Wishing For Someday Soon

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure she’s happy for us,” he stated, trying to make me feel better.

  I snorted at his words. “I doubt that,” I said, smiling at how oblivious guys could be at times.

  “Well, it was worth a shot,” he said, shooting me a half smile.

  “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” I teased quietly.

  All further talk was put on hold while we watched the movie. Max kept his arm around me the entire time. Occasionally he would slide his hand up my arm and toy with my hair lightly, twirling it around his finger. His touch was distracting, and half the movie slid by in a mindless blur as I counted down the seconds until we would be alone again.

  “Thank God,” Max said when the movie ended after an action-packed sequence.

  I was relieved that I wasn’t the only one that had been suffering.

  Karen and Maxwell were reading in the living room in front of the fireplace as we all filed past. They stood up to say their goodbyes, giving everyone hugs as we left.

  “You come see us again soon, okay, Katelyn?” Maxwell said, giving me another bear hug.

  “Well, she can’t if you crush the life out of her,” Karen teased him as she gave me a much more delicate hug. “But you must come back soon,” she said, smiling at me warmly.

  “I will,” I said, touched by their easy acceptance of me.

  We called out goodbyes to our crew as we all piled into separate vehicles.

  “Well, that was torture,” Max said, cranking the heat.

  “What was?” I asked with false innocence.

  “Sitting that close to you for two hours after the kiss. It was all I could do not to haul you off for a repeat,” he growled, not buying my innocence.

  “Well, I’m glad it wasn't just me,” I said with more honesty than I normally exhibited.

  We drove silently for a short time until Max abruptly turned down a narrow dirt road before throwing the car into park.

  I looked at him questioningly.

  “When I kiss you good night, I don’t want to be interrupted,” he said, undoing his seatbelt.

  He leaned in, settling his lips on mine again. Heat flared through me as he gently cupped my face.

  After a moment, he slowly pulled back. “Is this okay?” he asked, gazing into my eyes.

  My heart clinched as I considered his words. How had something that was supposed to be casual turn serious so quickly? I pulled away and sat heavily back against the seat. Goodbyes had always been painful, but I also had never gotten this close to anyone before. We had never stayed anywhere longer than six or seven months before Lucinda decided she was ready to move on. No matter how hopeful I was that she would change, it would be naïve to think this time would be any different.

  “Hey, what did I say?” he asked, concern coloring his voice.

  I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.

  Max tugged on my arm, “Katelyn, tell me why you’re so upset,” He pleaded.

  I took a moment to search for the right words before answering him. “It wasn’t supposed to get this serious,” I finally whispered.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I knew if I dated you I needed to keep it casual. I can’t get into a serious relationship.”

  “Why not?” He demanded.

  “Because, we're on borrowed time here, Max. Do you know how many times I’ve moved in the last ten years?” I asked

  He shook his head.

  “Neither do I, I lost count after twenty.”

  His eyes opened wide in disbelief.

  “It’s my mom. She’s always searching for something that never seems to be there,” I said, trying to offer up an explanation.

  “Maybe she found it this time,” he said hopefully.

  I shook my head miserably. “I don’t think what she’s looking for even exists,” I said.

  “We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, but Katelyn, there was no way we were ever going to be casual,” he said, dropping a soft kiss on my lips before gently trailing his lips across my cheek. “Trust me, okay?”

  I nodded, seeing no other way. Hearts would be broken, but I set us on this path and there was no turning back.

  Chapter 8

  Max dropped me off in front of our trailer after promising to call me the next day. I floated up the stairs, still feeling the kisses he had left on my lips. I peeked in on Kevin and took a moment to pull his comforter up around him. I tucked him in snuggly, shivering in the cold that had settled throughout the trailer. I closed his door quietly before heading to my own room. I could see a light through the cracks in Lucinda and Jim’s door, but was too exhausted to check in with them.

  I drifted off to sleep, almost the moment I hit the pillow with images of Max filling my head. The pictures turned to vivid dreams of being locked in his arms while he softly stroked my hair.

