Love Will

  “Hi!” I hear a woman say. It’s followed by multiple giggles.

  I close my eyes and take a breath, fearing another challenge I’m not prepared to face.

  “So you escaped jail, I guess…” Ben says. “That was quite some indecent exposure, though…” I look out the window next to the TV to see the black limo we’d passed earlier parked next to us.

  “We got off with a warning… not all of the Pennsylvania cops are on the straight and narrow, if you know what I mean.”

  “Good to know,” he says. “How’d you find us?”

  “Big tour bus, right off the highway… hard to miss. So there are seven of us… you said you only needed five, though…” I turn around to look at Peron’s ashen face. He’s vehemently shaking his head.

  “Seven’s even better!” Ben says. “Damon and Tavo are in the club… you ladies want to come with me?”

  “Where’s Will?” one of them asks.

  I don’t even look his way, because I know how he’s going to answer.

  “He’s right here. Will? You have some visitors.” I glance at Peron first, then finally over at our manager with my hands poised to catch the shirt he’s holding. Instead, he tosses it to the front of the bus.

  “Nice,” I say to him as he welcomes all seven of the girls onto our bus.

  “I’ll be back with Damon momentarily,” Ben says as he leaves us alone with the women. If I were to guess from their behavior in the limo and their dress here in front of us, I’d say they were strippers. Feeling a little overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of them, I skip over my usual questions and head to the important one.

  “How’s everyone tonight?” I ask, walking toward them confidently with a smile that always wins women over.

  They answer with “fine” or “good” or “better now that we found you.”

  “That’s great. Do you all know Peron?”

  “Hey, Peron!” they seem to sing together. He looks petrified with fear. I’m sure he is. Brooke would not approve of this.

  “I’ve got one question for you all… who’s already had a little too much to drink tonight?” Again, I smile, encouraging them to fess up. I’m met with a few giggles and five raised hands. “You two… what’s up? Not drinking tonight?” I ask the only ones who didn’t answer in the affirmative.

  “Just taking it slow,” one says.

  “I like to remember what goes on,” the other admits.

  “Cool. Well… I think you ladies,” I say, pointing to the other five, “are probably about matched for Damon and Tavo at this point. Make yourselves at home. You two… would you like to join me and Peron in the back room?”

  “Will…” Peron says.

  I ignore him, scratching the fine trail of hair beneath my navel as I stretch.

  “Sure!” the two girls say.

  “Nice,” I respond with a sly grin, walking toward the freezer and pulling out a frozen strawberry daiquiri mixer that Tavo insisted we bring along for such an occasion. “What do you even add to this?” I whisper to Peron.

  “Rum,” he says, “and ice.” I gather everything and the blender, handing a bucket of ice to one of the women and lead them both to the back room–which, coincidentally, is Ben’s sleeping quarters. He’d offered it to our lead singer–the whole reason we’re on tour–but Damon insisted he wanted to be a part of the songwriting process, and he knew being close to me and Peron was integral to that.

  As I wait by the door, ready to close it behind us, I notice Peron still lingering next to his bunk, wavering. “Peron, come on. And bring some crackers. Stat.”

  “I’m not hungry,” he says, holding his hand over his stomach as if he’s going to be sick.

  “Don’t worry. We’re not eating them.” He reaches into the cabinet and pulls out a sleeve of Saltines, then grabs his glasses on the way to the room. I make sure to lock the door behind us. “So, ladies,” I say after plugging in the blender, “what are your names?”

  “Julia and Darci,” Julia says, pointing to herself and then to her friend.

  “It’s nice to meet you both.” I walk over to Ben’s closet and rummage through his shirts, finding a nice, crisp, white button-down, still in the bag from the cleaners. He’s not as muscular as I am, and his arms are a little shorter, so I have to leave the cuffs undone, but I’m not worried about the fit. I don’t bother buttoning any of the other buttons, either, which seems to make Julia and Darci happy.

  While Peron busies himself making drinks for the girls and presumably for himself, I sit down on the bed and invite them to do the same. Nervously, they join me. “I don’t want to disappoint you both, but uh… the fun I intend to have in here is going to be a bit on the childish side tonight.”

