Behind Blue Eyes: The Good The Bad & The Blood

  Mia kissed him. “I love you, Grandpa.” She turned and walked rigidly away.

  John was soon surrounded by a large group of mourners. But ignoring them, he took out his phone and dialed. “Peter, I’m worried about Mia. I don’t know what she will do left on her own. Will you check in on her after your shift?”

  ***

  Mia sat in the dark, twirling the angel pendant around in her hand, the grisly scene of her mother’s death playing over and over in her head. She’d registered someone banging on the door and the phone had been going off and on for the last hour. She ignored it until she heard Peter’s voice calling her. And she opened the door.

  “Mia, I was so worried about you. I’ve called half a dozen times.” Concern all over his face.

  “I wanted to be alone. But I do need to speak with you about something, so come in.”

  Peter was shocked by her appearance. He couldn’t get the time off work for the full funeral as most of the police officers had placed their request ahead of him. All he had managed was the service but then he was straight back on duty. He had not had the chance to speak to Mia. And although he had tried to get her attention, there were just too many people around her.

  He hadn’t been able to convince her to see him since she came home the previous week. She ignored the front door and her phone had been switched off; now he saw she’d also been ignoring the need for food and sleep.

  “Have you eaten anything today?”

  Mia tensed. The last thing she needed right now was to have an argument regarding food.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “Mia, you must eat. I know it’s hard, but you need to keep your strength up.”

  She ignored his comments and said without preamble, “I want you to have this house.” She was still very fond of Peter and she planned on never coming back. Peter lived in a tiny rented apartment and this house would be perfect for him.

  “What are you talking about? I don’t want your house.”

  “I can’t stay here, not with Mom gone. This place…this town, well, there is nothing left for me except bad memories.”

  “What about your grandfather? Where are you going?”

  They argued for a little while, but he could not get her to change her mind. She was adamant in pushing him and everyone else away.

  She did not have enough energy or the patience for any more talk. “I need to be alone.”

  “Can we talk about this tomorrow? I have the day off.”

  Mia nodded. Peter gave her a hug and left. He was still worried about her, but he would leave her alone tonight. Tomorrow, maybe she would see some sense.

  He arrived at Mia’s door at nine o’clock the next morning to find a note pinned there. She had left in the middle of the night. The keys to the house were under the plant pot, and she promised she would be in touch soon.

  ***

  Mia sat in her car across the road from Archaic Wonders. She watched for about an hour to ensure Cain was not there. The last thing she wanted was to bump into him.

  The shop was very high-class and nothing like the antique shops at home. There were brightly lit chandeliers hanging above the most beautiful dark wooden furniture. The walls were off-white and the floor was highly polished light oak. If it had been any other time, a lifetime ago, she would have been able to appreciate the fine art that adorned the walls and the exquisite statues and furniture that lined the floors. She walked over to the older gentleman who stood behind the counter.

  “Good morning, Miss. How can I help you?”

  “Is Mr Sutton about, please?” She knew the answer.

  “No, I’m sorry. He’s not here at the moment. May I help you? I’m George, the manager.”

  Mia handed the gentleman an envelope, which she had marked Private and Confidential FAO Cain Sutton. She asked him if he would give the letter to Mr Sutton on his return. George agreed and watched the young lady leave, wondering what it was that seemed to trouble her so, wishing he could help.

  George called Cain and told him about the envelope.

  Cain was at the shop within the hour, and when he opened the envelope his heart sank. There was the angel pendant along with a small note. All it said was Goodbye. Cain didn’t know what to do, what to think or feel. He had never imagined that it would be for good, that she really never wanted him as part of her life again. What was he going to do now? He had watched her at the funeral, he had listened when she told Peter she was leaving, and he had not been too concerned as he could still feel her presence. While she was wearing the pendant he would always be able to find her, but now? Now she would be lost to him.