  My dream world was shocked back into reality by a blow to the side of the head and someone yelling at me. “Katelyn, are you deaf or just stupid? I’ve been calling your name for twenty minutes!” Lucinda yelled, taking another swipe at me. She struck me in the corner off my right eye, making it tear up immediately. Trying to shake off the confusion, I scooted far back on my bed, trying to get out of reach.

  “I’m sorry. I guess I was out,” I said, trying to apologize. “What did you need?”

  “I needed my goddamn ashtray emptied!” she yelled. “But since you’re a selfish bitch, you decided to sneak in here without taking care of your responsibilities!”

  “I’ll do it now,” I said, attempting to stand up, only to be pushed roughly back.

  “Don’t do me any favors, I wouldn’t want to interrupt your beauty sleep!” she said sarcastically, stomping down the hallway.

  I tried to regain my senses as I cradled my throbbing head in my hands. It was nothing new for Lucinda to wake me up to dump an ashtray or fetch a cup of coffee. Ordinarily, I was a light sleeper and could hear her yelling, but this was the first time I had ever slept through, which explained Lucinda’s rage. She absolutely loathed being ignored.

  I could hear her slamming cabinets in the kitchen and cringed, knowing it was going to be a long night.

  “What’s wrong?” Jim stumbled out, asking her sleepily.

  “Nothing!” she yelled. “I’m just trying to get my ideas on the computer and meanwhile, everyone in this goddamn trailer sleeps like the dead. You with your god-awful snoring that makes concentrating impossible, and Katelyn in her room, blatantly ignoring me. It’s a wonder anything gets done around here,” she said, slamming another cabinet.

  I sat on the edge of my bed, wondering what the right move would be. When Lucinda was this far gone it was hard to read what she wanted. Jim must have reached the same conclusion since I could hear him retreating down the hall like a chicken shit.

  “That’s it, go back to bed!” Lucinda shrieked from the kitchen.

  I stood on spaghetti legs, still feeling the effects of the last blow. Once I felt steady, I left my room and walked quietly down the hall.

  She was standing at the counter smoking a cigarette as she roughly washed the few dishes in the sink with one hand.

  “Mom, I got that,” I said, staying a safe distance away. “I’ll make you a cup of coffee too,” I said, trying to pacify her.

  She whirled around, glaring at me and I braced myself for what might happen next.

  “Fine,” she finally said, sick of the few dishes she had already washed.

  She stomped past me and I breathed a sigh of relief, glad I had made the right choice to get up.

  I dumped the ashtray that started the entire ruckus and put a cup of water in the microwave to boil. I could hear Lucinda’s and Jim’s muffled voices as I approached the bedroom door to return the ashtray. Jim was taking advantage of the opening I had created and was feeding her the words she needed to hear. I stood there for a moment, listening as I was painted as the villain. Jim was such a chump, and he wondered why Kevin and I had nev
er warmed up to him, I thought to myself as I knocked on the door.

  They were both sitting with their backs against the wall smoking when I walked in. Lucinda’s new computer sat on a piece of plywood on the mattress in front of her.

  I handed over the ashtray silently and headed back to the kitchen as the microwave dinged. I stirred in instant coffee, creamer and sugar, just the way she liked it.

  Once Lucinda’s coffee was in her hands, I finished up the kitchen before heading to my room with an ice pack in hand.

  My bed was not empty when I walked in and I wasn’t surprised. Kevin was curled up in a small ball, pressed against the wall. His eyes were open wide as I came in with the ice pack.

  “It’s okay, bud,” I said, climbing into bed beside him. I placed the ice pack to my blazing eye and nearly groaned in agony from the cold against my tender skin. I momentarily looked away, knowing it would only upset Kevin further.

  “I heard her calling. I should have come in to wake you up,” he said, grief stricken.

  “Hey, this is never your fault. You got me?” I asked, reaching over to wipe a stray tear off his cheek.

