Chords of Strength

  My dad has always encouraged me and supported me

  Absence does make the heart grow fonder, which I was able to learn only from being away. Just being far from the people I love most gave me an entirely new perspective. I began to appreciate my siblings so much more, seeing them each shine with their own unique gifts, skills and passions. My new point of view has also helped me to see my parents for what they really are: supportive, encouraging, inspiring and basically the rocks that I will always lean on through good and bad experiences.

  My father, for example, was always there for me. He was the one who really looked after me in this crazy time in my life and during this whole journey starting when I was very young. In this entertainment world of adults, it could be easy for a young, naive newcomer like myself to get manipulated and taken advantage of. But my dad was always looking out for me. He helped make sure that each decision we were faced with was made carefully, and he made sure to find people to be part of our “team,” who would respect my values and make sure they didn’t take advantage of my lack of experience. My dad is the one who has always understood me from the very beginning, and the reasons why I really wanted to sing and get into music in the first place. He helped me stay grounded when things got difficult. He was the one person who constantly kept this in mind despite the challenges surrounding me. He made sure that I always had what I needed and helped me feel prepared when I wasn’t sure what I should do. He sacrificed a lot in order to help me have all the opportunities I’ve been able to experience so far.

  I couldn’t have accomplished any of what I’ve done without my dad, who was willing to give up so much of his own time and energy to make sure things would go as smoothly as possible for me. I know it wasn’t easy for him, and I appreciate all he’s gone through. To me he’s been an example of how a father shows love to his son. His support has been unconditional and constant, and for that I am truly grateful.

  As for my mom, she was a big part of my musical influence as well, but that’s only touching the surface. She has always been a positive, loving role model not only to me, but also to all of my siblings equally. Her love of entertaining made singing and performing something extra-special in our home, but that wasn’t nearly as important as the way she always took such good care of our family so unselfishly. Her zest for music was a constant, but I remember more of how she would get up every morning before school and fix us endless stacks of pancakes, French toast, and oatmeal. I spent much of my youth listening to my mom sing her heart out, and I know a lot of my inspiration also comes directly from her.

  Emotion is the driving force of all my shows

  But as serious as I am about music, I’m just even more intent on making sure my family relationships and friendships are properly taken care of. These are the people who have loved me unconditionally, some ever since I was a little kid, since before I even knew that things like American Idol or Star Search existed. These are the people who believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. They are the ones who have always shown me respect for who I was, not for what I have accomplished. I feel like I have learned so much from my friends, and I take a lot of my cues directly from these people, who have not only been by my side as pals but also, in many ways, serve as role models for the kind of person I want to be. Some of my closest friends are so motivating in the way they live and the choices they make, and since I’m surrounded by the often superficial world of “the industry,” it’s always so refreshing for me to be able to come home to what’s familiar, what’s real.

  I see it as my duty to give back whenever I can . . .

  Friends are the ones who will always have your back and their perspective on you doesn’t change no matter what! They keep it simple, they keep it real and they keep it familiar. To me, that’s priceless. They don’t look at me just as a famous singer; they look at me as David.

  I guess I see it as my duty to give back whenever I can, even if that means finding a minute here or a second there between meetings and appointments to make sure that the people in my world feel as loved and cared for as I always have. I feel that besides one’s own sense of self-worth, the most powerful strength you can get is the love and support that someone else is willing to give you. There’s nothing more empowering than knowing that someone else believes and has faith in you; especially when that someone is a person you love and respect, or who has always been a part of your life. In a way, it’s almost like this type of strength is what makes the world go round, with all of us just trying to help one another out, a chain link of love that lets people shine. I don’t think we can overstate how important love is—not romantic love necessarily, but instead true, pure, unconditional love. It’s the stuff we’re all made of when we’re at our best, and the stuff we should all aim to cultivate throughout life.

  Something else that always comes to mind when I think about what it takes to stay true is accepting that life isn’t always pretty. Everyone knows that the human condition comes with all kinds of situations—the good, the bad and the ugly. Pain and hardship are almost impossible to avoid, right? For me, the best thing you can do when you feel pain or hardship is to use it as a tool for putting things into perspective. I guess because of how fast things have happened to me, people often say, “Oh, wow, it’s like you’re living a dream!” I understand why someone on the outside of my life might come to that conclusion, and this has been a dream for me; but I am human and I feel happiness and pain just like everyone else. Rather than feeling sorry for ourselves when the chips are down, we should take stock of the things that we actually feel happy and grateful for. If you think about it this way, pain can become like a barometer or a point of reference against which to measure the other aspects of your life that are going well. It’s almost like without the darkness, we can’t really appreciate the light.

