A Hard Day's Knight
“Who better to keep a dream alive than the man who inspired it? Brothers, together, fighting for what is right.”
“Can I ask?” I said. “Very respectfully, of course, but ... Why do we need King Arthur, specifically, to stop the elves? I could name any number of people in the Nightside who’ve fought angels, gods, and other-dimensional entities. Myself included.”
“Right,” said Suzie. “Elves die as easily as anyone else. If you aim properly.”
“But only Arthur can stop the fighting before it starts,” said Kae. “He was the only one the elves ever respected, and feared enough, to listen to. They often came to him at Camelot to sort out their disagreements when they couldn’t do it themselves. Mab and Oberon and Titania will listen to you, Arthur. They will recognise your authority and your impartiality.”
“And my willingness to kill the whole lot of them if I can’t get them to see sense,” said King Arthur.
“That, too,” said Kae.
“I like him,” said Suzie.
“My knights are ready and waiting, to do what is necessary,” said Kae. “At your command, of course.”
“They’re your knights, Kae,” said Arthur.
“Then command me, Sire,” said Kae.
“Where is Merlin?” Arthur said suddenly. “He knows the Fae better than anyone; we could use his advice. I did think he’d be here, waiting to greet me, when I came up out of the grave he put me in.”
“Merlin is dead and gone,” I said. I looked at Kae. Neither of us had anything more we felt like saying.
“Damn,” said Arthur. “He always had the best ideas.”
We showed him the other grave, and he stood beside it. “Yes, he was here. I can feel it.” He knelt, surprisingly gracefully for a man in full armour, and trailed the fingers of one hand through the grave dirt. “Merlin, couldn’t you wait for me, old friend?”
And then he stood up abruptly and stepped back, as his touch triggered a message left behind by the grave’s occupant. Merlin appeared before us, a vision of a man long dead, floating on the air above his own burial place. But this Merlin looked young and in his prime, and very much alive. How he saw himself, perhaps. He grinned easily, his hands planted on his hips, as though he’d pulled off the best trick in the world. He looked straight at King Arthur, as though he could somehow see him, even across the years. And given who and what he was, perhaps he could.
“Arthur,” he said, his voice seeming to come from a long way away, “one last confer, before I lay me down to rest in the grave that’s waiting for me. There are things I know, things I have Seen, of the world that’s coming. It isn’t what either of us thought it would be, but then, that’s life for you. Welcome to the future, Arthur. You won’t like it. But don’t let it get to you. The details may change, but people are still people. Unfortunately. Stick to the job in hand, and you’ll be fine.”
“They say the elves will war upon themselves unless I can find a way to stop them,” said Arthur. “How am I supposed to reason with the most contrary people that ever were? What if I can’t find a common ground for them?”
Merlin smiled briefly, as though he’d heard every word. “Then raise up the armies of Man, Arthur, and lead them in a war against the elves. Wipe them out, down to the last of their kind. There is no other option.”
Arthur shook his head stubbornly. “I have seen enough of war, and extinction, down the centuries. I have dreamed history, and much of it was a nightmare. I have fought elves in my time, it was my duty as defender of my people; but I never wanted to see them gone from the world. They had many fine qualities. They were beautiful and brave, magical and marvellous. They were glorious in their day.”
Merlin smiled. “You always were the wise one, Arthur. Do as you think best, my King. You always did. Good-bye, old friend. Good-bye.”
And he was gone. One last vision, of a man who was so much more and less than he could have been.
“Good-bye, Merlin,” said Arthur. “May you know peace, at last.” He turned abruptly away from the open grave to face the rest of us. “Merlin did his best to teach me some simple magics, when I was younger and he was older, though I confess I was never a very attentive student. But I did learn a few useful things. I think it is my turn to show you a vision, my friends, of the elves that were.”