  “I kept-t-t thinking-g-g any minute-e-e you would get up,” he choked out, sobbing quietly.

  I placed the ice pack on top of the dresser next to me and pulled him into my arms.

  “This is not your fault,” I said fiercely, hating Lucinda for doing this to us. Kevin’s sensitivity was only compounded by her fits of rage.

  Kevin continued to sob for several moments as I rubbed his back to comfort him. Finally, his sobs turned to half-hiccups as he sniffled and dried his eyes against my shirt.

  “Don’t worry, it’s almost like a tissue,” I teased lightly, earning a watery smile.

  “Katelyn, you won’t ever leave me behind with her, right?”

  “No, buddy. I won’t ever leave you alone. How could I? We’re waiting for our someday soon right?” I asked gently.

  “Yep, someday soon it'll just be the two of us,” he agreed.

  I nodded my head. I hadn’t figured out the logistics, but someday, when I was legal, Kevin and I would leave Lucinda behind.

  “Where will we live?” Kevin asked yawning, playing a favorite game of his.

  “Somewhere cold,” I said for the first time ever. My standard answer had always been someplace warm, but a certain dimpled hunk had me thinking the cold had a certain appeal.

  Kevin looked surprised at my answer, but moved on to the next question. “And we’ll never be hungry again?”

  “Nope, our cabinets and fridge will always be filled to the brim.”

  “And we'll never move again?” he said sleepily as his eyes drifted closed.

  “Nope, we’ll never move ever again,” I whispered to him.

  I watched him lying there asleep. No matter how I felt about Max, Kevin would always come first.

  ***

  The next morning, my face was still on fire from Lucinda’s midnight freak out. I winced trying to open my right eye, but to no avail. I sat up quickly in a panic and rushed to the bathroom to inspect the damage. I groaned when I saw my eye resting at half-mast since the skin surrounding it was swollen and comprised of colors ranging from dark navy blue to black. I reached up tentatively to touch the skin and cringed as the pain rocketed throughout my face. This was not my first black eye, but it had been a long time since Lucinda had left a mark where someone could see it. The last time it happened a neighbor had reported it, and we moved the following day. How would I explain this at school on Monday? I ran through several feasible excuses, but came up empty. I looked like I had gotten into a fist fight and lost.

  I spent the day icing my eye, hoping the bruising would miraculously disappear. Lucinda was remorseful about her actions and tried several times to engage me in conversation. Under ordinary circumstances, I would have responded and made her feel better about her actions, but the stress of going to school the next day made it harder to forgive her this time. Kevin spent the majority of the day glued to my side, watching me warily. He had seen me suffer Lucinda’s wrath multiple times over the years, but usually the marks were hidden by my clothes.

  After her attempts with me failed, Lucinda turned her attention to Kevin. She tried to bribe him from my side by offering to let him watch his favorite television program with her in her room. Kevin mumbled some excuse and remained stoically by my side. Lucinda finally stomped down the hall, cursing something about our selfish behavior.

  Kevin looked at me worriedly as her door slammed, making the entire trailer shake.

  “It’s okay, pal, she’s fine,” I said, reaching over to grab his hand to reassure him. “Why don’t we go to my room, we can snuggle, and I'll read you some more from the Harry Potter book you got from school.”

  “Really?” he asked, bouncing up and down on the couch.

  I laughed. “Yeah, really,” I said, enthralled over his enthusiasm for the book his teacher had lent him.

  We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening lost in the world the author had created. “That was the best book ever,” Kevin said as I turned the last page.

  “It was really good,” I agreed. “If your teacher has the second one, bring it home and we'll read that one too,” I said, ruffling his hair as he climbed off my bed. “Night, punk.”

  “Night, Katelyn, I love you.”

  “I love ya too.” I said, shooting him a smile.

