Altered

  “Fay,” I corrected, annoyed, and sighed.

  He smiled. “Sorry.”

  Enoch sighed gruffly. “I never forced any emotions out of her.”

  “Then who have you been feeding from?” Eli asked, puzzled and a little hysterical.

  Enoch sighed even heavier this time. “Can we talk about this later.” It wasn’t a question. His gaze roamed around and Eli followed his eyes to the crowd gathering.

  Clara pulled from Eli, turning to give him a kiss, and then glared at Enoch as she passed. She took my arm from his. “Come on, Fay. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

  When I turned back to look, Enoch was one-arm hugging Eli, and Eli looked about as surprised as someone could look. He finally caught up and they patted each other on the back. “What?” Clara asked, but when she finally looked back, they had stopped hugging and she missed it.

  “Nothing. So…” I looked around at the little tents and cabins everywhere. “You live in the woods.”

  She laughed. “Technically, you’re not supposed to be here. I guess I should thank Enoch for that. If you hadn’t been with him, Franz wouldn’t have brought you here.”

  “Why?”

  She looked at me as we walked. “How much do you know? Really?”

  “I know that they’re lots of supernatural things out there. The Horde came after us.”

  “About that.” She turned and gave me the sorriest look. “That has to be because of me. I’m so sorry.”

  I nodded. “They said they wanted to use me to find you and Eli.”

  She gasped. “Oh, my…” She hugged me to her. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay. Enoch was there and he saved my life.” I leaned back and made her look me in the face. “He saved my life over and over and not because I was doing anything for him. In reality, I never actually even got him anyone to feed from. He just kept taking care of me.”

  She put her hand up and spoke slow, like I was a toddler. “Okay, I’m going to tell you some things, and I know it’s going to be hard to hear, but I want you to listen good.” I sighed, but she went on. “Enoch is evil. There isn’t a good bone in his body. He doesn’t do things for nothing. There is always a reason or motivation for the things he does, and if he has used you this whole time with this goody-goody act, then he’s trying to get to me through you. He’s going to hurt you to hurt me. You see? He knows that you’re the most important person to me, the only person I have left in the whole world and so he sought you out, found you, and pulled this I’m-cured act to try to make you fall in love with him. Then he’ll bail, break your heart, and we’ll pay for it. Don’t fall for it, Fannie.”

  My heart was breaking already. I seethed. “I hate when you call me that.” I turned, but she bolted to get in front of me.

  “I know. I’m sorry. Look, you don’t know him like I do. Like we all did. He is the vilest man—no, creature—you’ve ever known!”

  “You weren’t with him, Clara.”

  “Neither were you! You were under persuasion the entire time!” I straightened my back and she knew she’d gone too far. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Look.” She sighed and touched her forehead. “I don’t know how to get through to you.”

  “Clara, you weren’t with us. You don’t know the things he did.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It wasn’t just me he saved. He went back into a restaurant and saved an entire building full of people when I was already safe outside. He saved them from the Horde.” She squinted and leaned back against a tree, looking pissed and puzzled. I leaned against it with her and started from the beginning, all the way back to the guy at the hotel who tried to rape me. And…I told her how I was discharged from the military and why. I told her everything. When I finally finished, it was almost dark and a bell started to ring. She was stunned silent.

  “Dinner,” she muttered and stood. “Holy wow, Fay. I can’t believe you went through all that…because of me.”

  “I had to find you.” I shuffled my feet and looked down in shame. “I’ve never felt so ashamed as I have for how I handled you after Mom and Dad.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck. “They were your mom and dad, too. It wasn’t your job to take care of me.”

  I scoffed and hugged her tighter. “But it was, Clara. It was. I’m so sorry I let you down.”

  She leaned back and I was so surprised to see her eyes full of tears. “Nah. I was happy with the pastor and Mrs. Ruth. They were really good to me. In fact, we’re going to try to go back to see them for Thanksgiving. All the babies are getting so big. I’ll tell them to set a plate for you if we can work it out. No buts.”

  “Okay,” I said and wiped my eyes.

  We started to follow the flow of people to a big tent in the center of everything.

  “So Eli?” I asked. “He’s like Enoch. A devourer, too?”

  “He used to be. A witch took it from him and he’s human now. Mostly,” she said with a smile.

  “So he doesn’t have to…feed off of emotion anymore?”

  “Nope. He has to eat food to survive now.” We reached Eli and she poked his flat stomach as he handed each of us a plate. “And he has to watch calories like the rest of us now.”

  They laughed and I raised an eyebrow. Eli laughed again. “Inside joke.”

  “Where’s Enoch? He’s not eating?”

  They both looked at me funny. “Enoch doesn’t eat human food. Except Cheetos.”

  I gave them both an equally funny look. “But he ate on the trip with me all the…time.”

  As their strange looks drained away to even stranger ones, I realized that they were not going to be accepting of the new Enoch, not matter how hard he tried. He must have been a real doozy of a guy before.

  “Okay, well even if he doesn’t eat, I’m sure they’re tons of people here that he hasn’t seen in a long time.”

  Clara scoffed. “Trust me. No one here missed him.”

