bedhead without thinking, earning an eye roll from her. “Well,” I smiled, “glad I could be your first.”

  Kami shook her head before climbing out of bed and crossing the room to the bathroom. She turned back to look at me before reaching the doorframe. “Well, why don’t you and your sexy head of hair go make some coffee? Since this is the first time,” she rolled her eyes again, “I should warn you: I am a bitch on wheels without my coffee.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I grinned, rolling out of bed.

  Kami giggled as she entered the bathroom, causing the smile on my face to widen even more. “Ugh! You southern boys with your perfect manners! Kill me now!”

  I popped into a hall bathroom to freshen up before heading to the kitchen in search of steaming hot ground goodness. They had one of those fancy machines that made one cup at a time. I had no fucking clue how to work one, but after tinkering with it and finding the little cups of assorted coffees, I finally figured it out. Kami walked in just as the first cup had finished brewing.

  “I made you French Vanilla,” I said, handing her the hot, steaming mug. “You guys have so many different flavors, and I didn’t know which one you’d like. I figured it was safe.”

  Kami took the cup in her hands and took a sip without the use of cream or sugar. “Oh, so you thought I looked like a vanilla type of girl?”

  I had to turn away from the task of trying to brew my own cup to assess her face. I didn’t know if I had offended her or not, but the sweet smile on her face told me she was just teasing me. “I don’t know, Kami. Do you like vanilla?”

  She shrugged, then took another sip. “It’s great sometimes; vanilla can be really good when it’s done right. But I like it a bit bolder. Stronger.”

  I had to grasp the edge of the counter to keep from splaying her body across the breakfast bar and covering her with my mouth. Shit. There was no way we were still talking about coffee. The evidence was right there in her pink cheeks. Kami was flirting with me. And if she wasn’t careful, she would see just how bold and strong I could be.

  Still blushing, Kami broke eye contact and set her mug down. I took the opportunity to finish making my cup of coffee, taking it black as well.

  “Are you hungry?” she asked, making her way to the refrigerator. “I can make you breakfast.”

  I sipped my hot brew and contemplated her question. Oh, I was hungry alright, but not for eggs and bacon. The way I was feeling at the moment, I was ready to make Kami my breakfast, and I didn’t have enough time to fully savor her.

  “No, thanks. I actually have to get going. CJ will be by to pick me up soon. I texted him earlier.”

  Her face instantly dropped though she caught it quickly, slipping on a manufactured smile. “Oh? Big plans today?”

  “I don’t know. That depends, Kami,” I shrugged.

  “Depends on what?”

  “Whether or not you can be ready by 6.”

  I set my cup on the counter and walked over to her at the refrigerator. I eased the door closed and propped an arm over her head, gently pushing her back against it. “I have to go by the bar, but I want to take you out later. I know it’s your day off so I understand if you have plans already. But if not, I want to spend the evening with you. Will you let me?”

  I looked down at her big green eyes, our faces mere inches from touching. I needed to kiss her. So. Fucking. Bad. But not now. Not like this. I needed to make her believe that she needed to kiss me too. I needed to prove I was worthy of her lips.

  The sounds of the front door opening and closing startled us, and I went back to where I had left my coffee. Not because I was scared or embarrassed, but because the ball was now in her court.

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I can be ready.”

  Dominic entered just as a relieved smile crept onto my face.

  “Holy shit, what a night!” he exclaimed. Once his eyes fell on me, still shirtless and barefoot, his smile quickly faded, and he froze. His wide, almost angry, expression whipped to Kami, her back still flush against the fridge.

  “Kam, what’s going on?” he asked her, though it sounded like he was asking her if she was ok.

  Kami’s eyes met mine, and I took that as my cue to exit, downing my coffee and placing the cup in the sink.

  “Hey, I’m gonna grab my stuff and wait for CJ downstairs. He should be here any minute.”

  I walked over to Kami and slowly let my hand brush her cheek. I wanted to do so much more, but I didn’t need an audience.

