The Form of Things Unknown

  “What did you put in that?” I ask. I used to know my alcohol pretty well, but this is one I don’t recognize. Not sweet like rum. Not smoky like bourbon.

  “Just a little something special to get the pajama party started.” Starla knocks back half of her drink.

  I know I shouldn’t mix alcohol with my meds, so maybe I should just skip my pill tonight? I take another sip. It’s not so bad after all. Not really. “Crown?”

  Starla grins. “Good job!”

  Raine is smiling, too. I feel the warmth all the way down my throat and it makes me smile, as well. I know I’ll be fine without my pill for one night. It’s not like I really need them anyway.

  Just for tonight, I’ll skip. Just for tonight, I can pretend I’m a normal teenager and get drunk with my friends. I’ll go back on my medicine tomorrow and no one will ever notice the difference.

  CHAPTER 6

  So quick bright things come to confusion.

  —A Midsummer Night’s Dream, act 1, scene 1

  I have the feeling if I hang out with Raine and Starla all summer, I could get into lots of trouble. Or have lots of fun. Or maybe both.

  In some ways, they remind me of my friends in Athens. But they’ve been best friends for a long time, and I’ll probably never get to know them as well as I know Andria and Trista.

  But all the people at Athens High know about my time at Winter Oaks, and I don’t think I’d go back to school there now even if I could. I’d like to keep everyone here from knowing about my schizophrenia as long as possible.

  Peter is hanging out with us while we wait behind stage for our next scene. Raine grabs my hand and squeezes it. She wants to go to the Midsummer Night’s Ball with him so badly, and I’m worried she might be desperate enough to resort to some weird voodoo potion if he continues to ignore her.

  “Hey, Starla.” He doesn’t even see Raine standing there. “Are you doing anything tonight? Me and some guys are going to play video games at my house. Want to come over?” Ouch. Not only does he allegedly consume paste, he has atrocious grammar. What does Raine even see in him?

  Starla looks Peter up and down, checking him out. I guess he is sort of cute, in a short, impish sort of way. “That sounds like fun, but I’ve already got plans for tonight.” She sends a loaded, questioning glance at Raine. Oh Lord, is she going to invite everyone to their séance tonight?

  Apparently Raine doesn’t want her to, because she frowns and gives the slightest shake of her head.

  “Just the girls,” Starla says. “Sorry.”

  “Cool.” He nods his head and takes a swig of his Gatorade as he shuffles off. Starla rolls her eyes. When he’s gone, she shrugs at Raine.

  Frowning, Raine stomps off to the girls’ dressing room.

  “He’ll come around,” Starla says, even though Raine is already gone. Mrs. Green calls her to the stage for her scene with Lysander. Great. Ferris gets his chance to fawn all over Starla onstage because this is the scene where Puck reverses his love spell on Lysander and makes him fall in love again with Hermia. Ferris’s girlfriend, Maizy, is pouting in the front row.

  My next scene isn’t for several pages, so I head to the dressing room to see if Raine is okay.

  But she seems perfectly fine, texting on her phone and eating a bag of M&M’s. She smiles when she sees me. “We’re going to have so much fun tonight!” she says. “Colton told his aunt that we’re going to be working late on the set, painting flats. She’s leaving him the keys!”

  “How late do you think we’re going to be?” I ask. I’m hoping if I say I’m with David, my parents won’t mind me staying out late. I’m not crazy about the idea of the séance, but I’m happy to have any reason not to be stuck in the house with Mom and Grandma. I don’t even think Dad likes being at home right now. And I think Mom resents him for that.

  Raine shrugs. “It would be best if we don’t start until midnight. We can send someone out for food and we can eat while we wait for the witching hour.” Her eyes get big and she picks up her phone again. “And I know the perfect person.”

  “No, don’t take advantage of Lucas that way,” I say, peeking over her shoulder. She’s already started a text to him. “Besides, don’t y’all get tired of Italian?”

  She puts her phone down. “You’re right. And he probably has to take Caitlyn home. But we’ll figure out something. Maybe David will go grab us something?”

  “Probably.”