  I handed them back the plate and crossed my arms. “Where is he?”

  “Fay, don’t,” Clara tried.

  “By the river,” Eli said at the same time.

  I walked away without looking back. I was starving, but seriously, for them to treat him as if he weren’t welcome after everything he’d done for me was just not acceptable.

  It was almost dusk, and the small bit of light made his silhouette against the sky absolutely beautiful. I stared at it for a few long seconds before he noticed me and I saw his head hang. I felt that small ache in my gut—that he didn’t want to see me. But I wasn’t backing down now. I walked slowly toward him, crossing my arms behind my back, and tried for a small smile. “Hey.”

  “You should go eat something,” he said roughly and looked back out at the water. The old me would have took that as what it was and left with her tail between her legs.

  “Come eat with me.”

  He laughed, no humor in sight. “What I need I can’t get from you.”

  I flinched. He saw. He opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything.

  “Okay, Enoch,” I said with a pathetic sigh. “You’re the type that lashes out and hurts people when they get upset. Okay. I remember.”

  And I did. I remembered all the things that happened, all the things he kept me from feeling on our trip, but now I remembered everything that we talked about. How I felt so drawn to him and he kept me at arm’s length, not once taking advantage of me, even though Clara had said he would have.

  “When someone wants to change or goes through something that makes them different…it doesn’t matter what they were, it only matters what they want to be.”

  “It can’t really be that simple to humans, can it?”

  “Why not?”

  “Because the rest of the world is anything but.”

  I closed my eyes, remembering the way his fingers had felt on my cheek, it all rushed back to me just like it was happening in that moment. My…my entire being warmed just remembering it.

&nbsp
; I opened my eyes and saw Enoch clenching his fists. I saw when he truly registered what I was thinking about. His mouth opened slightly and his eyes took on a drugged look.

  “Did you know that when you took the persuasion off,” I began and moved toward him, “when I remember things that happened, it’s like they’re happening in real-time?” My voice sounded entirely too breathy, but I couldn’t stop. “Like it’s happening right now? I’m thinking about that night at the hotel—”

  He cursed. “Fay, don’t do this to me. I can’t control myself right now. I really need to feed.”

  “So feed from me. I never understood why you didn’t want to.”

  “No,” he said vehemently and took a step back when I’d almost reached him.

  “Why?” I asked. He may as well have thrown cold water on me. He licked his lip, but there was nothing left. “Ok, you had me under persuasion before. You didn’t want to take advantage of me. That was noble and sweet, Enoch.” He scoffed. “But I’m not anymore, and I get why you did everything you did on the trip. You still need to feed from someone. I can tell that you’re already starting to get…jumpy again. What are you going to do?”

  “I’ll have to feed, Fay,” he said and stared at me as if I was missing something.

  “Why not me?” I moved until I was right in front of him, even though he tried to take a step or two back. “Why? Is it Clara? I’ll handle Clara.”

  “No, it’s not Clara,” he answered, like that was ridiculous.

  “So, it’s just me then.” I backed away and covered my mouth as I turned. To keep in a sob? To keep from saying something stupid? Who knew. “Um…thank you.”

  “For what?” he whispered.

  For all I knew when we woke up tomorrow, he would have skipped out on us, on me, so I made myself turn and say what was on my mind. But when I looked at him, the tears came. I smiled and said it anyway. “Thank you for saving me. You didn’t have to stop that night. You could have kept going and never had to put up with me and all the troubles I brought with me.”

  “Fay,” he sighed and shook his head.

  “I know the Horde was coming after me, not you. You could have been free of all this and just gotten away from it all. You came back because of me.” I looked back at the group of people who were going down the line of food in the open tent. “And judging by that chilly reception you got, I can see why you would want to stay away.” I swung my gaze back and he had moved right up against me. I barely gasped, but had to keep going. “Thank you for doing what you did, to keep me sane. If you hadn’t persuaded me, I would have just been freaking out the whole time. You helped my mind let it settle in. No matter what Clara says, it was actually easier to accept things that way. And then you saved me again and again. And you…” I shook my head. “I wouldn’t be here if not for you. I wouldn’t be alive if not for you. And I never would have made it all the way here on only a few bucks anyway. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come along.”

  He just looked down at me, his eyes wide and honest. “So even after talking to Clara, and her telling you what a horrible bastard I am, you still think I’m worth saving?”

  I took the end of his shirt in my fingers. “I did most of the talking,” I said with a small chuckle and looked up at him from under my lashes. “I told her all about our trip, everything that happened. She said you were…” I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t know that old you; I only know the you that’s standing in front of me.”

  “Where the hell did you come from?” he muttered and looked so torn. He gulped and looked around, back toward the tent. “You should go eat something before everything’s gone.”

  “You’re not coming, I take it.”

  He looked away, not saying anything. I knew that when I woke up in the morning, he would be gone. I’d never see him again, but I’d be forced to remember him forever by staring at his brother’s face. I reached up and put my arms around his neck. His arms went wide, his rebellion at the idea.

  I laughed. “It’s okay. You don’t have to hug me back.” I sighed into his hair and pressed myself as close as I could get up on my tiptoes. His hand splayed on the small of my back and the other hand reached up to cup my neck. “Thanks for everything, Enoch.”

