Wild Heart

  “Your turn,” Mrs. Miller trilled, her voice reminding him of the shrill cry of a monkey.

  Ella gave the woman a tight smile and stepped forward.

  Mrs. Miller let out a burst of laughter. “Oh, no, that’s not how you hold the mallet.”

  Ella stood by like the dutiful student while the woman showed her the proper way. Stiff and obviously uncomfortable, Ella still managed to hit the ball.

  “Hmm, well, it will have to do,” the woman replied and floated away, taking with her the strong scent of her flowery perfume.

  Leo took the opportunity to step close to Ella. “How does it feel?” he whispered against her ear. She jumped and spun around to face him. Merda, if his thoughts didn’t turn to her mouth, so close…

  “Excuse me?”

  “To be ridiculed, told what to do. How does it feel?”

  “I have never ridiculed you.”

  “Maybe not, but you’ve certainly judged me.” He brushed past her, following the group although he wanted to do nothing more than continue to bait her. He knew she approached even before he saw her. The scent of dew and rose mingled in the air. He breathed deeply. Heat raced through his veins, and he cursed his body’s betrayal.

  “Your turn, Leo,” his grandfather called out.

  Without thought, Leo swung his mallet. The ball whacked against an arch, bounced back and nearly hit the vicar in the ankle. The man yelped and jumped out of the way just in time.

  Mrs. Miller studied him under the brim of her ridiculously large hat. “A bit softer next time, perhaps.”

  Ella caught his gaze, and smirked.

  “Your turn once again, Ella,” his grandfather called out.

  Ella leaned over, preparing. Did she realize she wiggled her bottom invitingly while she drew back her mallet? As if sensing his thoughts, she looked over her shoulder and glared at him. He quirked a brow, and she turned back around. His gaze slid to the vicar to see the man tug at his collar as he stared directly at Ella’s backside. Leo’s hands curled at his sides, and he resisted the urge to slam his fist into the man’s holy face.

  Ella whacked the ball, sending it flying into the brush. “Oh my, well, you must all carry on with out me. Who knows when I’ll find it?” With a grin upon her face, she practically skipped away.

  The group meandered forward, but Leo remained rooted in place, his gaze pinned on Ella. Smart girl, she’d been planning her escape all along. Unable to resist, he went after her.

  At his approach, she looked up and narrowed her eyes. “What?”

  “My, my, aren’t we in a wretched mood?”

  “Only when in your presence.”

  He pressed his hand to his heart. “You wound me, really.”

  She ignored him and brushed aside the flowers with her mallet, peering at the ground.

  He plucked a daisy from its stem and held it out for her. She ignored his offering. “Should I beg for your forgiveness?” he mocked.

  “You’re not being sincere. And besides, I’m not the one you need forgiveness from.”

  “Really, whom then?”

  She turned to face him. “Your grandfather, that’s whom. He tries so hard, can’t you see that?”

  Any amusement fled. “I owe him nothing.”

  “He’s your grandfather.”

  “He left me to rot in the jungle!” He hadn’t meant to admit the truth, but in all honesty, it felt good to say the words. They’d weighed down on his soul since he’d been old enough to realize that no one had come looking for him, nor would.

  Her face softened. Damn it all, her sympathy sliced through him like a knife. He turned away from her, pretending interest in the guests.

  “I’m sure he searched for you, Leo; I’m sure he did.”

  He didn’t respond. How could he possibly explain how terrified he’d been, a child alone in the jungle for years? Every day waking up and expecting his family to arrive. But no one ever came. Ever.

  “Leo,” she rested her fingers on his sleeve. Her touch was as light as the yellow butterfly flittering around her as if she were a bloom it needed to feast upon. “How long were you alone in the jungle?”

  “I was never alone. Akshay was with me,” he said the words, feeling almost numb.

  “Just you two?”

  He nodded.

  She moved closer to him, the heat of her body seeping into his like a comforting caress. “For how long?”

  “Not long.”

  She stared up at him, her eyes shining. Merda, would she cry? Anger welled within him, so much better than the numbness he felt. He clung to that anger. How dare she cry? He didn’t want her sympathy.

