Boss Lady

  I understood her, but my approach was a lot simpler than that. I had yet to live through the relationship drama that Tracy and other women had lived through.

  I said, “Well, I’m not saying that I’m not interested in guys, or that I won’t be, but right now I’m busy.”

  “Exactly,” my cousin agreed. “I used to be busy chasing an excitable daddy, but I don’t have the time or the energy to do that anymore. I can talk to my daddy every day now and create my own excitement. And when I need a man for company, I can get one. Hot dates are a dime a dozen, just make sure you have your own car and your own money in your pocket.”

  I smiled and chuckled. I always considered Tracy a player anyway. A lot of people read the book wrong, but the guys she went out with rarely chose her. She had always chosen them and made it seem like it was their choice.

  I said, “What if you don’t own your car or have your own money?”

  “In that case, you’re in the dark ages where a woman wore an apron but no shoes, and waited at the front door for her man to come home with the money.”

  She said, “Now, I may have dreamed about that love, marriage, and kids thing when I was your age, but do you really think I can sit home and wait for somebody while they have a regular day at the office or whatever? I’m just not that girl, Vanessa.”

  I asked her, “Has someone mentioned marriage and kids to you since you’ve been home?”

  I imagined that someone had. That was a big part of returning home. People always wanted to know what new things were going on in your life.

  “Oh, that’s been every day this week,” Tracy told me. “My mother, Raheema, Kiwana, emails. Carmen and Jantel are married now. Kendra back in L.A. Even Susan is thinking about getting married on me.”

  “What about Yolanda Felix and Mercedes?” I asked her. They were the two single women who were without kids, husbands, or fiancés.

  Tracy looked at me and said, “Do I really want to be compared to them?”

  She had a point. Mercedes and Yolanda did not seem to be content women at all. So I nodded and kept right on smiling as we reached the hotel.

  Loose Ends

  When we walked back into the hotel, Tracy asked me, “What do you think about what Bruce had to say tonight?”

  “I thought he was just telling the truth. He could have said it nicer, but it was still the truth.”

  “Yeah, his truth,” Tracy responded. “He needs to learn how to loosen up a bit and stop labeling people.”

  “So, what does Kiwana think about the movie?” I asked her. I was curious myself. Bruce had pushed the issue.

  Tracy said, “Of course she’s supportive.”

  “She told you that?” I asked my cousin. I needed her exact wording. I wanted to see what I could read from Kiwana’s exact words.

  “She doesn’t have to say it. I know she supports it.”

  That changed everything for me. I needed more proof of Kiwana’s loyalty. Bruce had turned me into a skeptic.

  “Are you gonna ask her like he told you to?”

  Tracy eyed me with conviction. She said, “Yes, I’ll call the girl and get it out of her. Okay? Is everybody happy now?”

  I smiled. She was overreacting.

  I said, “If you’re gonna act like that, it makes it seem like Kiwana doesn’t have your full confidence.”

  “She does have my confidence.”

  “Well, then, it shouldn’t be such a big deal to you.”

  “All right, let me call her right now. I know she’s up with the baby and everything.”

  I walked to the elevators with Tracy and waited. She then took out her cell phone and dialed Kiwana’s home number while we waited for the elevators to arrive.

  She waited for the phone to be answered. “Hey, how are you? I’m sorry to call this late, but is Kiwana still up with the baby . . . Oh, okay . . . Yeah, she can call me back. It’s not urgent or anything, I was just calling to make sure she made it back in . . . I’m fine. And how are you?”

  When Tracy disconnected the call, she said, “I don’t believe I called them at this time of night.” It was close to midnight.

  I said, “Well, I’m tired. I don’t think I got enough rest last night.”

  “What were you up doing?” Tracy asked me.

  We were still waiting for the elevators.

  I answered, “Just thinking about a lot of things. I still need to take my sister Veronica out to eat. And I still haven’t gone home to see my mother.”