  His life seemed utterly pointless. He would never be happy again. He may as well return to his old self, the one that cared about nothing and no one, never giving humans a second thought. He remembered his mother begging him to stop killing…. He shook his head to rid himself of the thought.

  Chapter 38

  After driving for two days, grabbing the odd hour of sleep when she could, Mia made her way to New York. She had not driven there intentionally. She had just driven without thinking about where she was going. She parked up and looked at the time. It was around five in the evening. She called her old friend, Jenny, who was thrilled to hear from her and let out a squeal when Mia told her where she was, only three blocks away from her apartment.

  Jenny invited Mia to stay for however long she needed. She had heard about Jess and completely understood that Mia never wanted to set foot in her hometown again.

  As Mia walked up the steps to Jenny’s apartment, Jenny came running out. Mia hardly recognized her. The last time she had seen Jenny, she had been a very curvy, fake-tanned, pretty girl, but now Jenny looked like she didn’t even weigh 100 lbs. She was a skeleton, her face pale and thin, and her hair looked like it hadn’t seen a hairdresser in years.

  Seeing the look on Mia’s face Jenny explained that nobody who’s anybody is fat in New York.

  Mia was too tired and numb to comment.

  Jenny ran Mia a bath, and Mia soaked in it for a while. When she returned to the living room, Jenny had assembled some bread and cheese for them (the only food she had), and had opened a bottle of wine. Jenny just nibbled on the bread and cheese, but once Mia had started eating, she realized she was more than hungry after not eating for the past three days. She was ravenous. After the wine was done, Jenny went out and bought two more bottles.

  Jenny did her best to keep the chat on light girl-talk subjects and catching up with the latest news from her own life. She told Mia she had dropped out of college and worked in a bar, and that she now wanted to be an actress. She lived in the apartment with Lee, her boyfriend of seven months. Lee had been arrested for DUI and was given twenty-eight days in prison; he would be home in eight days. Halfway through the second bottle, Jenny lit up a joint.

  “When did you become a drug addict?” Mia asked, sounding a little colder than she had meant to.

  “Oh, chill out, Miss Goody Two Shoes, this isn’t addictive. It just chills you out, makes you forget your troubles, you know, relaxes you.” Jenny offered Mia the joint and she took it. Almost immediately, her head started to spin. The next thing she knew she was on her knees in the bathroom being sick.

  Jenny was a little concerned. “That happens to some people the first time, because you don’t normally smoke. It’s the tobacco and alcohol more than the marijuana. It doesn’t last long.”

  Mia could not look at her. All she wanted to do now was sleep.

  The next morning, she felt like she had been run over by a truck, everything hurt and her head was about to explode.

  Jenny was sitting on the couch with a can of beer. “A little rough this morning?”

  “A little. Think I’m going to be sick again.”

  Jenny threw her a beer. “Here, it helps.”

  Mia took a sharp breath. “You’ve got to be kidding me! It’s eight o’clock in the morning.”

  “If you want to fight that hangover, it
’s the best cure. You don’t have to get drunk. Just a couple of beers and it will sort you out. I promise.” She winked and gave Mia a big cheesy grin.

  Mia opened the can of beer, and halfway through it, she was feeling a little better. The two of them continued drinking until lunchtime. Jenny went to bed for a quick nap as she was starting her shift at three in the afternoon. Mia decided it was probably a good idea to rest as well.

  When Jenny got in from work at midnight, she and Mia sat drinking until two in the morning. It was the same routine for the next few days until it was time for Lee to be released from prison. Jenny had the next week off work and told Mia that she could still stay at the apartment. Lee was cool and he would not mind one bit.

  Jenny had arranged a welcome home party and all their friends would be there. Mia wasn’t sure about staying. She offered to get a hotel for a few days and let them be alone, but Jenny wouldn’t hear of it.

  ***

  Jenny came rushing into the crowded apartment. “Okay, guys, he’s just arriving.” She grabbed hold of Mia. “Can someone get the lights?” The room was suddenly encased in darkness.

