Untainted: (Crime Romance: The Photographer Trilogy #3)

  “I don’t really think that there is anyone out there who knows what this has been like.” Kate responded, almost a whisper.

  “Maybe not, but there are women who could learn from you. You’ve handled this with an extraordinary strength, Kate. My whole career, I’ve never seen someone like you. McCraig hasn’t either, and he is an old geezer.” Liz chuckled.

  “He’s not that old, Liz.” Kate smiled, hinting at her friend.

  “I hear what you’re thinking, but I’m not going there.” She grinned, opening a door for Kate.

  “Whatever you say, Liz. You didn’t see his face when he thought you were gone. Poor guy looked like his heart had been torn into pieces!” Kate exclaimed, tossing her hands up in a defensive gesture.

  Liz just rolled her eyes and grinned, blushing all the while.

  “Seriously though, Kate. I really do want you to think about possible speaking at one of those meetings, or even speaking to law enforcement. This case is going to be studied every which way in every police academy for the next fifty years, so your perspective on it would be monumental to training future officers.”

  “You really think so?” Kate pondered the idea, wondering if it was possible for something good to come out of all that had happened.

  “Without a doubt. Weren’t you planning on going back to school for social work eventually, anyway? It’s a perfect fit.” Liz nodded to her.

  “Maybe, I haven’t thought about it since before all this happened, you know?” Kate told her and Liz glanced at her.

  “I get that. Just think about it.” Kate nodded in agreement.

  They went through several barriers of secured doors and down multiple concrete hallways, until they finally reached a holding area. Before they entered, Liz stopped and looked at her again.

  “Just have to check again, are you sure you want to see Frank?”

  “Liz, I’m sure. I need to do this, for closure.”

  “He’s going to be moved tomorrow to prison, that’s a few hours away, so I doubt you will want to make that trip often.” Liz told her.

  “Don’t worry, this will be the last time I ever lay eyes on him.” Kate told her.

  “Okay, but be careful. He knows how to get under people’s skin. Don’t let him do that to you ever again.” Liz warned and Kate nodded.

  Liz opened the door for her and Kate walked into the holding area. There was a wall of metal bars, mostly vertical, but several horizontal as well, in the center of the room dividing it.

  One side had a few chairs and a desk, the side she entered on. The other side had a bench against the wall and a metal toilet in the corner, nothing else. However, the first thing she saw when she walked in was Frank sitting on the bench, looking bored.

  “Katie?” He seemed surprised, but immediately a smile found it’s way across his face.

  She didn’t say anything as she walked to the center of the room and stared at him. She didn’t bother to sit down because she wasn’t going to stay long. He stood up and walked toward her, his arms crossed over his chest.

  “Didn’t think I would have any visitors.” He winked at her, but she felt nothing. Not even the disgust and nausea she had felt before. He didn’t have any affect on her anymore, she had taken back her power.

  “Remember how you used to take pictures of the women you hurt and killed? As some sort of trophy? As if you won and they lost, and you never wanted to forget?” She said suddenly, catching him off guard.

  “Yeah, you still have yours?” He quickly composed himself and smiled at her again.

  “No, the police have it locked away in evidence I’m sure. I just wanted to come by to take my own trophy.” She told him, then opened up her purse and reached inside.

  He watched her hand, a nervous look on his face as he took a step backward.

  “What are you talking about?” He said, the smile gone.

  She pulled an old camera out of her purse, the kind that took instant photographs just like Frank had used. Lifting it up to her face, she peered through the lens and watched his expression turn from fear to fury as she pushed down on the button.

  “Smile, Frank. I won.” Kate grinned, staring through the lens at him.

  The flash popped up between them and a mechanical whirring sound pushed the photograph out of the front of the camera. Smiling, she slipped them both back in her purse and walked back out the door, leaving a defeated Frank and his string of cursing behind her.

  EPILOGUE

  Four years later

  “In conclusion, I would like to thank you all for inviting me to speak today. Every officer in this room, every social worker, every victim- whoever you may be. Know that to learn, we need to listen to one another and to heal, we need to talk to one another. So, thank you for listening to my story, for letting me heal little by little right on this stage.” Kate spoke softly into the microphone.

