A Whiff of Scandal

  Her hands fluttered anxiously over her hair and her heart cartwheeled with unexpected delight. ‘Then don’t underestimate yourself, Basil,’ she said coyly. ‘You’re risking Anise’s wrath by coming to court me and that’s far worse than anything whirling rotor blades or Jaws ever had to offer.’ She giggled with nerves and kissed him affectionately on his cheek. His smooth cheek. ‘Thank you.’

  She led him into the lounge, fanning her face to cool the redness that was flaming her cheeks. Nursing the Dairy Box to her she sat down and motioned to the chair opposite her. Basil obediently sat down, smoothing his nonexistent hair as if he was still trying to get used to it himself.

  ‘I take it you are coming to court me, Basil,’ she said directly, the tremble that she felt inside thankfully not translating itself to her voice.

  ‘I had rather hoped to,’ he said shyly.

  Angelica smiled. ‘We did get on rather well the other night, didn’t we?’ They had, over several cups of Earl Grey, discovered a mutual appreciation for the music of Cole Porter, the paintings of Cézanne and the taste of Italian food.

  ‘I should say so.’

  ‘It was unfortunate that Anise’s accident had to bring us together, but every cloud has a silver lining, so they say.’ She crossed her legs and hoped that she wasn’t showing too much stocking. ‘You were here for nearly two hours, Basil, and you didn’t say “I’d hang the bastards” once. That has to be a good sign.’ Angelica smoothed her hair away from her forehead with practised elegance, hoping that perhaps she had finally found someone who would appreciate it.

  ‘I find that all anger seems to dissipate in your presence.’ His voice was earnest. ‘You’re a fine woman, Angelica.’ Basil looked at something invisible in his lap. ‘I was full of admiration for the way you handled the crisis. It was a side of you that I hadn’t seen before. Calm and resilient. I like that in a woman.’

  ‘I’ve had years of practice, Basil. Anise invariably creates the crisis and I come along with the emotional mop and bucket afterwards. It’s always been the same.’

  ‘Do you think you could look upon me as a suitor?’

  ‘I’d be delighted to, Basil.’ She gave him a sideways glance. ‘Though we both always thought that you had eyes only for Anise, and I’m afraid it won’t be the first time I’ve snatched a young man from under her nose. She isn’t likely to take kindly to it.’

  ‘Anise was using my affections as a tiramisu.’

  ‘I think you mean as a trifle, Basil.’

  ‘I was trying to update myself for the nineties,’ he explained. ‘You can do an awful lot more with sponge fingers now than you could in my day.’

  ‘How true,’ Angelica sympathised.

  ‘Anyway, Anise was using me purely to spy on poor Rose.’ Basil sniffed in an offended manner. ‘I may be a lot of things, Angelica, but nosy isn’t one of them.’

  ‘Poor Rose,’ Angelica echoed. ‘Anise has had it in for her since the day she arrived in Great Brayford and, as far as I know, she hasn’t put a foot out of place.’

  ‘Actually,’ Basil rubbed at his stubble-less chin. ‘One of the reasons I’m here is because of something that happened at Rose’s yesterday.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘She had a visitor. At first I thought it might be her pervert, but he was far too smart.’ He glanced up at Angelica. ‘I’m almost certain it was the chap that she’d left behind in London. He looked that sort.’

  ‘But what has that got to do with us?’

  He was fidgeting with his hands and looked like he wished he had brought his security-blanket trilby with him. Basil sighed. ‘He reminded me of myself when I was younger. I used to be quite a spiv back then.’ He smiled winsomely.

  ‘I’m sure you did.’

  ‘It made me realise that I’d let myself go.’ Basil studied his fingernails. ‘For the first time, I saw myself as I really am – a sad old man. With no one to care for, I’d also stopped caring for myself. I decided that it was time to stop the rot.’ He fixed her with an intense stare from his blue eyes. They were quite clear and sparkling, not rheumy like most old men’s eyes were. Not too long ago she would have call them mad eyes, now they were just mischievous. Basil took a deep breath. ‘To use modern parlance, I want to get a life before it’s too late.’

  ‘Basil! There’s plenty of life in the old dog yet.’

  ‘With you I feel like a frisky young pup.’

  ‘Oh, Basil!’ Angelica coloured. ‘If you’re not careful you’re going to make me blush.’

