Love Letters

  “Don’t you think the weather is beautiful?” Josh said, handing Chloe her sandwich.

  “It’s just right, not too cold. I love days like these.”

  They ate in silence listening to the waves. Chloe was debating how she would open the subject of Josh’s letter. As she watched Josh, she knew he was thinking the same thing. Yet doing so would force her to make a decision she wasn’t prepared for. She knew she would have to talk to him sooner or later but couldn’t find the courage to conquer her fear.

  “So, what’s this big news of yours?” Josh asked with a smile that revealed a sexy dimple.

  Chloe showed him Darlene’s business card and told him what she had said.

  “I agree with her,” Josh said, taking a sip of his lemonade. “I think you should go for it. You have nothing to lose.”

  “It’s ironic because I had been thinking about it a few minutes before she mentioned it.”

  “It’s probably meant to be then.” He paused. “What does Richard think?”

  Chloe fixed her eyes on the ocean. “I haven’t told him yet.”

  Josh leaned closer to Chloe. “Is everything all right?”

  Chloe paused to catch her breath. “Yes, I mean no… I don’t know. These sandwiches are good.”

  The wind was blowing Josh’s hair as he faced her and he was giving her that dreamy look again, the one she had fantasized about when she first met him. “Never mind that, tell me what’s wrong?”

  She swallowed hard and told Josh everything, about how Richard had been treating her and what Nicole and her mother said. “The last time we spoke was in Yosemite.”

  Josh nodded sympathetically.

  Chloe whispered, “Richard doesn’t take my interests seriously. He has never even tried to enter my world.”

  Josh patted her on the back.

  “I’m sorry for getting carried away,” Chloe said, misty-eyed. “Life isn’t fair sometimes. Look at my mother. She’s still deeply in love after forty years but circumstances have kept them apart, and here is Richard too selfish to offer any real love. Tell me there’s an explanation for that!”

  Josh drew closer and rubbed a thumb across Chloe’s lips, then slowly leaned in to kiss her. Chloe closed her eyes and felt the softness of his lips. Her body couldn’t move as she relished in the gentleness of his kiss. She was oblivious to her surroundings and could feel nothing else but his lips against hers. She opened her eyes as soon as he let go.

  “Josh, about your letter…”

  “I’m sorry,” Josh said, shaking. “I mean, I’m not sorry I kissed you. And I’m not sorry I wrote the letter, but I am sorry if you feel that I’m pressuring you.”

  Chloe touched her lips. He was a true gentleman who would never take advantage of her. “No, don’t be.”

  Josh stared at her and lowered his head to kiss her again. She held his cheek and kissed him longer this time. I can’t believe what I’m doing. If this is wrong, how can it feel so right? She had to stop rationalizing. She couldn’t deny her feelings anymore. She loved Josh and this was real. We belong together.

  “Yes, we do,” Josh said, as though reading her mind.

  “Huh?”

  “You said we belong together.”

  “Can you read my mind now?”

  “Silly, you kept saying it,” Josh said, caressing her cheek and kissing her again. “Seriously, we do belong together. From the minute I saw you again that day when you bumped my car, I knew you were the only one for me, Chloe.”

  Chloe’s hair stood on end, remembering that day with Josh. “I have to admit, I felt the same way.”

  “I love you, Chloe. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I have loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you,” Josh said, embracing her tight.

  “I love you too,” Chloe whispered.

  They stood in silence, wrapped in each other’s arms, watching the waves.

  The tide was starting to rise and the weather was now foggy. Josh looked at his watch. “I hate to leave, but I have to get back to the shop.”

  Chloe wiped the sand away from her pants. “Me too.”

  After clearing the blanket and picking up their trash, Josh dropped Chloe at the shop. She pulled him towards her and kissed him gently on the lips. He whispered “I love you” again and she told him the same. She was about to leave when he grabbed her and pulled her toward him.

  “Will you marry me, Chloe?”

