Thirty Days of Red

  My body surges with adrenaline. The first thing I need is for my mother to leave. She can’t see me like this. After wrestling with my thoughts, I decide my mother needs to be aware of my plan. I make a quick phone call to Ruby, and she agrees. My mother can stay with her while I fulfill my goal. Talk about a silver lining.

  * * *

  Nobody is in sight and Liv must be in the hospital. I want to surprise Mom and see her reaction. I miss her so much. The door creaks when I enter the house. Wilma wraps her tail around my legs and purrs.

  “I missed you too.” I draw in the familiar sounds and scents of my own home, but this time, I feel like a stranger. Heading to my office, I discover Liv has left everything alone. My computers are in the same place, and if the cops checked it, they wouldn’t find anything but work stuff and the porn sites I browsed.

  I back up all my files in USBs and think about what else can I bring with me when I’m gone. The house is filled with memories, and I can’t wait till it’s over.

  Mom’s usually an early bird and should be down in the kitchen soon.

  I step inside our bedroom, smelling the faint traces of Liv’s perfume. Checking the closet, I notice my clothes are still hanged like I never left. It only confirms Liv has been waiting for me.

  What will Liv do without me? Will she survive prison? She’ll find a way to manipulate somebody there for sure, but I’m no longer scared of her. My plan has to work. I hear footsteps and a shadow carrying a baseball bat approaches me.

  “Mom, it’s me, David.”

  The footsteps stop.

  A prickle behind my neck stands. “Mom, did you hear what I said? It’s me, David.”

  Coming out of the bedroom to get a closer look, my mom freezes. I burst into laughter, and we share a tight embrace.

  Tears spill out from her eyes. “I thought you were dead.”

  I hold her hand against my chest. “No, Mom.”

  “Liv is in the hospital. She doesn’t remember a thing. Perhaps she will remember you.”

  We walk toward the bed and sit down.

  “Where were you, David?”

  “Mom, I have so much to say, but what I’m about to tell you might scare you.”

  She covers her face with both hands. “Oh, David, I can’t take any more tragedy.”

  I wrap my arms around her. “You have to trust me, Mom, but first of all, I need to know if I can trust you too.” Narrating how it all began, I inform her about our failed marriage, to Emily, to my coma, Aiden, and my ultimate plan.

  She covers her face. “Oh my gosh! How deceiving of her.”

  “Yes and I can’t do this without you.”

  “What do you need me to do?”

  I pace around the room, wanting to move my legs. “I need you to tell Liv you’re going back to Boston and that she should go home so she can remember and rest. You have to convince the doctors she is ready to go home, that this will help her memory.”

  “I can do that.”

  “Insist she can’t have any press or detectives bothering her,” I add.

  “I can’t leave you here.” Her eyes are red from crying.

  “You will stay with Ruby, Aiden’s sister. She’ll help.”

  Mom weeps and gives me a tight hug. “I hope your plan works, David. I can’t afford to lose you again.”

  “Everything will be fine.”

  I’ve gone this far. I need to finish this.

  42

  Day 21

  Liv

  The doctor provides me a release form when Diana pops in.

  She greets both of us then eyes my bags. “You’re leaving?”

  Dr. Scholl beams. “I believe it will be safe for her to go home now. Tests are normal, and she needs to rest. It will help her remember. If any concerns should arise, please call me.”

  “Thank you, doctor,” Diana says.

  “Very well. Have a nice day.”

  Diana carries my other bag, and I’m surprised she didn’t contest my plans.

  “You look so lovely, Olivia.” She clasps my hand. “I’m sure in time, you will remember.”

  I force a smile as we take a cab. Moments later, we arrive outside my house .

  After we step out of the car, she stops. “Olivia, I know this may seem abrupt, but I need to go back to Boston.”

  “Boston?” I raise my eyebrows. Why the sudden rush?

  “That’s where I live. You’ll be fine.”

  I nod, pretending to be grateful. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you.”

