Texas Weddings 3 & 4

  “I know. But it won’t be so bad, really. I was thinking I could go back for a couple of days and get caught up, then come back to your mom’s place. Sound okay?”

  Not really. But I understand. “You have to do what you have to do.” She pulled away from him and shrugged. “I’ll be fine.” She felt silly pouting, but couldn’t seem to help herself. After all, she was missing work too. Did he not see that?

  “If it would make you feel better, I could drive back and forth,” he explained. “That way I could still spend time with you in the evenings.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense,” she argued. “You need your sleep if you’re going to work. You can’t work all day then come up here and stay awake all night. How would you drive back the next morning?”

  “You need some rest too.” He reached to brush a stray hair out of her eyes. “I know you’ve got to be exhausted. At least I’ve slept a little in the waiting room. You haven’t rested for days.”

  “I know.” She sighed. “But every time I think about relaxing, I start to worry. What if I went home for a shower and he woke up? What if something happened to him and I was asleep?”

  Nathan shook his head. “You can’t control any of that. And besides, you put way too much on yourself. You always have.”

  She argued with herself before responding. When she did speak, the words came out sounding a bit terse. She didn’t mean for them to. She just couldn’t seem to control the emotion behind the explanation.

  “You don’t understand, Nathan.” She crossed her arms at her chest. “I’m all they have. Ever since my sister moved to New York, I’ve been the logical choice. I have to be the one to pick up the slack.”

  “I know, but you can’t be everything to everyone. You have to take care of yourself, or you won’t be any good to your mom. And it’s not like she’d be alone.” He is face lit up with that slow, crooked grin she loved. “You’ve seen all of her friends from church. There are always at least three or four of them here at a time, tending to her every need.”

  “I know.” Kellie sighed because he clearly didn’t see her point. “It’s just that. . .” It’s just that her schedule at work had prevented her from spending enough time with her parents, and the guilt was eating at her like nothing she’d ever known.

  “You don’t have to be a super-hero.” He pulled her close once again and ran his fingers through her hair.

  “I know.” Tears welled up and she let them travel in little rivers down her cheeks. “But I don’t know how to rest. It goes against my nature. You know what a ‘Martha’ I am.”

  He smiled. “Yes, I know. But Jesus called her to come and sit at His feet, remember?”

  I could tell you the same thing. You work just as hard. Maybe harder.

  “I’ll follow you and your mom out to her place,” he said. “And then I’ll head home to get some work done. Just a couple of days, honey. Then I’ll come back.”

  She nodded. “It’s fine.” As the words were spoken, an unusual peace flooded over her. It was fine. God was in control and He would remain in control whether Nathan stayed or went. Our love for each other is stronger than any separation. And God’s love for both of us is even greater than that.

  Nathan glanced at his watch. “The next visitation time is in ten minutes. I won’t leave until I’ve had a chance to see your dad once more. I want to pray with him before I go.”

  “Okay.” She whispered the word and gave the situation over to the Lord.

  Kellie and Nathan went in search of her mother. They found her in the waiting room with three of the ladies from her church. All four women were huddled in a circle, praying and crying. For two days, it had been like this. People from the small congregation had been a consistent part of the process for her mother. They wouldn’t leave her side. They brought everything from fast food to casseroles, blankets to pillows and devotion books to printed lists of God’s promises. They prayed consistently, loved consistently and gave consistently.

  Kellie remembered this kind of love. As a child, she had always known it. Funny. She hadn’t appreciated it then. But now she missed it with an ache that couldn’t be squelched.

  Lord, will I ever experience true friendship again? I barely know anyone at my church. Who would take care of us if something like this happened? Just as quickly, she pushed the thoughts from her mind. Don’t be selfish. Just be glad they’re here for Mom. That’s the important thing.

  She and Nathan slipped across the hallway to the doors of the I.C.U. They used the hand sanitizer pump on the wall as they waited for the doors to swing open. When they did, Kellie was the first one inside. She had to get to her daddy, had to let him know she was still here, still praying. She had to see his face, to reassure herself he would be okay.

