Trolled
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BRUCE COVILLE
THE ENCHANTED FILES
Cursed
Hatched
Trolled
Aliens Ate My Homework
Always October
The Dragonslayers
The Ghost in the Third Row
Goblins in the Castle
I Left My Sneakers in Dimension X
Into the Land of the Unicorns
I Was a Sixth Grade Alien
Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher
The Monsters of Morley Manor
The Monster’s Ring
My Teacher Is an Alien
The Prince of Butterflies
AND DOZENS MORE!
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Text copyright © 2017 by Bruce Coville
Cover art copyright © 2017 by Andrew Bannecker
Interior illustrations copyright © 2017 by Paul Kidby
All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
Random House and the colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Coville, Bruce, author. | Kidby, Paul, illustrator.
Title: Trolled / Bruce Coville; illustrations by Paul Kidby.
Description: First Edition. | New York : Random House, [2017] | Series: The enchanted files | Summary: Ned Thump is a seven-foot troll who is made fun of for his love of words so he escapes from the Enchanted Realm to the human world and secretly becomes a night watchman at Grand Central Terminal.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016015194 | ISBN 978-0-385-39259-4 (hardcover) |
ISBN 978-0-385-39260-0 (hardcover library binding) | ISBN 978-0-385-39261-7 (ebook)
Subjects: | CYAC: Trolls—Fiction. | Adventure and adventurers—Fiction. | Magic—Fiction. | Secrets—Fiction. | Humorous stories.
Classification: LCC PZ7.C8344 Tr 2017 | DDC [Fic]—dc23
Ebook ISBN 9780385392617
Random House Children’s Books supports the First Amendment and celebrates the right to read.
v4.1
a
For my faithful assistant,
Michael Ruffo
Contents
Cover
Other Books by Bruce Coville
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
What You Should Know Before We Start
The Terrible Defiance of the Trolls!
Tuesday, Sept. 6
So, about the next two pages
Cody Takala’s Permanent Record
Cody here
Encyclopedia Enchantica
Night Security Division Grand Central Terminal
Thursday, Sept. 8
Jean Sibelius School for the Arts: Sept. 9
Saturday, Sept. 10
Trolls and Light
Monday, Sept. 12
Writing Prompt
F. L. Atul
Thursday, Sept. 15
My Most Embarrassing Moment
Saturday, Sept. 17
Sunday, Sept. 18
From: Cody Takala’s Biography Notebook
Tuesday, Sept. 20
Biography Project, Assignment One
Thursday, Sept. 22
About Troll Mountain
Jean Sibelius School for the Arts: Friday, Sept. 23
Saturday, Sept. 24
Text messages between Alexandra Carhart and Cody Takala
Sunday, Sept. 25
Sept. 26
Tuesday, Sept. 27
Rules for Troll Poetry
Oh, Cruel World!
Biography Project Notebook: 9/28
Thursday, Sept. 29
Biography Project Notebook: 9/30
Saturday, Oct. 1
Cody’s Life Log: 10/2
Thursday, Oct. 6
Text messages between Alex Carhart and Cody Takala
Biography Project Notebook: 10/6
Cody’s Life Log: 10/8
Saturday, Oct. 8
Cody’s Life Log: 10/8 (night)
A Note on the Nature of Magic
Sunday, Oct. 9
Text message from Cody Takala to Raimo Takala
Cody’s Life Log: 10/15
Text messages between Alex Carhart and Cody Takala
Text messages between Cody Takala and Raimo Takala
Cody’s Life Log: 10/16
Cody’s Life Log: 10/17
Tuesday, Oct. 18
Cody’s Life Log: 10/18
The Tale of Nettie Thump
Wednesday, Oct. 19
Cody’s Life Log: 10/19
Letter from Great-Granny Aino, received Wednesday, 10/19
From the Journal of Harald Takala
Need Help!
Re: Need Help!
