The Face

  I couldn’t remember.

  I remembered shoving him. He wanted to keep kissing me. And I didn’t want him to. I shoved him away from me. Shoved with real anger.

  But I couldn’t drag up the rest of the scene.

  “It makes sense,” I murmured in a dull, lifeless voice. “It all makes sense.”

  I was the only one who lost her memory.

  And then I began to draw his face. Every time I started to draw, I sketched Sean’s face.

  Because of my guilt.

  Because my subconscious mind knew that I had murdered him.

  “Oh!” I backed away from the bag.

  It was too much to bear. I felt about to collapse. My head spun and my knees started to give way.

  I heard Adriana’s footsteps on the stairs.

  And then another horrifying question forced its way into my thoughts: Does everyone know?

  Does everyone know that I killed him? I wondered, gripped with cold horror.

  Does everyone suspect that I was the one?

  Is that why they’ve all acted so strangely around me? Is that why they’ve been treating me so carefully, so tenderly?

  Is that what drove Aaron away?

  Because he knew? Because they all know that I’m a murderer?

  If only I could remember why I killed him….

  “Martha—!” Adriana burst into my room. She tried to wrap me in a hug. But I lurched back.

  “I know the truth!” I managed to tell her. And then I burst into tears.

  Adriana stepped forward and tried again to hug me. This time I didn’t move away. “Martha, what are you saying?” she whispered. “Martha, it’ll be okay. Really. It’ll be okay.”

  “No, it won’t!” I shrieked, pulling away from her. I wiped my cheeks furiously with both hands. “I know the truth!” I insisted. “It won’t be okay!”

  I could see the confusion on her face. She tugged at her black hair, her dark eyes narrowed on me.

  She doesn’t know! I realized.

  “Look!” I wailed. I dropped down on my knees beside the canvas bag. I pulled it open wide so she could see. “Look!”

  Her hands stayed in her hair, tugging tensely as she peered down into the bag. “No,” she whispered. “No.”

  “It’s the wire,” I told her, even though she already knew. “The leftover wire. And the wire cutters.”

  “But, Martha—”

  “I killed Sean,” I said in a low, flat voice. A dead voice. “Here’s the proof.”

  “But, why—?” Adriana demanded, holding on to her hair as if grasping a life preserver.

  “I don’t know,” I answered. “I don’t remember. But here’s the proof. I killed him. Then I hid the rest of the wire in my bag.”

  Adriana lowered her eyes to the bag. Then she shut her eyes, and I saw her whole body shudder. “What are you going to do?” she asked.

  “Tell Mom and Dad,” I replied. “I’m going to tell Mom and Dad. I guess they’ll have to take me to the police.”

  My words made Adriana jerk back. She fell onto my bed, her hands flying up. “But why, Martha? Why did you kill him?”

  “I don’t remember,” I said, shaking my head, trying to force back the tears.

  “I saw you two fighting,” Adriana remembered. “That night in the cabin. You and Sean went into the back room. I passed by and I saw you arguing. What was it about?”

  I shrugged. “I wish I knew. I just can’t remember. He kissed me, I think. Or maybe I kissed him. And then we were fighting. And then …” My voice trailed off.

  I took a deep breath. “I don’t know anything for sure. I only know that I’m a murderer.”

  “No, you’re not!”

  Another voice invaded my room.

  A boy’s voice. From the bedroom doorway.

  I turned to see Ivan stride in. His black hair disheveled. His dark eyes wild.

  “Ivan—!” Adriana cried, jumping up from the bed. “How did you get here? What are you doing here?”

  “I followed you,” he told his sister. “Martha’s parents let me in just before they left.”

  “But what do you want?” Adriana demanded shrilly. “Martha and I need to talk. We don’t need you to—”

  He waved his hand hard, a rough, sweeping motion intended to shut her up.

  His eyes blazed excitedly as he turned to me.

  Has he been drinking? I wondered. Is that why he seems so out of control?

  Why did he follow Adriana?

  Why did he come here?

  “I—I heard what you were saying, Martha,” he stammered. His dark eyes burned into mine. “You’re wrong. You’re not the murderer.”