  “I feel the solitude will be able to provide clarity.” She steps back inside the cab.

  I wave goodbye and stand in front of my doorstep. I’m home.

  The door creaks when I enter, and Wilma jumps right at me. Finally, I can be alone. No Diana, Christopher, doctors or nurses to check on me. No detectives to interrogate me. I swirl on the tiles like a ballerina performing to her audience.

  My house is neat and spotless. Diana kept everything in place. All I want to do is collapse in my bed and not think about anything. Except David.

  Staggering up the stairs, I head straight to my bedroom and open the door. As I’m about to jump onto my bed, I freeze and blink my eyes. It can’t be. Heart pounding, I approach the bed and look into his closed eyes. David.

  I stare at him, thinking how pure he looks when sleeping. Nothing exposes the philandering husband in him. His beard is long, his clothes are soiled, and there is an unfamiliar stench about him, but I don’t care. I want to shake him, wake him up, and ask him where the hell he’s been, except peace transcends over me. David is home. He came home. He loves me.

  Leaning my head on his chest, I listen to his heartbeat. No sooner do I feel his hand caress my cheek. Lifting my head, I face him, cupping his face in my hands. David.

  He curls his lip. “L-L-iiii-v.”

  Oh no! What’s wrong with him.

  “David. You’re home.”

  “Home,” he repeats, taking deep breaths. “Ssssorrryyyy.”

  My throat thickens as I swallow hard. I can’t bear to see him this way. “What happened to you, David? Where did you go? They found blood all over your shirt. Who did this to you?” I raise my voice, frantic. I have to protect him.

  He squeezes my arms, but then his hands go limp. “Forgive me,” he says with tears in his eyes. “I l-l-love youuuuu.”

  “I love you too.” I kiss his hands, wanting to hear him lament. “We belong together.”

  “We do.” He pulls his body upward as one of his eyelids droops down. “I’m ho-o-omme.”

  “Yes, and you’re never going anywhere.”

  He holds me against his chest and closes his eyes. God, do I want to take care of this man.

  Later that evening, we both wake up from a deep sleep. I’m amazed at how peaceful I feel for the first time in a long while, how in tune David and I still are. He tucks a strand of my hair away from my face and kisses me softly.

  I press my cheeks on his face, wanting him to shower me with kisses. His eyes never leave mine as we gaze upon each other.

  “Do you want me to cook something? Are you hungry? I can make some soup.”

  “Soup will be nice.” He speaks slowly.

  “Come with me to the kitchen.” I take his hand.

  He rises slowly, limping with one leg, back hunched. Leaning his arm against my shoulder, I lead him to the kitchen. David settles into a chair, and it’s like old times when I would cook and he would stay with me in the kitchen.

  All I have are Instant Ramen noodles, but the smile on David’s face is something I can live for. We eat in silence, side by side, glued like velcro.

  As I clear the dishes, David says, “Liv.”

  “Yes.”

  “I neeeeed to speak with you.”

  I straighten my shoulders. “What is it, David?”

  He takes my hand and holds it tight. “I’m dying.”

  “No, you’re not,” I raise my voice, reminding myself it’s my fault he’s this
way. Did I have to torture him to humble himself and prove how much he needed me, that he was nothing without me? I have no regrets. I try to justify my actions as Emily’s face creeps inside my head.

  “I came heeeeere to makkkkke amends,” he whispers. “My daysssss are nummmmbered.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He removes a folded paper from inside his pocket and passes it to me. His reflexes have slowed down, he has a lost a dramatic amount of weight, and his skin is gray.

  I read the paper, a doctor’s note indicating a brain tumor and my body freezes. The events replay on my mind, and I wonder what life would be if that night were different. I face the other way as a grin plays on my lips. Now Emily can’t have him. She wouldn’t want him. David came home to be with me. He knows I’ll take care of him.

  Dabbing my cheeks, I face him. “This can’t be, David.”