  For me, music is a way to communicate. It’s a way of letting all that emotion out into the world, so that other people can hopefully relate in some way. I think when people relate to one another it creates this sense of community in the world.

  If you always focus on what hasn’t worked out the way you wanted, you miss out on seeing all those things that have. If you focus on the pain, you’re not looking at the complete picture. Without the struggle, we can’t really appreciate the joy when it comes. I could go on talking about pain in songs, but the thing that really drives me as a person and as a singer is the light in life, the high points. I know that the only way you can paint the complete picture of those high points is to also show and feel the low ones; but in the end, for me the joy always beats the pain. If I only ever looked at the bad things in life through my music, it would be such a plain and ugly picture. Whenever anything is too one dimensional, it’s kind of boring. I mean, you don’t want to look at a canvas that’s painted completely gray, do you? Of course not! You want to see colors come alive; you want to see something happen; you want to see something dynamic with depth. You want to see all those beautiful, bright colors, but they will look that much more stunning if they’re painted against the darker, dimmer colors that give a sense of contrast. It’s everything together that makes the picture come to life. I think the same is true with music. In order to show people a sense of wholeness, I think it’s really important to give them a wide range of emotion. In this way, I like to think of the songs I sing as symbolizing a slice of life—real life, with all the beauty and pain that’s naturally built in to it.

  To me, staying true is about knowing how to define success. The irony about that is that my success as a performer is not really what matters to me the most. It’s totally the opposite: I try not to think about the fact that people like me, or enjoy the way that I sing. It’s not about how far I’ve come, or what I’ve accomplished. It all goes back to the basic idea of sharing: sharing a moment with someone, sharing my passion, sharing a feeling that I may have experienced that maybe someone in my audience is going through right now. This is really at the heart of everything I stand for, and it’s t
he most important thing to me in regard to my music. That’s why I like to call my singing a gift and not a talent, because a gift is something that passes from one hand to the next, as a gesture of goodwill, as an act of compassion and love. “Talent” implies some degree of unique skill, whereas “gift” takes the simple description one step further and makes that talent something meaningful to share with the rest of the world. Talent mostly serves the person who has it—but a gift, by definition, is something special to give and receive. To me, this is the heart and soul of music.

  This is a show in Rockford, IL. I love how calm I look in this one

  It’s like if you heard a really funny joke, and never told it to anyone. Because when you hear that joke, you want to share it with someone, and it is actually the funniest when you hear someone else laugh at it, or when you get your chance to tell it for yourself. You want that other person to experience the punch line just like you did when you first heard it. It’s like that with music, too. I naturally want to pass on what I felt when I first heard a song because to me that’s what makes music so special: It’s for everyone. It’s ours.

  If I had to break it all down to answer the question of how I stay true, it always goes back to the simple things: happiness, giving, loving, and sharing. Those are the things that are important, and everyone has different ways of finding them. You might think that sounds oversimplified, but I believe that when we simplify, we make life that much easier to handle. I think the way my life has unfolded has only helped me to see those simple little things much more clearly. The whole fame and recognition game makes the really important things stand out in a way that shows me how meaningful they truly are. I have a deeper sense of appreciation for the small things in life that maybe I took for granted before all of this happened. I’m able to enjoy life’s little treats with a new point of view, one that’s largely shaped by gratitude.

  I believe the only true measure of success is knowing that at each moment, you’re living your life to its fullest. For me success is not measured by any single goal or milestone—but instead, by knowing that each second of life is precious and that no matter how high on the ladder you think you’ve climbed, there is always room for growth and progress. Once you let yourself believe that you’ve gotten to the top, you’ve lost sight of the real goal, which is to keep climbing no matter what. And by climbing, I don’t mean trying to outdo yourself with even more accomplishments. Instead, what I mean is that just when we think we have done something well, we should start looking at the other areas of our lives that also need our attention.

  This is from one of my recent tours

  Again, if I take my own life as an example, it’s important for me to be able to look at all the aspects of my world—not just music, singing and performing. After all, I am so much more than that. Before I was ever a singer, I was a son, a brother, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin, a friend—a person. Like everyone in the world, I come with many dimensions and I like to think that life is our chance to explore all of those dimensions and be the best we can in each one. Again, the moment we focus on only part of our existence, we lose the big picture; and the big picture is so much more interesting and complete than any one little thing in it.

  Staying true is about knowing how to define success.

  Another critical lesson I’ve learned along the way is how to stick up for myself. Before all of this, I was just grateful to get the chance to sing, at any cost. Now that I’ve proven to myself that I can sing, and that I’m meant to, I feel a bit more confident to speak my mind when it comes to the kind of music I want to do. Maybe that’s just part of growing up, or part of the learning curve that comes with anything. But I can tell you that it’s totally empowering to know what you want and to be able to communicate it. I’m not saying that you should always think people are out to get you, but I have definitely learned how important it is to not be naive and to stand up for whatever your beliefs may be, whether it’s about music, my personal beliefs or anything in between. Experience has taught me that all relationships, whether personal or professional, have to be about both parties helping one another—equally.

