9781618857613SacredWaterMichaels

  “Whoa, what’s up with you?”

  “Out of my fuckin’ way, Kelly,” he growled, and Kelly would have normally let him take his brooding arse elsewhere, but this was not the typical bad mood Colin had adopted since summer. This was something serious. He grabbed Colin’s arm and jerked him to a stop.

  His brother smacked his grip away and pushed him. “I said back off!”

  “Whoa, Col, it’s me. What’s going on?”

  Colin’s shoulders began to quake as he pulled in a hard breath. When he looked back at Kelly his eyes transformed from angry pits of deceit to broken windows of his soul. His mouth trembled and pressed together, but it was not enough to hold back his tears. For the first time in his life, Kelly saw his older brother fall apart.

  “She lied to me,” he rasped and Kelly did the only thing he could think of and pulled Colin into his arms.

  “Hey, hey, hey. Who lied to you?” He squeezed him fiercely as his brother struggled to stifle and swallow his building sobs.

  “Sammy.”

  Kelly pulled back and looked Colin in the eye. “Sammy’s here? Since when?”

  Colin, apparently gaining control over his emotions once more, roughly swiped at his red eyes and stepped back, putting distance between them. “She just got here. She came with Braydon.”

  “Well, that’s great!”

  It was stupid for Colin to continue playing the martyr. So what if he didn’t become a priest? He was still a model Catholic. He didn’t understand why his brother insisted on torturing himself for the past months. Kelly knew why he couldn’t make his vows. What he didn’t know was why Colin had yet to go collect Sammy and make her a McCullough. It was like he’d given himself penance.

  “It’s not great. She fucking lied. All this time she could have come back here and she didn’t.”

  “Uh, not to sound like a dick, but you could’ve just as easily gone to her and you didn’t. So aren’t you guilty of the same thing?”

  “I’m not carrying her child!”

  “Whoa… What? Sammy’s pregnant?”

  “Yes! And she looks about ready to pop and figured just now maybe she should share this news with me. And according to Bray, she didn’t even want to do that. He had to beg her to come here and do what was right. What I had every damn right to know nine fucking months ago!”

  “Okay, settle down,” Kelly said, trying to digest all of this. “First of all, she probably didn’t find out about the baby until she was a couple of months late. By then she may have already assumed you had taken your vows. She may have been trying to protect you the best she knew how. Second, I sure as hell hope you didn’t hit her with a barrage of accusations when she told you. You know Sammy. She doesn’t have a deceitful bone in her body. This has probably been more than stressful on her. And thirdly, mazel tov! You get to be a father after all, just not the kind you thought you were gonna be.”

  Colin didn’t quite look like he was ready to bust out the cigars yet. He looked pale and terrified.

  “I’m not even sure what I said to her. I was just so shocked, but I know I wasn’t nice.” He shamefully bowed his head and whispered, “She was crying and I walked away from her.”

  This time Kelly pushed him. Colin tripped backward, not expecting the blow. “What the fuck is wrong with you, man? She came all the way here to tell you in person and you fucking yelled at her? Jesus, I know you’ve been in a shitty mood since she left, but that’s not her fault. It’s yours, you fucking dope!”

  Kelly rubbed his cold hands angrily over his face. “Where is she?”

  “Braydon’s room,” he said in a barely audible voice.

  Kelly didn’t even give him the courtesy of a goodbye. He simply walked into the house and left him there to stew in the misery that was his own making. When he reached Braydon’s room he knocked twice then walked in. Sam sat on the edge of the bed crying in his brother’s arms.

  He walked around and nudged Bray out of the way then crouched down in front of Sam.

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  “Hi, Kelly.”

  She gave him a teary smile. Yup, she was definitely pregnant.

  “I heard you’re carrying some precious cargo.”

  “I’m enormous.”

  “Aw, well, that’s just because even the wee McCullough lads have big cocks. He’s probably regular size everywhere else.”

  She sniffled and laughed. “What’s your excuse if it’s a girl?”

  “Well, in that case, she must have her mother’s brains and therefore have an abnormally large melon.”

  She laughed and punched him playfully in the arm. “Jerk.”

  “Don’t worry, love, she probably has her mum’s looks too and therefore no one will think twice about her big head.”

  Her chuckle was a half sob. She wiped her nose against the back of her hand and he teased, “On second thought, I don’t know. I remember you a lot prettier with a lot less snot on your face.”