  When Lee walked into the room the lights were switched back on and everyone shouted Surprise! Mia noticed his smile reached his dark eyes, which in her book was a sign of a nice, genuine kind of guy. His wild jet-black hair was in stark contrast to his pale skin.

  Jenny was holding Mia’s hand, waiting for her reaction. Mia grinned at her. “You got your own Johnny Depp, in a weird Edward Scissorhand kind of way.”

  Jenny was so excited. “Isn’t he gorgeous? Come on, time to meet him.” She started making her way across the room with Mia in tow.

  Mia relaxed as Lee and Jenny looked at each other, their love radiating from them.

  “Lee, this is Mia.” Jenny gestured from one to the other.

  Lee grabbed Mia in a bear hug, the breath nearly knocked out of her. She laughed.

  “You have some competition, Jenny. What a pretty little thing she is.” He winked at Jenny and she slapped him playfully on the arm.

  Mia blushed. Lee let go of her and slid his arms around Jenny’s waist. He tenderly kissed her on the lips. Mia grabbed a beer and made her way out of the room. Taz and Billy used to mess around like that. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about Taz.

  She wasn’t in the mood for a party. She was still numb from everything that had happened, so spent most of the night in her room until Jenny came and dragged her out. A couple of hours later Mia was still keeping very much to herself when Justin, Lee’s cousin, offered her a joint. This time she wasn’t sick, and soon she felt as if she had no troubles. She was happy. She felt she could fly.

  What’s this?” she asked as she leaned back on the couch.

  “Banano.”

  “Is that a kind of marijuana?”

  Justin laughed. “Yeah, kind of.”

  He seemed nice. He was good-looking with his tanned skin, blond hair, and Hollywood white smile.

  She didn’t remember much of the party the next morning, but she didn’t feel as bad as she had that first morning after drinking and smoking drugs. She asked Jenny what a Banano was.

  Jenny explained it was marijuana laced with cocaine.

  Lee warned her it was bad shit, and said he was going to have a word with his cousin about giving it to her.

  ***

  Justin and Mia eventually became an item and, six months after moving to New York, they signed up for an apartment together. The day they moved in Mia had to work and when she arrived home Justin had prepared a romantic meal, with a couple of bottles of wine. She was happy until he lit up a joint. He held the joint out to her. “Here, Babe. Want a drag?”

  “No. What is it you’re smoking?”

  “Banano.” He watched her face drop. “Oh, chill out! We’re celebrating.”

  But her expression was dark. “I don’t want you to smoke that crap. I thought you’d given it up.”

  Justin laughed. “Well, you thought wrong.”

  Later Mia started to clear away the dishes. She was trying to do something to keep herself busy and not think about what he was doing. She glanced sideways just as he took a long drag on the joint. She was horrified when his eyes rolled way back. He slowly let the smoke out and closed his eyes.

  She was still staring at him when he eventually opened his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me you still smoke that stuff?”

  His expression turned in an instant from total relaxation to black thunder. “For Christ’s sake!” He stabbed the joint out and hurled the ashtray across the room.

  Mia froze as the ashtray hit the wall right beside her.

  “Happy now? I’m going to bed.”

  Her heart was pounding and her hands trembled. She took a couple of deep breaths and sat down unsteadily. Had she made a mistake? Did she move in with him too quickly? She thought she knew him, but now she didn’t think she knew him at all.

  She looked up when he walked back into the room. For a moment he stared at her. She turned away. Then he walked over and knelt down in front of her. He took hold of her hand.

  “I’m sorry, Babe. It’s the stress of moving. It’s been a long day. I promise I won’t lose my temper with you again.”

  Mia looked at him, her face emotionless. “I was really scared. I thought you were going to hit me.”

  Justin reached up and pulled her face to his. “I would never hurt you, never.” He kissed her passionately on the lips. “Don’t ever think like that, okay?”

