God's Gift

  James loved Thanksgiving Day. It was something they didn’t celebrate in Africa.

  “Where’s your dad?”

  “Getting the card tables from the basement.”

  The kitchen was busy, both his mom and sister fixing snack and relish trays. “Do you think we have enough to eat?” James asked, looking over the loaded counters.

  His mom grinned and gently hugged him. “Even with nine people at the table, we’re going to be sending lots of leftovers home with people. It’s one of the things that makes it a good day. Are Dave and Lace with you?”

  “They’re on the way,” James assured her. “They were going to go spring Rae from her office.”

  “She’s working? Today?”

  James grimaced. That was what he thought as well. “A couple of hours. Need any help?”

  “We’re close to being done.”

  James nodded. “Patricia, how’s my future niece or nephew doing?” She was due in another eight weeks. His sister was loving being pregnant.

  “Having a wonderful time kicking the inside of my ribs. He’s an active little guy.”

  “Think it’s a boy?”

  Patricia grinned. “I’ve got a fifty-fifty chance of being right.”

  James affectionately squeezed her shoulder. “I pick New Years Day as the estimated time of arrival. I think you’re going to be early.”

  Patricia laughed. “That would be fine with me.”

  James accepted a drink and went to see if he could help Paul. He couldn’t carry much, but there should be something he could do. Find out what football games were on that afternoon if nothing else.

  He was looking forward to seeing Rae. Dave and Lace, too.

  He was having a moderately good day. A four on his scale of ten. He could walk without much pain today. It was probably a short reprieve, but he would take it while it lasted.

  Dave, Lace and Rae arrived, amidst a lot of laughter. James met them at the door, grinned at Rae who was wearing a feather tucked in her hair.

  “James, they are calling me a turkey.”

  “Gee, I wonder why.”

  She swatted his arm. “I have to show some Thanksgiving Day spirit. They wouldn’t let me bring any food.”

  “Thank you both,” James gratefully told Dave and Lace, then double-checked to make sure Rae knew he was teasing. He would hate to hurt her feelings. She wasn’t that bad of a cook.

  She tucked her hand under his arm. “One of these days, you are all going to regret these comments.” She was grinning.

  “Sure, sure. That’s what you always say,” Dave replied, grinning back.

  “What did you bring?” James asked Lace, looking at the foil-covered tray she was carrying.

  “Homemade candy. Fudge, chocolate-covered cherries, caramels.”

  “You’ve been hiding this talent all these months?”

  Rae laughed. “Dave made them, James. Lace just sat on the stool and kept him company.”

  “I’m impressed,” James told Dave.

  “You should be. Caramels take forever to make.”

  They already knew everyone in his family, but Dave and Lace had not seen the house before, so James gave them a guided tour, not letting Rae get far from his side. She didn’t seem to be in any hurry to move away either. His arm around her shoulders, he hugged her gently. He was very glad to have her here.

  The kitchen timer went off, and Emily announced her rolls were done. It was time to eat.

  Dave and Lace were flirting with each other. James watched the two of them as they moved around the buffet table filling their plates. Dave would lean over occasionally and make a soft comment; Lace would blush and whisper something back that would make Dave chuckle.

  Rae nudged his arm. “They went to some comedy club downtown last night. I think Lace had a good time,” she whispered.

  “I think you’re right.”

  James held out the chair beside him at the table for Rae.

  “Thanks.”

  “My pleasure.”

  Rae leaned against him as she asked if he would pass the butter.

  James reached around her to pass the basket of rolls to Dave, let his arm linger around her shoulders.

  “Would you two quit flirting and eat?” Patricia finally asked, laughing.

  James and Rae looked over, caught, only to find that Patricia was looking at Dave and Lace.

  “It goes for you, too, James,” his mom said, seeing his look of relief.

  “Me? I’m the innocent party in all this,” James protested. Rae reached over and ruffled his hair.

  He caught her hand, leaned over. He kissed her to the delight of those at the table. “If I’m going to get caught, it should be worth it,” he told Rae softly, watching her blush.

  She leaned forward until they were touching noses. “You just used up your one kiss for this date,” she reminded him.

  James blinked. She was right.

  She laughed at his expression.

  James took Rae home shortly after 9:00 p.m.

  His mom had sent a sack of leftovers home with her—soup, sandwiches, noodles, pie. James reached for the sack on the back seat only to have Rae stop him. “Let me carry it.”

  “Rae…”

  “I know it’s a good day, I know it’s not heavy. Humor me.”

  James was in too good a mood to argue the point. They walked up the drive together.

  “What would you like to do tomorrow?”

  “Sleep in till eight, have a leisurely breakfast, shop, go see a movie.”

  “Sounds perfect. I’ll pick you up at eight-thirty?”

  “That was only a suggestion, James. Are you sure you want to go shopping? It will be crazy tomorrow with the Thanksgiving Day sales and the start of the Christmas shopping.”

  “Shopping will be fun,” he replied. “We’ve never done it together before.”

  Rae grinned. “There is a reason for that, you know.”