  He reached over and plucked a tissue from the box on the nightstand. He blotted her eyes lovingly and held the tissue to her nose.

  “Blow,” he instructed, and she did.

  “That’s better,” Kelly said, taking her hands and holding them away from her body. “You look stunning, Sammy, snot and all.”

  “I’ve missed you, Kelly.”

  “You too, love. I can’t believe you’ve got my little niece or nephew in there. It’s bloody fantastic!”

  “I think you’re the first in your family to see it that way.”

  “Impossible. My mother’s probably already knitted it eight sweaters since you arrived.”

  She looked at Braydon and her expression said she believed the opposite. Braydon quickly reassured her, “No, Sam, you can’t go by her initial reaction. She was just shocked.”

  Sam let a hysterical laugh bubble past her lips.

  “What?” Kelly asked, wanting to know what had suddenly amused her.

  “She thinks the baby’s Braydon’s,” she confessed and laughed again.

  Bray blushed and Kelly snorted.

  “Well, it looks like she has another surprise coming. What do you say we let you get cleaned up and you meet us downstairs so we can clear up Mum’s confusion?”

  Her smile fell away. “What about Colin?”

  He pressed his lips together. He should have punched his brother in the head while he had the chance.

  Colin had done nothing but walk around the place in a perpetual bad mood for the last several months and now that he actually had a blessing before him he was too thickheaded to appreciate it.

  “Colin will come around, but you don’t need his permission to celebrate with the rest of us. You’ve got McCullough blood in you now. We need to commemorate such news with some fine Irish whiskey.”

  She gagged. “None for me thanks.”

  “No, love, none for you.”

  When Sam joined the others downstairs she looked a lot better than she had, but was still a bit unsure of herself. Like he suspected, his mother was bursting with excitement over the news. This would be her grandbaby and therefore one of the most spoiled children to ever grace their mountains.

  Sheilagh and Finn eventually joined them and congratulated both Sam and Braydon on the news. No one corrected everyone’s misconception that Sam was carrying Braydon’s child. This seemed to make Sammy uncomfortable, but she said nothing when Braydon only shrugged it off.

  They spent the entire day in the kitchen, laughing and telling stories of when they were babies. Around five, Luke and their father joined them. He was glad to see a smile split his father’s bearded face when he heard the news. He lovingly hugged Sam and placed his big mitt on her stomach welcoming her to the family.

  They were finishing dinner when Colin finally returned. Everyone aside from Kelly, Braydon, and Sam greeted him with a smile. All the merriment that had been in Sam’s eyes moments ago vanished. Colin stood in the doorway of the kitchen as if he didn’t belong.

  “
Colin,” his father greeted happily. “Did you hear the news? Braydon’s going to be a father!”

  Colin’s shoulders visibly tensed as he scowled at Braydon. His jaw ticked and everyone quieted not understanding his reaction.

  “Colin,” Braydon began apologetically.

  “I aught to kick your ass,” Colin growled.

  “What the hell has gotten into you, Colin Francis McCullough?” their mother asked, appalled at her eldest son’s manners.

  Braydon stood up and tipped his chin at their older brother. “Do it. I’d love an excuse to knock some sense into you.”

  “Everybody sit down!” their father barked. “What the bloody hell is going on here?”

  “Oh. My. God,” Sheilagh suddenly chimed in. “It’s not yours,” she said turning to Braydon.

  “What’s not yours?” their mother asked.

  “The baby,” Sheilagh informed the rest. “It’s Colin’s.”

  As one, everyone slowly turned to face Colin. He at least had the decency to not deny it.

  Their mother uttered a long drown out, “Ohhhh.” She looked to Sam, and Kelly almost laughed. His mother was clearly embarrassed for the girl. She looked down at her plate and gently said, “Oh, my poor girl, I know all my sons are handsome, but you’ve gone ahead and had yer fill now. How will we know who the father is? And—”

  “Maureen, quiet,” his father interrupted. That was a first. He looked to Colin and asked, “Is this true, son?”

  Colin nodded and their father looked to Braydon. “And you, Braydon? What is your part in all this?”

  Blushing, Bray admitted, “The baby isn’t mine. I never thought it was. It would be impossible. I just didn’t correct all of you when you made the assumption.”

