A Hard Day's Knight
The marble floor was stained with blood and filth and scattered human offal. Some old, some new, piled up here and there, or kicked aside to make rough passageways. From the high beamed ceiling hung massive chandeliers, made from human bone and gristle, with candles fashioned from human fat. They gave off a thick greasy smoke that hung heavily on the air. There were braziers with irons heating in them, and iron maidens with fresh blood round their bases, and all kinds of instruments of torture, ready for us. One man had been recently dissected, all of his parts cut out and separated, pinned to a large display board. His heart still beat, his lungs still moved, and—like all the others—he was still somehow alive.
I knew what all these things were, without having to be told; there was a low-level information spell operating in the Court. Merlin wanted his visitors to know what happened here. So he could stamp out the last little bit of hope they brought in with them.
Merlin Satanspawn sat on his great iron throne at the very end of the Court. Hugely fat and naked, and happy in his evil. He beckoned for Suzie and me to approach, with one plump, blood-stained hand. I headed straight for him, as though that was what I’d intended all along. I didn’t look down at what I was striding through. Suzie stuck close beside me. I made a point of not hurrying. In a place like this, small victories were sometimes all you’ve got. I took the time to study the woman sitting on the iron throne next to Merlin’s. Incredibly tall and inhumanly slender, she was also naked; but her ivory pale skin was marked with intricate tattoos, from her bald head to her clawed feet. Celtic and Druidic designs, mostly. Her ears had points, and her eyes were golden. Elven blood. A halo of flies buzzed round her head.
There were no more knights in dark armour, no guards, not even any courtiers. Merlin wanted no witnesses to see him forced to bargain with Stark for the sword Excalibur.
I came to a halt a wary distance short of the two thrones and nodded casually to Merlin. Suzie sniffed loudly. Merlin smiled happily on both of us.
“Allow me to introduce Morgan Le Fae,” he said. “Now I am King, she shall be Queen. Because it pleases me.”
“She reminds me of my mother, Lilith,” I said. “And not in a good way.”
“My mentor,” said Morgan, in a harsh, rasping voice. “Long ago, now. And my ancestor, of course. So welcome, cousin. The family can always use an infusion of fresh blood.”
“Okay,” I said. “That was creepy, on a whole bunch of different levels.”
“Are you an elf?” said Suzie, with her usual bluntness. “I thought Merlin killed all the elves here.”
“All but this one,” said Merlin. “I thought she had ... potential.”
“I never liked the others anyway,” said Morgan.
“I’m not here to talk to you,” I said. “Stark! Stark, where are you? Come on, I know you’re here; I Saw you.”
He stepped out from behind Merlin’s throne and met my angry gaze impassively. He still wore his fine armour, the helmet tucked under one arm, but the gleaming steel had been fouled with blood and filth and gore. His face was empty, blank of any emotion. There was no sign of Excalibur anywhere about him, and a chill touched my heart as I wondered whether I was too late after all. If he’d already given Merlin the sword ... But no; Stark wouldn’t give up Excalibur without getting what he wanted first. And there was no sign in the Court of his wife Julianne, living or dead.
“You took your time getting here,” Merlin said to me. “I’ve been expecting you.”
“You know how it is,” I said. “Taking in the scenery ... things to do, people to kill. You do know we killed King Artur? Suzie blew his head right off, so I wouldn’t recommend trying to bring him back.”
“His conversation never was that thrilling,” said Merlin. “But I take your point. Yes, I knew he was dead the moment it happened. Pity ... After all the trouble he caused me, I would have enjoyed killing him myself. And the example I would have made of him would have traumatised generations. Still, I would have killed him anyway even if he hadn’t run away. I don’t need him any more. I’ve finally grown tired of the old stories. No more Arthurs; none of them were ever as much fun as corrupting the original. Fallen saints always make the best sinners ... Now I am King, and I have taken Arthur’s sister as my Queen. Ah, the progeny we’ll have.”
“Oh puke,” said Suzie.