  “I’ll see you at 6,” I said quietly, still aware of Dom’s questioning gaze. Then I let my thumb graze her bottom lip before forcing myself to pull away.

  “Dom,” I nodded as I passed him. He still looked confused, his eyes darting between Kami and me. I knew she was about to receive an earful, and I desperately wanted to save her from it. I heard the hushed interrogation before I even made it to Kami’s room.

  I slipped on my dirty t-shirt and shoes and was just about to head out of the front door when Dom stopped me.

  “Hey man, wait up,” he said, jogging towards me. “I’ll walk you down.”

  Ah, I knew where this was going. Though the whole “What are your intentions” conversation was usually reserved for fathers and big brothers, I could respect Dom for looking out for Kami. I could tell he really cared for her.

  “Kam told me what happened last night,” he began as we made our way down the hall to the elevator. “Thank you. Seriously. I should’ve been there. I should’ve brought my ass home last night. Fuck! Dude, thank you for helping her. I owe you.”

  I shook my head. “You don’t owe me anything. I was just glad I was there in time before…shit. I’m just glad I stopped that fucker in time.” I felt my fists tighten at my sides and my face flame with rage.

  “She also said you stayed with her. To make sure she was ok.” Dom cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “She said nothing happened.”

  “Yeah, and?”

  “It’s just…even though nothing’s happened yet, I see how you look at her. And how she looks at you. And I just want you to know… Kami is special. She’s unlike any chick you’ve probably ever dealt with. And because of how special she is, she needs to be treated delicately.”

  “Ok…?” What the hell was he trying to get at? I knew Kami was special, but he was making her sound special in a totally different way, as if she was disabled or slow.

  “Bottom line, she needs a lot of patience and understanding. She needs someone that can protect her, mostly from herself. And if you’re not that type of dude, walk away now. I won’t judge you; I won’t be upset. Don’t show up for your date tonight. I can even cover for you or something. Just get out now, and don’t look back.”

  I frowned with disgust, furious at his words. “What the fuck… Do you have this talk with every guy she dates?”

  Even after seeing the violent expression on my face, Dom chuckled and shook his head. “Only with ones she actually likes.”

  “Hmph,” I snorted. “And is she ok with this shit?”

  “Wouldn’t know,” he shrugged. “You’re the first.”

  His words cooled the anger I felt just moments before.

  I was the first.

  I wasn’t just imagining it; Kami had feelings for me. Feelings as real as the ones that had kept me up at night for the past month, picturing those bright green eyes and pouty lips. Feelings that I needed to explore. We needed to explore.

  “Let her know I’ll be back at 6. And tell her to dress comfortably.”

  I stepped onto the elevator, the doors sliding closed on Dominic’s nod of acceptance. I already knew Kami was special. I knew she was unlike anyone I had ever met since the day she came into Dive, blinking away tears and in search of an escape. I knew she was running then. And thankfully, she had run straight to me. And I was hell-bent on making it so she never felt the need to run again.

  “You’re nervous.”


  I looked at Angel lounging on my bed like the princess she claimed to be and rolled my eyes. “You think?”

  “Mmm hmm,” she remarked, her eyes glued to a gossip magazine. It was a good thing too; she couldn’t see me flipping her off.

  “Maybe this is a mistake. I said I wouldn’t get involved with coworkers again. I need to call and cancel. I should cancel, right? Oh, holy fuck, what am I doing?” I rambled, wringing my hands in front of me. The room shifted before my eyes, throwing off my equilibrium. A panic attack was on the horizon.

  “Calm down and breathe, Kam,” she gently admonished, tossing her magazine to the side. “It’ll be fine. Blaine is a gentleman. You’ll be fine.”

  “She still freaking out?” Dom asked as he entered my bedroom. He flopped down next to Angel.

  “I am not freaking out,” I insisted, crossing my arms in front of me. “And don’t think I’m speaking to you again. First, you totally blow up my spot last week at my job, and now you’re having secret pow-wows with Blaine? Not cool, dude.”