  Chapter Twelve

  Chloe lay down on her bed in her pajamas hugging her teddy bear with the lights off. Richard had left two messages apologizing again for his behavior in Yosemite, but she had refused to talk to him. She couldn’t get over the afternoon she’d spent with Josh by the beach. She fingered her lips where he had kissed her. She still felt the warmth of his embrace and the softness of his lips – the genuine love as he stroked her cheek.

  From day one, she knew that Josh and she were a match. She always told herself that she wanted to grow old with him. Josh understood her. They were on the same wavelength, unlike Richard who was in a different world.

  She rolled over and sighed. Now that Josh had asked her to marry her, what should she do? With the wedding a month and a half away, she knew she had to decide. Was she going to marry Josh or Richard? She held her teddy bear closer as Greta sat and licked her nose. She wished life was simpler – that she didn’t have to choose between two men. She turned off the light and kissed Greta goodnight. I need to see Mom tomorrow – to find out why she never married Ignacio. Chloe knew that there was more her mom wasn’t telling her.

  She had almost fallen asleep when she heard a tap on her window. Greta barked as Chloe pushed the comforter out of her way. Just as she pulled the curtain to the side she heard another tap. She thought that a branch had fallen on her roof, but the night was clear with no breeze. She covered her mouth when she saw a man standing on the tree branch outside her window. Josh.

  She grabbed her flashlight and opened the window. “Josh…what are you doing here?”

  The hood of Josh’s blue jacket covered his head. He was wearing gray sweatpants and rubber shoes. “Hello, princess…I’m here to rescue you.”

  Chloe’s face flushed with warmth. Josh knew her too well. “You could have used the front door.”

  “I know, but that wouldn’t be romantic,” Josh said, putting one foot inside the windowsill. “Besides, after today, I couldn’t stop thinking about you – about us.”

  Chloe held his hand as he came in and kissed him on the lips. She too couldn’t get over their afternoon by the beach. “So what’s the surprise?”

  He pulled his backpack inside and opened it to remove the telescope. “I thought that a fine night like this would be ideal to watch the stars.”

  “Wow, this is amazing,” Chloe said, turning on the lights to look at the Celestron 21045 Powerseeker Refractor Telescope. “Thank you, Josh.” Her thoughts shifted to her dad who had bought her a telescope when she was a child. Every night before she went to sleep, she and her father would look at the stars together. He had taught her about all the planets in the solar system and showed her how to look for the Big Dipper. It was their father and daughter time. He also bought her glow-in-the-dark stars to stick on the ceiling so she wouldn’t be scared sleeping alone.

  She saw Josh looking at her moist eyes. “Is everything all right?”

  She looked away and nodded. “Dad gave me a telescope, too. Stargazing was our favorite thing to do together.”

  Josh squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry, Chloe. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

  “No worries, Josh.” Chloe shook her head then touched his cheek. “I would love to look at the stars with you.”

  Greta barked in delight as if to remind Chloe that she too wanted to look at stars.

  They both laughed.

  Chloe helped Josh assemble the telescope as he positioned it towards the sky. He peered into the lens and gave out a big squeal. “This is awesome.”

  “Let
me see,” Chloe said, clinging to Josh’s arm.

  Josh moved beside her as she peered into the lens. Chloe felt her world stop. The stars were breathtaking. She remembered how magical it was for her as a child, her father sitting patiently beside her as she got lost gazing at the stars. She could spend hours staring at the night sky. The only interruption would be her mother telling her to go to bed. The night was more enchanting with the man she loved by her side. She had never told Josh about this experience yet it seemed that Josh knew everything about her. He was connected to her, heart and soul.

  She could feel him breathing beside her as she continued to gaze at the stars. “Josh, what I’m seeing is beyond words.”

  He moved behind her and put his arms around her waist then kissed her neck. “What I feel for you, Chloe, is also beyond words.”

  She turned around and held her breath as he gazed down at her. She closed her eyes and felt his warm lips against hers. At that moment, she imagined herself lying down in the clouds and staring up at the stars as she kissed Josh. She didn’t want to let him go, but finally he pulled away. “I have something else for you.”

