The Traveling Man

  They showered quickly and flopped down on the grass outside, beers in hand. That was two out of my three guys satisfied.

  Kes arrived back shortly after—hot, sweaty and tired.

  He’d already peeled off his leathers and left them in the bike trailer, so he was strolling across the grass in his underwear. I guessed that was normal behavior for all of the guys. Sweat had turned his dark hair jet black, droplets glistening in the setting sun on his chest and back. He looked dark, deadly and delicious.

  “Hey,” he said softly, the shadows darkening his eyes and highlighting his cheekbones. “What did you think?”

  “Amazing, as usual,” I said honestly, kissing his soft lips. “But it scares the crap out of me. I had to watch most of it through my fingers.”

  He laughed lightly. “I’ve done it a thousand times, more. I’m fine.”

  “Doesn’t stop me from worrying,” I said.

  His beautiful lips curved upwards and he kissed me back.

  I ran my hands over his firm ass, and against my hip, I could feel he was getting hard.

  “Hold that thought,” I said, nipping his earlobe. “Dinner is nearly ready and you need to shower.”

  “Hmm, you in my kitchen and food on the table. I think I like this scenario.”

  I swatted his delectable ass with a dish towel as he danced out of reach.

  We ate our meal outside. And even though I thought I’d made enough for two days, there was nothing left at the end. They inhaled the food as if they hadn’t eaten for a week.

  I was definitely going to have to rethink how often I bought groceries.

  I was surprised but pleased when Kes and Zef cleaned up outside, and Tucker rolled up his sleeves and washed the dishes. They were happy to have me cook, but I wasn’t completely taken for granted. Thank God. Because I’d had enough drama in that direction for one day.

  Zef and Tucker stayed up talking and drinking beer, but Kes made it obvious that he was hungry for more than food.

  In the end, he just scooped me up and carried me inside. Then he made sweet, sweet love to me for hours. Then he fucked me hard.

  Perfect end to a not-so-perfect day.

  We got into a rhythm over the next week, not just me and Kes, but with all the other carnies, as well. I made myself useful sparring for 20 minutes or so with Sid if things were a little slow. I started a reading group for the kids, letting them choose the books we read. Adventure stories were popular, so I stocked up in town at one of the thrift stores that had some used paperbacks.

  Several of the parents told me they appreciated my help, and I enjoyed it. Kes was pleased that I was making an effort to fit into the life.

  I did chores, too, but no more than my share, bearing in mind that the guys had rehearsals and maintenance of the ramps and motorcycles to do every day.

  I knew a lot more about the bikes they used now. These were sports bikes, light weight and powerful, with a few adjustments that made them more durable for the hard wear and tear they received during the act. They had frame sliders that protected the fairings from damage when the bikes were sliding, as well as lots of adaptations that the guys had developed. It was definitely a whole new vocabulary, and one with which Kes was far more fluent than me.

  It didn’t make watching the stunts any less frightening, but at least I knew more about the safety precautions. It helped. No, I was lying—it was still utterly terrifying.

  My self-appointed job was keeping everyone fed. My son-of-a-gun stew was a big hit. I even confided to Rhonda that it was 90% vegetables, which she thought was hilarious. Zach and Ollo ate with us most nights, too. Zach had a way of calming everyone down, and Ollo’s quick eyes missed nothing. I picked up a lot about the business end of things from those conversations. I also spent half an hour every evening going through Kes’s fan mail and emails with him. Or I tried to: he had the attention span of a gnat. I wasn’t sure how much of it was an inability to concentrate, or whether it was more that he was reluctant to remind me that reading often defeated him. Probably a bit of both.

  I enjoyed having my makeshift family around me. But I had to do grocery shopping every other day, because there wasn’t much storage space for fresh food, and I needed to keep up with the boys’ huge appetites.

  Keeping up with Kes’s sexual appetite was something else. I swear I lost weight from our athletic love-making.

