With the Band

  KITT

  SUNDAY, MAY 17

  MADRID, SPAIN

  Texas looks like she's been crying. I want to hold her and fix whatever made her upset, but Mark is here at the venue too. He's distracted because Enigma is opening in ten. I don't know how I'm going to wait that long.

  "You good, man?" Coop asks, slapping me on the back.

  I look between him and Tex, making sure she's okay. "Yeah, I'm fine."

  "You don't look it. If you want the night off, I can handle vocals."

  Now, he has my full attention. I laugh and thump his arm. "Good one."

  "You know I'm a better singer."

  "Yeah, you're really not, Coop, but thanks for the laugh." I turn back, and Tex is gone. "Where is she?"

  "Where is who?"

  "Texas."

  Coop points. "That way, so pisser or one of the dressing rooms. Why? What's wrong?"

  "Nothing. Just needed to talk to her about something. Be back in a minute."

  Coop nods, and I follow the direction Texas wandered off in.

  A few people stop me to fucking talk, but I quickly brush them off and find Tex in my dressing room.

  I close the door, leaving us alone. "What's wrong?"

  She spins around and drops her phone. Her eyes dart to the mobile.

  "What?" I ask. I notice the redness surrounding her eyes and the way she's looking at her phone, like it's eaten all of her chocolate.

  She bends down and swipes the phone. "Nothing. I just forgot something."

  "You didn't bring anything." I step closer. "Want to show me what made you cry?"

  "I haven't been crying."

  "Texas. Phone."

  Looking away, she thrusts the phone in my direction. "Open Safari."

  I don't like this, but I do what she said. Images of me and a girl pop up.

  For fuck's sake. "Texas, this isn't recent."

  She turns back.

  "Fine, it's recent but before you."

  "I know that."

  "Then, what's the problem?" I close down the page and hand the phone back.

  "Nothing is the problem. I'm not stupid. I know your past."

  "Then, you cried because..."

  "I didn't full-on cry, dickhead. I'm fine, and we're fine, so give me a minute, and I'll be back out there."

  I grab her hand and pull her closer. "I'm not going anywhere. You've got more talking to do, sweetheart."

  She wants to be angry, but not even Tex can be that unreasonable.

  She sighs in annoyance. "I don't blame you, but seeing you with other girls has always hurt, even more so now. I guess I wasn't prepared for that. I'll be all right, and I'll deal with it, like I did before, I promise. Want to give me that minute now?"

  I shake my head and trace my hand down her cheek. She's soft, and she feels like forever.

  "I don't want to leave you alone, so you don't have a choice."

  She steps back, and her eyes narrow. My arm falls away, and I know we're about to have an argument.

  "Yes, I do. You're not my fucking dad, Kitt."

  Here we go.

  "How am I a bastard for not wanting to leave my girlfriend when she's hurting?"

  "Because I'm asking you to. Why are you being difficult?"

  I laugh because...fuck.

  "You think I'm being difficult? Texas, you have it down to an art form."

  She folds her arms. "You need to leave."

  "This is my dressing room."

  "Fine, I'll leave." She pushes past me, her eyes firing bullets into my head.

  Why the fuck did you ever think having a girlfriend would be a good idea?

  Of all the things that could bring me to my knees--drugs, alcohol, fame--it's one infuriating little girl who turns out to be my kryptonite.

  Well, fuck her.

  If she wants to be unreasonable, that's fine.

  I ball my fists at the burning sensation in my gut.

  What the hell is wrong with her? I'm trying to fix this and make her feel better, and she's pushing me away. I can't help my past, and it doesn't bother me--I was single and young and in a band--but I can't help her because she clearly has an issue with my sleeping around.

  I want to fucking throw something.

  Calm down. You're soon going onstage.

  "What did you do?" Milo's voice makes me jump. He's standing by the door, holding it open.

  Twisting my head, I growl, "Why do you think it's my fault? She's crazy, man."

  He laughs. "Love often is."

  "I made a mistake."

  "No, you didn't, and you know it. Don't ever let her hear you say that because you'll never be able to take it back."

  Shoving my hands through my hair, I let my shoulders sag. "I don't have the first clue what I'm doing here."

