Melancholy

  Then he’s gone.

  And we’re alone.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  2014 - Santana

  “Come here,” Maddox says, his voice sounding like a growl even though I’m sure that’s not possible.

  “Y-y-y-you’re hurt and-”

  “Here, Santana.”

  “He s-s-s-stabbed you. T-t-t-t-twisted the knife and-”

  “Baby,” he whispers. “Here.”

  “Y-y-y-y-you had so much blood.”

  “Santana-”

  “W-w-w-we had to pay a doctor just to get you home and-”

  “Santana-”

  My wall breaks and I sob, “I thought I’d lost you.”

  His eyes soften and he reaches out a hand. “Come to me, please baby.”

  I go to him, crawling into his bed and into his arms. He wraps them around me, wincing in pain. I try to move but his arms tighten, even weak he’s so strong. His face is pressed against my head and I can hear him breathing me in. I sob and sob, shaking and croaking his name until my body is drained of tears. My trembling stops and I sink into him.

  Nurses come in and out, Mack returns and leaves, and eventually my eyelids become heavy. Before I drop off to sleep, I whisper, “I love you Maddox. Never leave me again.”

  I don’t hear his response.

  ~*~*~*~

  2014 - Maddox

  My entire body fuckin’ hurts. My bones, my skin, my insides. It’s all burning. My arm is numb, but there’s no way I’m moving the tiny, fragile form wrapped around me. It could drop off, but there’s no way she’s leaving my arms. Seein’ her break down, all those tears, the way she shook, it fuckin’ killed me. Took everything inside me not to break along with her.

  The memory of being stabbed has played over and over in my head. Pushin’ it down is proving to be harder than I imagined.

  “She asleep?”

  I turn my head to see Mack standing at the door. He looks as fuckin’ terrible as Santana does. His hair is a fuckin’ rats nest and his eyes are dark.

  “Yeah,” I say, still starin’ at him. “You okay, bro?”

  He nods, walking in. There’s emotion in his eyes, and that’s not something Mack gives away often. We’ve always been close, right from the day he came into our family. I know what me gettin’ stabbed and nearly killed would have done to him.

  “There was a second there, just a fuckin’ second...” he looks away. “When I thought I’d lost you.”

  I stare at him, a strange swelling rising in my throat that has my voice halting. Fuck. Emotion.

  “Yeah,” I rasp. “Well...you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

  He laughs hoarsely. “Nah.”

  His eyes flick to Santana and he shakes his head. “You know, that girl held herself in a way you’d be fuckin’ proud of. Not one tear, not one breakdown. Even when your body was put next to her, she didn’t lose her shit. She held on like a God damned trooper.”

  I squeeze the tiny body next to mine. “Yeah, well, she just lost it all then. I let her. Poor kid. She must be fuckin’ beside herself.”

  “She thought she’d lost you, but she never stopped tryin’ to fight for your every breath.”

  “No, don’t imagine she would have.”

  “We left a fuckin’ mess back there, boss. I don’t know how much shit we’re going to have come back at us for this.”

  There’ll be shit. A lot of it. We’ll sort it, we always do.

  “Don’t worry about that now, we’ll have a meetin’ as soon as I’m out. Figure out our next move. Those Tinmen fuckers are goin’ to pay for that set up.”

  He nods, his face tight. “Fuckin’ yeah they are.”

  Santana shifts and I grit my teeth as her elbow brushes against my broken ribs.

  “You want me to take her home?”

  I shake my head. “She needs this, leave her.”

  “She’s hurtin’ you – she won’t want that.”

  I give him a hard look. “I said leave her.”

  He nods. “Well, I’m goin’ to go home and fuckin’ sleep for ten days. Good to see you better.”

  He reaches out and I shake his hand. “Thanks. You did me fuckin’ proud out there.”

  I watch his body flinch, but he doesn’t say anything. He just flashes me the smile that never reaches his eyes, and leaves.

  I tuck Santana into my side further, pain and all, and I sleep.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  2014 - Santana

  One Week Later

  “Don’t be such a baby,” I say, waving the brush around.