  But there was a downside to the carnie life. It was the lack of privacy that I found wearing. Communal living was definitely a taste that I wasn’t acquiring as much as I thought I would. It was a noisy, bickering, watchful family that rigorously policed itself, but was unapproachable and wary of outsiders. It seemed even more remarkable to me that Kes had let me in.

  Everyone knew everyone else’s business: and I mean everything. If Kes and I had words before breakfast, which was quite often because I wouldn’t let him get away with being The Man, then I’d have comments about it as I walked around the living quarters an hour later.

  Our sex life seemed to be of great interest to everyone, and I hated that. Other women slyly commented that they’d heard us inside the RV. Well, they couldn’t have heard Kes, because he was never loud, not even when he came. Embarrassingly, it must be my gasps and screams that they were hearing, unless it was the sound of me being thoroughly pounded. Yeah, not at all embarrassing.

  Surprisingly, Zef and Tucker were more circumspect about their comments, certainly around me, but I think Kes came in for his share of ribbing. But what guy cares if everyone knows he’s getting laid … a lot?

  I complained quietly to Zachary one morning when the guys were working on the bikes.

  “I don’t know how you stand it sometimes,” I moaned. “If I sneeze, a hundred people yell ‘Bless you!’.”

  Zach smiled. “It can take some getting used to, but on the whole people mean well.”

  “I know,” I sighed. “Everyone’s been really nice. I just wish they weren’t so vocal about things.”

  Zach frowned. “Not sure I’m understanding you.”

  I sucked my teeth and looked around.

  “I won’t tell anyone, Aimee,” he said, sounding a little hurt.

  “I know that, but…”

  “But what?”

  My cheeks flushed red. “Everyone is always making these little digs about our sex life. It’s so embarrassing. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk to you about this.”

  “Believe me,” he teased, “I’m intrigued. You straight guys are weird.”

  “Shut up!” I laughed. “It just feels like everyone’s talking about me. I know they aren’t, but…”

  “They are,” he said.

  “What?”

  He winked at me.

  “Zach, what!”

  “It’s nothing bad. They’re just not used to anyone being quite so, um, how should I put this … you guys do it a lot. Everyone’s impressed.”

  I thought I was going to faint. “Please tell me you’re joking!”

  He shook his head, grinning. “Come on, Aimee! If it’s not Kes hauling you off to have his wicked way with you, then you’re giving him these scorching looks across the bonfire. Hell, it makes me want to go take a cold shower, which is interesting seeing as you’re a girl and I’m gay.”

  I started to deny it, but what was the point.

  “I’m so embarrassed,” I muttered.

  “Don’t be,” he laughed. “All the guys are jealous. Kes gets laid like clockwork, and his girlfriend is hotter than hell.”

  I gulped. “You think I’m hot? I thought I was, you know, average?”

  Zachary laughed. “No, you’re cute. But somehow, when you and Kes are together, there’s this incredible sexual tension in the air. Hell, it makes everyone horny. I think there’ll be a lot of kids born in about nine months time after this tour.”

  “Oh,” I said faintly.

  Zach grinned at me. “They’re all very grateful to you,” he whispered, hooking my arm through his. “And just so you k
now, you’re not the only one who’s getting lucky every night.”

  My eyes widened at the smug smile on his face.

  “Zach! Who?!”

  “Just someone.”

  “Tell me!”

  “Okay, but we’re keeping it on the down low for now.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “Seriously? After you just got through telling me that my sex life is public discussion topic numero uno?”

  Zachary had the grace to look a little sheepish.

  “I know. In fact, I should thank you. You and Kes have taken the heat off of me. The King of the Carnival and his beautiful bride.” Zach’s smile faded. “I’m cautious because that’s the result of experience over hope, if you know what I mean.”

  I nodded. “I can understand that. So, who’s the lucky guy?”

  Zach’s smile was a thousand megawatts. “His name is Luke, and he was taken on as a roustabout for this season. He’s hot … not as hot as Kes, of course.”

  “Of course not,” I grinned. “Well, I’m really happy for you.”

