God's Gift

  “I’m not going to do more than simply say good-night,” he cautioned, even as he stepped closer.

  “That’s wise,” Rae agreed.

  “Do you feel like the rug just got pulled out from under your feet?”

  It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one…. “Yanked out,” she clarified.

  “What do you want to do about it?”

  He was so close she could touch his face if she only raised her hand. “Take it one day at a time,” she replied softly, wisely.

  He leaned down and gently kissed her cheek. “Good answer, Rae. You like sandwiches?”

  She blinked at the change of subject. “Sure.”

  “I’ll bring lunch tomorrow if you can get twenty minutes away. Your complex has a pond, ducks, and a park bench.”

  Her smile lit up her face. “Thanks.”

  He smiled back. His free hand gently stroked her cheek. “Tell me to go home, I’m in trouble here.”

  Her hands gently touched his shirt. She took a deep breath and pushed him a step away. “Go home.”

  He stepped back, made it two steps down the walk before he turned. “Rae?”

  She hadn’t moved, didn’t have the strength or the will. “Yeah?”

  “Sweet dreams.”

  Her face tensed.

  “What?” He came partway back.

  She forced her smile. “Nothing. I’ll dream sweet dreams,” she promised. “I’ll see you tomorrow, James.”

  He hesitated. “Good night, then.”

  “Good night.”

  “The duck on the end looks annoyed.”

  Rae bit into the center of her sandwich, trying to keep the inch-high stack of condiments from falling off. She was near the end and it was becoming an adventure to eat. “You would be, too, if your wife was flirting with another guy,” she remarked when she could speak again. “That’s Bradley. His wife is the one in front flirting with the mallard.”

  “You’ve got them all named.”

  She finished the sandwich. “The same ducks have been coming back here for years.”

  James shifted his arm across the back of the bench. Rae took advantage of the situation to lean her head back. “Thanks for lunch.”

  He smiled. “My pleasure.”

  “You look tired.”

  “You don’t,” he replied with a grin. “In fact, I would suggest you might have overdone the caffeine this morning. You’re…perky.”

  She pushed him in the ribs with her free hand. “I’ll give you ‘perky.’ And quit ducking my question.”

  He laughed at her pun.

  “Ohh.” She gave up and joined him, his laughter contagious.

  “I didn’t sleep because I was busy thinking,” he told her when his laughter died down.

  “Serious thinking?”

  “Hmm. Got a question for you.”

  She rested a hand on his chest. “Oh, boy. Another question. Am I going to like it?”

  He grinned. “Well, it took me several hours to phrase it, so you should.”

  She ducked her head against his chest. “Ask.”

  He rubbed her shoulders.

  “You’re not asking…” she said with a chuckle.

  “Forgot the question. You’re distracting, lady.”

  She sat back up, laughing. She hadn’t felt this lighthearted in ages.

  “I think we can safely say we are past the preliminaries in this dating adventure, wouldn’t you agree?”

  She thought about it carefully. “Yes,” she said with a decisive nod.

  He tickled her for that exaggeration. “Here’s my question.”

  She was still laughing. She struggled to get serious. “Okay.”

  “This is a really important question,” he reminded her, waiting until she nodded. “Will you…” He paused. “This is a really important question, Rae,” he reminded her.

  She tried to stifle the giggle. “Okay, okay. Ask.”

  “Rae, will you…help me pick out the wallpaper for the kitchen?”

  She blinked at him. “Wallpaper.”

  He nodded, his expression serious. “Wallpaper.”

  She giggled. “I could probably do that.”

  “Will you help me hang it?”

  “Only if you buy the brush-with-water kind. I’m dangerous with paste.”

  “Important point,” he agreed. “Wallpaper with self-stick adhesive.”

  “I’m not very good at vertical stripes.”

  “I am,” he replied smugly.

  She was laughing so hard she was having a hard time catching her breath. “James, you spent last night thinking about your house?”

  “I wouldn’t want you to think I spent it just thinking about you.”

  “That wouldn’t do,” she agreed, solemnly.

  She reluctantly checked her watch. “I’ve got to go back to work.”

  He gently brushed her hair back from her face. “Thanks for lunch.”

  She grinned. “I loved lunch.”

  “Come here,” he whispered, tugging her toward him.

  Her hands came to rest against his chest.

  He kissed her, softly, gently. “Go back to work. Think about me occasionally.”

  She reluctantly got to her feet. “If I think about you, I won’t get any work done.”

  He quirked one eyebrow with his smile. “Your concentration is that distractible?”

  “I think I will plead the fifth,” she replied with a smile, reluctantly slipping her hand from his. “See you later.”

  “I’m sure you will.”

  “Dave, the paint is supposed to be on the porch, not on me,” Rae protested, tugging the sleeve of her shirt around to check out the latest white splotch.

  “Sorry.”

  She gave a resigned sigh. “Sure you are.”

  There were footsteps behind them. “Aren’t you two done yet?”

  “Lace, you stuck me with someone who bites the tip of her tongue when she paints and who insists we leave no brush strokes visible anywhere. We are still going to be painting this porch next week.”