He moved his left hand through a series of sudden, abrupt gestures, and a great vista opened up before us. The end of the cellars faded away, replaced by a great green expanse that stretched away to a distant horizon. A huge, dark, primordial forest stood out against the skyline, shadowy and secretive, mysterious and menacing. Untamed. A vision of old England as it was in Arthur’s day. Standing between us and the forest was a great elven city: tall towers connected by delicate walkways, gold and silver buildings, shining bright in the sunlight, with vast glowing domes and wide-open chambers, all of it magnificent to the eye. The lines were smooth and flowing, more organic than constructed, grown more than built. The whole city sparkled in the clear light, looking like every fairy tale we ever believed in as children. Breath-stoppingly beautiful, alive and protective, in a way few human cities ever are. Beside the city lay a great natural open harbour, where massive elven sailing ships lay at rest, so intricately made and fashioned that they were works of art in their own right.
The city was full of life, of elves walking in majesty and glory, with a simple grace that Humanity could never manage. They were nothing like the elves I’d known—beatendown remnants of a once-noble race. There was magic in their every movement and a dignity that bordered on arrogance. Their emotions were larger and purer than ours, and so their faults were greater, too. They were not so different from us, really. The elves ... were Humanity writ large, with all our virtues and our faults magnified. They moved like walking dreams that could become nightmares.
Other magical creatures accompanied them—whole clouds of wee winged fairies, flashing through the air, shooting back and forth in patterns too complicated for the human eye to follow, leaving behind them shimmering trails of pure joy. Winged unicorns, of a white so bright it was blinding, flying gracefully down to graze on the great green pastures. There were gryphons and cockatrices and gargoyles, moving openly, with no fear of human hunters. There were trolls and ogres and darker shapes I didn’t even recognise, gone from history so long that not even their names remained. They bowed respectfully to the elves, who moved amongst them unconcerned.
And then the marvellous scene was gone, the stone cavern abruptly back again. It felt like waking from a dream of something wonderful, lost. Arthur lowered his hand, looking tired.
“The elves were worth saving, then,” said Arthur. “Perhaps they can become worth saving again. Honour requires I give them that chance.”
“Never did share your enthusiasm for the pointy-eared bastards,” said Kae. “They did things no human being would ever do and gloried in it.”
“They were different,” said Arthur.
“And Mab was a monster!”
“Grief and loss of her only true love drove her mad,” Arthur said flatly. “I sent Tam to her; so part of everything that happened after that is down to me. She never got over Tam’s death; and immortals have so much longer to grieve than us. Her rage against the fate that took him became a rage against the world, and all who lived in it. I have known grief and loss, too.”
“It didn’t make you into a monster,” said Kae.
“It might have,” said Arthur. “You never did realise how close I came, after I lost Guinevere.” He shook his great head again. “There’s been too much killing. There’s only one way to stop this coming civil war amongst the elves; and that’s to find them a new home. All of them. I have dreamed the elves’ sad history. They are stagnating in Shadows Fall and dying in the Sundered Lands the Droods found for them. Perhaps that’s why the Droods chose it. Always were a bunch of devious bastards. No—both sides need to move to a new world, where they can thrive and prosper again, far from humanity.”
“Is this ... really such a good idea, Arthur?” said Kae, trying hard to sound tactful. “A new, revitalised elven race could be an even greater threat to Humanity. For all your ... dreams, I don’t think you realise exactly how far the elves have fallen. There’s nothing left in them but bitterness and hate for everything human. They live to screw us over because that’s all they’ve got left. Only this day, an army of elves broke into my castle and killed dozens of my good knights, simply because they could!”
“And how many of them did you kill, Kae?” said Arthur. “The killing has to stop sometime.”
“You always were a dreamer,” growled Kae.
“And sometimes I make dreams come true,” said Arthur. “Isn’t that why you founded the London Knights, to keep my dream alive?”
“I don’t know why I ever argue with you,” said Kae. “You always could talk rings round me.”
“Kae, even Gawaine could talk rings round you. And he only had fifty words, thirty of which were arse.”
They both got the giggles, which was somewhat incongruous for such large men.