  They both look at me, a little unnerved.

  “No, nothing kinky. Nothing sexual, actually. And you’re welcome to go hang out with Damon and Tavo if you’d rather, but I was wondering if you’d like to… I don’t know… jump on the bed, for a little bit? With your daiquiris? And some crackers?”

  “Are you going to join us?” Julia asks.

  “I don’t drink, but fuck, yes, I’m gonna jump as hard as I can on this bed. I didn’t do enough of it as a child, and it’s just time I–”

  “This is that other guy’s bed, isn’t it?” Darci asks. “The one who let us in?”

  I bite my lip and raise a brow sheepishly.

  “I’m a psych major. There was definite tension between you two.”

  Peron hands each of the girls a drink and takes one for himself. “May I, Peron?” I ask, grabbing his cup.

  “But–”

  I squint my eyes before pouring half of the drink over the left sleeve of Ben’s shirt, careful not to get any on my shorts but letting it drip on the light blue, down comforter. “God, that’s fucking freezing!”

  I hand the rest of the daiquiri back to my friend, who’s fighting off a smile. I know he’s just as pissed as I am at Ben for inviting these women onto the bus. He opens up the crackers and hands me a fistful after I pull back the comforter, and I climb up onto the bed, still in my tennis shoes. “It’s pretty sturdy, really…” Everyone else follows my lead after drinking some of their beverages, just so they’re not sloshing all of their drinks on to the bed. We don’t want to get too crazy.

  We all make sure to crumble up the crackers, and just in case there were any large pieces, they’re sufficiently stomped out by our jumping. Honestly, I hadn’t thought this through, because seeing these women jumping on the bed like this has got me a little more turned on than I wanted to be.

  “Will!” Bang! Bang! Bang! That door doesn’t sound very well made at all.

  “Yes, Ben?”

  “What are you doing in my room?”

  “Entertaining our guests.”

  “I swear to God, if you’re fucking in there…”

  “Don’t worry. You’ll never be able to tell where we did it!” I yell through the door.

  “Get out.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Get. Out!”

  “I’m not done yet!”

  “Will?” Damon calls out to me. “That vein in his neck’s about to pop.”

  I jump off the bed and open the door. “You really need to have that checked out, Ben.”

  He looks beyond me into his room. “What did you do to my bed?”

  “We just had a little snack, that’s all. Sorry ‘bout the mess.”

  “Yeah, sorry,” Julia says, following me out of the room.

  “Sorry,” Darci says.

  Peron doesn’t say a word.

  “Hold it!” Ben says. “Is that my Hugo Boss shirt?”

  “What, this?” I ask him, shrugging out of the ill-fitting button-down. “I mean, man, you took my shirt, so, I just borrowed one of yours…”

  “Did you spill something on it?”

  “I was just doing my job, Ben. Just doing my job.” I ball up the shirt and pitch it to him the way my brother taught me. Julia’s nails are immediately
scraping down my bare chest, eliciting a sharp intake of air into my lungs. I forgot how much I missed that feeling. My hands find their way to her hips as I pull her into my body, my back leaning against the bunks in the middle of the tour bus. I sigh, torn.

  I can feel Peron trying to get my attention, but I know what he’s trying to tell me. I close my eyes and bend down to kiss the girl in front of me. When I pull away, I look at the half-full, ice-cold, fruity beverage that she still holds in one hand. I want that hand on my body, too.

  “Are you going to finish that?” I whisper in her ear before kissing her neck just beneath it.

  “Did you want it?”

  I shake my head and take it from her, walking the short distance to the kitchen and pouring it down the sink. Normally, I wouldn’t waste it in case she wanted it afterward, but I don’t want it ending up in my bed if Ben decides to get revenge.

  I open the curtain to my bunk, inviting her entry first. I scan her body as she climbs in, not even sorry that I checked out the panties she was wearing underneath her skirt. I’m pretty sure she expected me to, based on the indelicate way she crawled in. I catch Peron’s eye just as I pull the smoke-stained fabric back in place to hide our activities. He doesn’t look disappointed in me; he looks sad for me.