  “Huh?” I gasped in shock. “Ivan—what do you mean? Why do you say that?”

  He took a deep breath. His chest heaved up and down. Despite the cold of the night, his forehead was drenched with sweat.

  “I know you’re not the murderer, Martha,” he repeated. “Because I am. I murdered Sean.”

  chapter 23

  “No!”

  Adriana let out a wild shriek and lunged across the room. She grabbed Ivan by the shoulders and started to shake him wildly.

  “No! Why are you saying that? Why?”

  He tossed her aside easily. She collided with my dresser, her face twisted in surprise, in fear.

  “You’re not a murderer!” she screamed at her brother.

  “Yes!” he insisted. “I did it, Adriana. I have no choice now. I have to tell the truth. I can’t let Martha think she was the one.”

  Adriana uttered a loud gasp. She opened her mouth to protest, but changed her mind. I saw her shoulders slump, the color drain from her face.

  Ivan perched on the edge of my desk. His hand nervously brushed the small, black goatee under his chin. He raised his eyes to me. “I couldn’t let you think you were the one,” he said softly.

  “I—I—” I sputtered. I didn’t know what to say. I glanced at the canvas bag. It had bared its frightening secret.

  And now my life would never be the same.

  None of our lives would be the same.

  “Why did you kill Sean?” I asked Ivan, softly, almost calmly.

  “He found out that I’d stolen a car,” Ivan explained. “I stole a car and I wrecked it. I ran away. I wasn’t caught.”

  “I don’t believe it,” Adriana murmured, shaking her head. She lowered herself to her knees on the floor.

  “I made a mistake,” Ivan continued, “I told Sean about it. I thought he was my friend. I had to tell someone. I—I was kind of scared. I couldn’t keep it to myself. But I never should have told him.”

  He lowered his head. His dark hair fell over his forehead. He shut his eyes.

  “What happened?” I asked softly.

  Ivan sighed. “Sean started asking me for money. He said he’d turn me in to the police if I didn’t give it to him.”

  “And did you do it?” Adriana demanded.

  Ivan nodded. “What choice did I have? If I got caught stealing that car, I’d be dead meat. My life would be over. So I kept giving Sean the money he asked for. There was just one problem….” His voice trailed off. He rubbed his eyes.

  “What problem?” I urged.

  “Sean kept asking for more and more. He was never satisfied. I—I—” Ivan’s voice broke.

  He took a deep breath and started again. “A couple of times I had to steal to get the money for Sean. That’s when I knew I had to do something. Something drastic. I couldn’t go on paying and paying and paying.”

  Down on the floor Adriana let out a disgusted groan. But she didn’t say anything.

  “Did you ever try to talk to Sean?” I demanded. “Did you ever try to reason with him?”

  Ivan nodded. “Just before our trip up to the cabins, I tried talking to him. I told him I couldn’t pay him any more money.”

  “And what did he say?” I asked.

  A bitter smile crossed Ivan’s face. “Sean laughed at me. He said I’d keep
paying. Or else he’d go tell my dad.” Ivan’s smile faded. “That’s when I lost it.”

  “Ivan—” Adriana started.

  He waved her quiet again. He kept his eyes on me.

  “I found a spool of wire in the back of the hall closet. That’s what gave me the idea. When everyone was asleep, I sneaked out and strung the wire between the trees.”

  Ivan sighed. “I knew Sean would go first. He always had to go first. He had to be the first at everything.”

  He shook his head sadly. “If only I’d guessed the truth about him when I met him. But he seemed like such a great guy. Everyone liked him. I—I even wanted to be like him when I first met him. I didn’t know what he was really like—until it was too late.”

  “So you decided to kill him?” I asked.

  “No. No way!” Ivan insisted. “The silver wire—it was real low to the ground. It was just ankle high. I only wanted to knock him down. Maybe hurt him a little.”

  Ivan let out a low, pained cry. “I know I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was out of my head. Crazed. So frightened that Sean really would turn me in. He really would ruin my life.”

  Ivan climbed to his feet and walked to the window. He leaned on the sill and peered out into the cold, blue night.