  “Every speech I give, I specifically want to dedicate it to every man and woman who has survived a sexual assault like I have. To every man and woman who has looked evil in the face and can still hold their head high, still love, and still remember that there is good in this world if you are willing to look for it.”

  “Lastly, and most importantly, to everyone who has learned that the evil we’ve seen and the evil we’ve been, will never define who we are inside. The world might be tainted, but we don’t have to be.” Kate nodded her head, smiling slightly as she turned from the podium and walked off stage.

  She was shaking slightly, like she did after every speech. A mixture of nerves, memories, and emotions as she finished reliving it all in front of an audience.

  “Kate, that was perfect! You’re a natural at this!” Liz grinned and grasped Kate’s hand as she stepped into the back area behind the stage.

  “You think? I was so nervous! I’m not a public speaker.” Kate exhaled loudly, feeling as if she was releasing the air she had been holding in since she first got on stage.

  “If that’s true, I couldn’t tell. I doubt anyone in the audience could.” Liz shrugged.

  “I hope so. I’ve been doing these seminars for years, but every time still feels like the first.” Kate shook her head as she followed Liz out of the building toward their cars.

  “Well, all those years at grad school taught you well because no one but you can see any nervousness. Shit, can you believe that it’s been four years since we first met?” Liz looked at her, looping her arm around her friend’s elbow.

  “It’s insane, unbelievable.”

  “Katie?” An unfamiliar voice called out to her as they stepped out onto the sidewalk in front of the building.

  Both women stopped to turn and find the voice. An older woman, looking to be in her late fifties, was approaching them hesitantly. It was clear that she was uncertain about talking to them, glancing up at them very briefly under a thick layer of dark brown bangs she used to hide her face. Liz and Kate waited for her to walk over to them, it was only a few feet, but the woman moved at a glacial pace.

  Kate furrowed her brows as she stared at the woman, trying to figure out where she knew her from. No one but her family had ever called her ‘Katie’ and it had been just under four years since her sister, Annie, had passed away.

  “It can’t be...” Kate started, then dropped Liz’s arm and took a step toward the woman.

  “Kate, who is it?” Liz asked, but held back.

  Kate closed the gap between her and the older woman, standing less than a foot in front of her. The woman was a few inches taller than her, but slowly moved her eyes from the ground up to meet Kate’s.

  “Hi, Katie.” The woman spoke softly, fear evident in her tone.

  “Mom?”

  “It’s been a while. It’s good to see you again.” Her mother looked at her intently, taking in her daughter’s face for the first time since she had walked out on her family.

  “It’s been twenty-four years, Mom. That’s a little more than a while.” Kate’s jaw was clenched for a moment, try
ing to wrap her mind around the moment.

  “I know, and I can’t explain. There is no explanation worth even trying to tell you. I’m so sorry, Katie. I was such a selfish coward. I don’t even deserve a second chance, but-”

  “You want a second chance?” Kate interrupted.

  “At what? Being a mother? They don’t give re-do’s on parenthood, Mom.” She spat out, venting her anger.

  She wasn’t going to feel sorry for the woman, she deserved it. She deserved a chance to state her mind, to pour out her pain. Twenty four years of pain. Growing up without a mother had been one of the hardest things that she ever had to do, but knowing that her mother had made her feel it was her fault made it even worse. What had happened to her as a child made her mother leave and her mother had blamed her.

  “How did you even find me?” Kate asked, her hands on her hips.

  “Your face was all over the news a few years ago, and...” Her mother started.

  “And Annie’s.” Kate finished.

  Her mother nodded, tears springing to her eyes and quickly overflowing the brims of her eyelashes and sliding down her cheeks. Kate dropped her hands from her hips at the sight and shifted her weight onto one foot. She wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her upper arms, almost trying to comfort herself in such an uncomfortable moment.

  “Why didn’t you try to find me four years ago?” Kate asked, tilting her head, her voice softer this time.

