Life After Taylah

  “Avery, you’ve been late, you’ve been distant and you’re not yourself.”

  I sigh. “Max is back in town, Lyn.”

  She lifts her eyes. “What?”

  “He’s back in town and he’s reopened Mom’s case.”

  Her eyes soften instantly. “Oh, honey.”

  “It’s just been hectic, between that and leaving Jacob. I’ve just been distracted.”

  “I’m so sorry about your mom’s case. It must be hard having it all raised again.”

  “It never really closed, it just got put on the backburner. I’m glad it’s being brought to light again. If I can have an answer that might put my mind at rest, then I’ll take it.”

  “I understand that.” She nods, turning to the group. “Okay girls, let’s start where we left off last session.”

  ~*~*~*~

  “There’s a very good looking man standing at the door staring at you,” Lyn says when the lesson is over and the girls are getting changed.

  I turn quickly and see Nate standing at the door, leaning against the frame. He’s got a sexy half-grin on his face, and the helmet for his bike is tucked up under his arm. He’s still wearing that sexy-as-hell motocross outfit. My heart leaps into my throat and a smile spreads across my face.

  “That’s just a friend,” I manage, unable to pull my eyes from Nate.

  “Some friend,” Lyn murmurs. “You did good today, Avery. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I nod, not looking at her as I walk towards Nate. His grin gets bigger as I near closer.

  “Hey, you,” I say, stopping in front of him.

  “You got work this afternoon?”

  I shake my head.

  “Good. You’re coming with me.”

  “Am I now?”

  He leans down and takes my hand, tugging me out the door. “You are.”

  We get outside and I see his bike leaning against a tree. “There are parks, you know?”

  He laughs and pulls me closer. I feel the heat radiating off the engine when I step close. He must have given it a good workout this morning.

  “My baby doesn’t like parks.”

  “Ohhh, your baby,” I tease. “Your baby is a bit battered.”

  He turns to me, his eyes warm, but he doesn’t touch me. He doesn’t lean in and kiss me, or hold me close, because I know he can’t. My chest seizes a little at that thought. Knowing he can’t and won’t touch me in public, that there’s a chance we’ll never just be able to walk down the street holding hands, absolutely kills me. He sees my expression and his face loses its light and happy shine.

  “Stop thinking it, Dancer. I know you are, so just stop.”

  “I’m not thinking anything,” I whisper.

  “You’re thinking that you’ll never have me the way you want, and I’m telling you to stop.”

  I look up at him. Damned mind-reader.

  “Stop because it’ll never happen and there’s no point in dwelling on it, or stop because it will happen?”

  He gives me a soft, pained expression. “You’re asking a question I can’t answer right now. If you don’t want this, walk away now. I won’t follow you. I will respect your choice.”

  “You know I can’t do that,” I say, my voice low and soft. “I can’t walk away from you, Nate.”

  He steps forward and strokes his fingers down my cheek. “Then get on the bike and let me show you something.”

  I stare at the bike, then back to him. “Is that thing street legal?”

  He barks out a laugh and rolls his eyes. “On the biker, Dancer.”

  I sigh. “Fine, let’s do it.”

  He hands me a helmet off the back and I pull it on over my face. He does the same and then climbs onto the bike, kick-starting it. It purrs to life, loud and angry, as if it just wants to go fast. He reaches his hand out and I take it, using it to pull myself over the bike behind him. I wrap my arms around his waist and he takes off. I squeal with delight as he zips through the traffic.

  We ride for about an hour until he reaches a dirt road on the left of the highway. He turns onto it suddenly, and our smooth ride quickly becomes bouncy and adrenaline-filled. I scream and close my eyes as he picks up speed, tearing down the road as if it’s the easiest thing in the world for him. He weaves around a few trees and launches over a few small bumps in the road.

  “Nate,” I yell, laughing. “Oh my God!”

  He laughs, boisterous, and so incredibly boyish.

  He skids around a corner, flicking rocks to the side as he brings us closer to a large lake. I stare at the gorgeous water as he begins to slow the bike, and my smile widens. It’s gorgeous, a large lake surrounded by trees, lush grass and rocks. It’s a perfect day out today and the sun is shining. Combined with the gorgeous scenery, it couldn’t be more breathtaking.