  “I cammmme herrrre to spend your birthhhhhday. This will be your last birthday we’ll spennnnnnd together.”

  Right, my birthday is eight days away.

  He continues, taking deep breaths, “I wannnnnt to make it special. Just youuuuu and I. Please don’t tell anyone including my mother I’m home yet. I want to be with you.”

  I don’t want him to exert any effort, but he insists.

  “I regret every momennnnnnt I had with her. I realized how much you meannnnn to me. She is nothing comparedddd to you.”

  I squeeze his hands, my heart skipping a beat. “Let’s forget about everything, David. We can start over, somewhere new.”

  “I don’t have much time,” he says. “I need you to do something for me.”

  “Anything.” He has my full attention.

  “I want to die in my own terms.” His lips form a line.

  “David.”

  “I need to die with dignity, and I want you to do it for me. I can’t wait till the tumor consumes me.”

  “You’re asking me to kill you,” I choke, but then I remember I almost did that. However, back then, it was a crime of passion. This is something different.

  “Assisted suicide,” he says. “Nobody will know except you and I. It will be our secret.”

  My heart pounds, and my palms sweat. Never did I think my husband would ask me to do such a thing.

  “Think about it, Liv. I will be a liability to you. You can use the insurance money, and I will die peacefully in your arms.”

  I take a deep breath. My husband is serious about this, and his humility touches me. I owe him my life, and although I hate to see him go, I say in a hushed tone, “Yes.”

  He weeps. “Thank you.”

  I clear my throat. “When do you want to die?”

  “The day after your birthday.”

  My body freezes, bursting into tears then laughter. “Yes, I will do it for you.”

  Crazy as it sounds, but I just received validation that my husband will sacrifice everything for me.

  43

  Day 22

  David

  My plan worked. Liv agreed to fulfill my goal. I couldn’t help notice how attentive she is to me, the extra care of cooking, cuddling, and making my life comfortable.

  Liv sets the breakfast tray in bed. “Good morning, honey.”

  I force a smile as she leans over to kiss me.

  “It’s a beautiful day.” She opens the curtains. “It’s too bad we’re indoors.”

  Averting my gaze to the food, I pop some bacon into my mouth. “Thanks for making breakfast. You don’t have to give me special treatment.” I twirl my fork on the scrambled eggs. “But I’m not complaining.”

  Wiping my mouth with a paper napkin, Liv says, “You know how much I love taking care of you.”

  As I munch on my food, Liv watches me. I hope she hasn’t thought of poisoning me. “What?”

  “What?” She shrugs.

  “You’re staring at me.”

  She smiles then removes the tray and exits the room. When she returns, she says, “I think you should get a second opinion.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You need to see another doctor.”

  “For God’s sake, I’ve had enough of doctors. The headaches are terrible, my potassium levels are up, but with you, I forget I’m sick. I want to make our last days together special.”

  Folding her arms, she leans her body against the wall. “You seem to be getting better.” She pulls a mirror inside her nightstand and shows it to me. “Take a look at yourself. When you arrived here, your skin was gray. You stuttered and could barely walk. Today, your cheeks are flushed. You’re glowing, and I haven’t heard you stammer since.”

  Shit! She’s so damn observant. “That’s because I’m trying to please you.” I look away, gearing myself to cry. “I don’t want you to remember me as a pathetic weak husband.”

  “Don’t even think that.” She dashes to my side and embraces me.

  I squeeze her hand. “I promised you I was going to take you to the Eiffel Tower for your birthday, and I can’t even do that.”

  She grips me tight. “That doesn’t matter now. As long as we’re together, I’ll be fine.”

  We don’t say a word as she lies close to me. She believes I don’t have time left and have nothing to offer her. Does she love me that much?

  Why did she become attracted to me in the first place? I’m just an average guy and probably boring in her standards. Have I met her needs? Perhaps the needs to control.

  “Honey, I need to do some quick errands. Will be back soon.”