  “I wanted to get clean. I didn’t want to show up the way I was, dependent on prescription pills. I wasn’t myself. You didn’t deserve to see me that way after everything you were going through. After seeing what happened to Annie, I just knew I had to fix my life. I had to get my family back. At the very least, I had to apologize in a clean and sober state. I’m sober six months now.” Her mother sniffed and wiped her tears on the cuff of her shirt.

  “Get your family back? You left us.” Kate sighed, sadness in her voice now.

  “I know, Katie. It was the biggest mistake of my life.”

  “And now most of your family is dead.” Kate finished.

  A loud sob broke through her mother’s voice and her shoulders shook as her head bowed. Sniffling and continued sobs came from her as Kate stood there, working hard to keep her own tears back. Kate reached her hand out and squeezed her mother’s forearm.

  “Come on, Mom. There’s someone I want you to meet.”

  ~~~~~~

  “Derrick? I’m home!” Kate called out, walking through her front door and tossing her keys on a side table.

  “Are Liz and Mike with you?” He called from the kitchen.

  “Mike’s on his way over, he had to work late.” Liz responded, walking in after Kate and heading to the kitchen.

  “Liz! Holy crap, you’re bigger and bigger each time I see you. You look like a beached whale.” Derrick grinned, teasing her as he wrapped his arms around her when she walked into the kitchen.

  Kate rolled her eyes at him and he winked at her.

  “Derrick, you cannot say something like that to a pregnant woman.” Kate chastised him, stealing her spot in front of him and leaning in for a kiss.

  “Don’t worry about it, Kate. As soon as I’m off maternity leave, I’m going to arrest your husband for aggravating a cop.” Liz laughed and pulled out a seat from the dining room table that faced the kitchen, lowering her swollen body into the chair.

  Kate’s mother slowly filled the entrance way to the kitchen and Derrick stared at her confused. Kate turned around to see her, then walked over and took her hand and guided her over to Derrick.

  “Derrick, I want you to meet my mother, Barbara. Mom, meet my husband, Derrick.” Kate introduced them as Liz watched, having already been introduced.

  “You can just call me, Barb.” Her mother smiled at him.

  “What?” Derrick’s mouth fell open in surprise as he looked back and forth between Kate and her mother.

  “After my speech, she came up to me in the parking lot. We were going to have a big dinner anyway, so I figured why not invite her.” Kate shrugged, hoping Derrick would handle it well.

  She knew that he felt protective of her and would worry that her mother was back for malicious reasons. Kate was worried about that too, but she had lived so many years in fear and reserved, not taking a chance at life. She wasn’t going to do that anymore.

  “Wow, I don’t even know what to say. Well, it’s good to meet you.” Derrick put his hand out to shake her mother’s hand.

  Kate’s mother didn’t shake his hand, instead she tossed her arms around him and gave him a huge hug. He looked surprised, but then gently hugged her back. Kate grinned, amused at Derrick’s discomfort.

  “Thank you, Derrick. Thank you so much.” Her mother said to him.

  “You’re welcome. Uhm, for what?” Derrick chuckled, pulling back to look her in the eyes.

  “For taking care of my daughters.” Barb told him, giving him a kiss on the cheek and then turning to hug Kate for the twentieth time since she had approached her a little over an hour ago.

  Derrick’s eyes misted up, and Kate sniffed slightly at the memory of her sister.

  “They’re great girls, Barb.” Derrick told her, then turned around to the stove to stir the spaghetti.

  Kate knew that he was really just trying to hide his face so everyone wouldn’t see his tears. She knew Derrick missed Annie just as much as she did, and she loved him even more for that.

  A high pitched squealing sound suddenly broke the heavy silence and a small young girl came barreling around the corner, dressed up in high heels that fit her entire foot in the toes, a dress that left a ridiculously long train behind her, and a plastic silver and rhinestone tiara on top of her springy, brown curls.

  “Aunty Liz! Look at me!” The little girl giggled as she skittered past the dining room table, making her way into the kitchen.

