Tell Me Who I Am

  “Baron von Schumann will never betray his country; I don’t think that he will give me any useful information.”

  “Von Schumann and you are old friends so he should trust you.”

  “But he will never give me information that could compromise Germany.”

  “But you don’t need to ask him for that. Go to Berlin, look around, keep your ears open, and draw your own conclusions.”

  “Should I tell him that I am an agent?”

  “For your own safety and for his, the best thing is if you tell him nothing. You said yourself that he will never work with us. We need to find an alibi that will justify your presence in Berlin.”

  “Perhaps... well, I don’t know if it will help, but my father has business in Berlin, they confiscated his factory because his partner was Jewish, but the accountant saved several machines that he hires out, and a part of what he earns with them should go to my family...”

  “Excellent! There’s no better excuse to justify your presence in Berlin.”

  “How should I send you the information if I find out anything?”

  “You will write letters to a Spanish friend, superficial letters that, naturally enough, will contain coded messages.”

  “A Spanish friend?”

  “She doesn’t exist. You will send the letters to the address of a woman who works for us. She will send them on to us and we will decode them. You should only write when you have information.”

  “How long should I stay in Berlin?”

  “I don’t know. Do you think you could get there in a couple of days, or do you need more time to arrange your personal affairs?”

  “How should I go?”

  “First go to Lisbon. From Lisbon to Switzerland, and then catch a train to Berlin.”

  It was just after five when she got back to the apartment and she was surprised to find Albert in the library drinking whisky and listening to music.

  “What are you celebrating?” she asked, as Albert did not usually drink at this hour of the day.

  “I have a very good piece of news. Come on, I’ll pour you a drink, we have something to celebrate.”

  Amelia took the whisky he offered. She would need it to be able to give her the courage to tell him that she was going back to Berlin on her first mission for the British Secret Service.

  “My father called me to tell me that Rahel got to New York safely and that thanks to his friends he was able to sort out the immigration process with no problems. So now, thank heavens, she is safe with her family. Is that or is that not a good piece of news?”

  It was, and Amelia was happy, especially because she was afraid of what Albert’s reaction would be when she told him she was leaving. She took a large gulp of whisky and after chatting about Rahel for a while, she told him that she had something to tell him.

  “I hope it’s some more good news, I don’t want anything to spoil this happiness about Rahel.”

  “They’re sending me to Berlin; I’m leaving in two days’ time.”

  Albert kept looking at her without knowing what to say.

  “It had to happen one day or another,” he said, looking away from Amelia.

  “I didn’t think it would be so soon... I don’t know what to say.”

  “Nothing, you don’t have to say anything. It is difficult to love you, but I can’t stop loving you. I knew that our relationship would not be easy, right from the start, and I have always been scared of losing you. I need you so much... I will never forgive Uncle Paul for having convinced you to join the Secret Service, and if anything happens to you...”

  “Nothing’s going to happen to me. They just want me to go to Berlin, and try to find out if Hitler is going to invade England.”

  “Just like that! They know that it’s no mission for a girl. They should send experienced agents. How are you going to get that information?”

  “They want me to make contact with Max and his group. Don’t forget that Max is an officer in the army, so he must have access to certain information that could be useful for us.”

  “Come on, Amelia, don’t be naïve! Do you think Max will tell you what the army’s plans are? You really don’t know him, do you?”

  “I don’t understand... Max is a member of the opposition and he hates Hitler,” Amelia replied without much conviction.

  “Yes, and he will do whatever it takes to get rid of him, because he will never betray Germany. That’s what I think you haven’t understood.”

  Amelia did not know what to say. She knew that Albert was right. When Major Murray was explaining the mission to her it had not seemed all that complicated, but Albert was making her face up to reality.

  “I have to try.”

  “Yes, I suppose you have to try. And what about us?”

  “I don’t know what you mean...”

  “Are you planning on being a spy while I wait here praying that nothing happens to you, desperate for you to come back from each mission?”

  “I... I’m not planning anything, I’m not asking you to wait for me...”

  “I think you haven’t thought about me at all, and do you know why? Because you have never thought about me, I am just here for you, but if I weren’t then you wouldn’t mind too much one way or the other.”

  “Don’t say that! It’s not true! I... I love you, perhaps not how you want to be loved or how you deserve to be loved, but I love you, I love you in my way.”

  “That’s the problem, the way you love me.”

  Amelia Garayoa reached Berlin on June 10, the same day that Italy declared war on France and on the United Kingdom. She gave a sigh of relief when she left the train station. The police seemed not to care about her. She was just one more woman with a suitcase and a bag. Amelia tried to walk with a firm and decided pace. Major Murray had told her that if the Germans suspected her, then they would shoot her for being a spy.