  “Another surprise?” She gasped. “You’re spoiling me.”

  Josh chuckled then pulled out an eight-by-ten wooden frame and handed it to Chloe.

  She opened her mouth in awe then looked back at Josh with her eyes all misty. He had named a star for her and given her the star certificate. “You named a star after me?”

  He nodded. “Here’s the map of constellations and the mythological explanation of your star.”

  She squealed in delight as she looked at the certificate. “I never knew you could name a star. Chloe – Verdant and Blooming – a woman you will never forget.”

  “I knew you’d like it.” He winked.

  “Are you kidding…I love it,” she said, clinging to the frame. “Thank you.” Greta ran around the room barking and they both laughed.

  “Now, can you show me the Big Dipper?” Josh asked, embracing her around the waist.

  Chloe moved the telescope to the left to search for the Big Dipper. She remembered her father telling her to look for the shape of the soup ladle and eventually found it. “Here you go.”

  Josh peered into the sky as she held his hand and watched him. He definitely knew the way to her heart. Simple things and unique gifts meant the most to her. She would cherish this gift forever.

  After looking at the stars for more than an hour, they took a break and sat down on Chloe’s bed, Chloe by the headboard and Josh seated across from her.

  “Thanks again, Josh, for the gifts. They’re precious,” Chloe said, leaning her head against her pillow.

  “You’re precious.”

  Chloe looked down, then back at Josh as he held her hand tight. “I don’t know how to say this… but it’s like you know me so well and I don’t know how you –”

  “Instinct,” he said, eyeing her.

  She felt her face flush.

  “Chloe, I never told you this but back in high school in Oregon, I always felt the odd one out – the outcast.”

  Chloe furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

  “You know…different. I could never really blend in with the crowd.”

  Chloe folded her arms across her chest. “Really? But in school all the girls had a crush on you and Phil. How can that be?”

  “Half Moon Bay is a small town. It’s different when you’re in high school – a bigger school.” Chloe nodded for him to continue. “Lots of the kids had their sporty cars while I walked to school. I wasn’t interested in school sports. I looked forward to snowboarding during the winter and surfing in Hawaii during the summer. So while everybody played football, water polo, baseball and swimming they thought I was a nerd. But I didn’t fit in with the nerds either, because all they did was study.”

  “You never told me this, Josh,” Chloe said squeezing his hand.

  He shrugged. “I guess everybody enjoyed high school, while I was hoping those four years would end.”

  “Really? How about Phil?”

  He grinned. “Phil seemed to blend in with the ‘in crowd’. You know Phil. He’s sociable and friendly.”

  “I’m so sorry, Josh,” Chloe said, moving towards him to lean her head on his shoulder. “I never knew how difficult it was for you.”

  “It’s cool,” Josh said, caressing her cheek. “My mom said that I needed to do something that would keep me occupied. I worked as a waiter and made good tips. When I was older, I worked as a bartender and it helped me pay for my college.”

  “That’s something to be proud of.”

  “I guess I couldn’t relate with the shallowness and the phoniness of some people. I didn’t see myself hanging out with a big group and being obnoxious. I had a few close friends like me who I knew I could count on.”

  “Well, isn’t that what matters?” Chloe said, resting her hand on his chest. “I mean, look at me and Nicole. She’s basically the only good friend I have.”

  Josh kissed her forehead. “I suppose you’re right…but back in high school I sometimes thought I was a los—”

  “You’re no loser, Josh,” Chloe said, facing him. “You’re a normal, intuitive, kind and thoughtful person. You also have your own business and not everybody could do that.”

  Josh put his arm around Chloe. “Thanks…I feel better already.”

  “I think most women look for a man like that.”

  Josh looked down at Chloe’s clasped hands and back at Chloe. “Even the girls at school were quite materialistic and shallow, unlike you. You’re special, Chloe. I’ve never met anyone like you.”

  He pulled her closer to the window where they gazed at the stars. The gentle breeze blew the curtain. The light of the moon allowed her to see him more clearly now – his soft skin and supple lips. Neither of them spoke as he held her hand and kissed it. He stroked her cheek gently then leaned in to kiss her. She closed her eyes and felt the softness of his lips touch hers as he pulled her closer. Her heart beat harder as she embraced him. He kissed her neck, moving slowly to her ears where he whispered, “I love you, Chloe.”

  He caressed her cheek and kissed her longer this time. Before he let go he told her, “You’ll always be my princess and I promise to take care of you.” When she opened her eyes she could see the sincerity in his eyes. They stared at each other in silence. He whispered again, “Nobody belongs in my heart but you. I love you, Chloe Rogers. Marry me and I promise I will honor and love you as my wife. We will have wonderful kids – a mini Josh and Chloe. We’ll fulfill our dreams together. And when we’re old and gray, you’ll still be my beautiful princess and I will always take care of you. This is my commitment to you, Chloe.”

  Chloe was now hyperventilating as he embraced her. Greta barked twice to remind Josh that she was there. “And to you, Greta, I will find you a husband and we’ll name him Gyro. Then you’ll have a mini Greta and Gyro.”

  When Greta jumped up and licked Josh’s face, Chloe laughed. Josh picked up his backpack off the bed and held Chloe tight one last time before rising. “I had a wonderful time tonight.”

  Chloe leaned her head against his shoulder and embraced him tight. “Thank you for tonight, Josh. It meant a lot to me.”

  Josh kissed her forehead then stood and Chloe followed suit. “I know your life has been complicated since I showed up in Half Moon Bay, but I believe we are destined to be together, Chloe.”

  She nodded as he kissed her lips one last time.

  “Now, my princess, I will take your offer of the front door.”

  Chloe chuckled and walked him downstairs. “Goodnight, Josh.”

  “Sweet dreams,” he said, after leaving her breathless with a goodbye kiss.

  She walked back upstairs and sat down by the telescope looking at the stars in the sky. Spending tonight with Josh made her feel like she was walking on clouds. She wished she was a star that could hide behind the clouds and only come out on beautiful nights like tonight. Bu
t her life was more complicated than that. Now she had to decide: follow her heart or her head?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chloe went downstairs with Greta close at her heels, and grabbed her purse and her keys. “C’mon, Greta. You want to go for a ride with me?” That’s all it took. Greta dashed out the door, and when Chloe opened the passenger door, Greta jumped in.

  As Chloe was backing up from the driveway, she noticed that the heat had subsided and there was a light breeze. She had asked Millie if she could go home at two o’clock and she had agreed. Chloe had a lot going on in her mind. A drive to San Rafael was a spur of the moment decision but she needed to get away.

  Chloe rubbed her neck to ease the tension. She hadn’t driven to San Rafael for a long time, but the hour drive gave her time to think about Josh and Richard. Greta was jumping around in the car. She enjoyed watching the cars on the road and barked when she saw other dogs inside cars. Chloe turned on the radio and heard a love song. As she sang to the lyrics, Josh came to mind. Her eyes filled with tears thinking of him.

  She’d thought of nothing except Josh since their day surfing and needed to know if it was because things between she and Richard were not normal or if there was something more to it than that. Maybe if things returned to normal between Richard and her, she might not be thinking of Josh. Could it be her feelings for Josh were misplaced because he gave her the attention she had craved from Richard? Everything had seemed okay before Richard proposed and then it all seemed to change when Josh came into the picture.

  Before Chloe knew it, the hour had passed and she parked her car in the familiar driveway of her mother’s San Rafael home.

  Suzanne’s three bedroom home looked the same as Chloe had remembered it two years ago. Her mother had more plants in her garden than before, which wasn’t surprising since Suzanne loved flowers. As Chloe rang the doorbell, Greta explored new scents around the area and then marked her spot.

  “Chloe, it’s so nice to see you,” Jill said, opening Suzanne’s door. “I’ve missed you. What are you doing here? Your mom just left to pick up her clothes at the cleaners, but she should be back soon.”