  Milo leans against the wall. "You're not the only person to feel like they're navigating a minefield. Some relationships are complicated and hard, but that doesn't mean they can't work. I let Lexi walk away. Things got messy when the band started to travel, and the more of a name we made for ourselves, the more she slipped away from me. I think I did the right thing because I would've only held her back. If you let Texas go, it will be the biggest mistake of your life--or the second. That little ninja tattoo is horrendous."

  "Oh, fuck off, mate. Just because you're a pussy and can't handle a needle..."

  Milo rolls his eyes. "I don't need any work."

  "You're a dick."

  "You ready to sing your little ninja heart out?"

  "You ready for me to beat you with your drumsticks?"

  Coop bursts through the open door. "What are you two wankers doing? Your mother's meeting over? Enigma is killin' it, and we need to get ready to smash it out of the park." He nods his head and walks back toward the stage.

  Milo and I follow him.

  "Coop, what would it take to get you to settle down with a woman?" Milo asks.

  Throwing his head back, he holds his stomach and laughs. "Fuck. Nice one." Shoving Milo's head, he adds, "Angelina Jolie. That's it."

  I roll my eyes. He'll never change.

  "She ain't ever gonna look at you, dude. Give it up," I say.

  "I'm way handsomer than Brad."

  "You wish," I say, knocking him into the wall.

  He retaliates and thumps my arm. It hurts, but hell would freeze over before I showed it.

  "I love you two arseholes, you know that?" he says.

  "I'm not doing a group hug," I warn.

  Milo slaps my chest. "I'm with this guy."

  "Let's do this," I say when it's time to go on. I can't wait.

  Time to forget Texas for a while.

  I take off, running down the steps, like they're on fire. Running my hand through my damp hair, I growl. That was horrific. Our fans deserved more.

  Two people try to approach me, but I put my hand up, and they soon back off. I'm not in the mood. I need to get out of here.

  "Dude, wait up!" Cooper shouts. "What's going on?"

  "I bombed. That's what's going on!" I snap.

  "Whoa. Look, man, we might know that wasn't the best, but the audience lapped it up. They fucking loved us."

  Yeah, shame there's only one person I need to love me right now, and she's not here. Because I pushed her away.

  "What was that out there?" Milo asks.

  Coop puts his arm out to stop Milo from getting any closer.

  "What? I'm just wondering what the hell is going on. I thought you were cool. Are you sick, mate?" Milo asks.

  "Something like that," I reply.

  "Why didn't you say so? If you're not well enough to perform..."

  I cut him a look. If I broke my leg halfway through a set, I'd strap it up and carry on until we were done.

  You don't let your fans down. Period.

  Maybe it wasn't a bad performance, but I wasn't on top of my game, and that's not okay by me.

  "All right, I get it," Milo mutters, backing down.

  "Look, let's
get back to the hotel. Don't sweat it, bro. We rocked."

  Who would've thought Coop could be so...normal?

  His usual advice is to shag or drink any troubles away. I can drink it, but I can't shag it because I don't think Tex will be in the mood.

  Right now, I could really do with losing myself in my girl.

  I nod to Hank, who is standing within earshot, and then I turn to the boys. "Come on."

  We have a couple of things to do before we can leave, like always, but I'm not up for any sort of party or anything where I have to be around people. I'm not good company right now, and the only company I want comes in a bottle.

  When we get back to the hotel, Texas is sitting at the bar with her dad and Jimmy.

  "What are you guys having?" Milo asks, assuming that I'm down with drinking there.

  "If you're buying, I'm having beer and a couple whiskeys," Cooper says, slapping Milo on the back before heading to the table.

  "Yeah, I think I'm going to hit the sack," I say.

  Milo frowns. "Really? Maybe you should see a doctor. You're rarely ill, and even when you are, you still join the party."

  It's not a doctor that I need. It's the girl sitting far too close to me for my sanity.

  How do you deal with this?

  I don't know if I should go over to her or not.

  One thing I know is, I can't be around her when we're not okay.

  "I will if I still feel like shit tomorrow," I say to pacify him. "Night, man."