  She unzips her backpack so I can peek at the wooden Ouija board. It looks like a handmade piece. Not the Parker Brothers cardboard that I’m expecting. “Pretty,” I say, shuddering when I think about the movie they made me watch last night. It took me forever to fall asleep at Starla’s house, because I was certain there were demonic entities lurking in the shadowy corners of her bedroom.

  I don’t think I would have gotten any sleep at all if it hadn’t been for the alcohol.

  “Come on, we’d better head back out there before Dragon Lady comes looking for us,” Raine says.

  We go sit down out in the audience next to Lucas and Caitlyn, who’s begging her brother to let her spend the night with the twins.

  “Please? I’ll clean my room and feed Rufus before I go.”

  Lucas looks harassed. “But Dad doesn’t know Hailey and Bailey’s parents.”

  “But you do. Remember when you talked to their mom in the parking lot after auditions? And we saw them with their dad in the grocery store last weekend.”

  Lucas rubs his forehead and Raine giggles. “You know it will be fine,” she says. “She needs a girls’ night.”

  “Who’s Rufus?” I ask Caitlyn. I’m kinda hoping she actually has a naked mole rat for a pet.

  “My guinea pig. You can come home and meet him if you want. But not tonight. I’m going to Hailey and Bailey’s.”

  “I didn’t agree to anything yet,” Lucas says. But his sister is already giving him a hug that almost knocks him over.

  “I’ll tell them we’re bringing pizza. We can, right?”

  Lucas sighs as she skips off.

  Raine crosses her arms. “Well, if you’re getting pizza already. . .”

  “No,” I whisper, elbowing her in the ribs. And Lucas looks up at me. Really looks at me, for the first time since Winter Oaks. Or for the first time, actually. I don’t think he ever paid any attention to me there.

  It makes me uncomfortable.

  “What?” he asks, his hazel eyes wary. “Sounds like you two are plotting something.”

  “Well, we are. Actually,” Raine says. She ignores me as I elbow her again. “A few of us are staying here late tonight and were thinking about sending out for some dinner.”

  “We’re, um, painting some of the scenery,” I say, and ignore Raine as she elbows me back.

  “Right. We’re painting the scenery. Want to join us?” she asks. “Pizza optional, but always welcome.”

  “I already told Mrs. Green I’d be happy to help with the sets,” Lucas says, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “So, pepperoni or supreme?”

  Raine grins and twists one of her black curls around a finger. Is she flirting with him? “How about one of each?”

  “I can chip in,” I say.

  “We all will,” Raine says, even though I know it hadn’t even occurred to her. “Let me go grab my purse.”

  I get left alone here in the dark hallway with Lucas. “I need to get my purse, too,” I say and turn to leave.

  “Natalie, wait.” Lucas puts his hand on my arm. And just as quickly, he lets go of me. He looks flustered as he runs his hand through his hair. “Sorry, I just wanted to tell you not to worry about it. I’ve got the pizza covered.”

  I shake my head, trying to ignore the goose bumps his touch left on my bare arm. “You shouldn’t have to. We should all help out.”

  He shrugs. “As long as you guys don’t get tired of eating the same stuff day in and day out, I don’t mind.”

  “I don’t think I could ever get tired of pizza. Althoug
h the manicotti was divine, by the way.”

  “Glad to hear it.” Lucas smiles and something warm and fluttery twitches inside my chest as I watch him leave. My chest shouldn’t be doing that.

  * * *

  My brother, David, decides to stay with us for the séance. Mostly because Colton is staying, too.

  Lucas has returned, too, after taking Caitlyn home to get an overnight bag and then taking her over to the twins’ house. He’s brought a bag of chocolate chip cookies along with two boxes of pizza. He is the hero of the hour.

  He looks surprised to see no one painting, but when Starla pulls out the Ouija board, he doesn’t look upset. He shakes his head and calls us all crazy. “Ghosts can’t be real,” he says.

  “There are more things in heaven and earth, dear Lucas,” Starla says, patting him on the cheek, “than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

  Lucas looks from one person to the other, with an adorably confused look on his face.

  “Hamlet,” I say helpfully.

  “Of course,” he says, going back to his pizza.