  Nate brings the bike to a stop and we both get off. I put my helmet onto the ground and walk over to the water, my smile not once slipping. Birds swoop down, skimming the surface, and there’s a cool breeze. It’s stunning. Nate comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his lips to my ear. “I love this place. It’s where I come to think.”

  “I can see why,” I murmur, taking his hands in mine.

  “Sit with me.”

  He pulls me down onto the grass, tucking my bottom in between his legs. He keeps his arms around me, and rests his chin on my shoulder. We stare at the water for the longest time, not thinking about anything else except the beauty and serenity of this place.

  “Tell me your best memory of your mom,” he says, pressing a kiss to my shoulder.

  “I have a few. One of my favorites is my fifth birthday. I remember it well. She asked me for months and months beforehand what I wanted for my birthday—I kept telling her I wanted a fairy. She asked me what I meant; perhaps I meant a fairy doll, but I told her no, I just wanted a fairy. On the day she woke me up, dressed in a fairy outfit. I remember laughing for so long with her, thinking all my dreams had come true as she led me through the fairy garden she’d spent all night creating. It was perfect.”

  He’s quiet a moment, before he whispers, “She sounds like she was an amazing mother.”

  I smile. “She was. It’s why it was so hard to lose her.”

  “I can’t imagine living with that kind of pain, not knowing if she’s okay must be so fuckin’ hard.”

  “It was. It is,” I say, my voice low. “I used to have nightmares about it every night.”

  “You turned out well, considering.”

  I laugh softly. “You mean I didn’t run off the rails?”

  “Exactly.”

  “I couldn’t. My brother was doing a good job of that. I couldn’t add to it.”

  He runs his fingers up and down my arms. “Your brother struggles, yeah?”

  “Yeah. He always has.”

  “It’s not easy.”

  “No,” I say, taking his hand and pressing it to my lips. “What about your family?”

  He runs his nose up my neck, causing me to shudder. “Crazy, loud, full-on.”

  “Is that all you’re going to give me?” I gasp as he drags his tongue along my flesh.

  “Mmmm,” he hums against my skin. “What do you want to know?”

  “Are they like you?”

  “Exceptionally talented and handsome?”

  I giggle. “Modest much?”

  He chuckles. “Well, you’ve met Keanu. He’s nothing like me.”

  I pout and nod my head. “He’s not, is he? Why is that?”

  “Keanu is passionate. He’s dedicated to his career, and he leaves room for nothing else.”

  “You’re passionate too, Nate. It’s more than that. He’s so . . .”

  “Broody? Fierce?”

  “Yeah.” I nod, stretching my legs out. “He barely says two words.”

  “That’s just Keanu. He’s always been the dark, silent type.”

  “It gets him in with the ladies, I suppose.”

  Nate laughs. ?
??I hear he fucks like a Trojan. At least, that’s what the 365,000 ladies he’s fucked have told me.”

  “Well,” I whisper, putting his fingertip in my mouth and sucking it gently before releasing it. “That you two do have in common.”

  Nate rumbles against me and his mouth finds my flesh again. “Is that so?”

  “It’s so,” I breathe, loving the feeling of his hard body surrounding mine.

  He sucks on my neck gently and I tremble, tangling my fingers into his and putting them in my lap. He continues to suck and lick down my neck until he reaches my shoulder.

  “You want to be fucked by the water, baby?”

  I gasp when his hands pull from mine and cup my breasts. He gently massages, causing little tinges to shoot through my body. As much as I want him to take me by the water, I want something else more. I pull from his arms and turn, sliding my body down so I’m on my belly. I reach out and take hold of his pants, looking up at him with a lustful expression.

  “What’re you doin’?” he murmurs, watching as I unbutton his pants.

  “I want to taste you.”

  “Shit,” he groans when I reach inside his pants and wrap my hand around his already aching cock.