  Dom let out a heavy sigh and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I explained and apologized for last week, Kam. I just…I don’t know. Got caught up in stupid guy talk. I’m not used to being around other people outside of you two. For once, I wasn’t caught in a huge estrogen fest and I lost my head. Shit, you know I’m sorry.”

  “That doesn’t explain your little talk with Blaine earlier,” Angel chimed in, earning a hard glare from Dom that screamed, “Mind your own damn business.”

  “Just go into this with an open mind,” Dom said, successfully changing the subject. He knew he couldn’t win with us. “Don’t feel like you have to rush into anything.”

  “Ok,” I nodded, smoothing my jean skirt over my hips. “How do I look?”

  “He said dress comfortably,” Dom remarked, taking in my skirt, sheer, flouncy top and flats.

  “This is comfortable! It’s hot as a witch’s tit outside!”

  “Oh hell,” Dom shook his head. “Angel is rubbing off on you.”

  “Damn right!” Angel exclaimed.

  As we laughed off the tension, a buzz from the intercom caused the nerves to return with a vengeance. Angel flitted to the door, giving Blaine clearance to come up. I felt like I would break out into hives.

  “Damn, girl,” Dom chuckled, climbing to his feet. “You act like he’s going to steal your virtue or something!” He crooked an elbow out for me to lace my arm through. “Come on, you’ll be fine, Kam. You deserve…this.”

  “This?”

  “The normal dating thing. You deserve to be swept off your feet. The flowers and candy. You deserve to be happy, Kam.”

  I looked up at my best friend, the man who had been closer to me than family. The only man I had ever truly trusted. “You too, Dom,” I whispered, my eyes shining with unshed tears. “You deserve that, too.”

  “Eh,” he shrugged with a grin. “One day. But no time soon. Too many chicks out there with low self-esteem and even lower morals.”

  I gave him a light punch with my other hand and shook my head. “Oh Dirty Dom, what am I gonna do with you?”

  “I can think of a few things, but right now, you’ve got a guy waiting to take you out on a date. And if you don’t get out there soon, I’m sure Angel will start spilling stories of drunken girl’s nights involving tequila and dildos.”

  My eyes grew wide with shock and alarm at the sound of Blaine’s deep laugh from the foyer. Yeah, Angel would totally give him an earful.

  On shaky legs, I let Dom lead me out to the living room where Blaine stood with Angel, his back facing us. As if sensing our approach, he turned and my breath caught in my throat at the sight of him. Even though he wore a simple short-sleeved button up and jeans, his good looks still managed to disarm me. He was a rare, captivating work of sculpted art.

  “Hey,” Blaine breathed, as we were just inches from each other.

  I unhooked my arm from Dom’s and folded my hands in front of me, unsure of what to do with them. Part of me wanted to stretch on my tiptoes and give him a peck on the cheek, which is what I would usually do while going through the motions of a “date.” But this was unlike any of those times because Blaine was different from any man I had ever known. And the way I felt about him was just as foreign to me.

  “Why does this feel like prom?” Angel asked, breaking the ice.

  Blaine barked out a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know. Should I have brought you a corsage?”

  I looked up into his warm brown eyes, reflexively smiling at the sight. “I don’t know. Are you gonna try to spike my punch and feel me up in the back seat of your family’s station wagon?”

  “Maybe,” he winked.

  We escaped my roommates’ awkward questions and made our way down to Blaine’s truck. Turned out, truck was an understatement. He drove a beast.

  “Huh,” I nearly snorted as we approached. “I hate to say it, but you surely live up to the stereotype.”

  “What?” he asked sheepishly.

  I waved my hand in the direction of the gleaming black F-150 before me. “Southern guy with a big ass monster truck? If you have a camouflage cap in there, I’m going back upstairs.”

  Blaine laughed, shaking his head, as he opened the passenger side door. “No, sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t. Looks like you’re stuck with me for the evening.”

  Before I could respond, his hands had wrapped around my waist, and he was lifting me up into the truck effortlessly. I let out a little yip out of shock although I felt completely safe and secure with his hands on me. He even reached over and buckled me in, letting his incredible scent wash over me, as his mussed hair tickled my face. I should have known at that very moment that my fate was sealed.