Text messages between Cody Takala and Raimo Takala
About That Prince
The Curse of Hekthema
Text messages between Cody Takala and Alex Carhart
Text message from Alex Carhart to Cody Takala
Cody’s Life Log: 10/24
Tuesday, Oct. 25
Cody’s Life Log: 10/25
Dear Cody
Cody’s Life Log: 10/25 (late)
Wednesday, Oct. 26
Oct. 26
Wednesday, Oct. 26
Cody’s Life Log: 10/26
Instructions for Use
This cauldron is mine as Bride Gift
Cody’s Life Log: 10/26 (continued)
Cody’s Life Log: 10/27 (evening)
Cody’s Life Log: 10/28 (late)
From the Private Diary of Aspen Markonnis
Friday, Oct. 28
Cody’s Life Log: 10/28 (continued)
Packing List
Cody’s Life Log: 10/29
Nettie, written afterward
Cody’s Life Log: 10/30
Nettie, afterward (continued)
Why it is Nicely Warm in Troll Mountain
Nettie, afterward (continued)
Cody’s Life Log: 10/30 (continued)
Nettie, afterward (continued)
Cody’s Life Log: 10/30 (continued)
The Prophecy of the Mountain’s Heart
Prophecy of the Mountain’s Heart
Nettie, afterward (continued)
From the Notebooks of Raimo Takala
Cody’s Life Log: 10/30 (continued)
Nettie, afterward (continued)
Cody’s Life Log: 10/30 (continued)
Nettie, afterward (continued)
Cody’s Life Log: 10/30 (continued)
Nettie, afterward (continued)
The Fate of the Prince
Nettie, afterward (continued)
Unpublished manuscript in the collection of Raimo Takala
Nettie, afterward (continued)
Text messages between Raimo Takala and Cody Takala
Text messages between Alex Carhart and Cody Takala
Thank You!
Second Autobiography
About the Author
About the Illustrator
What You Should Know Before We Start
I think I should explain how what you’re about to read came to be.
The main reason for my pages is that my sixth-grade teacher, Mr. Liebe, had this wacky idea that our class should spend the year writing biographies. He said it would be a great way to learn ab
out the world, pick up some history, and better understand our families.
I thought it was pretty goofy, but holy heckenlooper, did I learn a lot about my family! Way more than I expected, in fact…and some of it pretty disturbing. I think I can say with certainty that we Takalas peg the needle on the weird-o-meter into the red zone in a way no one else in the class got near.
Anyway, because of Mr. Liebe’s “Biography Project,” I wrote a lot of what’s here while it was happening. When things got really crazy, I kept writing—not for the project, just so I could keep track of the weirdness!
But what you’ll find here is not entirely from me. I’ve mixed in a lot of stuff from other places…most especially from the diary of a certain N. Thump.
It took me a while to get some of the stranger stuff, which is the main reason it’s taken me most of the year to finish this manuscript.
Now that it’s done, I hope you’ll enjoy it.
As for me, I’m just glad I survived!
No, that’s not fair. Terrifying as this experience was at some points (and it was!), in the end I did more than survive.
I got something great out of it.
Actually, a lot of things, now that I think of it…most of them having to do with my family.
Oh, one more thing!
Given what’s about to come, we should probably start with something from the world of the trolls.
Yeah, that’s right.
Trolls.
Buckle your seat belt—we’re about to take a wild and bumpy ride!
—Cody Takala
1. Humans speak of rules and strictures.
As trolls, we say “PBLPBLPBL” with all our tongues, no matter how many we have, flapping wildly above our chins!
2. The humans speak of laws and regulations.
As trolls, we turn our backsides in order to unleash a mighty chorus of unified farts, as only seems appropriate.
3. The humans speak of honor and nobility.
Considering that this comes from HUMANS, this causes us trolls to fall upon our backs and roll about, laughing until our stomachs hurt! Honor? Nobility? HUMANS?
Our bellies cannot contain our mirth!
We are trolls! And we think all humans should go sit upon the pinecone of their choice!
Permanent Resolution adopted at the Great Haudglazzim of 1541, recited (with sound effects) at every major troll gathering thereafter.
Tuesday, Sept. 6
My name is Ned Thump.
At least, that is what I am called these days, in this place.
It’s close enough to my real name, I guess.
I am six feet eleven inches tall, weigh 345 pounds, and have a nose the size of a dill pickle.
My teeth are scraggly and of several different shapes.
Even so, I can pass for human.
At least, I can in New York City, where people are used to all sorts of strangeness. I may be one of the strangest the city has to offer, but being strange is so common here that people rarely give me a second look.
Well, maybe a second look, but almost never a third one.
Even so, on the rare nights when I am out and about in the upper world, I know I will hear rude comments about my looks.
I try not to let them bother me. After all, I’m not supposed to be good-looking by human standards. In fact, my size and face are two of the reasons I work as a night watchman, a job that lets me spend most of my time alone in the dark.
Which is fine with me.
So why start a diary now, in my one hundred and ninety-eighth year?
The answer is simple: I am lonely. And since I am stranded in the human world, the most likely candidate for someone to have a sensible conversation with is…me!
Actually, that would be true even if I were still in the Enchanted Realm, curse its rules and regulations. Generally speaking, my fellow trolls are not that interested in chitchat.
So, about the next two pages.
Because of all the trouble I had with my fifth-grade teacher, my mom was worried about what might happen in sixth grade. So in July she went charging into the school to get a look at my permanent record.
She told me she wanted to “head things off at the pass.” (Whatever that means.)
Later I sorta, well…sorta found these and, um…sorta copied them.
