Amplify

  She nods, a tear slipping down her cheek and it breaks my heart. I want to kill that Ian motherfucker, but in this moment I want to bring her pleasure and happy memories more than anything.

  “Aww, Luce.”

  She sniffles and I kiss her neck. Her breath hitches and she starts to move.

  “Damn,” I groan as Jesse grunts.

  “Move with me,” she says through her panting so we do.

  I’m not into dudes, but feeling Jesse’s cock moving inside Lucy adds an extra edge to everything, more friction, and my fingers tighten on Lucy’s hips. Jesse works Lucy’s tits and clit while I kiss and suck at her neck and ear.

  “Faster,” she pants and we get a good rhythm going, my balls tapping against where Jesse’s fucking her and he groans.

  “Fuck,” he moans out. “Keep doing that, dude.”

  I growl. “Trust me, it’s my pleasure.”

  His cock moving against my balls when they hit just the right spot has me going through baseball stats in my head. It feels too good. Way too fucking good for me to be able to hold off much longer.

  I grunt when Lucy pushes back hard.

  “Christ. Do that again and I’m gonna come,” I warn.

  “I’m so close,” she sighs. I look to Jesse who gives me the look that says ‘go’. She’s ready.

  We both move now, plunging in and out of her body. I groan loud when I feel her tighten, ready to come.

  “There you go, baby,” Jesse grunts. “Come for us, Lucy. Give us your pleasure.”

  With that, she throws her head back, her hips moving against ours, taking us faster and deeper, harder, and then she loses it. Her mouth opens on a silent scream and I slip my hand in front of her mouth. She bites down and I grunt.

  “Shit, shit, shiiiiiit,” I whisper as I start to come. My breath backs up in my lungs and I hear Jesse let out his signature, “Fuuuuck.” Then I feel him thrust up harder, holding Lucy’s hips just below my hand. I bite Lucy’s shoulder, giving Jesse a wink, and he smirks. He reaches down and circles her clit again and her head tips back, her hair touching the dimples above her ass. Sexy as fuck. A couple more shots of cum pulse from my cock when she clenches and comes a second time.

  “Hell fucking yeah,” I moan. “Feels so fucking good when you come, Lucy.”

  Jesse grunts in agreement—I hear knocking just as I stop coming.

  I bolt upright in bed.

  “Yeah,” I shout.

  “Time to go down,” Ethan tells me.

  “Be there in a few.”

  He raps his knuckles against the door one more time signaling he’s done.

  Shit if I didn’t just come in my sleep. That was one crazy fucking dream, I think as I head to the bathroom for a shower. I should have known it wasn’t real when her stomach was flat, but I’m a huge fan of denial. God knows I’ve been in denial about Tera for the last ten years—but that’s another story and one I am not thinking about today.

  Hell, it’s Christmas Eve and I’m going to enjoy it.

  When I get downstairs I head immediately to the kitchen. It smells like heaven in there and I’m hungry as hell. Seems I’m not the only one with this idea. I walk in and see Ethan, Kennedy, Trace, Ben, Jace, Meggie, and Jesse standing around eating the snacks that Mrs. Martinez, no doubt, set out. She’s a stickler, that Mrs. Martinez. She only gives us so much and picks what she gives us before dinner. Like we can’t eat our body weight in turkey.

  “Dude,” I tell Jesse as I slap a hand to his shoulder walking by to the refrigerator.

  “What’s up?” he asks around a chip scooped full of guacamole dip.

  I grab a soda from the refrigerator then close the door, pausing with my hand on the handle.

  He lifts a brow and I smirk.

  “I had a wet dream about your wife.”

  “What the fuck, dude?” he scolds through a laugh.

  “Who hasn’t?” Ethan asks.

  “What the fuck?” Jesse asks again.

  “Not me,” Jace says, holding his hands up.

  “Unless you count the ones from high school,” I add.

  “Those don’t count,” Jace retorts.

  I snort then realize Meggie didn’t deny it. My mouth hanging open a little as I make my way over to her, the guys zeroing in on my gaze.

  “Megs.”

  “Xan.”

  “You didn’t deny it.”

  She shrugs then finishes chewing. “What’s to deny?”

  “Seriously? You’ve had a wet dream about Lucy?”

