Story of a Sociopath

  “You’re here early, Mr. Spencer. Will you have a drink in the library or would you prefer to go into the lounge?”

  “It’s six o’clock,” I said as if in apology.

  “Indeed.”

  “Could you let Madame know I’m here? I’ll wait for her in the small library.”

  I went to the library, where a minute later a waiter appeared with a bottle of whiskey.

  “Would sir prefer whiskey or shall I bring some champagne?”

  “Whiskey today, just whiskey.”

  Madame appeared immediately. She closed the door and we found ourselves alone.

  “It looks like we’ll be able to weather the storm,” she told me very seriously.

  “What do you know about Yoko?”

  “She’s dead. She died at the scene. The car crushed her head and chest.”

  I knew it, of course. I had witnessed the car drive over Yoko’s fragile body.

  “Has anyone come asking about her?”

  “Aren’t you at all affected by what I’ve just told you? Yoko’s dead. She was already dead when the ambulance arrived.”

  “As you must know, I’m upset by the news, but, even so, I need to know if an investigation is under way that…well, that could affect us both,” I said, looking at her closely.

  “No, there’s been nothing so far. A friend told me that the authorities are considering it just another accident: a careless girl who was running and must have tripped and fallen into the street, and an irresponsible young man who may have had one drink too many. And that’s what happened—you told me that yourself.”

  “Yes, Madame. But…does anyone know she was working here?”

  Madame Agnès seemed uncomfortable at the question. She didn’t think it fitting that I should say that the girls who visited her establishment worked there.

  “All the girls who join us here know that the sole condition of employment is their discretion. In the thirty years that…that I’ve been receiving guests, not one has committed a single indiscretion. You know that our dear friends are good people, students, ladies with financial problems…It is they who benefit most from maintaining such strict discretion,” she insisted.

  “It’s best that way.”

  “But you…I think you owe me an explanation. The waiter insists that Yoko was crying when he served you dinner.”

  “I didn’t claim otherwise. She didn’t tell me why, but it was obvious that she had some kind of problem.”

  “And you don’t know what it was…”

  “Exactly.”

  “It’s all so strange…”

  “Yes, it is, Madame. You’ll understand that I’m the most surprised of all.”

  “I hope we don’t find ourselves impacted by what’s happened. In the end it was a tragedy. The only thing I regret is being unable to attend the funeral; I couldn’t explain how I knew her.”

  We remained in silence for a few seconds, each absorbed in our own thoughts.

  “We shouldn’t feel guilty, Madame; it was an accident.”

  “But she…The waiter said she was crying.”

  “I’ve already told you I don’t know why. In any case, whatever the reason may have been, I don’t think it can be linked to the fact that a young man had too much to drink, put his foot down too hard on the accelerator, and crashed into her.”

  “But why was she running? Why did she leave you behind?” Her voice was reproachful.

  “I don’t know, Madame. I only offered to go with her to find a taxi and she suddenly sped up. Perhaps she saw one in the distance, perhaps she regretted letting me go with her, given that your rules are strict about prohibiting contact outside the walls of your establishment. We’ll end up going crazy if we try to find an explanation. It was a terrible accident and we have to get over it,” I insisted.

  “Her colleagues are very upset, and so are the rest of the staff here. Yoko was reserved, but kind and helpful.”

  I poured myself another whiskey from the bottle the waiter had left on a low table next to the ice bucket.

  “We ought to forget,” I murmured.

  “Will you dine with us tonight? I think Nataly will be here this evening…”

  “Ah, Nataly! Nothing would please me more than having dinner with her.”

  “I’ll go and see whether she’s arrived yet and I’ll let her know that you’re here. What time would you like us to serve dinner?”

  I looked at my watch. It was almost seven. Esther would be at the apartment, working. I could call her and tell her that I was going to be late. That’s what I did. She didn’t ask me why or how late I was going to be, she just murmured a quiet “All right, I’ll be working for some time.”