  “Why do you sound like you’re saying goodbye?”

  “Because I have a funny feeling that you’ll be gone by morning.”

  He leaned back, our faces so close. “How do you know me so well?”

  I smiled. “I thought you said I didn’t know you at all?”

  “Fay!”

  We turned toward the screech and saw Clara glaring at us from the top of the hill.

  “Go,” he said and took a step back, his hands falling away. “You got your sister. You made it here. You got everything you ever wanted, right? Someday you’re going to find some smashing human and make beautiful babies together,” he murmured almost angrily and then smiled at me. “Of that I have no doubt, love.”

  “So you are leaving,” I confirmed and the tears fell freely. Knowing he wasn’t going to be there was heartbreaking. He sucked in a breath, licking his lip as he came my way once more.

  He lifted his hand slowly and with his forefinger wiped a tear from my cheek so reverently, it made me cry even harder. He gripped his chest with free hand and sighed. “Sorry. I know you hate to taste my—”

  “No,” he sighed, his eyes closed. When they opened, he unleashed his gaze on me. “These tears are for me. No one has ever cried for me before.” I looked at him and silently begged him to stay. He leaned in and whispered, “This is a beautiful gift, Fay.”

  “Enoch—”

  He leaned in and I held my breath, but his lips didn’t connect with mine. They brushed my cheek and I was once again wondering what Enoch felt for me. “Thank you. Now go, eat.”

  “You need to feed.”

  “I do,” he agreed, and he did. I could see how awful he was starting to look.

  “But you don’t want to feed from me.”

  “No, Fay,” he said harder and gulped.

  That solidified it for me. I’m not sure what our trip was, but it hadn’t meant the same thing to him. I tried to hide it, but it still must have shown on my face before I turned.

  “Fay,” he sighed.

  I didn’t stop. I didn’t want his sympathy. And that’s what it was. I shook my head at myself. Ah, I was so stupid! Even just now when I was crying! He had said it was a beautiful gift. That’s because he was trying to let me down easy. Because he thought I was psycho for crying in the first place! I finger combed my hair and went inside. A few nosy people tried to act like they weren’t staring at me, but I just ignored them. Clara and Eli watched me like a hawk as I grabbed a bowl of spaghetti and sat with a thud on the green grass to eat it. I wasn’t even hungry anymore really, but I made myself eat.

  I looked over to find them watching me and sighed. I waved them over and Clara practically bounded. “Why the hell do you have cry eyes?” she hissed.

  “Because I was crying.”

  “What did he do?”

  “I was thanking him, Clara,” I said, exasperated. “Can I just eat in peace and take a shower, if you have them…and maybe get some clothes. I just want to go to bed.”

  “Yes.” She had the good sense to say that and only that, but she looked like she wanted to say a lot more.

  Eli walked off to where his brother had been and I tried to put it out of my mind. There was a community shower at the campground, so that was fun. Clara and I were still the exact same size, so no problems there. I got some sleep clothes and some clothes for the next day. There were some tents and some cabins.

  Clara and Eli had a very small camper-type thing. I shared with them and took the pull-out couch. So I crawled under the covers and pulled them over my head, trying not to think about anything. It amazed me how different my mind was now that the persuasion was off. I worried about things now that I hadn’t thought about as much just a couple
days ago.

  I drifted to sleep, trying to forget that what was supposed to be a happy day for me, a day of reunions and love, just reminded me how much I always felt like I was the one that wasn’t good enough and no one wanted around.

  ___________

  I felt arms under my breasts and could remember his breath as it skated over my cheek. I’ll give you a place to stay for the night. No charge. You give me a little something in return, okay? I balled up in on myself and tried to catch my breath. Was it real? Had it all been a dream and I was still caught in the hotel guy’s clutches?

  “Fay?”

  I pushed the hands off me and scooted away. “No!” I shouted.

  “Fay,” someone said softly and touched my hair. I opened my eyes and found myself looking at my sister. “Clara?”

  She nodded. I looked past her to find a shirtless Eli peeking out to check on us. “Everything okay out here, baby?”

  “We’re okay,” she said and looked back. When she saw him she got up and climbed over the bed to him quickly. She whispered something to him and then kissed him. He took her face in his hands, not letting her get away, and kissed her again softer, longer. I felt like I was prying by watching, but I couldn’t look away. So this was who my sister married. You could tell he worshipped the ground she walked on, and would do anything for her. And it was mutual. She didn’t abuse that, and that surprised me. I always assumed when she got married she’d be a bridezilla who ordered her husband around and I’d feel sorry for him, but I could tell that the respect was mutual. I found myself wanting to cry as I watched them.

  They separated and he smiled, putting his forehead to hers for just a second. “I love you. Yell if you need anything.”

  “I love you,” she whispered back.

  “Fay, you need anything?” he asked wryly.

  “No,” I said and laughed. “Thank you for letting me stay.”

  “Of course.”

  Clara bit her lip as she watched him go and then crawled up on the bed beside me again. “Bad dream?”

  “Yeah. Weird that I haven’t had any until tonight.”