  She almost fell, but caught herself at the last minute as she lifted up the rest of her dress so she could walk. Liz laughed at the sight, and Derrick shook his head, even though a huge grin spread over her face.

  “Mom, look! I’m you!” She giggled and threw herself onto Kate’s legs, wrapping her arms tightly around them.

  “Is that my dress? And my shoes?” Kate smiled at her daughter as she reached down and slid her hands under her arms, pulling her up into an embrace.

  “No, it’s princess clothes, Mommy. I’m a princess!” She giggled, her chubby hands on her mom’s cheeks as Kate kissed her.

  “The prettiest princess ever.” Derrick said, coming up behind them and kissing his daughter on her head.

  Kate turned around to face her mother who was standing behind her, quietly. There was a look of surprise and delight on her face, as she stared at the little girl.

  “Mom, speaking of daughters, I would like you to meet mine.” Kate put her daughter down on the ground in between them and both women knelt down to be on her eye level.

  “Hi there, princess. You’re so beautiful. What’s your name?” Barb smiled widely at the little girl and put her hand out toward her.

  Kate’s daughter glanced up at her mother, uncertain of the stranger, but Kate gave her an approving nod. She shyly took a step forward and grasped Barb’s hand with both of hers.

  “My name is Annie. What’s your name?” The little girl smiled back, her face brightening up the entire room with her perfect smile.

  Barb sucked in her breath for a moment at the reminder, tears springing to her eyes. She smiled, sadly, yet also with pure joy as she clasped her other hand around both of Annie’s.

  “Hi Annie, I’m your Grandma Barb.” She told the little girl as Kate watched, smiling.

  “Grandma? Like Nana?” Annie turned to look at her mom, confused.

  “No, Nana is Daddy’s mom. This is my mommy.” Kate explained to her daughter, kissing her forehead.

  “I get to have two Nanas?” Annie gasped in delight.

  “Yep, you do, princess.” Derrick told her while Kate and h
er mother nodded in agreement.

  “Aunty Liz! Aunty Liz! I have two Nanas!” The little girl stepped out of her mom’s shoes, rocketed away barefoot from them, across the kitchen, to tell the news to Liz who was still seated at the table watching the whole scene before her.

  “You’re so lucky, Annie!” Liz told her, ruffling the hair on her head.

  “Nana! Nana!” Annie was suddenly back, squealing as she bounced up and down in front of Barb.

  “Yes, Annie?”

  “I’m the best gran-baby. Other Nana said so. You think I’m the best gran-baby too, right?” She looked up in earnest and Barb couldn’t help herself from reaching down to pick up the little girl and hug her tight.

  “The very best!” She agreed.

  “Who’s the best?” A deep voice bellowed behind them and everyone turned to the doorway.

  “Uncle Mike! Look! I’ve got two Nanas!” Annie shouted excitedly to the new arrival.

  “Do you now?” Mike grinned, raising one eyebrow in questioning at Derrick and Kate, who both waved him off with a gesture meaning that they would explain later.

  “How was work, man?” Derrick said, clasping his friend on the back.

  “Good, long. Where’s my ball and chain?” He grinned, fully knowing Liz could hear him as she pushed herself up out of the chair and walked toward him, smiling.

  “Such a romantic, how do the ladies keep their hands off you?” Liz said sarcastically as Mike wrapped his arms around her and kissed her squarely on the lips, passionately deepening their kiss for a moment before he took half a step back and leaned down.

  “How’s my little spawn doing?” He spoke to Liz’s belly and then kissed her stomach gently, caressing her while she laughed.

  “Alright, let’s have dinner before Mike says something else.” Derrick chimed in, laughing as he brought a big pot of spaghetti over to the already set table.

  “Come on, Mom. Come join us.” Kate ushered her toward the table, while Barb was still holding Annie.

  Barb grinned, tears in her eyes, as she walked into the dining room and helped put Annie in her booster chair, then picked the seat next to her granddaughter. Mike and Liz sat on one end and Kate with Derrick on the other. Everyone began serving themselves large piles of spaghetti and talking over one another.