Twisted Heart

  Conner rises from the lake in the distance. He is in my garden, young and full of life again with a chipped-tooth smile.

  ‘How did you die?’ I ask.

  ‘They killed me. You know it’s true.’

  He is risen from the grey water, free of the decaying death-pews and the shards of coloured glass, surrounded by light.

  ‘Not your heart?’ I repeat.

  ‘The New Dawn people – they saw I was like you, Tania – psychic and on the side of the angels of light. They discovered that I’d been sent to spy on them. They were many. I was one.’

  I shudder and shake with fear, scared of my dark angel’s thirst for revenge, certain he will soon do to me what he did to Conner. ‘Who did it?’ I whisper. I fear hearing his answer as he opens his mouth to speak. ’No, don’t say the name – not until I’m ready!’

  ‘Not who you think.’ Conner waits for me to grow calm again. ‘I was in the lake, swimming strongly with other triathletes all around. One dived below the surface, caught me by the leg, dragged me down.’

  ‘Not Jarrold?’ I whisper.

  ‘Listen. This dark soul drags me down. He strikes me with a sharp stone, a flint from the pebble beach.’

  ‘Who? Who struck the blow?’

  Conner’s voice is soft. He sounds like Maia, like Zenaida. They are all one angel of light.

  ‘The guy who stands at the right hand of your dark angel,’ he murmurs. ‘His name is Channing, dealer in death.’

  To my certain knowledge Channing had now killed two people – Aaron and Conner.

  I am not alone. I am not alone. Pacing to and fro in my snowy, fenced garden I repeated the simple phrase like a mantra, and when Orlando finally said goodbye to Mr Baker and came to find me, I was sloughing off my fear and moving on.

  ‘Look at this.’ I showed Orlando a recent text message from Aurelie.

  ‘Please come,’ it read. ‘Papa and Jean-Luc are arguing. JL needs your help.’

  ‘Isn’t this the day he leaves?’ Orlando asked with a deep frown creasing his forehead. ‘Text her back. Tell her no.’

  The force of his reaction rocked me back on my heels. ‘I don’t get it,’ I complained. ‘Don’t you see – this could be a way in for us to contact Holly again!’

  ‘We tried once and look what happened.’ He told it like it was – no frills. His stubborn expression told me he was not going back to New Dawn.

  ‘So we give up on her?’

  Orlando glared back at me. ‘How many people besides Aaron have to die rescuing her?’

  ‘No one. Not if we get this right.’ I gathered every ounce of energy to convince him that we shouldn’t and wouldn’t run away. ‘We almost got Holly out of there last night. Until the tragedy with Aaron happened, we had a good chance. And this message has come out of the blue – Aurelie contacting me and asking for my help. It’s like another door has suddenly opened. So I vote we say yes, we don’t give any sign that we know who Antony Amos is or what he’s trying to do to Holly.’

  ‘And to you,’ Orlando reminded me. ‘You’re his main target, Tania. You’re convinced he wants to punish you. So what am I supposed to say – yeah, go right in there, girl, and put your own head on the block?’

  ‘I won’t. I’ll take care. Honestly, I’ve come this far and I can’t turn back.’

  I waited for an age for Orlando to back down. He was studying me, thinking it through from every angle, realizing that he couldn’t argue me out of this. ‘OK, text Aurelie. Ask her how she thinks you can help.’

  ‘Cool.’ Fumbling with my phone, I typed in the message.

  Straight away I received a reply. ‘The fight is about Aaron. JL needs you as a witness.’

  Again, Orlando took a long time to work it through. ‘So you go and you give Amos the facts – Aaron wasn’t drunk, Channing set up the whole thing.’

  ‘And I do it in front of Jean-Luc and Aurelie. They’re people who can spread the truth and speak up for Aaron. At least, Jean-Luc will be able to.’

  I was already grabbing my car keys and Orlando saw that there was nothing else left to say or do. ‘I’ll come with you,’ he decided suddenly, reaching the door before I did. We’ll go in my truck.’

  Tilting back my head, I gave a big sigh of relief. ‘Thank you!’ I mouthed and I kissed him.

  I am not alone! The mantra whizzed round and round inside my head.