  Maddox gives me a glare so hard I would usually run with my tail between my legs, but he’s an invalid right now. He’s got nothing. His hair, however, looks like it’s about to form into dreadlocks and unless he wants to let me shave it all off, he’s going to have to let me brush it.

  This isn’t going down well.

  “No fuckin’ way are you brushin’ my hair like I’m some sort of fuckin’...woman.”

  I snort. “No one is watching, no one will know. You need to brush it and you can’t lift your arm enough to do it...so it’s me or the clippers.”

  He narrows his eyes, ice blue burning into me.

  “Well...” I say, tapping my foot, waving the brush again.

  “Shave it off.”

  I roll my eyes. “No way. Your hair is super hot.”

  “Don’t wanna be super fuckin’ hot. I wanna shave it the fuck off.”

  “Stop swearing, move so I can brush it.”

  “No,” he grunts.

  He’s sitting up in the bed, still in his hospital attire, which he really really hates. It’s the only thing that doesn’t interfere with all the bandages, though. He’s feeling better, but he has to be here for another few days before they’ll let him go. As you can imagine, this hasn’t gone down well. He’s like a bull in a china shop, scaring everything that comes near him and breaking things on a daily basis.

  Broody asshole.

  I’m glad I’ve got him back.

  “Come on, I won’t tell.”

  “They’ll fuckin’ know when my hair looks like it belongs on a fuckin’ cover of a magazine because you’ve brushed it so fuckin’ much it’s shinin’.”

  I huff. “Wrong, I’ll just stop it forming into a rats nest.”

  “Cut it off.”

  “Maddox...”

  “Do it.”

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  I sigh and throw my hands up. “You stubborn fool. I’m not cutting your fucking hair off.”

  “Don’t swear at me, woman.”

  A nurse enters the room, staring at both of us. “Ah, sorry,” she says, her cheeks flushing when she catches sight of Maddox. She’s new; I guess she hasn’t experienced his royal hotness yet. “It’s...ah...I mean...”

  Oh for fucks sakes, she’s stuttering.

  “Can we help you?” I say, staring at her with a hard expression.

  “The doctor has said Maddox can shower today, so ah, I’m here to help him. It’s my...ah...job.”

  Help him?

  Oh hell no.

  “Help him?” I say, my voice a little squeaky.

  “Yes, in the shower...”

  “I don’t think so,” I growl.

  Maddox is grinning, the son-of-a-bitch. I glare at him, which only makes those gorgeous dimples pop out on his cheeks.

  “It’s nothing personal, ma’am,” she assures me. “It’s just he’ll need help.”

  “Listen to me, love. There’s no way in hell you’re going in the shower with my very gorgeous, very naked man. You’re going to have to tell me what to do, because I promise you there’ll be some serious crash tackling if you even try to get his clothes off.”

  Her cheeks grow pink and Maddox laughs, loud and booming. It ends on a wince and I turn to him. “Serves you right.”

  He bares his teeth at me, like a hungry animal. Oh boy.

  “Well, I guess...” the nurse begi
ns. “I can tell you what to do.”

  “Damn right you can.”

  She nods and we help Maddox out of the bed. His big body isn’t light, even when he’s taking most of his weight. When in the bathroom, the nurse sits him down and explains to me what needs to get wet and what doesn’t. I assure her it’s fine, and she leaves. Then I turn to the big man sitting on the shower stool.

  “Get your dress off.”

  He glares at me. The kind of glare that burns through you.

  “It ain’t a fuckin’ dress, and I don’t get a fuckin’ choice in wearin’ it.”

  “It is a dress,” I say, stepping behind him and undoing the hospital gown. “And you look lovely.”

  I bite my cheek to stop my fit of laughter as he makes a feral hissing sound and barks, “It ain’t a fuckin’ dress, woman!”

  I can’t help it; I burst out laughing. He grunts as I turn the shower on, take it off the handle and make sure the water is only a trickle. The poor man hasn’t had a decent shower, only some wiping down. I bet he’s busting for one. I walk around the front of him and...oh my God.

  “Maddox!” I cry, flushing and turning away.

  The man has the king of all erections.

  “I’m horny, we’re in the shower...”