  Nathan gripped her hand as they made their way across the crowded room to the bed where her father lay, still and silent. The bed was surrounded with monitors and I.V. poles. The light clicking sound continued on the monitor as his heart beat, steady and strong. As always, she checked the numbers on the monitor to see if the pressure in his brain had subsided.

  Funny, how much she had learned in such a short time.

  Sadly, his numbers remained unchanged. She pressed back the lump in her throat and reached to take her father’s hand. “Daddy, we’re here. We love you.” Salty tears slipped down her cheek and dribbled across her lip, but she swept them away. No sadness here. Only hope.

  Nathan wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to himself. She drew in a deep breath and continued on. “You have a lot of friends here, Daddy. Half the church has come by to be with Mom and to let you know how much they love you. People are praying in the hallways, praying in the waiting room—”

  “And praying right here.” Nathan took a step closer to the bed and reached his hand out to touch her father’s arm. In a voice quiet and genuine, he began to pray aloud. Kellie couldn’t remember when she had ever heard him speak with such faith, such assurance. She also couldn’t remember when he’d been this bold—to pray aloud in front of a room full of total strangers.

  And yet here he stood, taking a position of authority at the very moment when she needed him most. He finished up the prayer and she added her “Amen” to his. She noticed another, quieter voice behind them and turned.

  “Mom.” She took her mother’s hand and drew her closer to the bed. “I’m sorry. We thought you were still in the waiting room with your friends. I hope you don’t mind that I rushed in ahead of everyone. I just couldn’t wait.”

  “Of course not.” Her mother smiled. “I’m so glad you did.”

  Kellie couldn’t help but notice how tired her mother looked—and older than she could ever remember. She saw the pain in her mom’s weary eyes and wanted to do something about it—but what could she do?

  You’re doing just what I’ve called you to do.

  She startled as she heard the words resound in her spirit. Yes, Lord.

  The three of them stayed for a few minutes until a nurse with a brusque voice reminded them that they were limited to two visitors at a time.

  “I have to go, anyway.” Nathan planted a kiss on Kellie’s head then reached to grab her mother’s hand. “I hope you don’t mind, Mom, but I’ve got to get back to the office for a few days. I’ll come back on the weekend.”

  “Of course I don’t mind. You’ve been more than wonderful to come and stay as long as you have. It’s far more than I would have expected, and I’m so grateful.”

  “I wouldn’t have been anywhere else,” Nathan said. He gave her a hug, then turned back to Kellie.

  Kellie’s mom gave her a serious once-over. “You should take this girl with you. I’m sure she could use some rest.”

  “Mom, I’m not going home. I’ll be fine.” Kellie wasn’t trying to be stubborn. She just couldn’t imagine leaving.

  Nathan shook his head. “You’re not fine—at least you won’t be if you don’t get some rest.” He turned to face her mother. “I’m
sending her to your place for a few hours to get some sleep. And a shower.”

  Kellie rolled her eyes. “He thinks I smell.”

  “I’m sure we all do.” Her mother chuckled. “Speaking of which, if you’re going to my place, I could use a change of clothes.” She quickly gave Kellie a list of items to fetch, and goodbyes were said.

  Kellie and Nathan left the hospital arm in arm. As she climbed into her mother’s older-model sedan, she glanced in the rearview mirror. Nathan gave her a smile and a wave from the driver’s seat of her beautiful sports car.

  With tears in her eyes, Kellie turned the key in the ignition and put her mother’s car in gear. For once, she would have traded it all—the job, the condo, the car, everything—for just a few more minutes with the man she loved.

  ***

  Nathan shifted his wife’s sports car into gear and headed out onto the highway toward Houston. He tried to still his thoughts, but they would not be silenced. Guilt ate at him like a cancer. How could he leave her there? Would she think his job took precedence over her? It wasn’t true, but how could he prove it? Did he need to try?