  ‘So you’ll go searching for Holly, find out what kind of shape she’s in while I look as if I’m sorting out the fight between Amos and Jean-Luc?’

  ‘Deal,’ he said reluctantly through gritted teeth, climbing into the knight-in-shining-armour truck and switching on the engine.

  Our plan was agreed. We drove down Becker Hill and through town, out towards the lake. Fresh snow and a blue sky made the whole place look like a scene from a Christmas card, easing our tension and making us exclaim over the beauty of the pine tree branches weighted down by snow, pointing out the drifts piled up two or three metres at each side of the road. Eventually, nerves tightening again, we drove off the highway and along the track to New Dawn until we came to a snow drift that totally blocked the route.

  ‘So now we walk,’ I decided before Orlando could change his mind.

  We got out of the truck, skirted the snow drift and headed on until the first buildings of the New Dawn Community came into view between the trees.

  ‘And now we split up,’ I insisted. If Orlando wanted to find Holly, he had to do it in secret and it had to look like I’d come alone.

  ‘If you need me, use your phone,’ he muttered, kissing me quickly and warning me to take care of myself before striking out up the hill to our left, heading for a stand of pines overlooking the lake.

  As I watched him go, I longed to change my mind. ‘Come back!’ I almost called.

  Give me the courage to stand fast in a blizzard, not to turn from my dark angel. Seize him, grab him, fight him down.

  And I knew with total, unbending certainty in the core of me that I couldn’t run away from this – I just couldn’t.

  So I waited until Orlando disappeared under the trees then I set off, keeping to low ground by the lake and texting Aurelie as I went.

  ‘Am arriving on foot. Where are you?’

  ‘Come to Trail’s End.’

  I walked up the hill as fast as I could, though the deep snow slowed me down. Approaching Amos’s cabin, I saw other footsteps trampled into the drifts and heard voices through the open door.

  ‘Why did you tell Richard to call in the search parties?’ Jean-Luc demanded. ‘They should be out there, looking until we find him!’

  ‘There’s no point.’ Amos reacted to his stepson’s raised voice by sounding steady and calm. It was obvious that this was the way the power balance had always been – Jean-Luc’s passion and rebellion versus Amos’s stone-walling rationality.

  ‘Don’t you care how this will look to the outside world?’ Jean-Luc demanded. ‘We throw a party and someone dies. We spend less than twenty-four hours looking for the body.’

  ‘It’s over,’ Amos insisted. ‘We’ll let the cops do their thing as soon as they can reach us.’

  ‘Yeah, you’ll get them crawling all over this one, I warn you.’

  ‘I know it. Plus rescue helicopters, divers – the works.’ As he spoke, Amos came out on to the porch and spotted me. He wore a thick blue woollen jacket over the white costume from the previous night – a sign that he hadn’t slept. Likewise Aurelie, who came out after her stepfather.

  ‘Tania, thank you for coming,’ she said, her tired face brightening. ‘Papa, Tania has all the answers to last night. She can settle this fight between you and Jean-Luc.’

  Stepping down from the porch, she kissed me on both cheeks then smiled. ‘It would break my heart for Jean-Luc to leave New Dawn in anger and never come back.’

  ‘I’ll do what I can,’ I told her, feeling the tension between the two guys and stepping into the cabin to find Jean-Luc standing beside the bro
nze horse statue, hands in pockets, his lip curled into a surly expression that didn’t alter as I walked in.

  As peacemaker, Aurelie drew her stepfather in from the porch. ‘The question is – what shape was Aaron in?’ she stated. ‘Richard has evidence from Blake and a few other Explorers that he was drinking heavily.’

  ‘No.’ I cut in straight away; spoke louder than I’d intended.

  Amos looked at me sharply. ‘Stop and think, Tania,’ he warned. ‘This is important. It’s likely to be a major factor in any investigation.’

  I nodded. ‘That’s why I’m here. I already told Jean-Luc that Aaron never drank alcohol.’

  ‘And I gave you the facts exactly as Tania told them,’ Jean-Luc said angrily to his stepfather. ‘But who do you believe – Ziegler or me?’

  ‘Channing swears he grabbed the remains of a six-pack from the guy seconds before he fell into the water,’ Amos insisted. ‘The kid was so drunk he could hardly stand.’