  Fuck, Peron.

  Julia puts her hand on my shoulder, laying me flat against my bed and crawling on top of me. “Ever done it on a tour bus?” she asks me as she straddles my legs and moves against my quickly-growing erection very slowly. I hold her hips still as she swings her long hair to one side and presses her lips to my cheek.

  “I can’t say that I have. The band van, yes… but not a tour bus.”

  “That makes two of us,” she says.

  “Wait,” I tease, moving my hands up her shirt and holding her just below her breasts, “you’ve had sex in our band van, too? With whom?”

  She laughs lightly, moving my hands up for me and resuming the motion of her lower body. All of my muscles relax into the bed as we start to kiss deeply. She undoes my shorts, and I make a little noise to get her attention. She looks at me, her face still close to mine.

  I smile at her, quirking a brow. It’s a sexy smile. When I was a teenager, I’d perfected the look in the mirror. Now, it’s second nature. She laughs and blushes. I know this one look gets women every time. “Hey,” I whisper to her.

  “Hey,” she whispers back.

  “Can I ask you a couple questions before we do this?”

  “Sure,” she says.

  “When’s the last time you were with someone… like this?”

  “Like, a one-night stand?”

  I shake my head. “Not necessarily, no.”

  “Oh… three weeks ago.”

  “Cool…” I do the look again. She moves in for another kiss.

  “Was that it?”

  “Almost,” I say, kissing her neck before I ask the next question. “When was the last time you were tested?” I move away a little to see her reaction. Girls react in all kinds of ways when I ask, but it’s practical, and nine times out of ten, if they’re even half-sane, we get past it just fine.

  “Ummm…” Julia looks up, calculating the dates in her head. “Six months ago? I’m clean.”

  “Good. Two months. Me, too,” I tell her, kissing her again briefly so I can look into her eyes for the next question. “You ever go without a rubber?”

  She diverts her eyes for a split second, but it’s enough to give me the honest answer I want. “I mean… no. I don’t think so. No… but if you want to, I’m on the pill.”

  I hate it when that’s the answer. The lie of saying ‘no’ when I know they have is one thing. The suggestion of making that exception for me is actually off-putting. Like I’m the only guy she’d make that exception for. Every time I’m propositioned like this, I have to find a polite way to back out of everything we’re doing.

  I don’t mind, though. It’s the reason I ask in the manner I do… in a way, I am setting them up for that, because it could be interpreted as an invitation from me. I have to protect myself first and foremost.

  “As tempting as that sounds, Julia, I wouldn’t want to take any unnecessary risks.” In the confined space we have, I cautiously turn over so she’s on her back and I’m on top of her. I figure I can still give her something she wants without going all the way. I move her skirt up and finish taking off my shorts, leaving my boxers in place. When her fingers wrap around the waistband, I take her hands in one of mine and pin them over her head with it. With my other hand, I adjust her shirt so I can see her bra to unfasten it, touching and kissing her freely. With her quickened breathing and moans, I know she’s enjoying it.

  Moving her legs apart with mine, I drag my body against hers slowly, pressing hard. Fucking torture. What the fuck am I gonna do when she’s done? Be in pain and fucking miserable for hours, I suppose.

  Better than catching something. I keep reminding myself of that as I get more turned on, watching her.

  “I want you, Will,” she begs.

  “Can’t do that tonight, Julia,” I tell her quickly, and I’m sure she can hear the conflict in my voice. My words say one thing, but my tone says something completely different. “This is as much as I can give you.” I shake my head, looking remorseful before I dip my head into the crook of her neck and kiss her some more. She wrestles her hands free from mine and scrapes her nails down my back. “Ahhh, fuck.” Our bodies move together in sync with one another. She tucks her hands beneath my boxers and grips my ass tightly, pulling me into her harder with each thrust. It’s apparently what she needs to get off, because tiny squeaks start to escape her lips before she tells me to go faster.

  God, I may come just like this, and I haven’t come dry humping someone in years. I imagine myself buried deep insider her and groan, increasing my speed as she grinds against me.