  When we’re done eating, Starla makes us all gather around on the stage while Colton turns off all overhead lights except the one, the ghost light. The curtains are closed, so it’s quiet on the stage. Except for Raine’s hushed snickering and Starla’s giggling.

  Colton says all séances need liquor, so he pulls out a bottle of Bacardi for us to pour into our drinks. David frowns at me, so I sigh and reach for another cookie instead. Starla puts some rum in my cup when my brother isn’t looking.

  Raine lights a white candle and sets it on the floor. “Sandalwood, for protection,” she says, and then proceeds to rub a smelly oil on everyone’s forehead. I try not to sneeze.

  “Was your great-grandmother really a voodoo priestess?” I ask.

  Raine shrugs. “Maybe it was her sister. Or my great-great-grandmother. Just an old family tale about how we got the spirit board.”

  In the dim light, I can just see Colton cuddling up a little closer to David. My brother is finally making some progress.

  Starla places the board on the floor in front of the candle.

  The spirit board is hand-carved from yew wood, with runes carved along the edges. “Do you really think it will work with this many people?” Lucas asks.

  “Shhh,” Starla tells him.

  Everyone places a hand on the heart-shaped planchette and Raine begins to chant. She sprinkles some water on each of us. At least, I hope it’s just water. “Oh spirits, hear us tonight! We come to you in peace.”

  Oh dear Lord.

  David giggles. Colton elbows him.

  The tiny piece of wood begins to travel, first in random circles all over the board, then in square angles.

  The hair on the back of my neck stands up. Of course it could be because my fingers are just touching Lucas’s on the planchette.

  “Whom are we speaking with?” Raine asks.

  I hold my breath and my fingers grow bone-cold. The planchette begins to stop at letters. An L, then an I, then back to L, then Y.

  “Lily,” Starla says, her voice a little wobbly. Is she scared out of her mind, too? “How old are you?”

  The planchette jerks, then slides down to the number 5.

  “Aw, come on,” Lucas mutters.

  “Hush!” Starla says. “Lily, are you one of the theater ghosts who live here? How did you die?”

  D-O-N-O-T-A-S-K. Lucas and I look at each other. Lucas is not smiling. Neither am I.

  “Let’s ask her something easy,” Starla said. “Lily, will Raine get a date for the Midsummer Night’s Ball?”

  Y-E-S.

  “Oh, wicked! Who is it?”

  P-E-T-E-R.

  “Wicked!” Starla says, squealing. “See? I told you it would all work out! Lily, what about Natalie? Who is going to ask her to the ball?”

  My cheeks burn and I can’t look up at Lucas. Not because I’m thinking about the dance or anything. But because I’m staring at the words being spelled out.

  D-O-N-O-T-A-S-K.

  “Why not?” Raine asks, shocked.

  D-O-N-O-T-A-S-K.

  My stomach hurts. And I don’t think it’s because of the alcohol. This isn’t real. It’s all a game. Oh God. I’m starting to feel myself freaking out. What if it is real? I really think I saw a ghost in the curtains.

  Starla sighs and leans back. “All right. What else should we ask her?”

  I refuse to look up, even though I can feel everyone’s eyes staring at me. What’s so ominous about the dance that the ghost doesn’t want to talk about it? Or maybe she just doesn’t know. Lily is only five, after all.

  “I think we should thank her and close the board,” Raine says. She sounds like she’s getting uncomfortable. Possibly a little tired. Everyone looks a little spooked now. Except Lucas.

  I try to focus on his calm face. How the hell can he be so calm right now?

  There’s a loud crash behind us and we all jump back. One of the flats tips over, landing on top of the spirit board and the candle. Luckily the candle blows out and rolls away. I don’t know what would have happened if the flat had caught on fire.

  Colton is now sitting practically in David’s lap, his eyes wide with fear. Raine and Starla look shaken. “Someone didn’t want us to make contact tonight,” Colton says.

  I help Lucas put the flat back up as we hear the back door open. I hope he doesn’t notice my fingers shaking.

  “Kids? What’s going on in here?”