  ‘Not true,’ I said, feeling my pulse race and the anger steadily rising at the way Channing had altered the facts.

  ‘Which is why we have to carry on searching,’ Jean-Luc pointed out. ‘If we find the body they can test for alcohol in the blood.’

  Again Aurelie tried to calm the situation. ‘So, Tania, tell Papa again – you’re one hundred per cent certain Aaron wasn’t drinking?’

  ‘Stone-cold sober,’ I muttered. Jean-Luc’s talk about blood tests had made me shudder but I measured my words carefully and watched for Amos’s reaction. ‘Aaron’s only motive in being at the party last night was to talk to Holly, which he finally managed to do down by the lake.’

  As Amos pursed his lips and frowned, Jean-Luc raised his hand then slapped it down on the table, making the statue shake. ‘What did I tell you!’ he exclaimed. ‘Who do you believe now – me and Tania or your precious Ziegler; he who can do no wrong?’

  Amos’s temper snapped and he stepped angrily towards Jean-Luc then changed his mind. Without saying a word he turned on his heel and disappeared into his cinema room, slamming the door after him. This was the first time I’d seen the great man thrown off balance and it left me with a queasy feeling in my stomach.

  ‘Jean-Luc …’ Aurelie began.

  He pushed her to one side, went out on to the porch. ‘Don’t ask me to apologize,’ he said over his shoulder.

  ‘Before you go – please!’

  But he didn’t listen. Instead, he strode off through the snow.

  There were tears in Aurelie’s eyes. ‘I’m sorry,’ she told me. ‘None of us is handling this well. The boy drowned – it’s painful. It reminds us of my mother.’

  Right there and then, in a sudden flash, a picture slammed into my brain and shunted me to a different world.

  I see the over-laden ferry wallowing in a blue ocean, the sun burning down. Water seeps in through leaking portholes, someone raises the alarm. The engine churns heavily and the boat turns slowly, clumsily for the shore. There is a gut-wrenching smell of diesel. Passengers rush to the deck from the hold below. A dark-skinned woman in a yellow sari is crushed with a dozen others on a metal stairway. She hands her small child to a middle-aged woman in a white linen shirt who is two steps above her. The woman struggles to carry the child towards the square of light above their heads. Water is rushing in, filling the dark hold. It rises up the metal stairway. The boat tilts to an angle of forty-five degrees.

  People reach down from the deck, they stretch out their hands. As the water rises to her waist, the woman in white passes the child to safety. Then a man behind her drags her back in his own effort to climb the stairs. She falls under the oily surface without a sound.

  The boat tilts, the sea rises.

  ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything to help,’ I told a weeping Aurelie. I was sure my vision was true and was shocked that Juliet Amos had died trying to save a child from drowning.

  ‘This time Jean-Luc won’t forgive Papa,’ she cried. ‘There have been too many arguments, too much bad blood between them.’

  ‘Richard Ziegler holds a lot of power here,’ I suggested. ‘That’s a big problem for your brother.’

  ‘Yes, ever since Richard was sent here by the court, Papa has seen something in him that he liked – a quality of leadership that my brother doesn’t possess. Jean-Luc was always jealous.’

  ‘So shall I go after him?’ I asked. Jean-Luc was making for his own cabin on the lake shore, getting ready no doubt to pick up his bags and drive to the airport as soon as the grader went out to clear snow from the track.

  Aurelie wiped her tears then nodded and headed for the cinema room. ‘I’ll talk to Papa. Good luck, Tania!’

  As I set off on my mission to reconcile the warring siblings, I took out my phone to check in with Orlando as I went. ‘Jeez!’ I sighed when I saw that I’d lost signal. ‘I only hope you’re doing better than me!’

  I was rushing along a trail beside the frozen lake, hoping that he’d found Holly and not paying attention to my surroundings when Jarrold did his speciality thing of appearing out of nowhere.

  He stepped out from behind a three-metre finger of rock, right across my path. ‘It’s always great to see you, Tania, but you really shouldn’t have come,’ he warned mockingly.

  ‘What are you doing? Step out of my way!’ Feebly I tried to push past him but quickly gave up.

  ‘It’s not safe for you here,’ he muttered.

  ‘How, not safe? What do you mean?’