  “Yes, stuck in the jungle, two boys alone, and not once did anyone come for us. I know because I stayed by our campsite, night after night, with my parents’ rotting bodies, hoping, waiting until finally I was forced to bury them.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes and shimmered on her lashes. He had the odd feeling she wanted to hug him. He stepped back, afraid he’d allow her tender touch, and then what? He’d caress her back and they’d live happily ever after?

  “Leo, if you talk to your grandfather, I’m sure you’ll discover that he did search for you.”

  “He didn’t,” he whispered furiously. Why wouldn’t she believe him? Because no one believed him, did they? Why should she?

  Her brows furrowed. “Surely…surely he did.”

  “He didn’t.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”

  “Well, jolly for you,” he snapped. “You know nothing about me. You know nothing about my family. Do not come here with your high morals and propriety and judge me.”

  “And you know nothing about me,” she cried.

  “Ella, did you find the ball?” Lord Roberts called out.

  She pasted a smile upon her face. “Yes, my lord, just here.” She drew her mallet back.

  “Well done, Ella,” Leo said softly. “Replace your perfect façade for the crowd.”

  Her jaw clenched, and she whacked the ball. Like an arrow toward a bull’s-eye, it went flying through the air directly at the group. Ella gasped, and Leo watched, the day becoming immeasurably better. The ball skimmed the top of the Mrs. Miller’s large purple hat. The bizarre bonnet toppled off the woman’s head and landed in the fountain behind her. Apparently finding it the opportune time to escape, her small dog jumped from her arms and raced around the garden, barking at nothing and everything.

  “Oh, no,” Ella whispered and stepped behind him. Leo threw back his head and laughed.

  “Hush,” Ella demanded slapping him on the back. It only made him laugh harder. She peeked around his shoulder. “Oh my, Mr. Miller is attempting to retrieve the bonnet.” The small group had gathered around the fountain and divided their time between throwing horrified glances at Mr. Miller, wobbling precariously on the fountain edge, and Ella, who still hid behind Leo.

  “It is no use, Ella. They all know it was you.”

  “If you were a gentleman, you would take the blame,” she said.

  He grinned, amazed that one moment he could be furious with the governess and the next he was laughing until his gut hurt. He hadn’t laughed so hard since he was a child. “For once, no one is looking at me like an animal, and I plan to savor the moment.”

  “You would.” She stepped beside him and tilted her chin in the air, as if prepared to take her punishment.

  “I doubt they’ll hang you.”

  “You’re not acquainted with English society.” Her hand went to her mouth and her eyes grew wide. “Oh, no.”

  He followed her gaze to see Mr. Miller teetering on the edge of the fountain. The man’s rotund belly stuck out, and his arms wavered back and forth like a pinwheel. The women gasped while the vicar rushed forward in a vain attempt to grab the man’s hand.

  He missed.

  Mr. Miller fell back, sending droplets of water into the air.

  Leo burst out laughing.

  “Shush,” Ella hissed
, her eyes wide and her face flushed. “They’ll think you don’t care.”

  “I don’t care. Every single one of them has been whispering behind their hands since I arrived. I can only imagine what they’ve said about me.”

  “So then show them who you really are!”

  His amusement faded. Didn’t she understand? How could he make it any clearer? He would never fit in here, no matter how cultured he became. “I told you, this is me.”

  “Leo, Ella,” Lord Roberts huffed as he came racing toward them.

  Ella spun around to face the man.

  “Perhaps, perhaps you’d like to go for a walk.”

  There was a moment of awkward silence. But it didn’t matter; it was too late. His grandfather had shown the truth in that simple statement. A truth that still stung, although he’d never admit it to anyone.

  “There you have it, Ella,” Leo said softly, as his grandfather darted a worried glance at the group. “As I said, it doesn’t matter how I act or what I do; my family will always think of me as an embarrassment.”

  He walked away.