  “Oh, Will,” she says softly first. “Will,” she says again.

  “Julia,” I say back go her, propping myself up on my hands to get better leverage. I’m not going to last much longer at all. I feel the constriction and warmth and know the release is coming soon.

  “Will!” she shouts. “Will! Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Will! God! Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, just stay right there… stop.” When I hear the word, I’m trained to do just that.

  I open my eyes and look down at her, my movements ceased. Her hands haven’t moved; they’re still gripping my firm cheeks and holding me tightly to her. She continues to rock against me a little, but she’s completely in control… and she’s not moving enough to let me finish.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask her.

  “Just sensitive… that’s all,” she says, “but that was amazing.”

  I lick the sweat from my top lip, then bite down on the bottom one. “Can I move now?” I ask, short of breath.

  “Depends on where…”

  “Just need to rest my arms,” I tell her. “I’ll move to the side, if you want…”

  “That’d be good.” Fuck. And why was this a good idea? Gingerly, I climb over her and lie on my side, adjusting myself and trying to ignore the throbbing ache as I focus on my breathing. If she offers me some facetime, I’m not turning her down. No fucking way.

  I squeeze my eyes shut, making sure to make my discomfort visible to Julia. She pushes her skirt and shirt back down and smacks my sunburned forearm with the flick of her hand, making me wince in more pain. “Too bad that’s all you could give me,” she says, swinging her legs out of the bunk and ducking beneath the curtains.

  I stare at the space she vacated next to me, feeling a bit like she cut me off on purpose. Rolling on my back, I kick the bottom of Damon’s bed, needing to get my aggression out on something. He’s just a few feet away with Tavo, Ben and all the women now. There’s no way in hell I’m taking care of this problem on my own with ten people right outside my sleeping quarters. Eleven, if Peron’s still around. I’m assuming he’s hiding out across from me in his own bunk.

  Suck it
up, Will.

  I pull my shorts back on, and when I get out of my bunk, I’m met with a round of applause. Without looking at anyone, I wave one hand toward them and smile as I dig through the drawer under my bed for another t-shirt. My Radiohead one hits me in the head. I check it out to make sure Ben hasn’t taken out his anger on it, but it’s fine. After slipping it on, I turn around.

  “Peron.” He doesn’t answer me. “Peron!” I say louder. He still doesn’t respond, and I’m sure he’s got his headphones in at this point, needing to block out all the noise around him. Not wanting to reach into his bunk, I find my phone and text him. His skinny legs appear before the rest of him does, and he nods to me, stepping out and following me toward the door.

  “Where’re you two going?” Ben asks.

  “Out,” I say simply, knowing I don’t have to answer to him. He may be the manager, but ultimately, Damon’s the only one I need to explain anything to. “Good night, ladies. Damon, Tavo, we’ll be back.”

  “That’s cool,” Damon says.

  Before we left on the tour, we had a meeting to discuss how we were going to survive living in such close quarters for months on end. We’d all agreed it would be imperative for the band members to give one another space when we needed it, and Damon knows when I need it. He’d known me since high school and we’d been roommates since college.

  Chapter 3

  “Excellent show you put on in there,” Peron says. “I thought this was a new you, Will. It’s the first night, man…”

  “I didn’t have sex with her.” He glares at me out of the corners of his eyes. I shake my head. “I didn’t. Do you not see me walking like I have a fucking grapefruit between my legs?”

  “I just figured you pulled something. The bunks aren’t really accommodating for two people, are they?”

  “I got blue-balled, man. Kind of by my own doing, but whatever,” I admit. “Wanna grab a bite?” I ask him, seeing an all-night diner a block away.

  “That’s fine.”

  As my bandmate finds us a seat, I go to the restroom to wash my hands and face. The redness on my cheeks, nose and arms has gotten worse as the night’s progressed. Although I know I’d be in more pain right now, I wish I’d played the outdoor gig shirtless. As it stands, I’ll have this farmer’s burn or tan or whatever until I can find a way to get more sun to even it out. It was a fund raiser for Livvy’s uncle’s charity, though, so it wouldn’t have been appropriate.