  “I only wanted to hurt him,” he continued. “You know. Scare him. I didn’t want to kill him. I don’t know what happened. I guess the snow shifted. The wind blew the snow away during the night. So the wire was much higher.”

  Ivan uttered another cry. “I saw the wire. I saw that it had moved. I saw it—too late. And then I saw Sean’s head—and all the blood …” His voice trailed off. He swallowed hard.

  Adriana jumped up. Her eyes were red. Her features twisted in disgust.

  “I’m calling the police,” Ivan said, starting across the room to my phone on the desk.

  “No—” Adriana protested. She moved to block his way. “Ivan, listen to me—”

  “I can’t stand the guilt anymore,” he said to me. “I can’t let you think you did it, Martha. I’m calling the police. I should have done it months ago.”

  He picked up the phone.

  Adriana grabbed it out of his hand. “You idiot!” she screamed. “You stupid idiot!”

  Ivan grabbed for the phone. She swiped it out of his reach.

  “Give it to me!” Ivan demanded.

  “You know you didn’t do it!” Adriana shrieked at her brother. “Idiot! You know you didn’t kill Sean!”

  She pointed at me, her entire body trembling with rage. “Martha killed him! You know Martha killed him! She did it! She did!”

  chapter 24

  Her words cut through my heart, stabbed me like a knife.

  Why was Adriana accusing me like that?

  Did she know the truth? Did she know for sure that I was the murderer?

  If so, why was Ivan confessing? Why was Ivan claiming that he did it?

  With a furious groan, he grabbed the phone and struggled to wrestle it from her hand.

  She spun around, desperate to hold on to it.

  “Why are you doing this?” she shrieked at her brother. “Why are you ruining it?”

  Ruining it?

  What did she mean? I wondered, watching helplessly as they fought. What was she talking about?

  “Why are you ruining it?” Adriana cried. “Why are you ruining everything? I worked so hard—and you’re going to ruin it!”

  She gasped.

  She turned to me, her mouth open, her eyes wide.

  Her face reddened.

  She said too much, I realized. She blurted out more than she meant to.

  Before I could react, Ivan grabbed his sister by the shoulders. The phone fell from her hand and clattered to the floor.

  “What do you mean?” he demanded. “Explain yourself.”

  “Ivan, no—!” Adriana protested.

  He forced her back against the wall, keeping her arms pinned down at her sides. “Explain. Explain.”

  For a moment Adriana struggled to free herself. Then I saw the life fade from her eyes. Saw the fight go out of her.

  She made no further attempt to get away.

  “Ivan, don’t ruin it,” Adriana pleaded. But I could tell she had given up. Her voice came out in a hoarse whisper, so low I could barely hear her. “Don’t ruin it. Don’t ruin it,” Adriana chanted weakly.

  She opened her mouth in a furious cry. “I worked so hard!” she moaned. “And you ruined it. You both ruined it.”

  “What do you mean?” Ivan demanded, holding her tightly against the wall. “Are you saying that I didn’t kill Sean?”

  She shook her head sadly. When she raised her eyes to me, I saw cold fury in them. “Sean wasn’t supposed to die!” she cried. “It wasn’t supposed to be Sean!”

  She pointed at me with a trembling finger. “It was supposed to be you, Martha! Why did you ruin everything? You were supposed to die!”

  chapter 25

  “Adriana—what are you saying?” I cried in shock.

  She glared at me, her dark eyes narrowed in fury. She kept pointing, waving her finger at me, as if accusing me, accusing me of a crime.

  “Why did you take so long with your ski straps?” she demanded, her voice hoarse now, and ugly. Menacing. “Why did you take so long, Martha?”

  “I—I—” I stared back at her open-mouthed. What did she expect me to say?

  “You were supposed to go first,” she repeated, still pointing, her eyes wild now, wild with fury, brimming with angry tears. “I told you to ski first. Because the wire was ready for you.”

  “Huh?” I gasped, not believing what she was saying.

  “I raised the wire.” Adriana sneered. “I saw it strung across the slope. I waited till everyone was asleep. Then I went out and raised it. For you, Martha. For you!”