  Nataly came into the library wearing a vibrant pink dress and black ballet flats. She looked even younger than she was. The pink suited her.

  “I’m pleased to see you,” she said coldly, holding out her hand to me. It was forbidden to kiss as a greeting at Madame Agnès’s.

  “I’m pleased to see you too,” I replied without much conviction.

  To be honest, I had no desire for her that night. I wanted to get out of that place. I could feel how uncomfortable Madame Agnès was to have me there. I felt the same. I realized that this could be my last visit to her establishment. We needed time to forget, or at least to relegate everything that had happened to some forgotten corner of our minds.

  “Madame has told me that we’ll be having dinner together. I don’t really fancy seeing anyone I don’t know tonight. We’re all very upset about Yoko. The university is organizing a memorial service.”

  As on previous occasions, Nataly was the best source of information on Yoko.

  We went up to a private room and this time Nataly didn’t take her shoes off. I looked at her expectantly.

  “I’m not wearing heels today. I twisted my ankle a week ago. Look, it’s still swollen,” she explained without my asking.

  “Tell me everything you know about…well, about what happened to Yoko.”

  Some gentle knocks at the door announced the waiter, who arrived with two trays on which were arranged smoked salmon, roast turkey, and the obligatory bottle of champagne. I ordered a Coca-Cola for Nataly.

  “So tell me…”

  “You know something, don’t you? She was with you last night. It seems that a waiter saw her crying when he brought your dinner up. Then you left together and, it would appear, Yoko was hit by a car on her way home.”

  “So that’s what they’re saying here.”

  “Well, you can’t deny that you were with Yoko last night, when she had the accident. Everyone saw you. I wasn’t here, but the girls told me. They said that Yoko was fine, that she didn’t seem sad, that they don’t understand what could have made her cry, except that you…sometimes you’re a bit rough. But you couldn’t have had time because she was already crying before dinner…”

  “I didn’t sleep with her, she told me she wasn’t feeling well. She didn’t tell me why she was crying either. I offered to go with her to find a taxi. Since she’d gone up to a private room and earned the fee for dinner, there was no reason for her to stay any longer.”

  “That’s all? Are you sure you didn’t insist on going home with her?” she asked mistrustfully.

  “Hey, what are you suggesting?” I asked, alarmed.

  “You seemed so obsessed with her before you went to New York…Well, in truth, I was the only one who knew about that. You asked me for her address, her boyfriend’s name…You wanted to know everything about Yoko. And I knew you were seeing each other away from Madame Agnès’s.”

  “What would you know?” I replied, irritated.

  “I…I don’t think Yoko liked you. Her face would cloud over when she saw you arrive here. She would go and throw up. Maybe the others didn’t notice, but I did. I used to watch you two. Just seeing you made her suffer and she started to lose weight. She looked like a ghost. Madame told her off; she’d say that she looked so starved she was going to sc
are away the gentlemen guests. Even so, none of them complained. Yoko’s regulars remained her regulars. Then you left and Yoko gradually started getting better. She even smiled from time to time.”

  “You’ve crossed the line, Nataly, and you’re jumping to the wrong conclusions. Perhaps things weren’t going well between Yoko and her boyfriend, or maybe she had problems with her parents. You yourself told me that her mother had gone back to Japan and was pressuring Yoko to join her,” I replied angrily.

  “Or perhaps someone threatened to tell Dave, Yoko’s boyfriend, how she earned her living.” Her words were an accusation.

  “And who would want to do a thing like that?” I asked defiantly.

  “Perhaps you. At the end of the day, you were obsessed with her. Perhaps you threatened to tell her boyfriend if she didn’t do what you wanted. That could easily have been the case.”

  “I thought you were going to study quantum physics, but maybe you should become a novelist instead. You have such an imagination! Be careful, Nataly, don’t go saying things you might regret,” I said with a threat in my voice.