  “You and me both,” Tracy stated. “But I’m surprised I haven’t seen Jason hanging around here this week. Has he tried to call Sasha and Jasmine?”

  “They haven’t talked about it,” I told her.

  As far as Jason was concerned, my plan was to give my cousin short answers and nothing more.

  She said, “I told him to stay away during the beginning of the week, but I didn’t think he’d actually listen to me.”

  I had no comment. I didn’t want to talk about Jason. He was out of my hands.

  But as soon as the elevator doors opened and guests walked off for us to walk on, Jason and his boy rounded the corner of the lobby with Maddy and Alexandria. They were on their way to the elevators as well.

  Tracy looked and said, “Speak of the devil.”

  “And the devil appears,” I added nervously.

  The charade was all over with. They would tell on me as quickly as they could, and I would finally be able to wipe my hands of the whole mess. It wasn’t of my doing anyway. All I did was introduce them.

  Jason and Alexandria looked hesitant for just a second, before they loosened up to speak. They couldn’t run away now. They were busted.

  Tracy asked, “And where are you all going at this hour?”

  Jason thought fast. “We’re just walking them back to the elevators,” he answered.

  “From where?”

  “From just hanging out.”

  “And where are Sasha and Jasmine?”

  Jason shrugged his shoulders. “Doing their own thing, I guess.”

  It was only a matter of time before they brought me into it. I was only counting the seconds as to when.

  “Well, how do you know Alexandria and Madison?” Tracy asked her brother.

  “We met them through Sasha and Jasmine.” Jason lied.

  Damn he was quick with his tongue. And I guess he was leaving me out of it, or trying to.

  Tracy said, “Oh, so you just dropped one set of girls and moved on to the next, hunh? Why, nothing was poppin’? Or has it already popped and now you’re moving on to the next party?”

  Jason answered, “We’re all just hangin’ out, Tracy. It’s not even that deep.”

  He was the only one doing the talking.

  Tracy looked them all over and sized them up.

  She said, “I thought you were sick, Alexandria.”

  Alexandria said, “Yeah, but that was yesterday.”

  “Oh, so you’re all better now.”

  “Yeah, I’m okay.”

  “And are you kicking it with my brother now?” Tracy asked her bluntly.

  Oh my God! I panicked. My cousin was that raw when she wanted to be.

  Alexandria looked at me for a hot second, and that was all that Tracy needed to put two and two together.

  “Oh, so Vanessa introduced you to him?”

  Alexandria was answering by not answering. She wasn’t quick on the tongue like Jason was.

  Jason said, “She’s not kicking it with me, and what difference does it make who introduced us. We’re all just hanging out, Tracy.”

  “And where were you about to go? Were you just walking them to the elevator?” Tracy asked her brother.

  He said, “Yeah, most people walk a girl to the door.”

  The elevator door was still open. Maddy tried to walk right on and leave us.

  Tracy said, “Get off that elevator, girl. We’re not finished talking yet.”

  Maddy said, “I thought you told u
s you were gonna be cool about things.”

  Jason said, “I know, man. What’s up with this third-degree shit?”

  His pretty-boy friend was standing there smiling with not a word.

  Tracy stopped cold in her tracks. She nodded her head and said, “Okay, okay, I get it. So go on back to what you were doing. Go on up to the girls’ rooms in the elevator, and I’ll act like I never saw you.”

  Jason insisted, “We weren’t going up to their rooms.”

  “Well, why walk into the hotel at all then? These girls are safe as soon as they walk into the building. You can’t get in at this hour without a key.”

  “We didn’t have no key to get in,” Jason’s friend spoke up.

  “Did I ask you?” Tracy snapped at him.

  “Naw, but . . .”

  “Okay, then,” she cut him off.

  He smiled, looked away, and shook his head.

  Jason said, “What’s the big deal anyway? Nobody’s kids out here.”

  “That’s what I’m saying,” Maddy agreed.