  He nods his head, and I walk away.

  I can't sit around a table with her. Breathing the same air as her drives me insane. How I'll make it through to the end of the tour, I'll never know.

  TEXAS

  MONDAY, MAY 18

  LISBON, PORTUGAL

  We're back on the bus, and Kitt has barely looked at me once. I admit, I didn't handle the photo situation or our argument well, but he brings out emotions in me so strong that I can't control it. I hate arguing with him.

  We're around the table, and he's focusing far too hard on his conversation with Milo. Coop is keeping me busy, listing all the women he wants to have sex with. It's gross, but at least I'm not focused on Kitt.

  Well, I am.

  Damn it.

  We've arrived in Lisbon, and we are ten minutes from the hotel. I know that because I've been religiously questioning the drivers. I need to get off this bus. The atmosphere is tense although no one else has seemed to notice but me and Kitt.

  He laughs, and the sound grates on my skin. How is he laughing when things aren't okay with us?

  I grit my teeth and nod to Cooper.

  You can do this. Soon, you'll be in the hotel, and you won't have to see him.

  We'll work it out because we have to, but I'm too pissed off, and he's too...him to deal with it this second.

  When the bus pulls up, I'm the first one off--almost. Ted rushes past me and gives me a stern look. I raise my hands. He's right. I can't risk my safety just because I want to get out of here.

  We get checked in, and we're shown to our rooms. Like usual, I'm in a massive suite I don't need.

  I lie down and curl up. My heart is heavy, and everything feels wrong. This is the start of our relationship, and it's not how it should be. The night we made love, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. It was perfect, just the way it should be. The contrast between then and now is crazy.

  Just as I get comfortable on my bed because I don't intend on moving for a long time, someone knocks on my door. The guys are all out, so I have no idea who it could be. Maybe Ted, but he doesn't usually bother me unless there's a security issue.

  I get up and pad across the thick pile carpet to the door.

  "Surprise," Peyton says, throwing her arms up the second I open the door. "Missed me?"

  "Um..." Wow. Okay, I'm in shock. "Yeah, of course. But, huh? Aren't you supposed to be here tomorrow?"

  "Yes, but surprise!" Pushing past me, she heads into my room and looks around. "Nice. The label really does spring for the best suites."

  Coop got the president. I think he's planning on having a lot of parties up there--and by parties, I mean, orgies. I'm not going anywhere near it.

  "So, talk to me about Kitt. I want to hear, in detail, everything that's happened. Then, we're going to get you dressed--I love you, but you look like shit--and we're going out."

  "I don't want to go out."

  "I didn't ask if you wanted to. I'm telling you we're going."

  This is why she's my best friend.

  "Come on then. What's going on?" she says.

  Groaning, I walk back over to the bed. I've not had nearly enough alcohol for this conversation. "Ugh, things were perfect--like, perfect. Then, we had an argument yesterday, and the drive here was awkward. I miss him, Pey."

  "Talk to him then."

  "He's avoiding me."

  "Like you're avoiding him?"

  I glare. "Piss off."

  Her light-blue eyes smile. "You know I'm right. Talk to him, Tex. You'll feel better when you do."

  "I hate it when you're right, bitch."

  She purses her perfect rose-pink lips and tilts her head. "Is my pep talk over?"

  "Did it start?"

  Shrugging, she puts her hands on her tiny hips. "So, maybe I'm not the best at advice, but I can get you good and drunk like a bloody pro. Go change, Tex, because we're going drinking."

  "Can't we stay here and drink?"

  "Absolutely not. You might be that pathetic right now, but I'm not."

  "You're all heart," I mutter sarcastically. "Fine, I'll get changed. No makeup, and I couldn't give a shit about my hair."

  "Your hair always looks good, and you don't need makeup. But you do need to be in something other than ripped shorts and a Filthy Sound T-shirt."

  I'm so fucking tragic.

  "Don't judge. It's comfortable."

  She holds her manicured hands up. "I don't think you're a loser, not at all."

  "You're a horrible friend."

  "You love me. Go change, and wear something sexy."

  "Why?"

  "Because I said." She shoos me with her hands.