  Kennedy laughs and Trace whistles.

  “I’m not going to deny it. I’ve had more than one dream of a threesome with Lucy and Jesse. I’m proud of that shit,” she says, tilting her chin up.

  I nod, relating to her in a way she doesn’t realize. “Fuck yeah,” I say and fist bump her.

  Ben looks at Jesse who just shrugs it off. I snort.

  “Never know,” Ben begins around a chip, “Lucy just might go for that. I mean it’s Meggie.”

  Jesse snorts. “Not likely. Can you imagine her letting another woman touch me?”

  “Dude,” I say with raised brows. He was going to let me touch her so why wouldn’t she let Meggie touch him?

  “Not touching that one,” Kennedy chimes in, knowing exactly what we’re talking about without saying a word. They know our sexual preferences and that, occasionally, Jesse and I have shared women.

  “Speak of the devil,” Ethan murmurs when Lucy walks in. I swear her belly grew even more overnight but hell if I’m mentioning that. I don’t have a death wish. She’s already self-conscious about it.

  “Hi baby,” Jesse greets her with a hug and a kiss and I think of kissing her neck, thrusting into her from behind while she tugged my hair and clenched around my cock.

  Shit. Shit, shit, shit. This is not good.

  “Luce,” Jace smirks.

  “Jace,” she replies.

  “Xander had a wet dream about you.”

  “Yeah?” she asks, her face lighting up. “Was it a really good one?”

  “Oh yeah,” I say, cracking open my soda taking a long drink. “So good. The things you did...”I trail off and Jesse growls. I smirk behind my soda can as I take another drink.

  “Yeah?” she sounds excited and... pleased.

  “Oh yeah. That dream’s gonna stick with me for a long, long time,” I tell Lucy with a wink.

  “What dream?” Sera asks as she walks in.

  “Xander had a wet dream about Lucy,” Kennedy tells her.

  “Oooh. Was it hot?” Sera asks.

  “Darlin’, it was a scorcher.”

  “Massive wet dream, huh?” she asks.

  “Sheet changer.”

  “Dude,” Meggie says and fist bumps me as Jesse growls again.

  I snort and lift my brows. He smirks.

  “I particularly liked it when Lucy tugged at my hair when she came.”

  “Hell yeah,” Ethan exclaims.

  Lucy blushes prettily and I send her a wink.

  “You suck, dude,” Jesse tells me.

  “Tsk, tsk. I don’t but Lucy does and, shit, does she do it well,” I reply with a grin.

  “Hell,” Jesse says and pulls Lucy close. Lucy grins and wiggles her eyebrows at me. Just like that I’m sporting wood again. Shit. She’s gonna do me in.

  “New topic, please,” Mrs. Martinez scolds.

  I look over at her sheepishly. “Sorry, Mrs. M.”

  “Hmm,” she says helping Misty with something on the stove.

  My phone signals a text message. I pull it out of my pocket and as I read it, I have trouble breathing. Even though I know she sends messages every holiday and on my birthday, it still knocks me off balance.

  Tera: Merry Christmas, Xan xoxo

  Shit.

  “You alright?” Sera asks next to me.

  I hesitate. Am I? “Yeah, I’m good.” And I am, because I have to be. I know I could find her if I tried, but I’m done chasing her. She’ll come to m
e when she’s ready. She told me that once and I’m holding her to it. I just don’t know how much longer I can wait for something that may never happen.

  After supper we all gathered in the media room to watch It’s a Wonderful Life. Jace wanted to watch A Christmas Story but the rest of us vetoed that suggestion. Lame, Jace. Lame.

  Speaking of Jace, he’s asleep right now on the sofa and I’m thinking of fucking with him. I lean over to Lucy.

  “What should I do to him? Stick his fingers in warm water so he can relive his third grade glory days?” I ask her and she bursts out laughing. She’s laughing so hard tears are streaming down her face and she’s clutching her sides.

  “Xander,” she gasps through breaths, “only you.”

  I nod, proud.

  “See that look there, Lucy?” Jesse tells her. “He’s fucking proud of that shit.”

  “Damn straight. There’ll never be another me.”

  “Thank Christ,” Kennedy murmurs and I flip him off.

  “You’re all just jealous of my amazing-ness.”