“Speaking of family,” I said quickly, “we met your brother on the way here. Prince Gaylord the Damned. We sent him back to Hell with his tail between his legs.”
“Made him cry like a baby,” said Suzie. She let her shotgun drift from Merlin to Morgan Le Fae and back again.
Merlin laughed abruptly and clapped his hands together in glee. “Happy news! You have done me a service, John Taylor; I owe you! And since I can’t stand to owe anyone anything, your suffering shall be legendary, even in Camelot.”
“Big talk,” said Suzie, “for a fat man with no clothes on.”
“Don’t taunt the fat psychopath sorcerer,” said Stark, unexpectedly. We all looked at him, but he had nothing else to say.
“Stark will be leaving us soon,” said Merlin. “Once we’ve closed our little deal. And then, through him I shall make contact with Queen Mab and her army of elves and use them to conquer your world. Ah me, a whole new world to play with ... I can hardly contain myself.”
“Try,” said Suzie. “It’s messy enough in here as it is.”
Merlin looked at her. “One more interruption, and I’ll turn you into something amusing. Where was I ... ? Ah yes; the elves. I’ve often wondered whether I was right to let them stay dead ... I think they would have appreciated what I’ve done with the place.”
“No,” I said. “The elves, for all their differences, have always understood honour.”
“And taste,” said Suzie. She grinned nastily at Merlin. “Go on. Try something. I’ve always wanted to be amusing.”
I looked directly at Stark, who was staring out across the bloody Court, ignoring us all. “Do you still think you can make a deal with Merlin? After everything you’ve seen here? This was Camelot, the birth of a wonderful dream. And look what he’s done to it.”
Stark turned his empty gaze on me. “I’m only waiting because Merlin said he wouldn’t close the deal until you two were here to witness it. You fascinate Merlin. He lusts to see you broken.”
“Nasty man,” said Suzie. It wasn’t immediately obvious whom she meant.
“Enough,” said Morgan Le Fae. She leaned forward on her throne, her face ugly with anticipation. “Break them, my King, with pain and horror and despair. Tear away their insulting pride and make them grovel before us. Make them love us and plead to serve us.”
Suzie laughed in Morgan’s face. “Not a hope in hell, bitch. We don’t do that.”
“But you will,” said Merlin. “Anyone can be broken. And the more defiant you are, the sweeter my triumph will be.”
“Don’t shoot him, Suzie,” I said quietly. “Not yet.”
“Why not?” said Suzie, in a perfectly reasonable tone of voice.
“Because that’s Merlin Satanspawn, the anti-Christ, and the most powerful sorcerer, ever. And I don’t have nearly as much faith in your cursed and blessed ammo as you do. And because I haven’t finished with Stark yet. He has to have his chance, to do the right thing.” I turned back to Stark. “You were a London Knight. You led their armies into war against the powers of evil. Did you ever think you’d end up in a place like this, begging to make a deal with the anti-Christ? You swore an oath, upon your life and upon your honour, to fight things like him. How can you see what’s happened here and turn your head away?”
“I am sickened by what I have seen,” said Stark. “I never knew such corruption, such evil, was possible. But I swore an oath to myself that I would do whatever I have to to get my love back.” He turned away from me, to address Merlin. “Your witnesses are here. You can have Excalibur—after you’ve given me what I want. My wife, alive again, for the sword. So do it. Do it now.”
/> “You have hidden the sword well, Sir Jerusalem,” said Merlin. “All my power, and I can’t see it anywhere. And that’s one of the reasons why I want it. I don’t like the idea of anything existing that can defy my power. Let us make our deal. Because nothing can stop us now.”