  Lace laughed and tweaked Dave’s collar. “Did you know you’ve got a white handprint on your back?”

  “Rae!”

  She shrugged, even as she grinned. “Sorry.”

  “Would you two children like to come and eat? The pizza is here,” James announced from the doorway. He and Kevin had been plastering the new wall they had built after tearing down two others.

  Rae looked up from where she sat on the porch. “Sounds good to me.”

  “Feed her, James, please. She’s driving me nuts.”

  James laughed and offered his hand to Rae, pulled her to her feet. “Hold it.” He rescued her ponytail from shifting through the wet paint on her T-shirt. He tugged his base-ball cap off and tucked her hair up in it. Grinned. “Okay, you’re safe now.”

  “Dave should not be allowed to have a paintbrush.”

  James turned her around to inspect what had once been a pair of blue jeans and a hockey T-shirt. “Rae, you sat in wet paint?”

  She glared at her friend. “He lied.”

  “I only said the step was going to need painting again. It did. You sat in it,” Dave explained.

  “I was naive this morning,” Rae told James.

  James tried to hide a smile. “Apparently.”

  “You’re supposed to be on my side,” she protested, seeing the smile.

  He leaned down and kissed her paint-freckled nose. “I am.” He tugged her hand. “Come on, let’s eat.”

  Rae sat beside James on the backyard deck sharing pizza off his plate, sitting as close to him as she could get on the stoop. It had been nice, spending the last three weeks dating him. If she had to put it in one word, the last three weeks had been…fun. Wonderful was a good word. Or maybe the word she should choose would be cautious. No. Neither one of them were being cautious, per se, they both knew where they were heading, though they were taking their time.

  One of these days
she was going to admit to herself she was falling in love again. One of these days…

  “I’m glad you came.”

  Rae smiled. “So am I.” She lifted his soda can.

  “Rae—” Lace pushed open the patio door “—come settle this debate. Dave insists I’ve got this striped wallpaper upside down. It doesn’t have an up or down.”

  James smiled. “Go.” He watched Rae head inside to settle the debate between her friends. He loved being around them, their laughter and their jokes, their teasing. A day with all of them meant a lot of inevitable laughter.

  He was in love with Rae. In the last three weeks, any doubt about that had been removed. He loved her. He loved the way she looked, the way she smiled, the way she moved, the way she liked to snuggle, her confidence, her willingness to look at something that needed to be done and not shirk back, her willingness to give of herself to her employees, her clients, her friends—even at a personal cost. James could understand now why Leo had been so firm about making sure Rae had time to work on her book. Rae would give herself away and leave no time for herself.

  James finished the soda.

  They had some major issues to sort out. She needed time to think through what she wanted to do about her work. He wished he could solve the dilemma, find her a partner, but after several long talks with Dave, he better understood the obstacles she was dealing with. He couldn’t add the pressure of an engagement to what she was already struggling with.

  A few more weeks of time. It was the best gift he could give her right now.

  She was going to say yes. He could read that in her eyes when he kissed her.

  She was going to make a wonderful wife.

  He carefully rubbed his left wrist. He was back to about an eight on his ten-point scale. A few more days, and even the stiffness should be gone.

  He owed Rae some dance lessons.

  “Rae, are you sure I can’t get you something? A sandwich? A bagel?”

  Rae shifted from where she was stretched out on Lace’s couch, turned to look over at her friend. “Thanks, Lace, but really, I’m fine.”

  It was a quarter past eight on a Thursday night. At the office, Rae had looked at the clock, decided enough was enough, and tossed the work into her briefcase. The briefcase was sitting in the front seat of her car now, would eventually get opened. The conference call was for 7:00 a.m. She still had eleven hours to get the work done, get some sleep. She would manage. “I like your dog.” The little dog was curled up on Rae’s chest, loving the attention.

  “It looks like Tiger likes you, as well.” Lace sat down in the chair. “You need to get a dog.”

  “Someday,” Rae agreed. “What time is your flight to New York?”

  “Six a.m. I’m on the return flight at two.”

  “That means you will get to see the airport, the inside of a cab, and the law offices of Glitchard, Pratt and Walford.”

  “Basically.”

  Rae struggled to hold a yawn back. Lying down was reinforcing how tired she was. Work was under control for a change, but it was costing her a lot of sleep.

  “Rae, are you really thinking about getting married?”

  The question caught Rae off guard. “Why do you say that?”

  “Little things. The way you smile when you’re with James.”

  Rae bit her bottom lip. “I’ve been thinking about it,” she finally admitted. “It’s scary, Lace. I let Leo get so close, and then I lost him. What if something happens to James?”

  “Are you really worried about that? Losing James?”

  “I don’t know. It’s not like I think he will die in an accident like Leo did. It’s more my cautious side putting up a reason to not let the relationship go any further.”

  They both grew quiet.

  “I don’t know if I could handle getting married. It changes your life so much,” Lace finally said.

  “I don’t mind being single, but I’ve been single for a long time. I’m ready to change that. I still want kids, Lace.”