  Was his job too important? Had he focused too much on what was going on at the office and not enough on what was happening at home? He shook his head and focused on the road. A man had to work. And he had done a pretty good job balancing his work life and home life.

  Nathan prayed aloud as he clutched the steering wheel. “Lord, I know You’ve called me to provide for my family. Kellie is my family. I won’t be able to provide for her if I lose my job.” He drew in a deep breath. “Please give me wisdom. And please show me how to spend more time with her. I want to be with her.”

  I need to be with her.

  He swallowed the lump in his throat and kept driving. His thoughts shifted to the office. With this current quarter drawing to a close, the workload was unbelievable. And for some reason, tempers flared—even over the phone. The atmosphere of the whole place seemed to be changing right before his eyes. “It’s just the pressure of the season we’re in. This is going to pass.”

  He hoped.

  In the meantime, work waited. Balancing the phone in one hand and the steering wheel in the other, he punched in the number to his office.

  five

  Kellie hung up the phone and turned to her mother with a sigh.

  “Everything okay at work?” Her mom’s forehead wrinkled in concern.

  “I guess.” Kellie took a seat at the breakfast table and nibbled at a piece of toast. Truthfully, things weren’t going as well as she’d hoped, but she certainly didn’t want to concern her mother with unnecessary details. Her boss called every hour on the hour. Not to worry her, he insisted, but to keep her abreast of all she was missing.

  Missing. . ..

  She fought to swallow the lump in her throat. She missed her husband with an ache that wouldn’t subside. Though she had tried valiantly to sleep, she’d spent much of the last few nights tossing and turning. How could she sleep without Nathan by her side? Three years of marriage and they’d only spent four or five nights apart. And now this.

  Her mother lifted a fried egg out of the skillet on the stove and slipped it onto her plate. “I’m sure I’ll be fine, Kellie. You should go back home, at least for a few days.”

  “I can’t do that, Mama. What if. . .?” She stopped herself mid-sentence. In the four days since Nathan returned home, she had watched her father lie quiet and still in a hospital bed. She had prayed more prayers, cried more tears and paced more hallways than at any point in her life prior.

  And the prayers appeared to be working. His numbers had dropped substantially, enough for the doctors to pull him out of the medically induced coma. Any time now, they predicted, her father should begin to awaken. What would happen after that was far more questionable. Regardless, she must be here, at her mother’s side.

  And yet. . .

  Kellie’s heart ached and she quickly brushed away the tears that formed at her lashes. She couldn’t let her mother see her crying. The tears would have to be left to late night hours, tumbling out onto crisp white pillowcases on the bed in her parents’ guestroom. They could never fall openly. If her mother knew how much Kellie’s heart ached to be with Nathan, she would insist upon a rapid trip back to Houston.

  Better to stay focused on the task at hand. “What time should we leave?” Kellie flashed a brave smile.

  Her mother sat down across from her and took a bite of bacon. “Hmm.” She glanced at the wall clock. “Probably about twenty minutes or so. Can you be ready that quick?”

  “I’m the queen of quick.” Kellie couldn’t help but chuckle. “You have no idea how fast I can move, Mom.”

  “Oh, I can imagine. You’ve always been an over-achiever, trust me. But you get that from your dad, not me. I’m a little simpler than that, as you know. Greenvine is the perfect place for a gal like me. We’re pretty laid back around here. Just how I like it.”

  Kellie reflected on her words before responding. “I don’t miss the fast-paced life as much as I thought I would, to be honest. It’s weird—not having to set my alarm clock to be up before daylight. And I can’t remember when I’ve had a real breakfast.” She took another bite of toast and leaned back against the chair, happy for a few minutes of rest and relaxation.

  “I’ve never known anything but this life.” Her mother took a sip of her coffee then continued. “Guess that’s what happens when you’ve settle on a small town environment. Life is slow. Simple. There’s plenty of time to enjoy people—and things. Time to really intercede for those who need it. And time to visit folks who need visiting.”