  I know now that I can’t just blindly accept what people tell me, and that I have to really think everything through and make choices that work for me. I’m not talking about being selfish—I’m talking about being honest with yourself about your need to feel good about whatever it is you are doing at any given time, and with a bit of maturity I’ve learned to step back and think about what works for me and what doesn’t, without feeling bad about upsetting anyone or letting people down. I now realize that it would ultimately be much worse if I let myself down. After all, it is my life, and I should feel good about the decisions being made that will affect it. As I get older, I am clearer about the need to pay close attention to everything that’s being asked of me, and all of the expectations that I’m supposed to meet. I think it’s really important to set my own limits and create my own sense of expectations, because I’m the one who goes to bed at night and wakes up each morning with myself, so ultimately I’m the one responsible for my own peace of mind. As far as music goes, it’s going to be my face on the cover of the album—so I better make sure I like how I am being represented. Better yet, I should be directly involved in deciding how to represent myself. This is also a major part of staying true.

  the moment we focus on only part of our existence, we lose the big picture

  It’s about learning that sometimes you have to say no, and sometimes you have to be firm, and that it’s okay. It’s okay to not please everyone all the time. Sometimes you have to build the courage to say, “You know what? I would rather do it this way,” or “Actually, I prefer this kind of direction,” or “I’m sorry. That’s just not who I am or what I want to say.” Sometimes you have to be strong enough to simply say, “No, thanks. Not this time.” I remember when it used to be really hard for me to do this, when I was afraid of letting anyone down. I just wanted to make people happy. But I guess life gradually teaches us the lessons that we’re meant to learn, and in time, we figure out what we need in order to live happier. The funny thing about it is that people tend to show you more respect when you do stick up for yourself and speak your mind. They take you more seriously and begin to understand that your point of view matters and will ultimately create a better outcome.

  One of the other lessons I have learned is that sometimes you have to pick your battles and that there’s no use complaining about every little thing that comes up. Nothing is ever going to be perfect, so the best we can do is accept the fact that things take time and effort, and hopefully the end result is something that you can live with or better yet, be proud of. Music, like life, is a learning process. First you have to learn the melody; then you start memorizing the words, soon you are making the song your own, and before you know it, you’re singing with pure, true emotion. But it doesn’t happen overnight, and it takes all kinds of practice before you can actually feel good about yourself. I think the trick is to trust the process and enjoy the ride, not thinking about what the end result will be, but instead savoring the beauty of every little part along the way.

  I have learned so much about myself over the years—good and bad. I’ve realized that the more I know about myself, the more I can live the rest of my life in a way that makes sense. Knowing myself well allows me to move forward with my strengths and weaknesses in check; it lets me get closer to what my ultimate goals really are. And beyond goals, knowing myself keeps me rooted in my truth. I understand now that even though your essence doesn’t change, the things you go through as a person do change. So I think the key in life is to always be able to hold on to your essence no matter what happens.

  In short, staying true is about staying grounded, and staying grounded is about never losing sight of who you really are.

  CHAPTER 11

  DREAMING ON

  “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing,
you will be successful.”

  —ALBERT SCHWEITZER

  The future can be a scary thing, because it’s something that’s always left open for anything to happen. It’s a total mystery. But at the same time, it’s so exciting. Each decision we the same time, it’s so exciting. Each decision we make can alter how our future will turn out, so how we end up in the future is really our decision. We never know what will be thrown at us, but it’s up to each of us as to how we deal with whatever does come. No one else can decide that for us. While I might be wondering about what will happen down the road for me, and get nervous about it every now and then, I am also really hopeful for it because I know there will be so many windows of opportunity that can really change my life if I choose to take hold of them and not be afraid to go for it.

  The proof is in the pudding: look at my smile!

  I think the word “success” is another thing that has been distorted by people. They say that you can’t be happy and successful until the world knows who you are, or you no longer have to work hard for things. I really think that you become successful when you are on a path that you feel you are progressing on, and feel like you are accomplishing things that are worthwhile each day. Success to me is when you’ve found happiness. If you’ve reached “success” but still aren’t happy, then have you really reached the point of true success? It doesn’t make sense to me if you have one but not the other, because I think they go hand in hand. We should strive to succeed in finding happiness. Or maybe success means that you’ve worked hard, accomplished your goals, enjoy what you do, and have been satisfied with what you’ve done in your life. Shouldn’t that make you happy?