  Lace smiled. “A Sunday morning in the nursery makes that pretty clear. You’re right. It’s one thing to be single for ten years. It’s another to think about being single for your lifetime.” Lace slid over a footstool. “James will make a good husband, Rae.”

  Rae moved the dog so he would not tumble off. “Probably. I don’t know if I’m as cut out to be a wife though.”

  “What bothers you about being a wife?”

  “His expectations. Leo knew me before he fell in love with me. He knew the reality of who I was and who I was never going to be. James—I’m worried that he sees what he wants to see. You know me, Lace. You know how focused I get at work. You know what I think about decorating, and keeping house and cooking. I’m worried about the little things that James doesn’t consider a problem now being a big deal after we have been married five years.”

  “You have to learn how to be married. You both will. I’m sure there are things about James that will bug you the same way in five years.”

  “Really? What? That’s my problem. The guy is too perfect. He likes his mom. He’s reliable, honest, kind. He knows where he is going. He is good at his job. He thinks for himself. It’s kind of scary.”

  Lace laughed. “Oh, Rae. You have got it bad.”

  “Change the subject. I’m getting nervous just thinking about it. Can you imagine what the first week of the marriage would be like? What every meal would be like?”

  “Let him teach you to cook. In five years, you should have the basics down.”

  Rae grimaced. “Thanks a lot, friend.”

  “Have you decided what you are going to wear tomorrow night for our night out with the guys?”

  Dave and James were taking them out for dinner, then dancing. “No. What are you going to wear?”

  “Probably the blue silk. Why don’t you wear the black dress? I’ll loan you my short black velvet jacket.”

  “It is a beautiful dress.” It was one of her favorite outfits.

  “Dave made dinner reservations for seven-thirty?”

  “Yes. Will you have time to get ready, given your flight schedule?”

  “As long as the flight is not delayed, I’ll be fine.”

  James was early.

  Rae hurried to gather her clutch purse and shoes, carried them with her as she went downstairs.

  “We should have done this a long time ago,” James finally said after a slow appraisal of her, his expression one of frank appreciation.

  Rae couldn’t control the blush. She stepped back as he came inside. “I’m glad you like it,” she replied, smiling, trying to keep her voice light. She had never been very good at the emotional interplay and she was on uncomfortable ground, immensely glad he appreciated her appearance, at the same time flustered by the frank attention.

  James reached out and caught her hand, drew her toward him. “I think…”

  When he didn’t finish his sentence, she looked up. His eyes were studying her face, waiting for that movement. He smiled, his hand reaching up to caress her cheek. “…that we should start this evening with a kiss.”

  She suddenly grinned.

  She liked being close to him. She could see the laughter and the love in his eyes. It was okay to be a little nervous. It didn’t last. She stepped forward a little so she could lean against him. “Do you really?” she asked, tilting her head back to watch him.

  His hands locked behind her waist. “I do.”

  She paused to consider the offer. “I like the idea….”

  He smiled. “But?”

  “It’s going to be really hard to keep my mind on dinner and dancing if every time I look at you tonight, I’m remembering this kiss,” she replied, answering his smile.

  “I can fix that.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded. “Close your eyes.”

  She giggled; she couldn’t help it. “James.”

  “I’m not letting you go until I get this kiss,” he remarked.

&nb
sp; Rae thought about it and quietly closed her eyes. She could feel him lean down. Ready for the kiss, she held perfectly still…and the kiss didn’t come.

  She opened her eyelashes a fraction.

  He was waiting for her to do just that. He smiled and swiftly kissed her. She loved this man so much.

  His forehead rested against hers. “We need to go eat.” His voice was reluctant.

  “Hmm.” Rae sighed and slowly stepped back, knowing he was right.

  James tweaked a lock of her hair. “Do you have a wrap? It’s chilly tonight.”

  Rae stepped into the living room where she had a coat that went with the dress.

  James held it for her as she slipped it on.

  His attention to the details, locking the door for her, walking beside her to the car, holding her door for her, were noticed and appreciated. He did it naturally, and the attention meant a great deal to Rae.

  “Where did you and Dave decide on for dinner?”

  “Tobias House. It is quiet, elegant, but still has a really good steak.”

  Rae chuckled. “Okay. I can tell where your priorities are.”

  “I was working on the upstairs guest room today, I’m ready for a good meal.”

  “You got the window replaced?”

  “Just about. Since we had to open up the wall already to put in the larger window, we decided to go ahead and move some of the electrical wiring, put in more insulation. Another day, and the guest room will be finished.”

  “The house is almost done.”

  James smiled. “Just needs a woman’s decorative touch,” he agreed.

  Rae decided not to touch that comment. They were heading somewhere; she just wasn’t sure how ready she was for the next step. It was hard enough admitting to herself how deeply she had fallen in love with him. That knowledge should be filling her with joy. It was, but it also felt a little scary.

  James reached over and gently touched the bottom lip she was biting. “Don’t. We’ve got all the time in the world, Rae. I’m not suggesting anything.”

  She stopped the unconscious gesture. “I know, James. It just feels really big sometimes, this relationship.”

  He clicked on the right turn signal. “I know what you mean. It’s scary from my side, too.”