  "Oh my God, I'm going. I don't like the new more assertive Peyton, by the way." I leave her to it and go to get changed.

  "Hurry up, Texas!" she shouts through my bedroom door as I close it.

  I open my bag and take a quick look. Peyton said sexy, but I'm not looking to score, so I opt for my leather shorts and a white T-shirt that I tuck into them. I slip on a pair of black ankle boots, and I'm done.

  It's not like I need to dress up. My name gets me into pretty much anywhere I want. I step back out of the room, and Peyton is just slipping on a thigh-length navy dress. Her lips are now Coca-Cola red. She's got sexy down.

  She looks up, and her eyes hone in on my outfit. "See? This is why I hate you. How do you make a simple outfit look hot?"

  I peek down at myself and give her a what-the-fuck look. That's really not what's happening here. And I'm cool with that. I'll never be super girlie or look like a real proper, sophisticated grown-up. I am who I am, and that won't change.

  "Pey, if Cooper ever saw you in that dress, he'd never leave you alone."

  She rolls her eyes. "Is it wrong I hope that happens?"

  "What? Wait, you want..."

  Hello, Twilight Zone.

  "No! I mean, I'm sure a night with him would be out of this world, but I think I'd pay for it in the sense that he would never let me forget or live it down. But the man is undeniably gorgeous, and he oozes multiple orgasms."

  I lift my eyebrow. Has she been abducted? "Peyton Best, is this something you want to find out?"

  She scoffs. "No. Come on, let's get out of here."

  I grab my phone and debit card, and we head to Ted's suite. He'll insist on taking someone else, too, since Peyton will be with me, but I don't really care who comes along. I never notice them anyway.

  Peyton links my arm as we walk into the club. Ted an
d Marco, another addition to the security team, are right with us. Peyton has a harder time with security being so close. She always has. When we went out as kids, she would be hyperaware that we weren't alone, so she'd filter everything she said.

  "Oops," Peyton says, nodding to the bar.

  My face drops, but my heart soars. Great. Kitt and Cooper are here.

  "My bad. I should've checked where they were first."

  "Whatever," I say, shaking my head. "Just get me drunk--like, right now."

  She claps her hands together. "Yay. To the bar!"

  Linking my arm with hers, I can't help but laugh. She's such a perky glitter-and-rainbows person that it's impossible to be sad around her for long. Peyton is exactly what I need right now, and it's times like these when I realise how much I've missed her.

  "When are you moving back home, Pey?"

  "I have another year in production, and then I'll be back." She smiles brightly, and her gunmetal-blue eyes light up.

  I know she gets homesick sometimes, but acting is what she was born to do.

  We head to the bar. Kitt and Coop still haven't seen us. They're at the other end, sitting at a table. Cooper is his usual enthusiastic self, and my moody boyfriend is very moody. He's nursing a whiskey and sulking.

  "You're staring," Peyton sings.

  I look away. "Sorry." I can't help it.

  Doesn't help that Kitt looks incredible in a simple blood-red T-shirt. His hair is messy, and although he's smiling, it's not real. We have that in common.

  "If you want to make up with him, go and talk to him."

  "I don't know what to say."

  "How about you start with, Sorry? Or offer him a blowie."

  "Yeah. How about you get me a drink first? Then, I'll figure out how to handle this."

  She salutes. "Your wish..."

  KITT

  MONDAY, MAY 18

  LISBON, PORTUGAL

  Fuck.

  Texas is here. And, somehow, a day early, so is Peyton.

  Seeing Texas in those shorts and messy hair is torture. I ache to touch her.

  They make their way over to our table. Milo is off dancing with a couple of girls, and Cooper's earlier hanger-on has fucked off with someone else because he wasn't giving her enough attention. He won't be interested now that Peyton is here anyway.

  Peyton smiles. "Hello, boys."

  Coop holds his hand up. "Men, darlin', and I can prove it."

  She rolls her blue eyes. "I'm good. Thanks."

  "Yeah, maybe that's the problem. I can help you be real bad."

  Tex turns her nose up, but Peyton continues to argue with him. My girl takes the seat next to me and places her hands on the table. I want to reach for one.