  “That’s not even a word,” Ethan tells me.

  “Fuck off. It’s my word. I just made it. I declare it a word and that’s that.”

  “Because good ole Webster’s just going to add your word to the dictionary because you declare it.” Kennedy shakes his head.

  “Hell yeah. I’m Xander Mackenzie. That says enough right there.”

  “It sure does,” Kennedy replies with sarcasm. I flip him off again.

  “It’s time to wake up Jace. How should we do this?” I tap a finger to my lips, contemplating when Sera stands up and moves directly next to Jace, pulling me next to her. She’s got an evil grin on her face.

  “I’m liking this side of you, Serafina baby.”

  She smirks and winks at me. “Ready, Xan?”

  I nod, having no clue what she’s got planned but more than willing to play the game. She leans forward, her mouth hovering over Jace’s ear, then bursts out into an Evanescence song and I sing the dude parts:

  Wake me up inside

  (I can't wake up)

  Wake me up inside

  (Save me)

  Call my name and save me from the dark

  (Wake me up)

  Bid my blood to run

  (I can't wake up)

  Before I come undone

  (Save me)

  Save me from the nothing I've become

  I snicker when Jace jumps straight up and I’m a little in awe of Sera’s pipes. Damn, the woman can sing.

  “Fuckers,” Jace tells us when we stop singing and everyone’s laughing.

  “Hey,” Sera says, “be grateful for my intervention. Xander was going to dip your fingers into warm water.” She presses her lips together, fighting a laugh. Jace gives her a bland look.

  “Go on, you know you want to go there,” Jace invites with a wave of his hand.

  “Oh, it wasn’t me. It was Xander who said he wanted you to live your third grade glory days.”

  “Ha ha motherfucker,” he tells me and flips me off. I can’t help but laugh. I love that he can take a joke. He’s a good shit.

  “Since Lucy declared tomorrow our Help The Homeless day, we need to do presents tonight,” I declare.

  Lucy nods. “Helping feed the hungry tomorrow is the least we can do considering we all just ate more than an army.”

  “True that,” Ethan agrees.

  “Do-gooder.”He shrugs and I send him a look of disgust. I want to sit around and watch movies but I suppose I’ll have enough of those days until we go back on tour. I sigh, resigned. It’s a good thing we’re going to do, I know it, and sometimes throwing money at a situation isn’t always enough.

  “Alright, Xander, you win. Presents it is,” Lucy tells me with a pat on my back.

  My grin is huge, I know it. It’s my victory grin.

  We gather around the tree, all of us are here. Mama and daddy Russo, Lucy, Joey and his date, Sera, Cage, Jesse, Ethan, Kennedy, Ben, Jace, Trace, Meggie, Misty, Damian, Spenser, Carmen, Simone, Celeste, Janalee and Jeni Kingston. Mr. and Mrs. Martinez went to the guesthouse with their family after dinner.

  We all tear into the gifts and when we’re done, Mama Russo goes around cleaning up the discarded wrapping paper. Everyone decided I was the bow-cushion and stuck all their bows in my hair and over my body.

  “Hell yeah,” I exclaim when Lucy adds another bow. “I’m quite the package, huh, Luce?”

  She winks. “That you are.” She puts the bow right over my cock and my eyebrows go up.

  “Feisty,” I grab her around the waist and dip her backwards, careful of the babies, then I kiss her on the forehead.

  Lucy laughs and Jesse just rolls his eyes.

  We start singing with the Christmas music that Mama Russo insisted be playing while we gathered around the tree and I can’t remember ever having a Christmas like this one. Ever. What with my parents divorcing when I was in grade school, remarrying umpteen times, and me having to go from one house to the other whenever they saw fit—yeah, my Christmases were pretty lacking in holiday spirit and love. This year, though, this house has become a home. It’s filled with love and laughter and I’m starting to sound like a chick. Shit. But I’m happy. For the first time in a long time I’m almost completely happy. Only one thing would make me completely happy and I just don’t see Tera making that happen anytime soon.

  Bruce Springsteen’s Santa Claus Is Coming To Town comes on and I burst into song.