  I’m glad she’s going to leave me alone in the house. I’m tired of pretending.

  “Be careful,” I say.

  “Don’t worry.” She slips into our walk-in closet and reappears wearing a dark wig, sunglasses, and a hat. “How do I look?”

  I drop my jaw and clap my hands. “I would never have recognized you.”

  She smirks then exits the room.

  * * *

  Ruby delivers the package at the back door. It’s such a relief to know she has my back. “Hidden cameras for your bedroom, kitchen, and living room. I would advise you stay in the same place at all times.”

  “Are you sure you’re not a detective?”

  Ruby laughs. “I’m a journalist in Italy, but I dream of writing a psychological thriller. I think I already have a story.” She grins.

  “Well, I hope your story has a happy ending.”

  She pokes my chest. “That will be up to you.”

  I shrug, hoping my plan works. What’s the worst thing that could ever happen? “How’s my mom?”

  “Anxious to get this over with.”

  I nod. “Tell her soon… and that I love her.”

  Ruby waves.

  I need to be consistent and not allow Liv to be suspicious. As it is, Liv believes what I told her. I’m confident I will have my happy ending.

  44

  Day 22

  Liv

  I’m glad I left the house. David seems so clingy and needy, and I have to take a break. Perhaps a walk will clear my head so I take a stroll to the skate park where Emily painted a mural of David. As skaters swing by, I gaze at his face. What did Emily do to make David fall in love with her? She gave him attention. Treated him like a star―a hero.

  I remember when David and I first met. We were both young, and I had treated him like a hero too. But just when I stopped paying attention to him, he went looking elsewhere. The same thing with Aiden. The minute I pulled away, he blackmailed me.

  This is a game I need to win. David is asking me to do something for him. Will it benefit me? Without him, I will no longer be a wife. My life is meaningless, and there’s nothing in this world anymore.

  Perhaps we can do it sooner. Waiting will only get us depressed. Why is David prolonging it? There must be something he’s not telling me. I need to find out what.

  45

  Day 23

  David

  Liv and I are in the kitchen drinking beer and laughing about the good old days. I never a
nticipated I would be sharing jokes with my psychopath wife.

  “Do you remember that time you told me to buy you sanitary napkins?”

  “Oh yes.” She explodes into giggles. “And you ended up purchasing bladder control pads.”

  My cheeks are flamed from laughing. “I thought I learned my lesson the first time, but it happened again twice.”

  “Yes. That’s why I decided to wear a tampon instead.” She presses her lips against mine. “I want to ask you something.” Her eyes are guarded.

  “Sure.”

  “Why do we have to wait seven more days to pursue your plan?”

  I circle around the breakfast nook and open the refrigerator to grab two more beers. “I want to celebrate your birthday.”

  “Who cares about my birthday?”

  I set the beers on the countertop. “Am I such a liability that you want me dead now?”

  She raises her hands in the air as if to pacify me. Something’s not right. Liv’s starting to analyze my judgment.

  We don’t say a word. Fear creeps inside me.

  There’s a loud knock in the front door. We exchange glances, and Liv signals for me to go upstairs. Shit! Who could be outside?

  The knock continues as I dash up the stairs and lean my head against the hallway.

  Liv opens the door. “Can I help you?”

  I can’t hear the other person’s voice. My heart’s pounding too loud. Fuck, who is it?

  Suddenly, I hear the door close. I wait a few minutes, hoping Liv comes upstairs but she doesn’t. My palms begin to sweat. Where are you, Liv? Fuck! What is going on?

  My head spins and I try to calm my fears. Thank God Ruby advised me to put in a hidden camera. Why the hell did I trust my wife?

  As the minutes swing by, I tiptoe down the stairs toward the unlocked front door. I approach the window, checking to see any sign of Liv. Nada.

  Scrambling up the stairs, I grab my disposable cell phone underneath inside my office desk, and call Ruby.

  She answers after one ring. “Are you okay?”