  Tracy said, “Well, get back on the elevator and do what you were doing then.”

  Jason stuck to his story. “We weren’t doing anything.”

  Finally, Alexandria shook her head and said, “I’m going up to bed.”

  “Good answer,” my cousin told her. “And that’s where you and your friend need to be going,” she told her brother.

  Jason shook his head at her.

  He said, “You trippin’, man. You playing yourself.”

  “No, you’re playing yourself. Out here creeping. You didn’t show up at one of the castings this week, but then you pop up at the hotel. What is that?”

  “You told me not to come to the castings until Wednesday. You said I would be a distraction.”

  “You would.”

  “Well, that’s why I didn’t come.”

  Alexandria and Maddy stepped inside the elevator to ride it up to their room.

  Tracy said, “Go on up. You, too, Vanessa.”

  I jumped on the elevator with my girls. Tracy remained in the lobby with her brother and his friend to discuss whatever. And when the doors closed, we rode the elevator up to our floor.

  Alexandria asked me, “What is wrong with her?”

  I played the innocent role. “What? What is wrong with who?”

  “With Tracy?” Maddy answered.

  I asked them, “Were they about to come up with you guys?”

  “Of course they were,” Maddy answered.

  “So why didn’t you say that?”

  “Because we can see that your cousin’s not having it,” Maddy answered again.

  “I thought she said she was going to be cool with us,” Alexandria brought up.

  “Well, I don’t know if that extended to hanging out with Jason,” I commented.

  “Why not? Doesn’t she trust her brother? I mean, what is he gonna do to us? And you’re the one who introduced me to him.”

  Alexandria had a valid point.

  I said, “I know, but that doesn’t make it right.”

  “Well, what’s wrong about it?” Maddy questioned. “Boys meet girls every day. And we’re not even boys and girls anymore. We’re young adults.”

  “Yeah, but we’re still under my cousin’s supervision while we’re out here. And we all have to respect that,” I told my girls.

  That was all that needed to be said.

  We arrived at our floor and walked to our separate rooms. Before I walked away from them, Maddy asked me, “Vanessa, do you like guys at all? I never see you with one. You don’t even talk about guys. You’re not gay, are you?”

  Alexandria looked and started laughing.

  I answered, “What do I have to do, sleep with a guy to prove to you that I’m not gay. I’m just doing me right now. Can’t a girl do that without worrying about a guy twenty-four/seven?”

  Maddy said, “That’s all well and good, but you never even seem to talk about guys. I mean, that’s just abnormal for a straight girl.”

  “Well, maybe I’m just different then.”

  “Whatever,” Alexandria mumbled under her breath. I guess Tracy and I had busted her back-to-back groove with Jason. Then again, maybe they had gotten busy before, and I had only caught them on one of the occasions.

  Maddy seemed ready to get her grove on as well. I had already busted her up with Shamor, so she had moved on to the next guy, Jason’s friend. And they were both right about me, I wasn’t even thinking about boys. I was thinking about shooting a very important film, and there would be plenty of guys to build a relationship with in the process of making the movie. Besides, I wanted a guy who understood my life goals and passion.

  I walked into my room, thinking about my own other half, and Mark Fletcher from Washington, D.C., who was up for the role of “Victor,” popped into my head. I wondered what he would be like in real life. But I didn’t know much about Washington, D.C. All I knew was that they partied to go-go music. Then I started thinking about the real-life Bruce, and I couldn’t get him off my mind. I wondered what he would think about my interest in another Victor type? It all seemed hypocritical. Were most girls hypocrites, asking for good guys while choosing the bad ones?

  Before I could answer that question, there was an urgent knock on my door. I walked over to answer it and found my cousin Tracy at the door. I figured she would want to talk to me again that night, but I assumed she would call me up to her suite to do it. I didn’t imagine her knocking on my door.

  I invited her inside and prepared myself for whatever she had to throw at me.

  “So, how heavily are they involved?” she asked.