  “Do you think I’m stupid? I’m talking to you, saying aloud what I think. I haven’t spoken to Madame Agnès about this, and she’s asked me what kind of man you are on several occasions and whether you might have done anything to harm Yoko.”

  “What an old hag!”

  “Well, it makes sense that she would want to know what kind of men frequent her establishment. Here at Madame Agnès’s the girls are guaranteed that they won’t have to put up with any strange fantasies on the part of the men who come here, that there are lines that the gentlemen can’t cross.”

  “And what have you told her?”

  “That you’re not delightful but you are acceptable. You’ve got a lot of anger inside you but you control it. You know you can’t go too far, at least not at this establishment. As for other places…I pity the girl who falls into your hands!”

  “You don’t have a very good opinion of me,” I protested.

  “Nor you of me. To you I’m a whore and to me you’re a guy who needs to solve his problems by sleeping with whores. We’re even.”

  “You’ve got some nerve.”

  Nataly shrugged and looked anxiously at the plate of salmon. I wasn’t hungry but I told her to eat. She didn’t hesitate and served herself a generous helping.

  “Salmon with Coca-Cola.” I smiled.

  “You should try some, it’s really good.”

  “And what do they say at the university?”

  “The people in her department think it was an accident. Yoko’s father has explained that a drunk driver hit her when she was trying to cross the road.

  “I think they’re going to do an autopsy and then they’ll cremate her in a few days’ time. Her family is waiting for her mother to arrive from Japan. I know that her classmates want to hold a memorial service for her in addition to the funeral her father’s arranging and that they’ll all attend.”

  “What about her boyfriend?”

  “He’s distraught. He was waiting for her at the flat. When the police arrived and told him that Yoko had died I think he had a nervous breakdown. They were very much in love. I don’t know if you knew, but they were planning their wedding. They were going to get married within a month. Yoko had bought her dress and they’d sent out the invitations.”

  Nataly set her cutlery on the table and looked at me so intensely it felt like she was scrutinizing my mind.

  “Was it an accident?” she asked me in a low voice.

  “Yes, of course it was an accident. When we left Madame Agnès’s, I offered to help her find a taxi, but she was in a hurry and was going so fast it was difficult to keep up with her. She was almost running, she left me behind and…well, what happened happened, the car hit her. That’s all. I’m not responsible for any of it,” I declared firmly.

  “Well, one thing’s for sure, she’s dead and we’ll never know why.”

  “It was an accident,” I insisted.

  “Yes, perhaps it was…”

  “Will you find out the results of the autopsy?”

  “Perhaps. You know I know a couple of people in her department. They might know something.”

  “I’d like to know the results.”

  “I suppose you would.”

  “Will you be here tomorrow?”

  “I won’t be here again until Friday.”

  “Then change your shift or give me your phone number so I can call you.”

  “I’d rather keep you out of my life. I have no intention of giving you my number.”

  “If you come tomorrow and tell me what you know, I’ll make it worth your while.”

  “All right. It’s a fair trade, but don’t you think Madame will find out the results of the autopsy? She has friends in high places who will let her know everything to do with Yoko’s death.”

  “You do what I’ve asked. I’ll pay you well for it. I want to know whatever’s said about Yoko.”

  “All right, tomorrow at six.”

  When she had finished eating she looked at me lazily, without hiding her lack of interest in having sex. On another occasion I would have forced her to, but Esther was waiting for me, so I let her go without laying a finger on her. I saw that she was relieved.

  I didn’t say goodbye to Madame Agnès. After all, I would be back the next day.

  Esther was making a sandwich when I got home. I asked her to make another for me as I told her what I had found out.

  “We’ll have to wait until tomorrow. The worst that could happen is that they find traces of your DNA on that girl.”

  “I told you, I didn’t go to bed with her. They won’t find anything.”

  “That would be best.”

  We slept better that night. We were exhausted and soon succumbed to sleep, mine full of nightmares and Esther’s calm and deep.