“I can find the elves a new world,” I said, thinking quickly, and they both stopped laughing to look at me. I did my best to sound calm and composed. “There is an establishment here in the Nightside, with many Doors, that lead to every place you ever dreamed of. Doorways to all the worlds that ever were or may be, worlds without end. And one Door in particular leads to a world I think would be perfect for the elves. As long as we’re careful to bolt the Door firmly behind them. If I lead you to such a Door, Arthur, can you persuade the elves to go through it?”
“The returned King’s authority should be enough to summon both sides to parley,” said Kae. “Always assuming a suitable neutral ground can be found.”
“Again, I have a place in mind,” I said. “I’ve been there before, and it’s probably the one place that would impress the shit out of both sides.”
“Good!” said Arthur. “Now, for the sake of all that’s good and holy, let us leave this dismal and unpleasant place!”
“Best idea I’ve heard yet,” said Alex. “Come on up to the bar. Drinks are on me.”
“Ah!” said Arthur, beaming. “Best idea I’ve heard so far.”
Alex led the way back to the stone steps. I moved in beside him.
“Can’t help noticing you were a bit quiet back there.”
“What is there to say?” said Alex. “That’s King bloody Arthur!”
He had a point. But I’ve never believed in being over-impressed. Especially not by the good guys.
Up in the bar itself, Arthur took a good look round, and wasn’t immediately impressed. The few remaining customers took one look at him and decided to leave right then before the trouble started. Alex moved quickly behind the bar and set about dispensing drinks. Back in his usual position of authority, he was immediately much more at ease, and a lot of his usual caustic manner returned. He even told Kae off for leaning on the wooden bar top in his armour and leaving scratches. Arthur eyed the bar-stools dubiously, and decided to stand. I couldn’t help noticing that Suzie was being even quieter than usual and keeping a watchful eye on Arthur.
Before anyone could think to warn him, Arthur reached out to pet Alex’s vulture, Agatha, still squatting balefully on top of the till. He rubbed her head and chucked her under the chin, talking cheerful nonsense to her, and to everyone’s surprise the bird sat there and let him do it. She actually looked bashfully at Arthur, and fluttered her eyelashes at him. Anyone else, she’d have had his hand off at the wrist.
“Arthur’s always had a way with the beasts and the birds,” said Kae. “Never would go hunting with me.”
“Barbarian sport,” Arthur said briskly. “Killing for necessity is one thing. You’re not supposed to enjoy it.”
He studied the ranks of drinks available behind the bar and beamed happily. “We never had anything like this in my day, did we, Kae? Mead and uisge, and wines that were always half-way towards vinegar. This looks much more interesting. I want lots of drinks, and I want them now. Start pouring, bartender; I have it in me to try at least one of everything. Nothing like sleeping fifteen hundred years to work up a real thirst.”
We all looked on, suitably impressed, as Arthur knocked back the drinks as fast as Alex could produce them, to no obvious effect. Kae smiled proudly, though I noticed he made no attempt to keep up with Arthur. I sipped at a wormwood brandy, to be sociable, while Suzie barely touched her bottle of Gordon’s Gin. She was still watching Arthur carefully. After a while, Arthur belched loudly, stretched as unselfconsciously as any cat, and looked at all the empty glasses racked up before him.
“Don’t suppose there’s anything to eat here, is there?”
“I wouldn’t,” I said quickly.
Alex glared at me. “I’m sure I could find something ...”
“That’s what worries me,” I said. “A somewhat merry King Arthur is one thing; a King full of killer E coli, bent over a toilet when he should be out saving the world, is quite another.”
Alex sulked. “It’s been days since we had a real case of food poisoning.”
“What about that nun who exploded?”
“Coincidence!”
Kae got Arthur really excited over the concept of cocktails, so I moved off down the bar and left them to it. I paused a moment to murmur in Suzie’s ear.
“Why are you keeping such a close eye on King Arthur? He’s saying all the right things.”
“They always do,” said Suzie. “You of all people should know that legends rarely turn out who you expect them to be.”
“But this is King Arthur! If you can’t give someone like him the benefit of the doubt ...”