  You better watch out

  You better not cry

  You better not pout I’m telling you why

  Santa Clause is coming to town

  Santa Clause is coming to town

  Santa Clause is coming to town

  I work my way around the room, singing to everyone, dry humping Ben’s leg again and dodging his fist just in time. I pull Mama Russo up from her chair and start dancing some 50s dance with her. I think it’s the bop, maybe? Hell, I don’t know the names, and I think we’re actually just making moves up as we go along. I twirl her out and pull her back into me then kiss her on the cheek and Anthony snorts.

  We keep dancing when the music slows down a little to Jingle Bell Rock by who I know is the original artist. Hell, no one covers this song better than the original.

  “What’s this dude’s name?” I ask no one in particular.

  “Bobby Helms,” Kennedy tells me. Of course, genius man knows the answer to that. He’s up and dancing with Jana, Lucy’s dancing with Jesse, Sera’s dancing with Cage, and Anthony is up dancing with Jeni.

  I lean in close to mama. “I think we’re the best.”

  “Of course we are,” she agrees with a toss of her hair. The woman is a beauty. She may be in her 50s but she looks like she’s in her 30s and that’s no bullshit. With her brown hair and what look to be violet eyes, flawless skin, and curves that bring her husband to his knees. Who can blame the guy? She’s not a thin lady, but she’s gorgeous and she’s proud of what she’s got going on. That’s sexy as hell. Size doesn’t matter. It’s all in the way you “wear” and own it.

  When My Chemical Romance starts singing All I Want For Christmas I look at Trace.

  “Dude, did you make this list?”

  He nods with a grin. He can finally grin now that Joey left with his date. Hell, Trace can breathe now that Joey’s no longer up his ass. Fuck if that kid doesn’t fangirl all over the poor guy. But Trace handles it well. The guy’s a class act.

  Mama steps back and starts dancing with Anthony when he cuts in, Jeni goes over to Jesse and I pull Lucy in for a quick spin. As if the cosmic universe knows we’re dancing together, Elvis starts singing Blue Christmas.

  Everyone stops, looks at us, Lucy and I toss our hair(well, I would if my hair was that long), and we own this shit. They start laughing and we both give them the finger.

  “Don’t fuck with Elvis. You’re making a huge mistake,” I tell them and Lucy nods her agreement.

  “He’s alive a
nd when we find him, you’re all going to eat your words,” she tells them with a sneer.

  Another Elvis song comes on and I see Trace over by the iPod. The bluesy beat and sound of the King singing Merry Christmas Baby has me pulling Lucy close and we start to grind. Everyone else has already taken their seats so it’s just us. I smirk and Lucy winks. Hell yeah, we’re giving them a show.

  Then they all start catcalling and whistling. When I rest my arms around her tight and lean forward so she leans back, she lifts her arms over her head and shakes her body side to side slowly as she reaches back.

  She shimmies herself back upright then wraps her arms around my neck as best as she can being so short and we do the grinding like they did in Dirty Dancing. I can’t help it, I get hard. It reminds me of the dream. Lucy doesn’t react to my erection, she just keeps right on going. Man, I need to fuck and soon. I’ll have to give someone a call when this breaks for the night—maybe sooner.

  When the song ends, Lucy hugs me tight. I hug her back.

  “Merry Christmas, Luce my goose.”

  “Merry Christmas, Xan my man.”

  She heads back to Jesse and I head for the rum.

  The chick kneeling at my feet is giving me a blow job of epic proportions. It’s no comparison to Lucy in the dream—how fucked is that? And how fucked is it that I’m thinking of Lucy while I’m getting head?

  I thread my fingers through her hair, thrusting harder into her mouth and that’s when she appears in my mind. Just like she always does. Tera.

  I close my eyes and pump harder into the wetness of her mouth as she sucks me harder, her fingertips whispering over my balls before she cups them in her hand and gently rolls them.

  “Shit.”

  “Mmm,” she hums.

  “Tug ‘em gently,” I tell her when she continues to play with my balls. She does as I ask and I’m close to blowing.

  “I’m gonna come so if you don’t want me to shoot in your mouth, you better stop,” I warn, but she keeps on going. When she tugs my balls again, I let go and grunt out my release.

  “Shit.” God damn I needed this but it’s not enough. I need to fuck. I pull her up, not looking at her face, pretending she’s Tera which is a total asshole move but I can’t help it. She’s the one I want and the one I can’t have.