L. A. Candy

  The girl sitting next to Scarlett quickly rose from her seat and gathered her things. “This is bullshit,” she grumbled as she shoved past Scarlett.

  You’re telling me, Scarlett thought. The first semester has barely begun and I’m already a social pariah.

  Scarlett watched a couple more students around her relocate to the back corner of the classroom, each one giving her a disapproving glare as they passed her seat. She totally understood their frustration. She was just as annoyed by the cameras’ presence as they were. Scarlett buried her face in her laptop while Alli, the girl Dana had pointed out, made her way around the classroom, collecting signatures and snapping digital pictures of the students who were willing to be on camera. When she was done, Dana thanked the students and left the classroom.

  Professor Cahill moved to the spot Dana had just vacated. “So. Can anyone tell me what Edward Albee was saying in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” he began.

  Professor Cahill was uncharacteristically dressed up today. Decked out in a beige linen suit and bow tie, he bore an odd resemblance to the popcorn guy, Orville Redenbacher. It was better than his usual attire, which was a pair of baggy Dockers and a button-down white shirt with the inevitable coffee stain blooming across his enormous stomach. Apparently he couldn’t drink coffee without spilling it on the exact same spot every day.

  Professor Cahill also seemed to be sweating a lot more than usual. He was slightly more animated in his lecture today, like he was starring in an American play of his own. Who’s Afraid of the Big, Bad English Professor?

  Three camera guys had set up in the classroom, one in the back filming the professor, and one in each of the front two corners of the room. The two in front seemed mostly to keep their lenses focused on Scarlett, occasionally panning over to get shots of Professor Cahill and the other students, all of whom were trying their hardest to appear unaffected by their presence.

  Scarlett’s phone started vibrating. She pulled it out of her jeans pocket and looked at the screen.

  It was a text message from Dana. CAN YOU PLEASE TILT DOWN YOUR COMP SCREEN. IT’S BLOCKING YOUR FACE, she had written.

  Scarlett lowered the screen of her laptop, her annoyance growing. It hadn’t really occurred to her before that being on this show was going to be such a pain in the ass. And this was only day two! She hoped it would get better, not worse. Or that she’d get used to it.

  No one had answered Professor Cahill’s original question. The classroom was totally silent.

  “Anyone? Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” The professor scanned the students with narrowed eyes.

  Scarlett sighed and raised her hand. Professor Cahill turned to her, beaming. “Yes, Ms.—” He glanced down at the seating chart, as if to find her name. Ummm…yeah, I’m the girl with the crew of fifteen that took over your classroom with stage lighting and cameras. No biggie, you probably just forgot. “Ms. Harp.”

  “Yeah, well, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? is about one unhappily married couple getting tanked and abusive in front of another unhappily married couple,” Scarlett said loudly. “So Albee was saying that marriage basically sucks, and that when it comes right down to it, it’s impossible for people to be kind or even civil to one another.”

  “Yes, yes, that’s right, isn’t it?” Professor Cahill said, nodding. He ran his hand through his nonexistent hair, in the process of smearing his bald head with blue chalk marks. A few students tittered. “With Ms. Harp’s insightful comment in mind, let us turn our attention to the scene on page…”

  Scarlett was barely listening. She closed the page of notes she had been taking. She had read the play twice. She got it. She checked her emails and noticed that she had a new message from Madison, the blond chick from Les Deux the other night. Dana must have given Madison her email. Note to self, change email immediately, she thought.

  TO: JANE ROBERTS, SCARLETT HARP, GABY GARCIA

  FROM: MADISON PARKER

  SUBJECT: GIRLS’ DAY!

  Hey Bitches!! So this Saturday I’m planning a girls’ day for us. We’re all meeting at Kate Somerville (go online to pick the treatment you want), then lunch and blowouts at Warren Tricomi. So fun! Be prepared for a whole day of beauty treatments. Also bring a cute outfit so we can go out after. (Gotta go out and show off our gorgeous new selves, right?) Don’t bother with an RSVP because I’m not taking no for an answer!!

  XOXO,

  Madison

  Jane had already responded: CAN’T WAIT!