  He wrung his hands like a dishcloth. ‘Your face is like poetry in motion, Angelica.’

  ‘What do you mean, Basil? Composed of uneven lines and heading south?’

  ‘Dear lady!’

  ‘You haven’t been drinking, have you?’

  Basil’s crest looked in danger of falling. ‘I only popped into the Black Horse for a swift one before I came here – a spot of Dutch courage. Nothing more.’

  ‘Not Advocaat on an empty stomach, surely, Basil.’ Angelica shook her head. ‘I think I’d better put the kettle on.’

  Basil struggled from the chair and, with some effort, fell to his knees at her feet. ‘Angelica, I’m here to plight my troth.’

  Angelica looked disconcerted. ‘What exactly is a troth, Basil? And how can you be sure you want to plight it?’

  ‘I’d like to ask for your hand,’ Basil persisted.

  ‘My hand?’ she said with surprise. ‘What about the rest of me?’

  ‘I want you to marry me,’ he announced in a rush.

  ‘Marry you?’

  ‘Does that seem so outrageous?’ Basil looked pained. It could have been because he was kneeling on the carpet. The underlay had been past its best for years.

  ‘But what will Anise say?’ Angelica said.

  ‘Does it matter what Anise says?’

  ‘No.’ Angelica was firm. Firmer than she had ever sounded before.

  ‘No, you won’t marry me?’

  ‘No!’ Angelica repeated. ‘No, I don’t give a damn what Anise says! We’re both old enough and wise enough to do exactly as we please. We should make hay while the sun shines, Basil.’ Angelica gazed at him with mischief glinting in her eyes. ‘But wouldn’t you prefer to live in sin? It sounds so much more exciting.’

  ‘I’d rather make an honest woman of you, if you don’t mind,’ Basil said apologetically.

  ‘I’ve been an honest woman all my life. I’ve found it’s very much overrated.’

  ‘Marry me,’ he implored earnestly, the discomfort of the carpet etched into his face – and probably his knees.

  Angelica’s heart went out to him and a smile spread over her face. ‘I’d be delighted to marry you.’

  Basil struggled to his feet. He might be dressed like the man in the Milk Tray advertisement, but he certainly wasn’t as athletic. With trembling fingers, he took Angelica’s hands. ‘I’m not a sad old man any more. You, my dear, dear lady, have made me a very happy one.’

  ‘Well,’ Angelica patted her hair self-consciously. ‘I think that a cup of tea is definitely called for.’

  ‘Surely this warrants more of a celebration!’ Basil boomed.

  ‘You’re absolutely right. Wait here. I have a bottle of champagne in the fridge that I won on the tombola at the Christmas fête.’

  ‘That sounds more like it!’

  ‘We should start as we mean to go on.’ Angelica’s voice drifted from the kitchen. She reappeared brandishing the bottle and two glasses. ‘Would you like to drink this upstairs, Basil?’

  ‘Dear lady!’ Basil’s eyes widened and he looked decidedly flustered.

  ‘I’m no lady, Basil,’ she said. ‘Don’t let my appearance as an elegant old has-been fool you.’

  ‘I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m terribly out of practice in the ways of courtship.’ He cast his eyes towards the Axminster with the worn underlay. ‘Particularly in the bedroom,’ he mumbled. ‘It’s a long time since I . . .’ His voice faded
to nothing.

  ‘Basil,’ she said softly. ‘The last time I was horizontal in bed with a man, Bill Haley and his Comets were at the top of the pop charts with ‘Rock Around the Clock’. There’s nothing to worry about. It’s about time we had some fun.’ She took his hand and led him towards the bedroom, waving the champagne bottle. ‘We’ll have some French courage first. It should sit very nicely on top of your Advocaat.’

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  BUILDING UP BREAKS AND FRACTURES

  Ginger, Lavender.

  Once a break or fracture has taken place, it is often difficult for the broken parts to knit together again in the same way. Rubbed regularly over the damaged area, this blend of warming, healing oils will help to strengthen that which was torn apart.

  from: The Complete Encyclopaedia of Aromatherapy Oils by Jessamine Lovage

  ‘I hear that you’re leaving.’ Angelica smiled sadly.

  ‘Mr Patel?’ Rose said, raising her eyebrows quizzically.

  ‘Who else, my dear.’ Angelica took her hand and patted it. ‘We shall all miss you terribly.’