Suzie lifted her shotgun, and I was readying myself to do something. Then we all stopped dead and looked about us because something had changed in the Court. Something was coming. We could all feel it; something coming to Court from a direction I could sense but not name. Merlin sat up straight on his throne, looking round him with a look that was part apprehension and part anticipation. I gathered it wasn’t often anything happened in his Court that he didn’t expect. Morgan Le Fae had sunk back on her throne, a pale hand pressed to her pale mouth. She was an elf, and Saw more clearly than any of us. And then, Julianne Stark was standing in the bloody Court of Camelot, a ghost come to stand before the throne of Merlin, unsummoned and unafraid. She had fought her way here from the land of the dead because the man she loved was in danger. Because he needed her.
“You can’t be here,” said Merlin. “I didn’t call you. Be gone, little ghost, or I’ll show you even the dead can be made to suffer.”
“Hello, Jerry,” said Julianne, ignoring Merlin with magnificent disdain. “Glad to see me?”
“Always,” said Stark. “But the sorcerer is right. You shouldn’t be here. I didn’t want you to know there could be a place like this. How can you be here when I didn’t summon you?” He looked down at the preserved heart in its spun-silver cage at his belt. His hand was nowhere near it, but Julianne looked solid and very real. He smiled at her, and she smiled at him, and the whole atmosphere in the Court changed, as though the sun had finally risen after a long night.
“How could I stay away,” said Julianne, “when your very soul is in peril? It was easy to come here, Jerry. This is a world of ghosts.”
“Julie, you have to let me do this. I’m doing it for you, for us ... because I can’t bear to go on living like this. Without you.”
“I don’t want to live again,” said Julianne, holding his gaze with hers. “Not at such a cost. To you, and to this world. Listen to me, Jerry. This world can still be saved, the people set free to live their own lives again ... but not if you give Excalibur to Merlin Satanspawn. With its power he could raise all the dead of this world and torment them forever. And then come to our world to do it all again. I couldn’t bear to have that on my conscience; and neither could you. I swear to you, Jerry. If you make me live again, at such a cost, I will kill myself.”
“Julie, don’t ... I can’t lose you again.”
“‘I could not love thee, dear, half so much, Loved I not honour more,’” said Julianne.
She reached out with her ghostly hands and took his living ones in hers; and Stark didn’t flinch a bit. “I said that to you once,” he said finally.
“I know. That was when I first knew I loved you.”
Stark smiled at her, a real smile, the first I’d ever seen from him. “I’ve missed you so much, Julie. So much, I couldn’t see anything else. You always were the sensible one in this relationship.”
“How sickeningly sentimental,” said Merlin. “I sense your resolve is weakening, Sir Jerusalem, and I can’t have that. So give me Excalibur or I’ll destroy the heart that hangs at your belt and take control of this whining little spirit for myself. Just because she’s dead, don’t think I can’t hurt her. Don’t think I can’t make her scream and suffer while you watch helplessly. Haven’t you seen enough here to know that even the dead aren’t safe from me?”
He gestured sharply, and every broken, mutilated, and skinned corpse nailed to the walls and ceiling came suddenly alive. They raised their flayed faces, strained their wet-muscled arms against the pins that held them, and screamed in agony. The horrid sound was deafening. Bodily fluids rained down from still-working organs exposed to the air, and a thousand raw and desperate voices called out for rest and mercy and death. And Merlin Satanspawn and Morgan Le Fae sat on their iron thrones and laughed.
Stark strode forward to stand before the two thrones, Julianne drifting along beside him; and something in Stark’s face stopped the laughter.
“You really shouldn’t have threatened my wife,” he said.
He reached over his shoulder and drew Excalibur from the invisible scabbard on his back. The sword flashed suddenly into existence, the long, golden blade shining supernaturally bright, its golden glow forcing back the murky light of the Court. Merlin and Morgan both flinched away from the sudden new light and raised their hands to protect their eyes.
“You had the sword all the time!” said Merlin. “How could you keep it from me, here in my place of power?”
“It’s Excalibur,” said Stark. “What else do you need to know?”
Merlin jerked his fat hand down and made himself glare into the golden light. “Artur might have had power over me with that sword, but he was the rightful born King of this land. That gave him authority. You’re only a thief with a magic sword. And I have killed so many of those in my time.”