Okay, let’s not talk about that.
Mostly this seems like a good place to put them in, because this year I discovered there is actually a reason (a really weird one) that I’m good with animals and have a tendency to “sky.”
—Cody
CODY TAKALA’S PERMANENT RECORD
Teacher Summary Comments, Grades 1–5
* * *
First Grade: Cody is a bright and eager student. It is a pleasure to have him in class, despite his occasional tendency to, shall we say, invent things. He is particularly good with our class rabbit, Bugs, who early on picked Cody as his favorite student. This created some jealousy among the other children, but I thought it spoke well of who Cody is. I believe animals are good judges of character.
—Ruth Hobek
Second Grade: Cody has two outstanding traits. The first is his impressive imagination, which does sometimes get him into trouble when he lets it run away with him. The second is his gift for working with animals. Our classroom gerbils seemed to adore him. Overall, he is a pleasant boy, and whoever gets him next year will be happy to have him as a student.
—Patty Parsons
Third Grade: Cody is obviously an intelligent child. However, his imagination is completely out of control and you cannot trust anything he tells you. I hope to goodness someone will clamp down on this before he gets himself into serious trouble! Also, he has been in a few fights this year when teased about his nickname, Rosie. (I have not been successful in finding out where the nickname came from.) Other than that, he is a pleasant enough boy.
—Irma Crisp
Fourth Grade: Cody has consistently delighted me with his creativity and storytelling skills. His writing has improved greatly from the beginning of the year, when he seemed reluctant, almost afraid, to give full rein to his imagination. Also, his care and tenderness with our classroom pets were extraordinary to witness. He is a gem, and any teacher will be lucky to have him as a student.
—Michael Denny
Fifth Grade: It would be hard to express the depths of my frustration with Cody. It seems he cannot go a single day without fabricating some wild story that has no root in reality. Though I had looked forward to having him in my room, his performance has gone steadily downhill throughout the year. He has been an enormous disappointment to me.
—Martin Savage
Cody here. After Mom got these, she found out something really cool about Mr. Liebe. He told her he doesn’t look at the comments from previous teachers until he’s had his class for at least two months. He said he prefers to form his own impression of the kids and that “prejudice” comes from “prejudging,” which he tries to avoid.
TROLLS
Trolls are, without a doubt, the Enchanted Realm’s most difficult beings to describe. The reason is simple: whereas an elf is an elf is an elf, and unicorns are instantly recognizable, trolls come in a dizzying array of sizes and shapes, and even in numbers of heads.
Single-headed trolls are becoming more common.
And that doesn’t begin to address the matter of whether such related groups as the hulder-folk and the tonttus fall under the broader term “troll.”
This variety of forms is especially odd when you consider what a relatively small area (that part of northern Europe known as Scandinavia) the trolls occupy.
Some scholars believe that the first true trolls were descendants of the jotuns, those mighty giants who were in constant conflict with the Norse gods. This theory holds that at some point the creatures changed radically.
Despite being on a single body, two heads may look completely different!
While there is no agreement on what would have prompted
this, a handful of researchers suggest that the transformation was a reaction to the arrival of Christianity in the Northern Realms. They argue that the relatively swift change in the habits and beliefs of the humans provoked a crisis in trolldom. A handful even maintain that this change is ongoing.
That idea is, of course, wildly controversial.
Yet there is no denying the strange connection between humans and trolls. Whatever the reason for the enormous variety in which trolls appear, the fact of that variety is enough to busy even the hardest-working scholar for a lifetime.
Gertrud Albusmiss
Elfen Princess and Troll Specialist
University Enchantica
Paris Branch
Sept. 7
ANNUAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION:
Ned Thump
As I have stated every year since I first took over this office, Ned Thump is an exceptional employee. He is honest, loyal, and completely reliable. In my years here he has never missed a night of work. He always arrives on time and never leaves early.
More significantly, Ned’s remarkable size (he’s HUGE!), combined with his astonishing speed and his uncanny ability to move in the dark, makes him a superb night watchman. Few troublemakers are brave enough to challenge him, and the ones who do are amazed when this enormous man catches them so quickly.
As I am required to suggest areas for improvement, I will note that some of Ned’s fellow workers are bothered by the way he sticks to himself and does not interact with them. I have asked Ned to try being more of a team player, but I understand that he is a loner by nature and finds this difficult.
I have also found that Ned can be resistant to change. He very much likes things—such as the order of his rounds—to stay as they are. However, he accepts orders without complaint, even when it is obvious that he is not happy about them.
In summary: Though Ned’s size and unusual appearance can be disconcerting, it should be obvious that they are also highly useful for this particular job. I wish I had a dozen more like him!
Peter Takala
Supervisor, Night Division
Security Department
PERFORMANCE CHART: