In the Wake of Wanting

“Trey, we can’t run a story like this.”

  “The hell we can’t!”

  “He’s right. We’ll be sued. It will still be his word against theirs.”

  “But we’ll have enough evidence to make sure his word is no good, Professor Aslon. And if he files a lawsuit… I don’t care. I’ll pay for the lawyer for The Wit myself. I won’t let him get away with this. Not at this school, not in this city… not anywhere that he can do this to another human being.

  “If The Wit doesn’t want this, it’ll be newsworthy enough that the Times or Post will want it. It’s Asher Knoxland. I would just rather it stay with Columbia because I have a feeling there are other women who haven’t come forward.”

  “It’s so risky. Maybe even irresponsible.”

  “Coley and I are covering our bases. It’s worth it,” I tell her, “as a warning to every other woman on this campus. Don’t you think? How do you feel, knowing he’s out there every night? What if you had a daughter on this campus? It scares the hell out of me to know Coley’s out walking alone… and he has his eyes on her. He has since the first day of the semester.”

  I wonder if I just admitted a little too much about my feelings for Coley.

  “I mean, she’s just one of many women I worry about. All of my female friends,” I add, feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket. It says it’s a text from Lucy. “Just a second. This could be related.”

  - - How does Asher know I was at your apartment?

  - What do you mean?

  An image comes through: a screen shot of a text message sent to her from Asher. He’s asked her why she was at my place on Monday.

  - When did you get that?

  - - Just now.

  - Did you respond?

  - - No.

  - Don’t. I didn’t tell him anything, Lucy. I haven’t told anyone you were there. Not the police. Not anyone. I know Coley wouldn’t, either.

  - - Then how does he know?

  - I don’t know.

  - - Why hasn’t he been arrested?

  - They don’t have enough evidence to charge him yet. Coley and I are doing everything we can to help.

  - - I’m scared, Trey.

  - It’s not too late to go to the police, Lucy. It’s never too late to report it. It could be just what they need to solidify a case against him.

  - - If it came down to it, would you testify about what you saw?

  - Absolutely, I would. Lucy, so far, you’re the only victim who knows for a fact that it was him. Unless the police find physical evidence, they’re basing everything on conjecture.

  - - Okay.

  - I can’t tell you what to do. Whatever you decide, though, promise me you’ll be on guard. Take a friend with you when you can.

  - - I will.

  “That was one of the other victims we’ve found,” I tell my professor. “Somehow Asher found out she was at my apartment on Monday night. That’s where we interviewed her.”

  “Wasn’t there press in your building on Monday?”

  “Earlier in the day. They were gone by the time she got there.”

  “Maybe someone lingered,” she suggests. “Maybe there’s a picture of her there.” That really could be the only explanation. I nod my head, agreeing, even though that only puts her at my building and not in my apartment. “Don’t involve Pryana in this story, Trey. I don’t want any other students involved. I’ll be advising on this one. You and Coley be as thorough as possible. I want an airtight article.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “I want you both to check in with me twice a day. I hope this wraps up quickly, but if it doesn't, don’t come back to class until it does. We’ll just say you’re on special assignment.”

  “Okay. Thank you.”

  “And if anyone asks, I suspect you and Coley have an inappropriate relationship that is interfering with your work, and that’s what we talked about today.”

  My face turns red. “Do you really think that?”

  “I think you two work really well together,” she says.

  “We’re just friends.”

  “There’s more to it, isn’t there?”

  “There can’t be right now.”

  She smiles. “Go get to work. I expect an update tonight.”

  “You’ll have one from both of us.”

  I head over to Ruvelyn’s Café, working on an astronomy assignment with a cup of coffee until I get a message from Coley. She agrees to meet me here, and we grab a cab to Pisticci.

  “Mr. Holland,” the hostess greets me warmly. “Party of two?”

  “Yes, and if you have a table that’s more private than others, that would be ideal.”

  “Of course,” she says, nodding to a waiter.

  “Right this way,” he says, leading us around the hostess stand to the back of the restaurant into a private room where no one else is seated. “Eventually, the overflow will fill this room, but for now, you two can have it.”

  “Thanks,” Coley says.

  “Thank you.”

  After we place our drink orders, she fills me in on her interview with Kamiesha. The assault sounds very similar to Pryana’s. I tell her about Lucy’s text from Asher, easing my way into telling her what I sent to Asher.

  She stares at me with her jaw dropped for about fifteen seconds.

  “I’m waiting for the punchline,” she says.

  “I’m not kidding.”

  “You told him you were writing about Pryana?”

  “I didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know.”

  “Except that you saw them going to The Wit.”

  “I suspect he knew that I saw them. I bet he saw me standing on the street. I think he was plotting his defense from the moment he saw me. The police know they were there. He’s the only one with badge access, Coley. They have footage of them in the design lab. Aslon told me.”

  “Holy shit.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why is he not in jail?”

  “That still doesn’t mean he raped her, Coley. It does mean he’s been lying, though. He’s scared.”

  “How does he know about Lucy?”

  “Maybe there were still reporters at my building, I don’t know.”

  “Oh, yeah…”

  “I think we have enough to start writing a pretty compelling story against him. Don’t you?”

  “I do. Something’s got to give. It’s just a matter of time. Right?”

  “I think so.”

  “I was going to ask you… what are you doing this weekend?” she asks.

  “I’m going to my parents’ lake house on Saturday. It’s a good place for me to get a lot of work done. To get a lot of thinking done.” Our waiter brings our food. Checking the time, I take a bite quickly. I can’t miss classes today.

  “Oh. Okay. When will you be back?”

  “Probably late that night. I think my aunt and uncle will be out there, too, so I’ll let them have the house the rest of the weekend. Why?” She tastes her food, making a face that she quickly tries to recover from.

  “I’m just trying to figure out when we’re going to work on our articles. We have our assignments, plus this one, right?” Coley sets down her spoon.

  “Wait, what’s wrong with your food?”

  “I just don’t like it.”

  “What’d you order?”

  “Something unpronounceable that said it was in a seductive broth,” she says, laughing at her choice.

  “The orecchiette,” I tell her, having had the dish many times. “Do you like prosciutto?” She nods, so I switch bowls with her.

  “No! Trey, that’s okay!”

  “I’m not gonna let you starve.”

  “I have a granola bar in my purse.”

  “Sure it hasn’t fallen out?” She glares at me as I tease her with the smuggest look I can muster. “Eat your spaghetti. I happen to like seductive broth.” I shouldn’t have said it. I realize there’s sexual innuendo behind it. I intended it. We stare at o
ne another for a few seconds. It takes all the energy I have to keep from reaching for her golden hair, gently pulling her head to mine, placing my lips on hers. We sigh at the same time. “Were you going to suggest something for editing? What’s wrong with Sunday?”

  “I’m going to see Nyall.”

  “That’s this weekend, huh?” I consider our options, running my hand over my jaw and chin. She watches the motion intently, eventually blinking out of her daze and taking another bite.

  “Well… Joel can’t come with me. Maybe… you want to make the trip with me? We could write on the plane, talk about the story on the drive out to the hospital to see Nyall… Otherwise, I’m not sure when we’ll get to do much work together.”

  “It’s that, or all-nighters,” I say, giving her the other option.

  “I’m calling for a vote. Raise your hand if you think that’s a good idea.” One side of my mouth raises in a smile, but my hands stay flat on the table. “Don’t grin at me like that. Holy fuck, Trey. Don’t ever look at me like that again.” Even in the dim light of the restaurant, I can tell she’s blushing.

  “Wow, really?” I laugh. “That? That did it for you, huh?”

  “Shut up. So you’re coming with me to see Nyall?”

  “No,” I tell her.

  “But, then when–”

  “You’re coming with me. My parents have a plane for some reason. Ever flown in a private jet?”

  “Why would we need to do that?” she asks.

  “For one thing, what we need to talk about is fairly sensitive. For another thing, we won’t have to deal with all the security shit and lines at the airport. More time to spend on our work.”

  “You don’t actually fly the aircraft, do you?”

  “No. Dad has a few different pilot friends on standby.”

  “Has he ever let you take the plane? My God, I can’t believe I just said that sentence. My parents never even let us borrow their cars,” she says.

  “No, but I don’t think he’ll mind. He’s let Jon and Livvy use it for work. This is the same thing.”

  “Will you tell them who you’re going with?”

  “Of course I will. It’s a day trip, Coley. We’re working.”

  “Yeah,” she agrees. “Well, ask him and let me know. Otherwise, we’ll need to get you a ticket on a commercial flight like a normal person.”

  “I’m normal,” I remind her. “I just have inflated resources.”

  We’re cutting it close by the time we leave, causing me to jog to my next class. At least I get a workout in the middle of the day.

  Thursday nights at Carman Hall are abuzz with activity. The weekend enthusiasm has already struck here, and the hallways are loud with shouting and laughter. It’s not much quieter in Coley’s tiny dorm room with the door closed, even though they’ve tucked a towel into the crack beneath it.

  “So, you haven’t been able to recall anything more from that night?” Coley asks, sitting on her bed next to Pryana. I stand with my back against the door and my arms at my side, sensing the discomfort of my friend. She’s told me she trusts that I wasn’t involved, but I know I can be an imposing figure with my height and stature.

  Pryana shakes her head. “I’ve been to a therapist every day. They want me to go back to my apartment tomorrow afternoon to have a session there, just to see if it brings any memories back.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Coley says. “I’ll even stay there with you, if you’d like.”

  “You wouldn’t mind? They’ve changed the locks. I have all new keys.”

  Coley looks back at me. I nod my head, encouraging her. “I’d be happy to. Safety in numbers.”

  “I’m a phone call away,” I tell them both. “Your apartment’s not that far.”

  “Thanks, Trey,” Pryana tells me. “Thanks to both of you for coming to check on me. I’ll go back to classes next week–except The Wit. Not if he’s there. Not until I know it wasn’t him. I know it shouldn’t be guilty until proven innocent, but–”

  “I think you’re safest this way,” Coley says. “He hasn’t contacted you?”