  James grinned back. “I’ll take my chances. Eight-thirty?”

  “Fine.”

  James leaned forward. “Can we make it a two kiss date?”

  Rae moved the sack to her far arm. “I think that can be arranged,” she replied with a smile. He leaned down to kiss her and Rae closed her eyes.

  A groan of pain broke apart the kiss.

  She had stepped forward. His left ankle refused to take his shifted weight. His reflex to keep from falling put his hand heavily on her shoulder.

  “What…?”

  “I’m okay.” He gingerly tried to put weight on the ankle. The tendons and joint flared with pain.

  “I did it again.” Rae was angry with herself, her arm going around his waist, the sack she still held tipping precariously. “James, I am so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.” He took several deep breaths, fighting back the pain. “It’s why I carry the cane.” The cane was, of course, still propped in the back seat of the car.

  “I’ll get it.”

  He stopped her movement. “No. Walk me back to the car. I’ve been on my feet too long today.”

  It was a painfully ugly way to end the evening.

  Rae walked with him back to the car, James clenching his teeth at the pain in his left ankle. If it had been his right, Rae would have been driving him home. “We’ll have to play tomorrow by ear,” he said, admitting the obvious.

  “No problem, it’s not important. Call me when you get up.”

  It was important and it was a big deal. But he didn’t have a lot of options.

  “I’ll call you,” he agreed, resigned. The pain had managed to ruin a good evening.

  The phone rang at eight-thirty the next morning.

  “Did I wake you up?”

  Rae smiled. “No. Though I am still in bed. I’m editing the last couple chapters I wrote for my book. How are you, James?”

  “We can scratch off today. I’m sorry, Rae. I was looking forward to it.”

  “The pain is bad?”

  Rae
heard the broken sigh. “It’s bad.”

  She felt terrible for him. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “I wish there was. I really wish there was.”

  The situation was wearing him down and it showed in his voice. “I don’t mind a lazy day watching movies. What interests you? I’ll bring a few over,” she offered, trying to lift his spirits.

  “Rae, you don’t need to do that. Go shopping. Enjoy the rare day off.”

  “I would rather spend it with you.”

  “I’ll be selfish and say I would like that, too. But I’m lousy company at the moment, Rae.”

  “You’ve got cause.” Rae worried her bottom lip, trying to decide what would be best. “Why don’t I come over about two o’clock with a puppy and a movie.”

  “A puppy?” Rae could hear his smile.

  “One of Margo’s litter. You said yourself puppies were good medicine.”

  “You will be chasing it all over the house.”

  “Probably. Say yes.”

  James chuckled. “Sure, why not? I’ll leave the door unlocked. Let yourself in.”

  The puppy that had been named Justin adored riding in the car. He sat on the passenger seat with his nose stuck out the slightly opened window, loving the motion.

  Rae had done her shopping, two hours in the crowds convincing her there were better places to be on the day after Thanksgiving. She had chosen three movies at the video store, then stopped by the kennel to pick up Justin.

  Last night had been yet another realization of what kind of obstacles they continued to face. James wanted to view his health as his problem, but he was wrong. It was their problem. She loved him. They were headed for a future together. The reality of the pain he faced every day was part of that future. She had seen it go into remission twice. Eventually, this episode had to go into remission as well. He was getting better, even he would admit that, even if it was occurring at a snail’s pace.

  She hated to see him in pain. Hated to know something she had done had contributed to that pain. The day she had realized hugging him hurt him…She still winced when she thought of that day. She had inadvertently done something similar again last night. He was a rugged, masculine, strong guy. Looking at him, it was hard to fathom that at times the simple actions of carrying something, shaking hands, walking, were physically painful for him to do.

  God, why? I’m in love with him. I hate to see him in pain. I hate the fact there is so little I can do to help.

  Thankfully, she had a leash and collar for Justin or the puppy would have wiggled himself out of her arms as she walked up the driveway to James’s home. She loved this house. She loved the structural changes he had made. She would love to live in this house. She pushed open the front door, calling James’s name.

  “Back here, Rae.”

  She found him in his office working on a sketch at the drafting table. He got up from the stool, moving very stiffly.

  Rae didn’t comment on his pain. She squeezed his hand gently and looked at the drawing. “This is for the Grants?” They were adding another bedroom and a family room onto their ranch-style home.

  “Yes.” James reached over to pet a squirming Justin. “You can let him down in the house.”

  Rae slipped the puppy off the leash. He started exploring the room. “The sketch is very good.”

  “I had a few minutes to kill,” James replied.

  Rae could tell he wasn’t satisfied with the drawing yet. “I brought three movies for you to choose from.”

  James motioned toward the living room, walked with her, leaning heavily on the cane to favor his left ankle. “Good choices?”

  Rae smiled and told him the names of the films.

  “You honestly expect me to choose?”

  “Prioritize,” Rae conceded. “I really want to see them all.”

  James laughed. “I can do seven hours of movies if you can.”

  “Watch me.”

  They ended up on the couch, Justin alternating between sitting in one or the other’s lap and playing on the floor with James’s rolled-up socks.