  “You’re wearing a dress!”

  “Am not!” he barks.

  I try to avoid his jutting cock as I crouch in front of him, gently running the water down his legs, soaping where I can. I move up to his thighs and when I reach his cock, he grins. “Gotta wash it...”

  “I should have let the nurse do it,” I grumble.

  “Sure about that?” he says, curling his fist around himself.

  “Asshole.”

  “Wash it, baby.”

  With a sigh, I place the drizzling showerhead over it and let the water slide down his impressive length. Then I take the soap and begin lathering him, from tip to base. He lets out a guttural moan and rasps, “Suck me, please honey.”

  God, when he says things like that in his silky voice...

  “We’re in a hospital,” I breathe. “And you’re hurt.”

  “My dick ain’t hurt. Put your mouth on me...”

  I stare down at him, God, I do want to suck him.

  “Take your clothes off.”

  I jerk my head up. “What...no...why?”

  “I decided I don’t wanna be sucked, I want you to fuck me.”

  “No.”

  “Baby...yes.”

  I glare at him, he grins at me.

  “I’m not fucking you. Maddox, you’re hurt.”

  “You can sit on me, ride me real slow.”

  “Maddox!”

  “Come on, honey...”

  His voice is smooth and silky.

  I can’t fuck him. It’s too risky. If I slip and hurt him then I’ll never forgive myself. I can, however, suck him. I don’t give him the choice; I just lean forward and close my mouth over his cock. He groans, deep and throaty. He tries once or twice to pull me up but he’s still in too much pain to do so.

  “Fuck...this...ain’t...gonna...take...long...”

  His words are dragged out, and his breathing is ragged. I cup his balls, rolling them in my hand as I lower my mouth down to the point of gagging. My saliva comes up and coats his cock as I suck, taking him as deep as I can go. My tongue swirls his head and his moans increase to pained bellows.

  I know it hurts him to tighten up, and it’s why I didn’t fuck him.

  “God, fuck, yes,” he bellows.

  A hot spurt of cum hits the back of my throat, followed by another and another. His cock pulses in my mouth and his balls tighten. His moaning turns into deep panting and when I feel him begin to soften, I pull back, my pussy clenching with need. His eyes, God those blue eyes, are glittering with lust.

  “Come here,” he growls.

  “No,” I whisper, using the shower to wash the last of his cum away.

  “Baby...come here.”

  “No.”

  “Get the fuck up here, drop your fuckin’ pants and let me put my fingers deep into your snug cunt. It ain’t an option.”

  Oh boy.

  “Now, Santana.”

  “You’re so bossy,” I whisper, standing. “Even when you’re wearing a dress.”

  He growls and hisses; “I’m goin’ to make your ass red for those comments when I’m strong enough to spank you.”

  I grin at him.

  “Now, drop your fuckin’ jeans.”

  I don’t hesitate, I drop them.

  “Panties.”

  They go, too.

  He stares at my naked flesh and his eyes grow warm and lusty. “Fuck, you have the sweetest cunt. Look at those little lips, ready, wet, waitin’ for me.”

  My knees begin to shake. He reaches out, pulling me closer, one arm wrapped around my waist and the other sliding up between my legs.

  “Spread, honey.”

  I do.

  His finger slides up my slick folds and I whimper. His arm tightens around my waist, holding me as much as he can. I try to keep my feet from slipping, so he doesn’t have to take anymore weight. His finger swirls around my clit and I cry out. It’s so swollen it almost hurts.

  “I’ve missed you,” I whimper as he begins to massage the hard nub.

  “Fuck, baby, me too.”

  He massages until I’m on the edge, then his finger goes up and inside me. He begins fucking me with them, while his thumb works my clit. Fuck, oh God. It’s so fucking good. I drop my head back, my knees weak, and cry out his name.

  “Lean forward,” he orders, his voice low. “Let me suck those gorgeous nipples.”

  I do, and his mouth closes around one of my hard peaks. That’s when I come. I come so hard I cry out, not caring who can hear. His fingers work slower, lazier, dragging out every shudder from my body. By the time I’ve finished shaking, he’s got an erection again. Jesus. I want to climb over him so badly. So badly.