  Mia tried to smile. “I know. I’m sorry too.”

  “Come on, let’s go to bed. It’s our first night in our new home.” He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

  She laughed as he stood up and started pulling her toward the bedroom. “You have a one track mind.”

  ***

  In had been four months since Mia and Justin had moved in together. During those four months, she watched Justin slowly deteriorating. His mood swings were unpredictable and extreme, and his eating habits were erratic. He barely left the apartment unless he was going to work, or for more beer. She told herself he needed her, she was scared of what he would become if she left, if she didn’t try and help him.

  One day she came home from work and Justin was watching TV, surrounded by beer cans and an overflowing ashtray.

  “How come you’re not at work?” she asked casually, and grabbed one of his beers.

  “Don’t have a job any more,” he said flatly.

  “You got sacked?” Her voice came out a little higher than she meant.

  Justin slammed his can down on the coffee table. “You think it’s my fault?”

  She jumped.

  “Of course, you do! You always take everybody else’s side.” He picked up his beer.

  “I never said it was your fault.” She took a mouthful of beer as he glared at her. “We’re already two months behind on the rent. If we miss another payment we’ll get chucked out.” Her hands shook as she took another swig. “I’ll see if I can get more shifts.”

  He lit up a cigarette. “Why don’t you just get money out of your boyfriend’s account?” He blew the smoke in her face.

  Mia coughed and grimaced. “You know that’s not my money. I’ll never use one cent of it.” Justin flicked the cigarette at Mia. “What the hell, Justin.” She picked the glowing cigarette up off the floor and stubbed it out.

  Justin grabbed her by the hair, twisting it in his fingers.

  “Stop it! You’re hurting me.” She fought to keep the tears at bay.

  “Are you still in love with him? Are you still sleeping with him?”

  “What? No!” Her throat was dry, her breathing heavy, tears teetering on the edge of her lashes. She wiped them away. “I never slept with him, ever. I swear.”

  Justin let go of her hair, his face inches from hers, his eyes boring into her, not blinking. His voice was monotone. “Why do you always put everyone else before me?”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to.”
She couldn’t stop the tears.

  Her tears snapped him out of his mood. He bent down and lifted her up to her feet. “Don’t cry. I didn’t mean it. Please don’t cry.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Why do you always do this to me? I love you so much. I can’t bear the thought of you with someone else.”

  She bit back the words that swelled at the back of her throat, afraid to set him off again. Instead she brought her hands to her mouth, but she couldn't steady them. It’s just the stress of everything. God, he’s just lost his job and I’m giving him a hard time.

  “I don’t know why. I’m sorry too.”

  Chapter 39

  When Mia’s alarm clock went off, she dragged herself out of bed and wandered into the living room. Justin was sitting on the couch, a handful of pills and a glass of water beside him.

  Her eyebrows furrowed together. “What are they for?”

  He looked at the pills. His hands trembled as he reached for the water. “You’re going to leave me.” His swollen, red eyes stared at Mia. “I can’t live without you. I love you so much. I may as well end it now.”

  She held her breath. She gently took hold of his arm and lowered it for him to put the glass down. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  His eyes were wide and he made several attempts to speak, but no words came out of his twitching lips. He placed his palm on her face and stuttered, “Promise?”

  Mia placed her hand on his. “Promise.”

  “You’re not seeing someone else?”

  “Why would I even look at anyone else when I have such a hot boyfriend right here?”

  This had become a regular scene. For weeks Mia had felt she was walking on eggshells, and she couldn’t see any prospect of change in the months to come. Justin would occasionally fly off the handle, but he soon calmed down. She just had to either keep quiet or agree with him.

  ***

  It had been a long day at work, her feet hurt and she just needed to sit down and relax. As Mia arrived home and walked into the living room, the first thing that hit her was the smell, she sighed as she saw Justin smoking a joint.

  “You’re late. You should have been home thirty minutes ago.”