  Kellie shrugged. “Life is a lot slower here,” she acknowledged. “I had almost forgotten.”

  “You didn’t seem to mind when you were growing up,” her mother said with a smile. “But I think your father and I always knew you’d end up in the big city, so it makes perfect sense that you live in Houston. And Dallas, before that. You’ve always been a city girl at heart.”

  “Really? What made you think that?”

  “You just seemed. . .” her mother gestured with her hands, “bigger than this place. You and your sister, both. She was destined to sing in the opera and you—”

  “What?” Kellie couldn’t help but wonder what she’d say next.

  “You were so good with numbers. A real math whiz. And talk about saving money. Do you remember that piggy bank you had when you were little?”

  “Yes.” Kellie groaned and leaned her head down against the table. “Don’t remind me.” Truthfully, she couldn’t help but smile as she thought about the bright pink ceramic pig with hand-painted eyelashes she’d received on her sixth birthday. She’d saved every penny that came her way, pressing each coin, each bill, through the narrow slot on his side.

  “All of your birthday money, any cash you earned doing chores—you socked it all away in that little piggy bank.”

  Kellie shrugged. “Yes, but if memory serves me correctly, the payoff wasn’t very good.”

  “That’s right.” Her mother’s eyes narrowed to a slit. “You lost it.”

  “Not exactly lost. Misplaced would be the right word.” Truth be told, she had hidden the ceramic pig away in a safe place once his belly had been stuffed full of money. She didn’t want to run the risk of someone walking off with him. In the end, she’d done the goofiest thing an eight-year-old kid could do—forgotten where she put it.

  “We searched for that piggy bank for years, didn’t we?”

  “Yeah.” Kellie sighed as she picked up the piece of toast once more. “Lost forever.”

  “You learned a hard lesson from that, to be sure.” Her mother smiled. “But a good one. Made you a lot less selfish with your money.” She clamped her hand over her mouth, obviously embarrassed. “I’m sorry. Selfish might’ve been a strong word.”

  “No, that’s about right.” Kellie grimaced as she contemplated her mother’s words. She had been selfish as a child, perhaps more than she’d r
ealized. And as an adult. . .

  Am I still selfish? Is that why I work so hard—to put as much money into my ‘piggy bank’ as I can?

  She shrugged. “I’d like to think I’ve outgrown a lot of that, but I’m not sure. I do enjoy working, but it seems like I spend a lot of time at the office.”

  “You’re a hard worker, that’s for sure.” Her mother reached to squeeze her hand. “You always have been. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. And I’m just happy that you’re happy.” Her eyes misted over. “Both of my girls are doing what they love.”

  Am I? Kellie bit her lip. In her heart, she wasn’t sure. All of the work earned a great lifestyle, but what good was a great lifestyle when you were too worn out to enjoy it?

  “What, honey?”

  “It’s not that I don’t love my work. I do. I really do.”

  “It’s important to have an occupation you enjoy.” Her mother gave her hand another gentle squeeze. “But I think I know what’s bothering you.”

  “You do?”

  Her mother nodded. “Just remember to take time for yourself and Nathan. Don’t let the work dictate who you are.”

  “I hadn’t thought about it like that before.” She’d always been Kellie the Stockbroker. Not Kellie the woman. Kellie the wife. Kellie the child of God. Just Kellie. . . the stockbroker. Kellie, the over-achiever. Kellie, the one who had to prove something to everyone. The revelation nearly took her breath away.

  They finished their breakfast in quiet contemplation then left for Brenham. With her mother behind the wheel of the small sedan, Kellie took the opportunity to call Nathan.

  He sounded thrilled to hear her voice. “Is that really you?”

  Kellie felt the edges of her lips curl up. “Do you miss me?”

  “Like crazy. I’ve been really. . .” he hesitated, then spoke in hushed tones, almost sounding embarrassed. “. . .lonely.”

  Kellie felt the familiar lump in her throat and fought to push it down so that he wouldn’t notice the pain behind her words. “Me too.”