  Gaby had responded, too: SO IN! HEY, DOES KATE SUMMERVILLE LET U BRING DOGS?

  Awesome. I guess this means I have to go, too, Scarlett thought. She wondered if Trevor or Dana—or both—had been blind copied on the message.

  After Les Deux, Dana had confirmed that Madison and Gaby were the other two girls on L.A. Candy. Thanks for the heads-up, Scarlett had thought. You could have told us before we walked into the club.

  So who, exactly, were Madison Parker and Gaby Garcia? According to Dana, Trevor had “discovered” them at a posh gym in Hollywood. Madison was a socialite from out East. Gaby worked for some publicist. Scarlett wondered what Trevor’s plan was for the four of them. Were they supposed to become insta-friends? Was this what he meant when he said they should “act natural”? Because hanging out in a spa with girls like Madison and Gaby was most definitely not natural. She and Jane had just met them two days ago. Not to mention Scarlett wasn’t huge on spas—or girls like Madison and Gaby.

  When class finally ended at 10 a.m., Scarlett scooped up her books and laptop and made a beeline for the door. Fortunately, Dana had not scheduled her to be stalked by the cameras after this. If she remembered correctly, they were filming Jane at work next. Scarlett thought it was hilarious that this show that Trevor had guaranteed them was going to be the Next Big Thing basically had one camera crew—she guessed “reality” happened only in scheduled intervals?

  “Charlotte?”

  Scarlett paused in the doorway and looked down the crowded hall. It was Cammy, the blonde she had met the first week of classes. She was hugging her books against her huge, fake chest and waving frantically at Scarlett. Scarlett pretended not to see her and turned the other way. But as she headed in the other direction, she saw that one of the cameras that had been inside the classroom had been repositioned in the hall. Damn. It was blocking her exit strategy.

  “Charlotte!” Cammy cried out again.

  Scarlett reluctantly turned back around. “Hi, Cammy.” She forced a smile.

  “How has school been going for you?” Cammy asked cheerfully.

  “Um, you know.” Scarlett remembered their last encounter ending on a not particularly friendly note. Was Cammy so blond that she’d forgotten?

  Then she noticed Cammy staring past her, over her shoulder. Cammy tucked her hair behind her ears and stepped a few inches to the left. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Cammy was positioning herself to be in line with the camera.

  Scarlett rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m gonna be late for my next class.” She made her way through a cloud of Cammy’s desperation and toward the next camera guy she saw. She pulled her shirt up, revealing her perfectly toned tummy, and ripped the mike off her chest. She then slid the mike pack out of her back pocket and held it out to the camera operator.

  “Can you give this to whoever’s doing sound? I’m late,” Scarlett said as she shoved the pack and tangled wire into his hand.

  “Sure.” He pulled his eye away from the viewfinder and smiled at her. He was cute. He had a folded bandana wrapped around his forehead, holding back a full head of light brown waves. She hadn’t noticed him before. She actually hadn’t paid attention to any of the camera guys. They were always stationed behind their equipment by the time she entered a room. She glanced back over her shoulder at the camera that had been blocking her original path. Another guy in his mid-twenties was standing next to it, talking into a walkie-talkie. He was wearing a faded black T-shirt that showed his chiseled arms. Hmmm, e
ye candy…, she thought as she turned and headed toward her next class. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

  17

  YOU’RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHY I CALLED YOU IN HERE TODAY

  Jane peered at her watch as she rushed out of the elevator, into the world of soft lighting and trickling waterfalls. She had an excuse for being late this time, though. She’d spent most of the morning running errands for Fiona. Plus, the L.A. Candy crew was following her around for the rest of the day. They had intercepted her in the parking lot, miked her, and filmed her getting out of her car and walking to the lobby of the building. Five times. Now they were setting up in the front waiting area of Fiona Chen Events, filming her “arriving for work.”