  She finally lowered her hand. She hugged herself. “Not Sean. Not Sean. Not Sean,” she chanted, shaking her head, her dark hair swaying with her.

  Ivan took a step back, his eyes dazed. His hands were balled into tight fists, his arms rigid, tense at his sides. “All this time,” he murmured weakly, his voice trembling. “All this time I thought I was the murderer. All these months I thought I killed Sean.”

  I suddenly felt dizzy. Faint. As if Adriana’s cruel words had invaded my head. I could almost feel them spinning around in there. I rubbed my temples, trying to force away the dizziness.

  “Why—?” I finally managed to choke out. “I don’t understand, Adriana. I am your friend. Why? Why did you want to kill me?”

  Her dark eyes flared. “Because of Sean!”

  “Huh? Sean? What about Sean?” I demanded, completely confused.

  “I saw Sean first!” Adriana screamed, raising both fists in rage. “Ivan brought him over to the house. I saw him first! Sean and I—there was something special between us. I—I could feel it.”

  “But, Adriana—” I started.

  “Sean didn’t know it,” she continued, ignoring me. “I don’t think he knew it. But I felt it. A special closeness.”

  An ugly sneer crossed her face. “He wasn’t really interested in Laura. She thought he was. Laura always thinks every boy she meets is crazy about her. But Sean wasn’t interested in her. He knew he belonged with me!”

  Adriana screamed these last words at the top of her lungs.

  I staggered back a step.

  She’s crazy, I realized.

  Poor Adriana. She’s really lost her mind. She isn’t making any sense at all.

  She had been so stressed out recently. Unable to sleep. Unable to concentrate in school.

  But I had no idea. No idea …

  “Don’t stare at me like that!” she shrieked. “I’ll scratch your eyes out, Martha. I really will.”

  Ivan stepped forward. I saw his muscles tense. He was preparing to hold his sister back.

  “I—I don’t understand,” I confessed. “What did I do, Adriana? What did I do to get you so upset?”

  “I saw
you kissing Sean!” she shrieked. Her chest heaved up and down. She gasped in breath after breath.

  “No—!” I cried. “You didn’t think—”

  “I saw you in the back room of the cabin, Martha. I saw you kissing Sean. And something—something snapped.”

  She shook her head, her expression bitter. “That’s when I knew I had to kill you. You had Aaron. You had a nice family. Parents who weren’t at each other’s throats every minute.

  “You—you had everything, Martha!” Adriana screamed. “Why did you need Sean too? Why couldn’t you leave something for me?”

  So that’s what it was all about, I realized finally.

  It was all a big mistake from beginning to end.

  “I didn’t want Sean to kiss me!” I told Adriana. “He dragged me into the back room because he said he wanted to talk. And then he forced me to kiss him. I pushed him away, Adriana. I wasn’t interested in him. I pushed him away and—”

  “You pretended you were angry!” Adriana accused.

  “No—!”

  A bitter smile crossed Adriana’s face. “I saw you, Martha. I saw you pretend to be angry. You pretended to have a fight so that Aaron wouldn’t get angry. But you wanted both boys! You had to have both of them!”

  “That’s not true!” I screamed. “You’re wrong! You were wrong then—and you’re wrong now!”

  I don’t think she heard me. She stared at me with that strange, ugly smile. A smile that wasn’t a smile at all.

  “The wrong person died,” she uttered, lowering her eyes. “Because of you, the wrong person died. I wanted to yell out when he went down the slope. I wanted to stop him. But I was too late. Sean was gone. The only boy I ever cared about. Gone. Because of you.”

  “Adriana—” Ivan reached out to her. But she stepped away.

  “When you lost your memory,” she continued, raising her eyes to me. “When you lost your memory, I knew it was my chance to cover up my crime.”

  I gasped. “What do you mean?”

  “I bought some wire and hid it in the bottom of your bag,” Adriana confessed. “Then, after my visits to the doctor, I hypnotized you.”

  “Huh? You what?” I shrieked, raising my hands to the sides of my face, gaping at her in disbelief.

  I saw Ivan gasp too.