  Raine hides the candle in her purse before Mrs. Green can see. There’s nowhere to hide the spirit board. “Um, hi, Mrs. Green,” David says, shoving Colton off of him. “We were just trying to talk to the ghost we keep hearing about.”

  She frowns, sniffing the air. I know she can smell the burnt candle. “Oh, I could have told you about the ghosts. What do you want to know?”

  “Jeez,” Colton says. “How many are there supposed to be?”

  “Let’s see. I know of at least three of them. There’s the Russian actress and her baby. And the little girl.”

  “What little girl?” I ask, terrified now that my hallucination from last week has a name.

  “Back in the 1800s, there was a circus troupe that performed vaudeville acts in the theater. Il Diabolo Malevolo was a Romanian gypsy whose two daughters, Lily and Rose, performed the high wire act. Lily fell and broke her neck onstage one night. It’s her laughter you hear up in the rafters sometimes.”

  Everyone looks up above the stage and shivers. Raine and Starla couldn’t have known about Lily, could they? Maybe they’ve already looked up the theater history and were just trying to scare me. I have a sickening, twisty feeling in my stomach.

  “She plays her little tricks, and can be naughty at times,” Mrs. Green says. “What else would you expect from a five-year-old?”

  CHAPTER 7

  “None of that was real,” Lucas tells me, driving me home. I don’t even know how I ended up alone with him in his car, with David and Colton and the girls going Lord knows where. But I have a midnight curfew. And Lucas said he needed to get home, too. “Ouija boards aren’t real,” he says.

  I’m shivering, despite the fact that it’s a steamy 90 degrees outside tonight. The air conditioner in Lucas’s car isn’t even on. The car smells nice. Like pizza and Lucas’s cologne. “But what about what Mrs. Green said?”

  “Natalie, how much did you drink tonight?”

  Damn. “It’s not the alcohol. I wasn’t drinking when I saw the person behind the curtains a few days ago.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I sigh. Part of me feels like I can talk to Lucas. Because he was at Winter Oaks, too, and like it or not, there’s got to be some sort of psych patient bond. But the other part of me says no, I’m not sick anymore. And I don’t want Lucas to think of me that way. Don’t mention the hospital, Nat. Don’t mention the antipsychotics.

  “On the day of the auditions, I saw something behind the stage. I thou
ght it was a person, but it disappeared into thin air. Mrs. Green told Colton the place is haunted, so I thought I might have seen the ghost.”

  “Have you seen this ghost again?”

  I shake my head. “But tonight I could feel something on that stage with us. Could you feel anything strange? Did the hair on the back of your neck stand up?”

  “Not really. But then again, I’m not always an observant person.” He’s frowning again as he turns onto my street.

  I can’t believe he remembers my address from the pizza delivery last week. Maybe he’s noticed me after all?

  “Natalie, does your brother know you’re seeing ghosts? Have you told your parents?”

  Lucas thinks I’m hallucinating. The warm fluttery feeling in my chest suddenly turns cold and hard.

  “No, because I know what they’ll think. And I don’t want them worrying. They’ll pull me out of the play, and I can’t stay cooped up in this house all summer.” He’s parked behind my dad’s car on the side of the street. “Besides, David does know. And he believes me.”

  I don’t mean for that to sound hurtful or accusing, but somehow it makes Lucas sigh. I wait for him to say something like, “I believe you, too, Natalie,” or possibly, “I’m madly in love with you, Natalie,” but of course he doesn’t. Because that would be ridiculous. So I open the door and get out.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see him reach for me. But then he pulls his arm back and it’s too late. “See you tomorrow,” he says, putting both hands back on the steering wheel. “Take care.”

  “Thanks for the ride home,” I whisper, wishing I hadn’t been so quick to hop out. Wishing the ride had lasted a little bit longer. Even when he’s accusing me of hallucinating and being a lunatic, Lucas is really a nice guy.

  Who deserves a nice, sane girl. One without issues. I have to keep reminding myself of that. “See you,” I say.

  He waits until I unlock our front door before driving off. I walk inside to find I’m in the middle of an onslaught. Grandma has literally backed herself into a corner in the living room and is screaming at my mom for stealing her notebooks.