  My smile turned to a grimace once he was out of sight. The pain from my eye had given me a ferocious headache several hours ago. I didn’t have the heart to send him away, so I tried to ignore the throbbing pain as best I could. I changed into my pj’s and hit the potty one last time before bed and was disgusted to see my eye looked as angry as it had when I first checked it that morning.

  The next morning, I woke to a frigid room. I pulled my clothes on under the blankets, dreading the moment I would have to leave the little bit of warmth my bed offered. Finally no longer able to prolong it, I climbed from my bed so I could wake Kevin and get him ready before Max arrived to take us to school.

  Max pulled up just as Kevin and I were shrugging into our heavy jackets. We cautiously walked across the frozen ground, slipping and sliding the entire way. I kept my head down, trying to prolong Max seeing my eye.

  Kevin handed Max his iPad as I buckled my seatbelt, keeping my face averted.

  “Did you get to play some games, bud?”

  “Yeah, I’m the king of Angry Birds now,” Kevin bragged.

  “I bet,” Max said. “How are you?” he asked in a husky voice, turning his attention to me.

  “Fine,” I said, finally looking at him.

  He sucked in a gasp as he took in my eye. “What the hell happened?” He asked, reaching over to gently touch the swollen skin.

  “I tripped and hit it on my dresser,” I said, hoping the excuse sounded feasible.

  Max opened his mouth to say something, but looked back at Kevin who was eyeing us anxiously.

  He clamped his mouth closed and drove the rest of the way to school in silence. I could feel the rage radiating from him as he drove. I turned and looked out the window, trying to fight back tears. I was confused by his anger and wondered if he was mad at me for my injury. By the time we pulled into the school parking lot, I yearned to tell Max just to take me home, no longer keen on the idea of facing the other students if this was the reaction I would get. I reached over to open my door, but Max stopped me by gently grasping my hand.

  “Kevin, why don’t you head to class, I need to ask your sister a question about a homework assignment,” Max lied believably.

  “Okay, bye, Katelyn.”

  “Bye bud,” I said in a voice thick with unshed tears.

  “What happened?” Max asked once Kevin closed the door.

  I started to repeat my lie, but I could see he knew the truth.

  “My mom,” I said simply, watching Kevin’s retreating backside.

  “Why?” he asked, trying to get a handle on w
hat my crime had been.

  “I slept through her calling me.”

  “What the hell could she have possibly needed that would warrant this?”

  “To empty her ashtray,” I whispered, ashamed that he now knew all my secrets.

  “She beat the shit out of you because you didn’t empty her ashtray?” he asked incredulously, gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.

  “She only hit me twice,” I said, trying to defend her half-heartedly.

  “Because you wouldn’t empty her ashtray,” he repeated disgustedly.

  I couldn’t blame his disgust. We were white trash. The marks on my face were a glaring reminder of how different the world I lived in was to the one he lived in.

  “Yeah,” I said looking down, wishing I was anywhere else. “Um, I’m sure this changes things for us, so we don’t have to go to the dance together,” I said, reaching for the door handle.

  “Katelyn, what are you talking about?” he asked, grabbing onto my arm to once again stall my departure.

  Anger welled up in me. “Look at me. Do you really want to date someone like me? I’m giving you an out!” I said in a rush as the anger that had briefly filled me dissipated, leaving despair in its place.

  “Katelyn, I don’t want an out,” he said quietly, cupping my face so I was forced to look at him.

  “You don’t?” I asked in a voice shaky with emotion.

  “No,” he said, leaning in to brush a kiss across my lips. “But she can’t do this to you,” he said after our lips parted.

  “There’s nothing we can do,” I said miserably.

  “Yes, there is. I’m going to have my parents report her,” he said with conviction.

  My blood froze at his words. “You can’t,” I said earnestly, grabbing onto his hand.

  “Katelyn, you don’t have to fear her. By the time she finds out, they'll have a new place for you to live.”

  “Yes, but without Kevin! You can’t report her because they will separate Kevin and me,” I said forcibly, trying to get him to understand.

  “You don’t know that,” he said, sounding uncertain.