  She knew the crew had been with Scarlett this morning, at school. She wondered if they were filming Madison and Gaby sometime today too. Maybe they had their own camera crew? Dana hadn’t mentioned that. Dana had said something about Madison being from a rich East Coast family that owned a bunch of hotels. And Gaby worked at an L.A. PR firm called Ruby Slipper. Apparently Gaby had been born and raised in L.A., where her mother and stepfather still lived; her father and stepmother lived somewhere in the Southwest. In any case, Jane liked these girls. They seemed fun. She was looking forward to their spa day on Saturday. In fact, she wished the spa day was today. She was feeling a little stressed, and could use a relaxing facial.

  “Hi, Naomi!” Jane said, waving to the receptionist. She tried to speak at the usual, acceptable low decibel, but she knew that would only guarantee her a text message from Dana to tell her to say it again, a little louder.

  Naomi adjusted her silver headset and peered out at Jane from behind a huge bouquet of white tulips. She glanced self-consciously at the two camera guys zooming in on her. “Hi, Jane. Fiona wants to see you in her office right away,” she whispered.

  Jane felt her blood freeze. Those words were never good. Fiona never called Jane into her office unless she was in trouble. It was always something like, “Jane, the last time I checked, ivory and eggshell weren’t the same color,” or “Jane, is this message from Jeffrey with a J or Geoffrey with a G?” What had she done this time? Either way, she preferred that her humiliating lectures take place in private—just her and Fiona behind closed doors. Guess not today. She frowned at the cameras, which were supposed to be capturing “an average workday.” Well, now, the L.A. Candy viewers are going to see my average butt getting yelled at, Jane thought.

  She sighed and hoisted her bag higher on her shoulders. “Thanks, Naomi,” she said, then started down the hall toward Fiona’s office.

  “Wait! Jane!” A man wearing an earpiece and holding a small monitor rushed up to her. “Hey, I’m Matt. I’m directing today’s shoot.”

  Jane tried to hide her confusion. What did he mean, directing? She thought they were just following her around. What needed to be directed?

  “Hey. Sorry, Naomi said Fiona wants to talk to me.”

  “Yeah, we know. We just need a few minutes to set up cameras,” Matt explained, moving to the side as several crew members passed them, carrying cameras and other equipment.

  “Her office looks beautiful but it’s all white. Makes it hard to shoot. They spent two hours lighting it this morning,” Matt went on.

  “What’s wrong with white?” Jane asked.

  “It just doesn’t look great on camera. Color looks way better.”

  Jane looked down at the summery white lace dress she was wearing. Crap, she thought.

  Jane and Matt proceeded to Fiona’s office and stopped right outside. Jane waited while Matt stood next to her, fussing with buttons on the small monitor in his hand. The screen alternated between shots of Fiona and an empty chair. Jane watched as Fiona sat there, patiently waiting for Jane’s entrance. She looked lovely on the screen.

  “Okay, you can go in now,” Matt instructed Jane as he stepped away from the door.

  Jane knocked lightly before going inside. Fiona looked up from her computer screen. “Good morning, Jane! Please come in and sit down.” She sounded more pleasant than usual. She must enjoy humiliating people, Jane thought.

  As she stepped into Fiona’s office, Jane looked around her. Two metal stands flanked Fiona’s desk, securing large lights. The intensity of the lights was muted by wide sheets of what looked like tracing paper, wrapped around the fixtures and held in place by wooden clothespins. The same kind of paper had been taped over one of the tall windows. The result was an overall softening of the lighting in the room.

  Jane sat down in one of the chairs, set her bag on the floor, and crossed her legs. Her foot began twitching.

  Fiona clasped her hands and leaned forward. “So. Jane. You’re probably wondering why I called you in here today.”

  Jane nodded, her eyes wide.

  “I realize you’ve been here at Fiona Chen Events for only a short time,” Fiona said. “But during that short time, you’ve—”

  —managed to screw up just about everything I’ve asked you to do, Jane finished silently.

  “—handled the pressure very well. I think it’s time for you to move up to the next step. To that end, I would like to offer you a promotion. How would you like to be my full-time assistant?”

  Jane’s jaw dropped. Was she serious? Fiona was offering her…a promotion? To be her assistant? Why would she do that? Fiona’s assistant would never confuse eggshell and ivory.