“I have,” said Suzie. “I haven’t shot him yet.”
“But can’t you ... well, just feel the nobility pouring off the man?”
“I’ve never trusted my feelings,” said Suzie.
I moved even further down the bar, took out my mobile phone, and contacted the Authorities, to find out what had been going on in the Nightside in my absence. I got put straight through to Julien Advent.
“Where the hell have you been, Taylor? All hell’s breaking loose in the Nightside!”
“It always is,” I said.
“Not like this! You’d better come straight to me, so we can talk.”
“Okay. Where are you?”
“You’ve got Walker’s old watch. He programmed it to bring him right to me, in times of need. Open it and say my name, and it’ll lock on and bring you here.”
He hung up on me. I took the gold watch out of my pocket and looked at it thoughtfully. I had to wonder what else Walker might have programmed into it. He always was a great believer in little surprises, and leaving nasty booby-traps for the unsuspecting. I looked back down the bar at the others.
“I have to pop out for a minute. Arthur, don’t touch the bar snacks. Suzie, don’t let Alex put any of this on my bill. I’ll be back soon, then we can set about stopping the elf civil war and saving all Humanity if you’re not too busy.”
“There’s time,” said Arthur expansively. “If there’s one thing sleeping for centuries teaches you, it’s that there’s always time. Now, Sir Alex, more of that peach brandy, I think. Yes. I like the peach brandy. Off you go, John Taylor. Don’t mind us. Lots of drinking still to do. Never face an elf sober; they’ll just take advantage.”
I opened up the gold watch and got the hell out of Strangefellows before I said something someone might regret.
The Portable Timeslip delivered me straight to Julien Advent, dropping me off right on the top of Griffin Hill. I arrived standing on the edge of the great pit where Griffin Hall had once stood, before the Devil himself appeared to drag it down into Hell, along with the Griffin himself and his awful wife. He really should have known better than to make a deal for immortality. No matter how good a contract you have, the Devil is always in the details. I turned my back on the pit, and looked down the long, sloping hillsi
de that led eventually to the Nightside city streets. The strange primordial jungle was still there, still horribly alive and active, thrashing violently as parts of it went to war with the rest. One of these days, the jungle is going to advance down the hill and march on the Nightside, and it will take a lot more than weed-killer to stop it.
I’d put my money on industrial-strength flame-throwers and napalm.
Julien Advent had his back to me, looking out over the Nightside streets, but I had no doubt he knew I was there. The great Victorian Adventurer had been dodging assailants and assassins for longer than I’d been alive. He could spot a ninja in a darkened room two houses away. I moved over to join him.
“Hello, John,” he said, not looking round. “So good of you to join me at such short notice. Hell of a view from up here.”
“Why are we here?” I said. “You know this place has bad memories for me.”
“This is where Walker died, isn’t it?” he said, still not looking at me.
“Yes,” I said. “He tried to kill me. I had no choice.”
“Did he die well?”
I thought about it. “He died in character,” I said finally. “He was himself, right to the very end.”
Julien shrugged. “I suppose that’s the best any of us can hope for. Look out there, John. Look what they’ve done to the Nightside.”
I looked down at the city, that great sprawl of blazing streets and hot neon. The night was full of fires and explosions, strangely coloured flames and magical flare-ups. Buildings were burning like bale-fires in the night, and every now and again an entire block would vanish, to be replaced by something worse. I watched barricaded holdouts detonate, sending burning shrapnel up into the night sky like so many fireworks. There were vivid lights and horrid sounds, and here and there certain landmarks quietly disappeared, running off to hide in some safer dimension.
“The elves have come to the Nightside,” said Julien Advent. “A whole army of the vicious little bastards, bursting out of new and old Timeslips, all across the city. I didn’t know there were so many elves left in the world. They’re killing everyone they encounter, butchering and slaughtering, and laughing all the while. I’ve got all of my people out on the streets, doing what they can; but things are bad down there. Almost as bad as the wars you started.”