  She went straight to the house of Helmut Keller, the accountant who had worked for her father and Herr Itzhak. She had worked out a clear plan over the last two days. She thought that she would ask Herr Helmut to rent her a room. She couldn’t afford to stay at the Hotel Adlon anymore, and she would feel safer living in a house; In any case, if he took her in then it would help her alibi, she could always say that she was an old friend of the family and show off the ties that bound them, ties of family and business.

  Herr Helmut was pleased to see her again. His wife, Greta, was still ill and he was looking after her, as well as dealing with all the household chores.

  “It’s a good thing that I can do most of my accounting work at home; if I had to go to an office I would not be able to look after Greta.”

  He was a little surprised at Amelia’s proposal, but he accepted her as a guest readily enough.

  “You don’t have to pay me anything, I make enough with what I earn.”

  “You would be doing me a great favor taking me in, I would feel very lonely in a hotel. I can’t pay you that much, but even a few marks would help you, I suppose, and of course I will contribute to the cost of my food, and help you look after your wife as much as I can.”

  Greta also made no objection to having Amelia as a guest. She felt sympathy for the young Spaniard, and also remembered her father, Don Juan, as a gentleman, as well as extremely generous. Also, she would have someone new to talk to, as she spent most of her time in bed. She had asthma, and got tired even after only walking a few yards.

  Amelia’s room was small; it had been a storeroom.

  “I wish you could stay in my son Frank’s room, but even though he doesn’t come here very often because he’s in the army, his mother wants to keep his room just as it was when he lived with us.”

  “I will be fine here, Herr Helmut, I don’t need that much, just a bed and a table and chair, the wardrobe is big and really I don’t need anything else.”

  Amelia explained that now that war had broken out between Germany and England, she was thinking of going back to Spain and looking for work, and b
ecause Germany was becoming the most powerful European nation, she had thought that she would perfect her German and try to get the old family business up and running again. Herr Helmut had saved some of the machines; maybe he could tell her how the business had worked before the war and what the chances were of setting it up again. She also hinted to them that she was trying to get over a personal crisis as well.

  Helmut accepted what Amelia had to tell him, although later he said to his wife that he was sure that Amelia was running away from a breakup, perhaps with that rich American journalist who had been with her the last time she came.

  The next afternoon, Amelia went to Professor Schatzhauser’s house. She thought that the best thing would be to get in touch with the head of the opposition group rather than directly with Max.

  Professor Schatzhauser did not seem too surprised to see her. He invited her through to his office and offered her a cup of tea.

  “Do you have news from London? Are they going to take us seriously?” he asked her without beating around the bush.

  “We told them everything you told us. Of course, the thing they are most worried about is whether Hitler has plans to invade England.”

  “Of course, the English are always most worried about things that might concern them. That’s always the way of it.”

  “Well, it’s difficult for them to help you if they can’t help themselves, isn’t it?”

  “And what about your friend, Mr. James? Why isn’t he here?”

  “Albert is a journalist and limits himself to describing the things that he sees. His articles in the English and American press have had a significant impact. He talks about the danger posed by Hitler and has stirred up a real storm in the United States, because there are still people there who think that what happens in Europe does not concern them.”

  “So you are working for the British and Albert James is not. A shame! He seemed to me the sort of man you could trust. You are very young, and you’re Spanish, how come you are working for the British?”

  “Oh, I am not working for the British! I am just a messenger. And if I am doing this it is because I am Spanish, and hope that this war will help us to get rid of Franco!”

  “Do you think that the war will move to Spain as well?”

  “I want you to get rid of Hitler, and I think that with Hitler out of the way, then Franco will be left without his main ally after Il Duce.”

  “A very admirable goal, but allow me to say that I don’t much trust that it will happen.”

  “I don’t have absolute faith that it will happen either, but I can’t just stand around with my arms folded.”

  “Well, tell me what your friends in London want and I’ll tell you what we want from them.”

  Amelia was vague enough not to commit to anything nor to ask for things that she knew she would not receive. Her mission had very little to do with Karl Schatzhauser’s opposition group. Major Murray had ordered her, via Max von Schumann, to find out as much as she could about the movements of the Wehrmacht. This was why she had to pay attention to Professor Schatzhauser’s group.

  Professor Schatzhauser asked her to come to dinner with him the next evening.

  “We are meeting at a friend’s house, Max and Father Müller will be there: He will always be grateful to you and Mr. James for what you did for Rahel. He is delighted that she is safe and sound in New York.”

  Amelia was surprised by the happiness and carefree nature that appeared to be a constant of Berlin life. The women still walked the streets with their children, unaware of any devastation elsewhere, the cabarets were still full to bursting and the shop windows were filled with enticing displays.

  Even in London people were aware of the war, and the evacuation of the soldiers from Dunkirk had been received with anxiety and stress.

  On the way back to Herr Helmut’s house, Amelia went into a shop to buy tea and teacake as a treat for Frau Greta. Helmut’s wife seemed to be well disposed toward her.