  “He’s called me multiple times, but he won’t leave me messages. And he hasn’t texted. He always used to text me. It’s the only way we’ve ever communicated, in fact.”

  “It’s like he doesn’t want anything recorded. Nothing documented,” I say. “It reeks of guilt, if you ask me.”

  “It’s a change in behavior,” she comments. “That’s for sure.”

  “Something you may want to mention to the police, the next time you speak to them,” I suggest. Coley stands up and gives Pree a hug.

  “I’ll bring my things by in the morning, and then I’ll meet you here after my last class tomorrow.”

  “Okay.”

  “Take care, Pryana.”

  “Bye, Trey.”

  “She looks so much better than she did on Monday,” Coley says as we take the stairs to the bottom floor. “Less in shock, I guess.”

  “More accepting of the fact that some asshole violated her while she was passed out,” I say angrily.

  “Why hasn’t he been arrested yet? Shouldn’t the rape kit show something?”

  “They can take months to process.”

  “Months?”

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s bullshit.”

  “They have to be thorough, and they have to eliminate any possibility of mistakes. It can be done in a few days, but that’s only done in extremely rare, high-profile cases. This wouldn’t qualify. They need to find some other physical evidence… or enough circumstantial evidence to warrant the arrest.”

  “I don’t want to go to class with him, either!”

  “Believe me, I don’t like you on the same campus with him,” I admit, just as we hit the ground floor. “The most distressing thing is, Coley, he’s not the only one. There’s no way in hell he’s the only one. He’s just the only one we know of. Zaina and I did a little mini-report on this in high school. Sixteen percent of all women will be sexually assaulted while in college. That’s insanely high. And something like six percent of college men had attempted to or actually raped someone. So in your Contemporary Civilization class of twenty people, three of those girls will be assaulted while they’re here, and one of those guys will either attempt to rape someone, or will actually do it.”

  “That can’t be right. You’d hear more about it,” she argues as we walk down the street.

  “A large percentage of women don’t report it to authorities. Only half of the colleges report it when women do. And only about twenty percent of rapes are prosecuted when they’re reported to police. That’s why you don’t hear more about it.”

  She stops walking and looks up at me. “We have to write this story, Trey.”

  “I know,” I tell her. “We are. We’re going to make it compelling and true and difficult to read, and we’re going to let it be a warning to all students on campus–not just women–but anyone who finds themselves in a vulnerable situation like this. A warning to anyone who thinks someone like Asher Knoxland is too good to do something like this.”

  “Okay.”

  “Let’s grab a pizza and head home. We won’t have to waste time on cooking; we can just get straight to work.”

  “Perfect.”

  I take her to Sal’s and show her all the random New York memorabilia they’ve collected over the years that hangs from their walls as we wait, taking a picture of her seated on an iron chair that was a central part of one of her favorite movies. I didn’t know this about her until now.

  I don’t think Coley takes a bad picture.

  At home, she sets up our laptops as I dish up our dinner, pouring spiked Cokes for both of us to celebrate–or mourn–our last night as roommates. It was her suggestion that we have a little toast before dinner. After my instant messaging program launches, as it always does when I log in, I get an incoming video call from Zaina. I glance at Coley, picking up my laptop and situating it so that she isn’t in the
frame. “I have to take this. She rarely calls this late.”

  “It’s fine!” she says.

  “Hey, Zai,” I say to her, setting the computer down on the coffee table and having a seat on the floor. “Kinda late there, isn’t it?”

  “It is, but I made an impulsive decision tonight and I couldn’t wait to tell you about it.” She seems about as excited as I’ve ever seen her.

  “Yeah? Go ahead.”

  “You know we have our mid-semester break next week? Well, I’m coming home on Sunday.”

  I concentrate to keep the smile on my face. “That’s great, Zaina. Awesome.”

  “I know you’re in the middle of this huge story–”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “That’s why I thought I’d come. I figured you might need some help, or maybe a little nightly distraction. Some stress release or something?” she says suggestively. I blush, expectedly, and briefly glance up at Coley. She’s typing away at her computer, ignoring her dinner and pretending to not hear my conversation.

  “Sunday? What time?”

  “My flight gets in at JFK at seven-fifteen that night. Can you pick me up?”

  “Sure,” I tell her. We should be back in Jersey by six. I think I can make it by then.

  “Can I, maybe, stay with you that night?”

  “Uhhh… Zai, I don’t have the week off, you know?”

  “It’s just that I got this weird text from Asher today.”

  “What?” Coley’s head jerks in my direction now. “How did he even get your number?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What did it say?”

  “He said that Coley was staying with you this week. And I thought, for sure that can’t be right. For sure you would have mentioned that to me.” Her bottom lip starts to tremble when she sees the truth on my face.

  “Zai, it’s nothing like that. Pryana needed a place to stay, so she’s staying with Coley’s roommate. Her dorm room is tiny. Coley needed a bed, so she’s staying in my spare room.”

  “Why couldn’t Pryana stay with you?!” she yells.

  “Pryana was just raped by a stranger. I think the last thing she wants to do is stay with a guy she barely knows. And plus, how would that be any better, huh?” I challenge her.

  “Is she there now? Is Coley listening to this whole conversation?”