  I’m in the dark forest with wolves all around. I smell them – their wet fur, their stink. I expect the wolf man to appear on the ridge above our heads, and there he is – wearing a wolf skin around his shoulders, the mummified head draped back, a glittering knife at his waist. His long yellow hair blows across his narrow face, his eyes are lit with a strange amber glow.

  ‘You’re telling tales against Ziegler,’ Jarrold reminded me. ‘He’s Amos’s head honcho, remember.’

  ‘Him and Channing,’ I added. Yet again I felt overpowered by Jarrold’s physical presence, scared to death by the wolf-man vision.

  A smile played over his lips. ‘Exactly. Your version of the way Aaron died is about to meet with major opposition.’

  ‘This is so not funny. Why do you always make a joke?’

  ‘Why do you always get into places where you’re not wanted?’ he countered. ‘Why can’t you see who is your friend?’

  ‘OK, friend, do something for me!’ If I couldn’t challenge him physically, I could try to stand up to him mentally. ‘Tell me where to find Holly.’

  ‘Still on that old game?’ he sighed. ‘You don’t give up, do you?’

  ‘And last night you betrayed me.’ I stayed calm on the outside, gave him one more chance to prove whose side he was on – light or dark, good or evil. ‘I saw you talking to Ziegler right after I’d told you we’d come to take Holly back home from the party. You let him know our motive and that’s why Channing stuck to her like glue.’

  Jarrold blinked. ‘You disappoint me.’

  ‘Are you denying it?’

  ‘Totally. What I told Ziegler was the exact opposite. I tried to convince him not to worry – you and your little gang were here for the party, end of story.’

  I gave a small gasp of surprise and relief that Jarrold hadn’t played the traitor. ‘And now – what are you doing right now, jumping out from behind a rock when I’m trying fix up the situation between Amos and Jean-Luc?’

  ‘Same as you, Tania. I was on my way to Jean-Luc’s cabin. Ziegler gave me the job of driving him to the airport. I thought maybe I could be peacemaker en route, just like you.’

  ‘So let’s go,’ I said, pushing against him again and this time finding that he let me pass. He kept pace with me as I walked to Jean-Luc’s cabin.

  ‘So, Friend,’ he said, as if he was using an ironic title that I didn’t deserve. ‘Let me pass on one more small piece of information.’

  ‘Which is?’ There was so much in my brain that I was try
ing to compute, so much pressure to get to Holly before they finally dragged her to the dark side, that I didn’t feel especially interested in anything Jarrold had to say.

  ‘About Aaron,’ he said.

  I stopped in my tracks under the final stand of pinon pines before we reached the shore. Jean-Luc’s cabin was thirty metres away, the ice on the lake sparkled in bright sunlight.

  ‘You want to know why Amos and Ziegler called off the search?’

  My heart thudded, almost stopped then kick-started back into life. Finally I gave Jarrold my full attention.

  ‘Because there really wasn’t any point,’ he said.

  I didn’t speak. I didn’t understand. I waited for more.

  ‘They didn’t find a body, and you want to know why?’

  Scarcely able to nod, I held my breath.

  ‘Because there isn’t one,’ Jarrold explained with that strange half-smile.

  ‘Why not? What are you saying?’

  ‘Imagine a different scenario,’ he said, still toying with me. ‘Say things didn’t happen the way you saw them, Tania. Say Holly’s ex-boyfriend didn’t really drown in Turner Lake.’

  The ice glistened, the sun made the frozen surface sparkle like a billion tiny diamonds.

  ‘Aaron’s alive?’ I gasped. I felt an unreasonable surge of hope mixed with a sense that everything was slip-sliding out of control.

  ‘Maybe.’ Jarrold leaned close and put his lips to my ear. ‘Don’t tell anyone I told you,’ he whispered then walked on towards the glittering lake.

  17

  It felt like freefalling from a plane and plummeting down. You pull the cord and expect the chute to open. If the chute fails, you have no chance. This is how it hit me when Jarrold twisted the facts about Aaron’s death – falling without a parachute, dropping through chaos into the dark jaws of the unknown.

  He’d walked away and left me falling, gasping, grabbing onto thin air.

  He suggested things didn’t happen the way I saw them, said to use my imagination.