“You might be right,” said Stark. “I’m Knight Apostate. Not worthy to bear Excalibur. But luckily, I know a man who is.”
And he turned and threw Excalibur to me. The sword seemed to hang on the air, turning end over golden end, and I had all the time in the world to reach out and grasp the hilt as it came to me. I snatched the blade out of mid air, and the blade blazed up even more brightly, a terrible, piercing light that filled the whole Court from end to end. I swept the sword back and forth before me, then looked Merlin full in the eye. He stood up abruptly from his iron throne and shoved one hand out at me. Magic blazed and crackled on the air, rewriting reality itself as it forced its way towards me ... and the sword absorbed every single bit of it. Sucked it right out of the air. I grinned at Merlin and cut suddenly at his extended hand. The golden blade flashed through the air, and Merlin snatched his hand back barely in time to avoid losing it. I stepped forward and thrust Excalibur straight at his heart; but the blade couldn’t reach him. It slammed to a halt a few inches short. I cut at him again and again, grunting with the effort I put into every blow, but brightly as the sword blazed, it still couldn’t pierce his protections.
Stark and Julianne stood to one side, hand in hand, watching patiently.
Morgan Le Fae raised a hand to fire magic at Suzie, who gave the elf both barrels of cursed and blessed ammo at point-blank range. The bullets slammed to a halt against an invisible shield, and fell harmlessly to the floor. Suzie took a step forward and fired again and again, working the pump action with smooth precision, and every time the bullets got that little bit closer.
Eventually, Morgan ran out of defences, and the blessed and cursed ammunition smashed right through her pale chest and out the back of her throne. Blood flew on the air, and Morgan’s face held a long expression of shock and surprise before she slumped forward over the wreckage of her chest, golden blood spilling from her mouth. She twitched a few times and was still. Suzie turned to help me, but I’d already had another idea.
Maybe Excalibur on its own wasn’t enough to kill Merlin Satanspawn. But I still had my ace up the sleeve. I raised my gift and sent it out to find the spirits of all those people who should have died here in Camelot’s Court. And I took the magic that bound their souls to their dead bodies and broke it in my hands. Thousands of men and women cried out in one great exultant voice, and their souls rose out of their broken bodies, shining bright as the sun, free at last, leaving only mutilated corpses hanging from the walls and ceiling. And all those thousands of spirits, with a single will, gave themselves freely to Excalibur, filling up the ancient blade, until it blazed so brilliantly even I had to turn my face aside. Merlin cried out, afraid at last, and rose from his throne as if to run; but I stepped forward and blocked his way, and ran him through. Burning bright, Excalibur thrust aside all his protections and shattered the inverted brand on his chest, slamming his bod
y back and pinning him to his throne. He cried out at the last like an angry child who’s had his toys taken away from him. I twisted the blade in his chest, destroying his heart, and he slumped in his throne, dead at last.
Just another bloody sorcerer, in the end.
I jerked the sword free and held myself ready for any last surprises; but there was nothing. The Court was still and silent. Merlin and Morgan lay dead on their thrones. Merlin’s blood dripped quickly off Excalibur, leaving the golden blade clean again.
“Not the first Merlin I’ve killed,” I said. “But definitely the most satisfying.”
Suzie moved quickly forward and looked me over, checking me for damage. It was her way of showing concern. And then I looked round sharply, because the Court was full of ghosts. Thousands of men and women, standing in long, shimmering rows, looking at me and smiling. Freed at last from their torment. I saluted them with Excalibur. Because it was more their fight than mine and because I couldn’t have done it without them. One by one, the ghosts disappeared, leaving this world behind, and I put Excalibur away. Every now and again, I feel like I’ve actually done some good, something that matters. It’s a good feeling.
Even though I’m not worthy and never want to be.
“I tried so hard to be a villain,” said Stark. “But in the end, I didn’t have it in me. Once a London Knight, always a London Knight. So, Julianne, Mr. Taylor; what do I do now?”