  “Oh, Ella, I didn’t mean it,” he heard his grandfather say. “It was just that Leo was laughing so and…”

  Leo made it out of the garden and onto the path that led to the woods. He didn’t want to hear any more words, any more excuses. How many times would it happen? How many times would he slowly adjust to think fondly of the house and the old man, only to have that fondness turn to regret in an instant? Even worse than the fact that he embarrassed his grandfather was the obvious fact that Ella thought he should change too. Why did he care what the woman thought? Because he was sure he saw in her a person who might understand. The thump of feet hitting dirt and the breathless pant of a woman coming up behind him broke through his morose thoughts.

  “Leo! Leo, wait.”

  “Go back, Ella.”

  “I can’t,” she said, coming up beside him. “I told your grandfather I’d find you.”

  “Well you found me.”

  “Leo, please, you can’t just run off—”

  “Yes, actually, I can.”

  She sighed, shaking her head. “You have to talk to me, explain why you are here….” Her voice trailed off and she stilled.

  “What?” he asked, too curious to help himself.

  “Did you hear that?”

  His brows drew together and his gaze slid from her to the surrounding area. Birds darted through the foliage, butterflies flitted from flower to flower, but nothing else moved.

  She peered down a path that led into the shadowed woods. When she started forward he reached out and stopped her. “Where are you—”

  “Shhh!” she whispered furiously. Jerking away from his grasp, she hiked up her skirt and continued toward the trees.

  He should ignore her; he should continue on his way. So why then did he follow?

  She stilled at the opening of the woods and peered into the dark trees.

  “There.” She pointed ahead.

  The brush moved, leaves rattling.

  She rushed forward.

  “Ella, wait.” But she was gone before he could latch onto her hand. With a sigh, he followed.

  He spotted her kneeling on the dirt, peering into the brush. “A fawn,” she whispered. “Shhh, darling, it’s all right now.”

  He knelt beside her. “What happened?”

  “She’s stuck in the thorns.” Gingerly, she reached out and latched onto a vine. “Ouch.” She pulled back, a spot of blood marring her fingertip.

  “Here.” He pulled up his trouser, revealing a long dagger sheathed to his leg. When he reached forward, the deer jumped.

  Ella shifted closer to the animal. “Shh, easy, girl; we only want to help.” Surprisingly, the animal obeyed. Its wide brown eyes were murky in the dim light, its breathing ragged.

  Slowly, Leo hacked at the vines. Ella dragged them away and even used a handkerchief to swipe the sweat from his brow. He lifted the knife, the blade glistening in the sunlight that pierced the forest canopy above.

  “Kill it Leo,” Akshay pleaded, his eyes huge in his thin face.

  Leo shook his head. “It’s injured…it’s looking at me so innocent, so helpless.”

  Akshay clutched his arm, his grasp weak. “I’m starving, you’re starving. We’ve eaten nothing but berries for four days.”

  He knew his friend was right. They needed the meat to stay strong, to survive.

  Leo swallowed hard and lifted his knife, the blade glinting in the setting sun.

  “Leo?” Ella’s soft voice penetrated his mind. “We can reach her now. We don’t need the knife.”

  He stumbled back. Dear God, would the memories ever leave him in peace?

  Ella gently pulled the small fawn from the brush. Scratches marred the animal’s fur coat, bright red against the soft brown. Ella smoothed her hand over its flanks, whispering words that calmed. The small animal nudged her face with its nose, and Ella laughed, a sound that made his heart clench.

  “Go now,” she whispered. “You’ll be fine.”

  The fawn swished its small tail and then pranced away, disappearing into the shadows of the forest. Ella stood and swiped her hands on her skirt. She seemed perfectly at ease here, in these woods, as if she belonged to nature.

  “How did you hear it?”

  Her smile fell. “What?”

  “How did you hear the fawn?”

  “She was calling out—”

  “I didn’t hear a thing.”

  She shrugged and started out of the woods. “Maybe you weren’t listening hard enough. Maybe you are too obsessed with your own problems to be aware of the world around you.”

  She stepped out into the sunlight, leaving him in the shadows. “Maybe you aren’t the only one who is different.” With those words hanging in the air, she left him.