  “God do I want to fuck you, Maddox.”

  He pulls me closer. “Fuckin’ do it. I need it. Fuck me, honey.”

  “But I’ll hurt you.”

  He shakes his head. “Come here.”

  He takes control, lifting my leg so it rests over his thigh. He moves the other so I’m straddling him, but only our legs are touching. He lifts me and grips his cock, pulling it between us. The thick head presses against my swollen opening and he pushes in, both of us crying out in pleasure.

  “You’re so tight, swollen and slick. Fuck. Yes.”

  I lower myself over him, loving how it feels when he stretches me. I place my hands on the shower walls so I don’t have to grip him, and I sink fully down. Oh God...yes. So fucking good. His cock fills me so beautifully, stretching my insides in the most amazing way.

  “Maddox,” I whimper. “Fuck...”

  “Jesus...fuck me baby. Fuck me hard.”

  I rotate my hips, using my feet to slide my pussy up and down his thick, hard length. Up and down I go, fucking him, my slick passage taking him fully. His breathing turns ragged and he begins panting hard and fast. His fists are clenched, resting on my thighs, and his jaw is tight.

  “Come,” he demands. “Come on...”

  I close my eyes, losing myself in the moment. I lost the showerhead along the way, but I can hear the soft hissing of the water. My hands are flat against the tiled wall and I slide up and down as gently as I can until I feel myself clenching tightly, hanging on the edge.

  Maddox’s finger finds my clit, and I come.

  God do I come.

  “Maddox, oh God, oh yes,” I scream.

  “Fuck, yes,” he pants.

  I keep rocking, milking my own orgasm, when he finds his for a second time. He roars and his cock pulses, jetting inside me yet again. When I come down, my body feels amazing. I gently slip off him, and let myself kneel back on the floor. I drop my head onto his thigh and steady my breathing.

  “Best fuckin’ shower ever,” he rasps.

  I
laugh softly.

  Then I pick up the shower and clean him up.

  ~*~*~*~

  2014 - Santana

  “Jesus, what the fuck were you two doin’ in there.”

  I hear Krypt’s voice the minute we step out of the bathroom. My cheeks grow pink as I see that he’s not alone. He’s got Pippa, Ash, Indi and Mack with him. They’re holding food, clothes and magazines. Oh boy. Maddox’s arm is around my shoulder, but I feel his body shake with laughter.

  “Don’t laugh, princess,” I growl at him.

  He leans down and bites my ear. I squeal and let Mack help him off me. When he’s back in bed, I shoot him a nasty glare. He just grins at me.

  Prick.

  “Ah,” Ash begins. “I guess he’s not completely broken.”

  “Shut up!” I say to her.

  She’s biting her lip, trying not to laugh. Poor Pippa looks like she’s about to pass out – her cheeks are so red.

  “Sorry, Pippi,” I say.

  She shakes her head. “Oh, no, it’s fine.”

  God.

  “How you doin’, girl?” Maddox asks her.

  She still doesn’t know how to take Maddox, but she’s getting there.

  “Ah, I’m good. Thanks.”

  He smiles at her, and then turns to me. “Go and eat, I’ve got shit to talk about with Mack and Krypt.”

  I cross my arms. He winks at me.

  “Fine, but if there’s one discussion about that shower...you’re dead.”

  He laughs.

  I can’t help it, I smile.

  Then Ash, Pippa, Indi and I leave.

  ~*~*~*~

  “Oh. My. God.” I gasp.

  Maddox is sitting in the bed, staring at me. Krypt is beside him, clippers in hand and Mack is grinning, clearly proud of himself.

  “Told you I wasn’t lettin’ you brush it.”

  I stare at him, shocked. Maddox no longer has long hair...instead he’s got short locks and fuck...holy fuck...he looks smokin’ hot. His once long, thick hair is now a few inches in length and messy. The sexy kind of messy. Not only that, it brings out his face. His jaw looks more chiseled, his eyes more blue and his lips fuller.

  “Everyone leave,” I breathe.

  Krypt turns to Maddox, then to me. “I think you’re about to get raped.”