  “Yeah, it’s just for the summer, but it makes a change to be traveling with someone.” Zachary smiled. “And how about you? Apart from the gossip about your exciting sex life…”

  “Do you want me to say shut up again?”

  Zachary gave me a quick hug. “Seriously, how are things going for you—and Kes?”

  “Good, mostly, I think. It’s been quite a baptism of fire. I mean, all those years when we didn’t see each other, but within a week of meeting up again, we’re living together for all intents and purposes. It’s a little disorientating. In a good way, but it’s going to be awful when it’s over.”

  Zach looked thoughtful.

  “Does it have to be over?”

  “Well, yes,” I laughed sadly. “Unless we want to cripple ourselves financially by commuting from coast to coast on weekends. Or seeing each other three or four times a year for holidays. Long distance relationships don’t work. It just wears you both down. I’d rather we ended on a high.”

  Zach sighed. “It’s none of my business, but I get the impression Kes is hoping that it won’t be the end.”

  I felt tears prick my eyes. “I don’t want it to end either, Zach, but how can we do anything else? Even if I moved to California, he’s traveling all the time. Am I supposed to give up my job, my career, to go and … what? Be his housekeeper?”

  I shook my head.

  “No, I need more than that. And even if I was content to live off of him, what if he got bored of me? I’d be stuck.”

  “He loves you, Aimee,” Zachary chided gently. “More than anything—he loves you.”

  “Maybe. For now. It’s shiny and new, but…”

  “I think you’re wrong, but it’s your life. He told me that he asked you to be his manager.”

  “Oh, come on! I don’t know diddlysquat about any of that! I’d be useless.”

  “I could teach you.”

  I was silent, wondering if what he suggested were possible.

  “Do you know why I got into teaching?” I asked quietly.

  Zach shook his head.

  “To help children like Kes. I know that you’re aware of his issues with reading. He never got a chance to learn past his dyslexia. He doesn’t believe he can be helped, but he can, if he’d just give himself some time. I spent every summer trying to help him and encourage him when we were kids. He’d make a little progress, and then by the next year, we’d be almost back to square one. I decided then that I wanted to know how to help people like him.”

  Zachary was silent, but he wrapped me in a big hug and held me gently.

  “You’ll work it out, Aimee.”

  I wasn’t sure he was right.

  “I’m really sorry about your birthday,” Kes said, as he stood gulping down scalding black coffee.

  My birthday had fallen on a jump day, which meant that everyone had spent the night before taking down the show. The guys had worked solidly packing up the bleachers and ramps, and stowing it all in trailers.

  Now dawn was breaking, and we were about to start the 400 mile drive from Kansas City to Amarillo. I’d caught a couple of hours sleep, so while I drove the RV, Kes was going to take a nap. I’d had a little practice, but I was still nervous about driving such a large vehicle. Zef promised that all I had to do was follow him in the rig. He even agreed he wouldn’t go over 55 the whole way. I was prepared to try.

  “I don’t care about my birthday,” I said to Kes, wrapping my arms around his solid warmth and peering up at him. “Really I don’t. I haven’t celebrated it in years. Well, my friend Mirelle made me go clubbing with her last year, but that’s all.”

  “I didn’t even know you liked dancing,” Kes said bitterly. “It’s fucking unfair that we’ve missed out on so much.”

  I didn’t say anything, because there was nothing to say.

  Kes shook his head, then he reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a small box.

  “What is it?” I asked, startled.

  “Well, here’s the thing: you have to open it to find out,” he teased.

  The box was covered in black velvet, the texture soft and smooth under my fingers as I stroked it lovingly.

  Kes leaned down and whispered in my ear. “It’s just a box—the good stuff is inside.”

  I grinned up at him. “Well, who’d have thought?!”

  When I opened the box, my breath was stolen away.

  Inside, a delicate gold chain lay nestling in black silk, but it was the miniature Ferris wheel with a tiny diamond at the center that brought tears to my eyes.