  My sex jerks to life and my hands tremble as I free him, exposing him to me. He has a beautiful cock, long and hard, just the right thickness. I lean down and rub the smooth skin of his head against my cheek. He moans above me and his fingers find my hair. He threads them through it, tugging just slightly. I press my lips to his cock and he jerks with anticipation. He slides a hand down to my mouth and slips his thumb in at the corner, parting my lips.

  “Don’t tease me, darlin’,” he rasps. “Suck.”

  So demanding. My body aches for him. I part my lips and slide the tip of his cock into my mouth. He hisses and his body arches up, pressing him further. I slide my mouth down further, taking him as deep as I can. I swirl my tongue up and down the vein on his shaft, keeping my lips tight. His groaning becomes ragged and his fingers tighten in my hair.

  “Shit. So fuckin’ sweet.”

  I move quicker, bobbing my head up and down, sucking him in as deeply as I can take him. I feel him bumping the back of my throat. I close my eyes, trembling all over as I feel his cock swell in my mouth.

  “I’m goin’ to come, Dancer, fuck . . .”

  I don’t take my mouth away. Instead, I suck him harder and faster. His groaning gets louder and louder until his hips do a final jerk and I feel him explode into my mouth, hot bursts of come sliding down my throat. I swallow all of him, sucking and licking until there’s nothing left. He slumps backwards, holding himself up on his elbows as I pull back, kneeling in front of him and grinning.

  “You sucked that like a boss,” he rasps.

  I burst out laughing, shaking my head from side to side at his comment. “A boss? Really? You felt that was the most appropriate comment at a time like this?”

  He chuckles and looks over at me. “Seriously, you just took that shit like a pro. Are you a pro?” He cocks his eyebrow at me.

  “No, I’m not a pro. I just . . . I like it.”

  “That’ll be a damned first.”

  “You’re to tell me no other women have enjoyed having their mouth on your cock?”

  “Baby,” he murmurs, staring at the sky. “Firstly, if you say cock again I’m going to flip you over and fuck you. Secondly, of course I’ve had women enjoy my dick, but nothing like that.”

  “That’s what they all say.” I laugh, twisting and dropping down beside him.

  He snorts and rolls towards me, pulling his pants back up. He pulls me into his arms and tucks me into his chest.

  “It’s nice out here,” I say, sighing with contentment.

  “It makes me happy,” he says, stretching out.

  I am just relaxing into his arms when his phone begins to ring in his pocket. He stares down at it and I see Lena’s name flashing on the screen. He stiffens and untangles himself from me, sitting up and staring at it.

  “You can answer it,” I say, my heart aching. “I’ll be silent.”

  He looks at me, his eyes flashing with pain. I turn away, unable to take his expression, the way he’s so torn. You’ll never be number one. Never. I hear him click the answer button and say, “Yeah?”

  He’s silent for a moment.

  “Macy, why have you got Mommy’s phone, honey?”

  Macy is ringing him? How does a three-year-old ring him?

  “What do you mean Mommy won’t wake up?”

  He’s on his feet now, straightening his pants with one hand and holding the phone with the other. He gets to his bike and turns to me, but I’m already right behind him, my eyes wide and concerned.

  “Put her on the phone.”

  A long, dreaded silence follows.

  “Okay, Daddy is coming now. Stay right there and don’t move, okay?”

  He nods twice and then hangs up, turning to me. “She’s saying Lena won’t wake up. I gotta go.”

  I nod, understanding but feeling something awful tugging at my heart. He hands me my helmet and I quickly pull it on, not wanting to hold him up. I keep wondering how Macy rang him. Perhaps he’s taught her; a great deal of parents do. Or was it Lena just playing a game? I get onto the back of the bike after him and he quickly takes off.

  The ride home is nothing compared to the ride here. Thoughts are traumatizing my mind, making me realize what a troubled situation I’ve been put in.

  We arrive at the dance studio and Nate pulls up in the lot. I get off the bike quickly and he turns to me, meeting my hurt expression. “I gotta go.”

  Without another word he zips away, leaving me broken and devastated on the side of the road. Is this all I’m ever going to be? A woman he goes to as an escape? What have I done? What the hell have I done?