  ‘Perhaps some people will.’ She gave Angelica a rueful smile. ‘But in other quarters I certainly won’t be considered Great Brayford’s biggest loss.’ They both looked through the half-open door to the lounge where Anise reclined in a garden lounger which had been pressed into service because the armchairs were too low for her to sit in. Her bare toes were sticking out from the end of her plaster cast which was resting on a cushion on the coffee table. They glanced knowingly at each other.

  ‘Well, I shall miss you,’ Angelica assured her.

  Rose lowered her voice. ‘Talking of people who won’t miss me,’ she put a small brown bottle of essential oil on the kitchen work surface, clearly labelled ‘Building Up Breaks and Fractures’, ‘I’ve brought a peace offering for the invalid.’

  ‘Oh, how sweet of you.’ Angelica peered at the label. ‘What’s in it?

  ‘It’s a blend of mainly ginger and lavender.’

  ‘How lovely.’

  ‘Nothing too sinister,’ Rose added.

  ‘Shame,’ Angelica said, eyeing the inoffensive bottle with longing. ‘Still, it’s so much more useful than flowers. The house is beginning to look like a florist’s and there are only so many chipped and dusty old vases that one can drag out from the under stairs cupboard without too much shame. It’s amazing really, I never thought Anise was so popular.’ Her mouth turned down in thought. ‘Perhaps they were all hoping she’d died.’

  ‘She should rub the oil into her leg every day, once the plaster has been removed.’ Rose toyed absently with the bottle. ‘Do you think she’ll use it?’

  ‘I’ll encourage her to. But you know what they say,’ Angelica shook her head. ‘You can lead a cow to water, but you can’t make it drink.’

  ‘I think it’s actually lead a horse to water.’

  ‘I’ll stick with cow,’ Angelica replied with a twinkle in her eye. ‘It seems more appropriate in this case.’

  Rose smiled. ‘How’s she coping?’

  ‘Not very well. Whoever invented the word patient didn’t take Anise into account. She’s still behaving very badly.’

  Rose clicked her tongue behind her teeth in sympathy. ‘You deserve a medal!’

  ‘Not really.’ Angelica’s voice wavered. ‘I haven’t been very kind to her. And, despite my scathing comments, I’m trying to be nicer.’

  ‘It must be very difficult to see her so incapacitated.’

  ‘Yes.’ Angelica nodded with feeling. ‘It’s so much more difficult for her to be intimidating when she’s forced to sit down.’ She laughed weakly. ‘And it’s surprising how much I miss it.’

  Rose’s face creased with concern. ‘More importantly, how are you coping?’

  ‘In truth,’ Angelica sighed, ‘I’m not coping terribly well. I’m getting far too old to look after this big house and, quite frankly, I’ve got better things to do with my time.’

  Rose sat down opposite her. ‘So I’d heard!’

  ‘Mr Patel?’ Angelica ventured.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Well, they say that good news travels fast.’

  ‘And this is very good news, Angelica.’ She took the old lady’s hands and squeezed them affectionately.

  ‘That’s another reason I’m trying to be nice to Anise. It’s very unfair of me to have stolen her beau. She’s not going to be frightfully pleased.’

  ‘I wouldn’t have thought that Anise would have requited Basil’s love.’

  ‘Possibly not, but that won’t stop her from making a meal out of the fact that he’s deserted her.’ She pulled out a chair and sat at the kitchen table. ‘Or continuing to make my life a misery.’

  Rose clapped her hands together excitedly. ‘Who’d have thought, you and Basil! I hope you’ll be very happy together.’

  ‘I’m sure we will.’

  It was a fine spring day and a warm breeze blew in through the open back door. The fresh green expanse of lawn was punctuated by the vibrant pink and white blossoms of the burgeoning cherry trees. The spindly hedge at the bottom of the garden was laced with the bright yellow splash of forsythia, a showy statement that belied the dullness of the plain green shrub that followed. A vase of daffodils stood in the middle of the table, echoing the swathes of pale lemony blooms that nodded gently in the garden – except the ones on the table were from Tesco. Two bunches bound by elastic bands, courtesy of the Reverend Allbright.

  ‘Are you going to move out of here?’ Rose asked as she admired the garden.