  “Of course, it will be strictly on a trial basis,” Fiona went on. “Let’s say three months. During those three months, you will work harder than you have ever worked before. At the same time, you will have opportunities that you have never had before. And if you succeed, your future as an event planner in this town will be virtually guaranteed.”

  Fiona leaned back in her seat and stared at Jane, waiting for her answer. All of a sudden, Jane noticed that Fiona was wearing makeup. When had the boss lady started wearing makeup?

  “Well, Jane?” Fiona prompted her.

  The camera zoomed in on Jane. She took a deep breath. Was she ready for this? A real job was better than an internship because it meant she would get paid a little bit more. It also meant that she would get more responsibilities, more respect…more everything.

  “Yes!” Jane said, nodding. “I’d love to. Thank you so much!”

  Fiona smiled. It was not her usual chilly, arctic, I-am-the-boss-lady-and-you-are-my-slave smile but a cordial, friendly smile. It didn’t look entirely natural on her. “Fabulous! Let me show you where you’ll be sitting. Then we can have Human Resources draw up your paperwork.”

  Jane couldn’t believe what had just happened. In a daze of excitement and confusion, she thanked Fiona once more. She was just about to stand when Matt opened the door and popped his head in. “That was great! We just need a wide shot real quick. Give us a quick min to set up,” he said.

  A couple of the crew members rushed into the room. One peeled the thin paper off the far window and another began pulling back the lights. Jane watched as they bustled around her. She noticed Fiona eyeing their sneakers on her immaculate carpets. Her expression made Jane cringe a little. She was surprised Fiona hadn’t made them take off their shoes.

  “Okay,” Matt said, putting a hand on Jane’s shoulder. “So count to ten after I leave the room, then thank her again and walk out the door.”

  “Okay.” Jane nodded as he turned and left the room. She took a breath and looked back up at Fiona, trying not to feel totally overwhelmed by everything that was going on. One, two, three…, she counted mentally.

  Then Fiona did the most surprising thing yet. She leaned in toward Jane and whispered, “You’re doing just fine, dear.” And then she smiled softly, kindly.

  Jane barely had time to react before Fiona’s smile vanished, as though the moment had never happened. Fiona straightened up in her chair and resumed her usual cool, businesslike expression.

  “Jane? You still counting? We’re ready for you!” Jane heard Matt say from behind the closed door.

&n
bsp; Jane opened the bottom drawer of her new desk and tucked her bag inside. She opened the two others, too—each drawer had a different vintage crystal knob—and started planning what would go where. The top drawer would be for pencils, pens, and stationery. The middle drawer would be for energy bars, breath mints, makeup, tampons, and other personal stuff.

  She still couldn’t believe it. She had walked into Fiona’s office expecting to get reprimanded. Instead, she had gotten promoted. And now, she had a desk of her own, in an office across the hall from Fiona’s. It was simple, bare-bones. In fact, Jane was pretty sure it had been a storage room the week before, albeit a large storage room. She leaned her face on her hand as she stared into the Mac on her desk. The screensaver was a black-and-white picture of a Buddha statue. In the monitor, she saw the reflection of one of the camera operators changing angles behind her. She felt bad for him. He was edged up into the corner and had no space to move.

  “Roomy back there?” Jane teased.

  The guy shrugged and laughed a little.

  “Excuse me.”

  Jane spun around. Standing in the doorway was a guy with short, cropped blond hair and blue eyes. He was carrying a big, sleek leather portfolio.

  “Hi,” Jane said, a little startled.

  “Hey, there,” the guy said. “I’m looking for Fiona Chen, but I think I got lost. I have an appointment to show her my portfolio.”

  “Across the hall,” Jane said, pointing. “She actually has someone in there…you may want to wait a minute.”

  “I’m sorry. The girl at the front told me to come straight back.”

  “Oh, no worries. She just pulled someone in there for a sec. Some mix-up with peonies. He’ll be out in a minute…a little less of a man.”

  The guy laughed. “I’m Paolo.”

  “I’m Jane. Are you a model?” Jane asked, pointing at the portfolio in his hand.

  Paolo laughed again. “No, no. I’m a photographer.”