  —

  The next day we had a meeting at the office with the whole team. Global Communication could survive. Esther was sure of it, and she had even convinced the ever-skeptical Maggie.

  “You’re lucky to have your partner,” she told me after Esther had given her a list of things that needed to be done.

  “I know,” I agreed, proud of Esther.

  “What I don’t understand is why she’s agreed to be your partner, she doesn’t really need you.”

  Maggie’s comment annoyed me. Was my dependence on Esther so obvious? It looked like it, at least for intelligent people who kept asking themselves why a woman like her put up with a guy like me. To be honest, I couldn’t explain it either. She wasn’t in love with me; her love for me was in the past. She had more creative talent than I could ever have. She was meticulous and a perfectionist at work, while I got bored if I had to work on something for more than an hour at a time. And since we’d been earning money her appearance had improved. She had never been pretty, but some good Italian shoes, a few designer pantsuits, and a collection of natural silk shirts worked miracles. Oh, and her hair—her new hairstyle suited her. She no longer wore her brown hair long and curly; the hairdresser had managed to tame her mane into a gently wavy midlength style. She wouldn’t grab people’s attention as she passed, but if you gave her a second glance, she was clearly an attractive woman.

  I found the day interminable. At Esther’s suggestion, I invited Maggie, Evelyn, and Cooper to lunch at a fashionable restaurant where the food is terrible but people go to be seen. Maggie was delighted because a model and a famous soccer player were sitting at the table opposite ours, and a well-known BBC journalist and a government minister were sitting at another.

  “So this is what it’s like where the rich and famous eat,” she said, amused.

  The shrimp cocktail didn’t agree with me. I threw up after we’d barely finished eating.

  “I’ll sue them,” I told the others as we walked back to the office.

  My head started to hurt and I felt nauseated, but I pushed through. I had already decided to go to M
adame Agnès’s to see Nataly.

  Esther was worried to see me so pale and running to the bathroom every few minutes to throw up.

  “I think you’ve gotten food poisoning and it would be best if you saw a doctor. Let’s go.”

  It was four o’clock so I let myself be taken. The doctor told me the obvious, that it must be a food-borne illness.

  “You have to expel everything that’s poisoned you,” he confirmed while he jotted down a prescription for several medicines. “Go to a hospital if you experience any further symptoms, but I think that you’ll feel better by tomorrow with what I’ve prescribed. For now, you need to rest.”

  Esther insisted that we go home, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to rest easy until I knew the results of Yoko’s autopsy. So Esther decided to come with me to Madame Agnès’s.

  “You can’t come, they won’t even let you come in.”

  “I’ll wait for you on the street or in a nearby café, but I won’t even consider leaving you alone in this state.”

  I couldn’t convince her. I felt so sick that I let her have her way.

  At six on the dot I rang Madame Agnès’s doorbell with Esther watching from a short distance away. The butler let me in and told me that Madame had said that if he were to see me he should let her know immediately.

  Madame Agnès was waiting for me in the library. She was speaking to a gentleman I’d seen there on previous occasions but with whom I’d never exchanged a word.

  “Ah, Mr. Spencer. Come in. Would you like a glass of champagne or would you prefer a whiskey?” Madame Agnès offered.

  “I’m going to surprise you today, Madame, I’d like a chamomile tea. Lunch did not agree with my stomach.”

  “Chamomile tea? Well, if that’s what you’d like…Oh! Allow me to introduce Mr. Stewart, a dear friend who happens to be passing through the city. But please take a seat, Mr. Spencer. Mr. Stewart was just leaving, isn’t that right, my dear?”

  Mr. Stewart nodded to me and stepped out of the room. The waiter brought the chamomile tea to the serving table. We were left alone. Madame handed me the tea.

  “I’ve got news about Yoko.”

  “And Mr. Stewart…”

  “Is a civil servant with good connections. They found nothing that might be damaging to us during the autopsy. They found no traces of semen on her. Nor should they have…all my gentlemen use condoms, isn’t that right?”