  I stared at it, and it was several seconds before I could speak.

  “Kes, it’s beautiful! Thank you! I’ve never … it’s gorgeous!”

  “You like it?” he asked anxiously.

  “I love it. I absolutely love it!”

  Kes lifted it from the box and I moved my hair out of the way as he fastened it around me, smiling to myself as he kissed the back of my neck gently.

  “Now, wherever you go, you’ll always have the carnival with you.”

  “Thank you. I love it … and I love you.”

  I hadn’t allowed myself to say those words, hadn’t wanted them out in the open, although they’d been implied every day. I couldn’t hold them in any longer.

  Kes’s arms tightened around me and I turned, taking in his beautiful face, softened now with what surely must be love, even though he couldn’t or wouldn’t say the words back to me.

  Then he kissed me sweetly, his eyes silver in the pale light.

  We held each other for too brief a moment.

  “We have to get going,” he sighed.

  “I know. Zef is trying not to look impatient, but it’s not working.”

  Kes laughed quietly. “Yeah, I see that.” Then he rubbed my arms and looked at me fiercely. “Promise you won’t take it off.”

  His gaze was intimidating, almost angry.

  “I promise,” I whispered.

  He smiled and the tension drained from his body as he straightened up.

  “Just remember to leave plenty of space between you and Zef when you’re driving,” he said in a more normal voice. “When he makes the turn for the truck stop, he’ll swing out to take it. Follow his line and go slow. Okay?”

  He looked a little worried.

  “I’ll be fine. I’m looking forward to it,” I lied. “Try to get some rest, and I’ll wake you when we get to Oklahoma City.”

  He kissed me again, then helped me up into the driver’s seat and made sure my seatbelt was in place. He could be such a gentleman. A complete asshole at other times, but right now, all the boxes were checked.

  I touched my beautiful new necklace as Kes winked at me and waved to Zef.

  When I pushed the button to start the powerful engine, the throaty roar had my nerves twanging. I eased off the handbrake as the RV bumped and shuddered over the ridges and ruts of the carnival field.

  The 24-Hour M
an—the guy who went ahead to post arrows so we could find the right field on arrival—had left as soon as the takedown started the night before, but otherwise we were among the first to leave because putting up the bleachers was a ton of work. The only others ahead of us were the ones who dismantled the Ferris wheel and helter-skelter, and Al the foreman, who turned out to be the scary-looking tattooed guy that I’d met on my first day. I still thought he was scary.

  As I inched through the arch at the exit to the field, I felt a sudden desire to squeeze my eyes shut, but I managed to keep a close eye on the wing mirrors and gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles were white.

  I began to relax a little once we hit the I-35: a nice, wide highway—lots of space. Zef was true to his word, sticking to the limit, and when we had to face the spaghetti loop-road around Emporia before we headed south again, he dropped to a snail’s pace, so at least I felt in control of the RV. That was the most nerve wracking moment. Although the road around Wichita gave me a few anxious moments, the rest of it was pretty easy.

  Finally, we pulled into the Five Star Truck Stop just north of Oklahoma City, and I parked next to Zef, gratefully unclamping my hands from the wheel. I stretched my neck and back to get the cricks out.

  Kes appeared behind me rubbing his eyes and looking deliciously rumpled as he tugged a t-shirt over his head.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Nope, died in a pile-up back in Kansas. This is Heaven.”

  He laughed, his voice still rough from sleep.

  “I’ve got you, got the carnival—works for me.”

  His words gave me a jolt of happiness and a pinch of pain. Was life really so simple for him?

  Kes rested his hands on my shoulders and kissed my hair, his breath minty. But then Zef banged on the door, dark circles prominent beneath his eyes.

  “You look like shit,” laughed Kes, who was annoyingly chipper after his nap.

  Zef gave him the finger and ambled into the diner with Tucker, who’d also managed to get some sleep during the drive.

  We all loaded up on greasy food, then I went to lie down while Kes took over driving.