  CHAPTER 24

  NATE

  I bust through the front door and see Macy sitting on the floor beside the couch where Lena is laying. I squint and rush over, lowering to my knees. Lena is out of it, the smell of whiskey strong on her body. Her arm is flopped over the side of the couch and she’s got vomit surrounding her head and mattered into her hair. Fucking shit. I quickly lift her head, sitting her upright before checking her breathing and then her pulse. It’s there but it’s faint.

  “Is Mommy okay, Daddy?” Macy asks.

  “She’s okay, baby,” I grind out. “Can you bring me her phone?”

  She rushes off and brings me Lena’s phone. I flip it open and dial for an ambulance. They assure me they’re on their way, so I turn back to Lena. I slap her cheeks softly. “Hey, wake up.”

  She groans, but she doesn’t open her eyes.

  “Macy, baby,” I say, turning to my little girl. “Can you get Daddy a towel?”

  She nods again and runs away, coming back a minute later with a towel. I put it under Lena’s head, using it to prop her up as much as possible until the ambulance arrives. They do, a few minutes later. They quickly get to work, lifting her onto a stretcher and taking her out.

  “Do you want to meet us there?” one officer asks.

  I’m holding Macy in my arms, trying to keep her calm. “Yeah, I need to calm the little one.”

  He nods. “She’s stable. I think she’s had too much to drink, but we’re not sure that she hasn’t taken something else, too.”

  “Something else?” I ask, my body stiffening.

  “Drugs. It may not be, but we need to check.”

  I nod, feeling my neck ache. “No problem.”

  He rushes out after giving me the name of the hospital. When they’re gone, I take Macy into the kitchen. I can’t keep leaving my daughter like this. Something bad is going to happen. I can’t trust that Lena is able to take care of her. I can’t . . . I just can’t. I do the only thing I can think of, making the best decision I can make for my daughter until I deal with Lena.

  I lift my phone and I call my mother.

  ~*~*~*~

  NATE

  “Yo
u can’t keep doing this,” I say, pacing up and down beside Lena’s hospital bed.

  She sighs and rolls to her side, sipping a juice. “It was a mistake; I took it too far. I’m allowed to have fun.”

  My anger rises to boiling point, but I squash it down. I can’t talk about this with Macy sitting in the corner.

  “There’s fun,” I grate out, “and there’s taking it to the next level. You could have been killed—or worse, something could have happened to Macy. How would you feel if something happened to her?”

  She stares up at me and something flashes behind her eyes.

  “Why are you even here, Nate? We both know this relationship is damaged.”

  “Beats me,” I mutter, kicking my shoe into the pole of her bed over and over.

  “You’re going to leave me?” she croaks, her eyes welling with tears.

  Shit.

  “I . . . shit isn’t good right now Lena, and . . .”

  “Please don’t!” she cries. “Please, I’ll do better. I love you, Nate; don’t tear our family apart. If you leave, one of us is going to miss out on our daughter.”

  That’s what fucking scares me.

  “Let’s just worry about now,” I say, taking a deep breath. “I think you need to sort your shit out before we can work out where to go from here. I don’t think you should have Macy while you do that. I’m sending her to my mother’s house for a few weeks. She’ll love it, and it’ll give you a chance to pull yourself out of this slump you’re in.”

  “I think that’s a good idea,” she says, her voice low.

  Well at least we agree on something.

  ~*~*~*~

  AVERY

  Nate: Answer me, Avery.

  I don’t answer him. How can I? I’m making a huge mistake, putting myself second when I don’t deserve to be. I’m disrespecting a woman, and that is the wrong thing to do. Everything inside my broken and confused body aches; it has for days now. Nate has crawled into my heart, and the idea that I have to end this with him is killing me. It’s hurting me so badly, ripping my heart into shreds.

  I’m sitting on my front patio, Caffy in my lap. I’m aimlessly stroking his belly, just staring out into nothing. My mind won’t switch off and I can’t sleep. I don’t even know what happened with Lena. I don’t know if she’s okay or if she’s hurt—I heard nothing from Nate for more a day. Then he tried to call me. I didn’t answer. He tried to text me. I didn’t answer. I know he’s getting frustrated but I can’t change this. Not even for him.