  Angelica glanced cautiously towards the lounge door. The bare toes wiggled. She lowered her voice to a whisper. ‘I expect so. I can’t see that Anise would welcome Basil here with open arms.’

  ‘That might be expecting too much,’ Rose agreed with a grin.

  ‘I wanted her to consider moving to one of Builder’s Bottom’s retirement flats. We don’t need a house this size. Half the rooms are beginning to smell musty because they’re unused. I thought it was a very good idea.’

  ‘Did Anise?’

  ‘She said I was asking her to live in penury.’ Angelica tutted forcefully. ‘Penury. I ask you. Whatever gave her that impression? All I wanted her to do was to move across the road to somewhere that won’t be damp in the winter. I don’t even know where penury is!’

  Rose smiled to herself and chose not to trouble Angelica with directions.

  ‘In the meantime, while we discuss the pros and cons of our domestic arrangements, we’re going to get a new gardener and a cleaner.’

  ‘Basil’s retiring?’

  ‘It’s too much for the poor dear lamb and he had an ulterior motive. This sudden love for gardening was a ruse to get closer to Anise.’ Angelica smiled wickedly. ‘And look where that got him.’

  Rose linked her hands under her chin. ‘I suppose I’ll have to find someone else too.’

  ‘That’s hardly going to be your problem, is it?’

  ‘Oh.’ The smile dropped from Rose’s face with the realisation of what lay in store for her. ‘Of course. I’d forgotten. Just for a moment.’

  Angelica leaned forward conspiratorially and whispered, ‘I’m going to get a couple of surly young things who’ll give Anise as good as they get.’

  ‘Make sure that you get someone who can vacuum properly!’ Anise’s voice came stridently from the lounge.

  Angelica raised her eyebrows, nodded in the direction of the lounge and then gave Rose a perplexed shrug. ‘And this from a woman who has never handled the dirty end of a vacuum cleaner!’

  ‘I thought you were going to be nicer to her,’ Rose reminded Angelica.

  ‘I’ll start tomorrow,’ she promised earnestly, patting Rose’s hand. ‘Anyway, that’s enough of us, now you must tell me all about you. I believe your man from London has come back – your grande passion.’

  ‘Mr Patel really should get an OBE for services to broadcasting.’

  ‘Ah, now that’s where you
’re wrong, my dear. Our Mr Patel must have been having an off day. Basil beat him to it.’

  ‘Basil?’

  ‘He saw your young man arriving.’ Angelica gave a tinkling laugh. ‘I believe he mistook him for your pervert.’

  Rose’s eyes darkened. ‘Actually, Basil wasn’t a million miles away,’ she said. ‘For an intelligent man, Hugh can be such an idiot at times.’

  Angelica’s eyebrows drew together in a frown. ‘That doesn’t sound like the sort of thing one should be saying about the love of one’s life.’

  Rose looked down self-consciously at her fingers. Half of her nails had disappeared already and she’d only moved a couple of the tea chests that the removal firm had delivered. ‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘It doesn’t.’

  Angelica heaved a weary sigh and covered Rose’s smooth, unlined hand with her age-flecked, papery one. ‘Are you sure you’re doing the right thing, my dear? I thought you were getting on so well with Builder’s Bottom. You seemed so perfectly suited.’ She paused, waiting for Rose to answer. When she didn’t, Angelica continued, ‘I take it you know that Gardenia has gone.’

  Rose nodded mutely.

  ‘Mr Patel again,’ Angelica added as an afterthought. ‘Dan seems so very unhappy. Even more unhappy than when he was with her. And that’s very unhappy.’ She tilted her head sideways, forcing contact with Rose’s lowered eyes. ‘The only time I’ve seen him look truly happy in recent years was when he was with you.’

  Rose looked up, an expression of abject misery on her face. ‘Don’t say that, Angelica. Please. It’s the last thing I want to hear.’

  The old lady looked kindly at her. ‘The truth sometimes is.’

  ‘It was awful. We had a terrible fight.’ Rose’s eyes had started to water and it was much too early to be blamed on hay fever. ‘He came to see me after Gardenia had left him. He was in a terrible state when he arrived and was in an even worse state by the time he left.’ Rose put her elbows on the table and began to pick viciously at a tiny patch of dry skin next to her thumb. She grimaced at Angelica. ‘After he discovered Hugh was there.’

  ‘Did he catch you in flagrante delicto?’ she asked.