  I figured there was no sense in beating around the bush about it. I wanted to wipe my hands from the situation and let my cousin deal with Alexandria and her brother on her own, if that’s what she wanted to do.

  I said, “Ask Alexandria, because I don’t want to be a part of this.”

  “Well, you did introduce them, right?”

  “Yeah, because Jason begged me to and he wouldn’t leave me alone about it.”

  “But I thought he hadn’t been over here at all,” Tracy said.

  I looked my cousin in the face and said, “I didn’t want you to think that I couldn’t control my girls, but they are their own people. I can’t tell them who not to talk to. That wouldn’t be right anyway. I wouldn’t want them telling me anything like that. I mean, they can give me their advice and their opinions, but that doesn’t mean I have to listen to it.”

  “So when did they all meet?”

  “Monday night.”

  Tracy just stared at me. Then she shook her head.

  She said, “Now I’m wondering if she was really sick last night, or if she just wanted to be alone with my brother. I always had a funny feeling about that girl.”

  I said, “Why are you acting like that? Why can’t Alexandria and Jason have something? I mean, why do you have us all feeling this way? We’re human like you are. And we want guys in our lives like you did at one time.”

  “Oh, so what are you saying?”

  “I’m just saying that we all feel a tremendous amount of pressure to please you and to measure up to your standards, when we all know that you were not perfect to begin with.”

  “Nobody asked for you to be perfect,” my cousin told me, “but I still want you guys to sidestep a lot of the mistakes I made. And if you understand the book at all, then that should be obvious.”

  “But everybody deserves an opportunity to make their own mistakes, Tracy. That’s life.”

  Tracy raised her fingers to her temples and took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

  She said, “You guys have no idea how this book has affected my life. The sequel book was much easier for me to take because I was a mature woman by then. But they don’t talk about the sequel, they talk about the first book, where I was wild and reckless. Now I’m just trying to make sure that I’m not standing idle while someone else is wild and reckless, be
cause they may not end up where I am today.”

  I listened to my cousin and began to smile at her.

  I said, “I know you’re gonna hate me for saying this, but that sounds just like some parents. They haven’t all written books about their lives like you have, but many of them have that same idea, that they don’t want to let their daughters make bad decisions. Nevertheless, we have to learn how to make decisions on our own regardless, or we’ll never be able to become women.

  “I mean, what are we gonna do, call home whenever we have snap decisions to make with the opposite sex?” I asked her. “Sometimes you just have to go with your gut, and sometimes your gut may lead you astray. But that’s life. You can’t stop that. And I’m wondering now how much of your life lessons I’ve already internalized that makes me adverse to guys. I mean, maybe it’s not just about me being busy. Maybe I’m busy on purpose, to keep away from having to make decisions about guys. You know?”

  “Hmm,” Tracy grunted. “You think that’s the case?”

  I said, “I don’t know. But you may be in the same boat yourself. I mean, maybe, since you’ve spent so much time explaining and defending your younger years, you’re not willing now to give up control of your life to really commit to a love relationship. Maybe now you keep a mental distance from guys on purpose, to stay in control, almost as a reaction to your lack of control as a teenager. I don’t know.”

  Tracy took a seat in the chair at the small desk in my room. I seemed to have silenced her with my ideas.

  She nodded her head and said, “You may be right. I mean, it makes sense. But how do you stop that behavior? I can’t just let go. I have too much riding on my shoulders now.”

  I listened to her question and thought about my own goals in life.

  I said, “That’s the dilemma for all women who have things they want to do in life. How do we do what we want to do, and have a husband, and raise kids? I mean, you’re gonna have to make sacrifices, and either you do or you don’t, but those decisions are always gonna be there.”

  I said, “Look at Kiwana. She had to bring her baby to dinner with us tonight for whatever reason, but Bruce didn’t. He’s the man. He was ready to talk to us all night long while his wife is at home with his kids. Is that fair? It may not be, but that’s what it is.”