  Amelia told herself that it had been the right thing to do to stay in that house. It let her pass more unobserved, even though in those days Berlin was a city of thousands of eyes, all of them looking into people’s private spaces.

  Greta was pleased with the tea and the teacake, and suggested to Amelia that they eat it together. Herr Helmut was not yet home, he was taking the books to a shop whose accounts he kept. He worked as much as he could to support his family, and in particular to pay for his wife’s expensive medicine.

  Professor Schatzhauser came to the Kellers’ house to pick up Amelia. Herr Helmut opened the door and invited him in, but Amelia was ready, so she left straight away.

  Amelia had explained to the Kellers that Professor Schatzhauser was an old friend of her father’s, who had offered to help her with whatever she needed during her stay in Berlin.

  Professor Schatzhauser drove an old black car and seemed not to be in a very talkative mood.

  “Are you worried about anything?” Amelia asked.

  “Max has told me that there will be two important guests, Admiral Canaris and Colonel Hans Oster, at the meal. They are important men because of their high position in the military hierarchy, and also because of their social position.”

  “What will you say about me?”

  “Nothing that they shouldn’t know, although of course they will try to find out by their own considerable means as much as they can about you.”

  “Is that dangerous?”

  “I hope not, we hope not, they have even helped us on a few occasions in the past. In any case, my dear, there is nothing better than telling the truth, and given that you are in Berlin on a very honorable mission, that of recovering the family business, then we shouldn’t worry at all, should we?”

  Manfred Kasten’s house was near Charlottenburg. It was a two-story neoclassical building, set in a garden filled with willows and fir trees.

  Frau Kasten, their host’s wife, met them at the door: She was past sixty, tall and thin with white hair.

  “Professor Schatzhauser, what a pleasure to see you again! And you have a lovely companion... Come in, come in. You will find Manfred in the library with a friend of his, Baron von Schumann. I hope that you enjoy yourselves this evening and that you don’t get caught up in political discussions. Can you promise me you’ll behave yourselves?”

  Helga Kasten smiled and offered them each a glass of champagne. And then she left them, to look after other guests.

  The professor took Amelia’s arm and headed to the library, but Ludovica von Waldheim met them en route.

  “Goodness, Professor Schatzhauser and la Señorita Garayoa! I didn’t know you were in Berlin...”

  “I’ve just arrived.”

  “Have you left rich Mr. James? I wouldn’t have done that if I were you, there aren’t that many men like him in the world.”

  “Albert has some business to attend to, but he will come to join me as soon as he can.”

  “And how come he has allowed you to travel alone?”

  “I was invited here by some old friends of my father’s. My father had a business importing German machinery, and I am going to try to see if I can get the family business up and running again,” Amelia said, a little disconcerted by the interrogation to which Ludovica was submitting her. “And how is your husband, the baron?”

  “My husband is well, thank you very much. He’s talking politics with his friends in the library at the moment. Are you interested in politics?”

  “Only the bits I can’t escape from, Baroness.”

  “I like that! Men get all wrapped up in it and can’t enjoy life at all. You have to come to our house, we’ll talk about the things that interest us, alright?”

  “That sounds wonderful.”

  “You’re staying at the Adlon, aren’t you?”

  “No, I said that some friends of my father invited me to stay with them.”

  “Well, tell me when it would be good for us to meet,” Ludovica said as she walked away.
r />   “Be careful with the baroness,” Professor Schatzhauser said. “It’s quite clear that she doesn’t trust you.”

  “I don’t trust her either.”

  “That’s just as well, if she knew about what we do she would be sure to inform on us to the authorities.”

  “She wouldn’t do that, she would have to denounce her husband as well.”

  “If the time came she might just do that. She’s a committed Nazi. It was risky of Max to bring her to the party, but I suppose he had no option, she is his wife after all.”

  Admiral William Canaris was a charming man, who appeared to be reading Amelia’s thoughts as he gazed into her eyes. He showed an advanced knowledge of the situation in Spain, and asked her several subtle questions aimed at discovering which side she was on.

  Colonel Hans Oster also appeared to be interested in Amelia, whose presence at the dinner could not fail to draw people’s attention.

  Both men seemed to be very much connected with each other, and they shared glances over the heads of the other guests. If Amelia had expected to hear any criticism of the Nazi Party then she was to be disappointed, for nothing that either of the two men said gave any hint that they were anything other than entirely in agreement with the Führer.

  Amelia was extremely happy to meet Father Müller again, the priest who had entrusted Rahel to their care, and she took the chance to speak with him away from the rest of the guests.

  “I will never be able to thank you for all you have done. It is a real relief to know that Rahel is safe and sound.”

  “Tell me one thing, Father. Do you think that there are enough Germans who oppose Hitler?”

  “What a question! I wish I could tell you that there are many thousands of us who see the danger that Hitler poses, but I fear that this is not the case. Germany only wants to be great again, to take the place that was taken away from them after the war.”