  “So where to?” I asked after he had climbed into his own seat and revved the car to life.

  Blaine smiled that boyish grin that made even the most ornery woman forget her name. I imagined the countless pairs of panties that must have dropped instantaneously from that smile alone.

  “I have to feed you before I put you to work.”

  “Put me to work?” I asked with mock offense.

  Blaine winked a chocolate-brown eye, and I swear my heart stuttered. “You’ll see.”

  Fifteen minutes later, we pulled up to a small diner in a rundown neighborhood. The parking lot was packed with cars, and I could hear at least five different types of music blasting from various stereo systems. The restaurant was old, nondescript, and reminded me of a hole-in-the-wall place with a chef that everyone called Cookie. I looked to Blaine with a raised brow. If this was the famous Blaine Jacobs persuasion, then he was extremely misguided and overly confident.

  “Keep an open mind. I’ve got you; I promise,” he smiled, his brown eyes smoldering under the dimming sunlight.

  He jumped out of the truck and came over to open my door, nearly picking me up out of my seat. Then he laced his fingers through mine as he led me into the diner. It was packed, and I could feel the panic rising in my gut. There were so many people…so many eyes suddenly on us. The only thing that kept me from falling apart was the fact that every table was filled. I knew we wouldn’t get a table and would hopefully leave. Thank baby Jesus for small miracles.

  Heads turned instantly, and I heard quite a few people greet Blaine by name, including a tiny grey-haired lady behind the counter. She had a sweet face—one that reminded you of your grandma. Her eyes lit up when she saw Blaine and she flashed us a comforting smile.

  “Hey sugar, you all go ahead on to your table. Mavis will be by with some sweet tea shortly, ok?” Her southern accent was thicker than Blaine’s, as if she had lived in the area her entire life. For some reason, it warmed my soul.

  Blaine led me to a small table towards the back, greeting what I assumed were regulars the entire way. They all seemed to know him well, especially the female patrons.

  “I take it you come here often,” I remarked once we took our seats.

&nbs
p; “Yeah. I actually used to live a block away. My family and I came here all the time.”

  I nodded, picking up the plastic menu. “So what’s good here?” I peered over the menu, noticing that Blaine hadn’t even picked his up yet. He must have known it by heart.

  “Everything, really. But the waffles are the best you will ever taste in your life. And it just so happens that we’re here for breakfast.”

  “Breakfast?” I asked, giving him a confused glare. “Um, you do realize that it’s nighttime, right?”

  “True. But nobody does waffles like Ms. Patty. And you told me the first time I asked you out for breakfast that we’d have to do it some other time. And then I couldn’t stay for it this morning. So yes, breakfast is in order. We owe it to each other.”

  I put my menu on the table and narrowed my eyes. “And what if I don’t want breakfast?”

  Blaine grinned but didn’t get a chance to answer before a stocky-built young woman wearing an apron came by with glasses of iced tea.

  “Hey baby, been a while since we seen you ‘round here,” she said to Blaine. He smiled at her politely then nodded towards me.

  “Mavis, this is Kami. Kami, this is Mavis. Her family runs this old broken down joint.”

  Mavis flashed me a smile before smacking Blaine on the shoulder. “Hey now! If Mama hears you bad-mouthing her establishment, she’s liable to send you back to wash dishes. Don’t think you are above some real hard work, Blaine Jacobs. I knew you when you didn’t have two nickels to rub together,” she jibed.

  We all chuckled before Mavis turned her attention towards me. “Well, you two get back to your date. Mama will be by for your order. It was nice meeting you, Kami. And Blaine, try to stay outta trouble, ya hear? And you still owe me a bike.” Then she sashayed over to a table of rowdy teens.

  “A bike?” I asked once we were alone.

  Blaine shrugged. “She’s adamant that I stole her bike and rode it into a ditch when we were eight. It was actually CJ that did it, but I never ratted him out,” he winked.

  “Hmph. Interesting.” I picked up the menu and began scanning it again.