  Chapter 8

  Ella stared into her polished fork, her features pulled into a distorted monster that begged to be released from its imprisonment. Disgusted, she set the utensil on her plate. The movement produced an unnatural clatter that rang through the large room. Her face heated, and she dared a glance at Lord Roberts. Fortunately, he ate his meal as if he hadn’t noticed the noise.

  Resisting the urge to sigh, she glanced at the open doors. She felt very much like a child out of place. The meal was far richer than she was used to. She should be ecstatic to be included, so why was she anything but thrilled? Because he had ruined her appetite.

  “I fear he isn’t coming,” Lord Roberts said from the end of the table, as if reading her thoughts.

  She wanted to reassure the man that Leo would arrive, but she didn’t have the heart. Instead, she settled a piece of beef into her mouth and tried to appreciate the burst of herbs and spices, but to no avail. Her mind remained focused on Leo. Where was he? What was more important than a good meal with your only grandfather?

  Had she frightened him off because of yesterday’s incident with the fawn? It wouldn’t be the first time she’d scared someone because of her powers. Really though, she couldn’t imagine anyone frightening Leo. She drew her fork through the rich, brown sauce, nudging a piece of beef around the plate.

  “I have it on high authority it is not good manners to play with your food.”

  The familiar voice wrapped around Ella’s heart and squeezed. Leo stood in the doorway looking devastatingly handsome. Flustered at his sudden appearance, she wondered why she hadn’t sensed him.

  His long locks were pulled back with a leather strap, his black jacket smooth and fitted across his broad shoulders. On the outside, he looked appropriate, like he belonged. But it was something more that made him stand out, as if any moment he could attack. He was a wild animal contained. Dangerous, mysterious, and devastatingly attractive. He bowed, and her eyes narrowed. What was his game?

  Lord Roberts stood, his face beaming. “Leo, don’t you look dapper. Doesn’t he look handsome, Ella?”

  Ella forced a smile. “Yes, very.”
r />   Leo’s eyes sparkled as if he recognized her unease and found it immensely amusing. Smoothly, he moved across the room, and she tried not to stare. Tried not to notice the way his muscles bunched under his jacket, the way the candlelight played against the chiseled planes of his face. Instead of sitting where he belonged, he lowered himself into the chair directly across from her. With an elegant flick of his wrist, he placed his napkin on his lap.

  Grinning broadly, Lord Roberts nodded to the nearby footman, and a plate was placed in front of his grandson. Even under Leo’s polite façade, there was that all too familiar gleam in his eyes. Ella frowned, and her worry escalated. If he ruined this lovely moment for his grandfather she’d…well, do something Lady Buckley would definitely not approve of.

  Leo caught her stare and lifted a brow. She tilted her chin, feigning indifference, not wanting him to know her heart raced in his presence. But his lips quirked anyway. Dear God, could he read her feelings as she could read his? Was he playing with her as a cat would with a mouse?

  Quickly, before Leo said something inappropriate, Ella burst out with, “Croquet is very interesting.”

  Lord Roberts set his wineglass down and nodded. “Ah, yes, came from Ireland, I believe.”

  They fell into an awkward silence.

  Ella plucked at her sleeve. “I hope Mrs. Miller’s hat wasn’t ruined.”

  “Oh, dear Lord, that monstrosity? I hope it was,” Lord Roberts replied with a rich chuckle. Even Leo smiled, and Ella finally was able to relax.

  “She isn’t too angry?” Ella asked.

  Lord Roberts waved his hand through the air. “She’ll recover.”

  The old man’s gaze slid to Leo, as if he wanted to make conversation with his grandson but didn’t quite know what to say. Like a restless child, Lord Roberts shifted on his seat. Ella bit her lip to keep from smiling and attempted to think of a topic of conversation both men would enjoy. Not the weather and most certainly not India.

  “Your gardens are lovely,” she tried.

  Lord Roberts sighed and smiled. “Ah, yes. My wife worked very hard to contain them. They were wild and unruly when we married and moved here.”