  They started with John Wayne. They laughed together through most of the movie as any loud sound effect in the movie made Justin scamper for cover. He preferred burying his head under James’s arm. They took a couple intermissions in the movie, Rae knowing James needed to move around frequently to keep his joints from stiffening too much.

  “James, where do you keep the plastic wrap?” Rae opened yet another kitchen cabinet drawer. James had agreed to let her fix dinner as long as she simply reheated leftovers from the Thanksgiving Day meal.

  “Try the second drawer to the right of the dishwasher.”

  “Thanks.”

  She came back with thick turkey sandwiches, scalloped potatoes, and two large slices of pumpkin pie.

  James took the plate she offered. “I could get used to this.”

  Rae grinned. “Of course. Everyone likes to be waited on.”

  “I was referring to the food, but the service is not bad either.”

  Rae considered batting him with a pillow, but refrained due to the fact it might actually hurt him. “Just be glad I’m here. Without me—no movies, no puppy, no pie.”

  James leaned over and kissed her. “Forgiven?”

  “For a kiss, I would forgive almost anything,” Rae replied, grinning, at the same time, serious. She meant it.

  James pointed to her plate. “Eat. I can’t afford to kiss you again.”

  James selected the action-adventure film as the next movie. Rae was glad. She didn’t need to be watching a romance at the moment.

  They both laughed at the same places in the movie. Rae had seen it numerous times and still liked the way it had been plotted. It was a long movie. The ending felt good. The good guys had won.

  “Are you sure you want to see all three in one day?” James asked.

  It was dark outside, the credits for the movie were rolling by. Rae was tired, the puppy was asleep in her lap. But it wasn’t that late…. “I’m game. It’s one of my favorite movies.”

  James changed the movies.

  “Come here, stretch out and get comfortable,” he encouraged when he was seated again. Rae didn’t need to hear the suggestion twice. She carefully settled the puppy, and stretched out on the couch, using James’s lap as a pillow.

  It felt good having his hand resting against her waist, occasionally brushing through her hair. It felt good to be close to him.

  “Whoever thought of this script came up with a wonderful storyline,” Rae said.

  “Your book will make a good movie someday.”

  Rae looked up, surprised. “You think so? At the rate I’m going, it will never get finished, let alone find a publisher and interest a movie studio.”

  “You should have reserved a few hours today to work on the book.”

  Rae shook her head. “No. The book and the business can fight for the same time. I’m not letting the book compete with time I can spend with you.”

  “Rae…”

  She cut him off. “I want to watch the movie.”

  She felt him sigh, but he dropped the subject. She knew it bothered him, the fact she was getting only fragments of time to work on her book. But she didn’t view taking time away from their relationship to be worth the price. The book had been part of her life for three years; if it took another two years, that was the unfortunate reality. She loved days spent with James too much to want to create a tug-of-war between spending time with him and working on the book. James came first. It was that simple.

  It was late when Rae reluctantly moved to go home. The puppy was coming home with her for the night.

  James made sure she had her jacket on.

  James rubbed the sleepy puppy under the chin. “He’s going to wake you up very early in the morning.”

  Rae smiled. “That would be okay.”

  She wanted to hug him good-night, but her hands were full holding the puppy and carrying the videotapes. He ha
d been unusually quiet for the last hour; she wished she knew what he was thinking about. It was something serious, that was obvious.

  He leaned down and kissed her very gently. “Drive careful, Rae.”

  “Good night, James.”

  Chapter Ten

  She had carried in his groceries.

  James lowered his head, his hands resting against the counter. This was not right!

  The anger inside—at God, at the pain, at the unfairness of what was happening, at the lack of sleep—roiled through him.

  “I don’t need another mother,” he snapped at Rae, taking the last sack from her as she came in from the garage. “I can put away my own groceries.”

  She pulled back, her eyes going wide. He watched as the light of animation gave way to confusion and deep hurt. She started to say something, stopped, then left the kitchen.

  “Rae…”

  He’d been to the doctor and then to the store and she’d been waiting for him when he got home. He was tired, in pain and frustrated with what he couldn’t do. He didn’t need her doing one of the few things he could do.

  She didn’t deserve having her head bit off because he was in a foul mood.

  “Rae.” He found her sitting on the couch in the living room. He lowered himself into the chair opposite her, setting the cane down. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

  “If I help you, you get mad. If I don’t, I feel horrible.”

  He leaned his head back, hating the situation. He wanted her help, but resented it, too. “I know. I’ve been a bear with a sore head lately. I didn’t mean to snap.”

  “Can I at least fix dinner?”

  It pulled a half smile from him. “Would you settle for helping me fix it?”

  She bit her lip as she sighed. “Sure. The doctor’s news was bad?”

  “Nothing different than last time. Wait it out.” It was impossible to make light of how desperate he was to get some sustained improvement. There were few if any glimmers of hope.

  Kevin was right. He had to accept the limitations and learn to live with them. But he hated it, hated the implications of a life with this pain. Hated the cost he was going to have to pay.

  If he didn’t recover, they didn’t have a future together.