  Everyone turned to Sam who kept her gaze glued to her lap. Colin finally stepped beside her and said, “All of you can just clam up and mind your own business for a spell. I need to talk to Sammy alone and she doesn’t need the rest of you passing judgment on her. If you want to judge anyone, judge me. I’m the only one who pretended to be something I wasn’t. She was never disloyal to me or to Braydon. If you don’t believe me, ask Bray, but we’re going up to my room and I don’t want anyone to interrupt us until we decide to come down.”

  He took Samantha’s hand and helped her from the table. She looked at him a bit insecurely, but followed him nonetheless. As soon as they cleared the threshold everyone began talking at once.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Sam stepped into Colin’s room and went right to the window. She had missed the view. The mountains were beautiful covered in snow. The trees looked like little confections sprinkled with powdered sugar.

  The sound of the door shutting and the snick of the lock scattered all of her thoughts away. She turned and faced Colin.

  “Colin, I’m so sor—”

  He held up his hand. “Stop. I’ve had time to think, and I don’t want your apology.”

  She swallowed hard and blinked back tears. “Okay,” she rasped.

  “Do you want to sit?”

  She didn’t want to feel more vulnerable, but she was starting to get Braxton Hicks, and the last thing she wanted to do was go into early labor before she made it home to her parents. So she nodded and sat down on the bed. He waited patiently as she arranged the pillows against the headboard and tried to get comfortable. There really wasn’t any comfort left at this stage of the pregnancy, but she fiddled with the pillows and tried for it anyway.

  Colin let out an exasperated sigh and walked over to her.

  “Here, let me.” He held her forward by the arm as he fluffed and placed the pillows so they wouldn’t slip behind the mattress.

  “There,” he said softly and eased her back.

  Sam sighed in pleasure and he watched her for a moment making her feel terribly exposed. When he looked at her like that she never knew how to look back. She had forgotten how quickly he could disarm her with a glance.

  “God, you’re beautiful, Sammy. I tried to convince myself I was embellishing my memories of you, but really I wasn’t giving you enough credit.”

  That was the first kind thing Colin had said to her since she arrived earlier. It was the first thing that even remotely reminded her of the man she thought he was, the man she fell in love with.

  She couldn’t stop her tears. Her emotions were out of control, and she was too exhausted to combat them at the moment.

  He pulled her into his arms and the sensation of him finally holding her again was too much. She cried long and hard for all the times she told herself he’d never touch her like this again.

  “I am so sorry for the way I treated you earlier, Samantha. You didn’t deserve my anger or the cruel things I said. I’m sorry for acting like a complete arse.”

  “I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know,” she babbled as she cried into his shoulder. “I didn’t even realize I was pregnant until October. Like an idiot I thought I was depressed and getting fat. I replaced you with two guys named Ben and Jerry. My mom was the one who brought it to my attention. By then I thought you were already ordained. I did try to look you up, I swear, but I wasn’t sure where to call. I found Saint Peter’s online and came across their bulletin and on the bottom I saw your ordainment. Why did they put it on the bulletin if you never went through with it?”

  “They must have published it beforehand and never removed it. I planned on going through with it, but when the bishop asked me to swear to always love God above all others, I couldn’t. I knew it would be a lie. Remember how I told you I realized I wanted to become a priest when I discovered a certain passage in the bible?”

  She nodded against his shoulder.

  “It’s from the Old Testament. It says, ‘It becomes like a fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones: I grow weary of holding it in.’ That no longer represents my passion to serve God. It is my love for you that burns in my heart, hotter and stronger than any love I have ever known. You’re written into my bones and I realized in the past few months I would never be able to erase your presence inside of me. You have become a part of me and I love you so fiercely sometimes I fear it’ll swallow me whole and I’ll no longer recognize myself.”

  He kissed the top of her head and down the side of her face.

  “Oh, Sammy, I grow weary holding it all inside. So many times I wanted to say to hell with it all and come find you and demand you come back to me, but I didn’t think you would ever forgive me for letting you go. I was such a stupid fool to think I could wash away what we shared. I don’t think I will ever stop loving you and I don’t ever want to. That day of my ordainment, it was as though God was whispering to me, telling me he had a different plan. That plan was you, Sammy.”

  His lips found the corner of her mouth and kissed her there. The familiar, almost forgotten touch filled her blood with such wanting she thought she would die if he stopped touching her.

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered against her mouth.

  “I’m sorry too.”

  His fingers sifted through her hair and her ponytail loosened. He pulled her to him and kissed her hard as if he could not be gentle in that moment. She kissed him back with equal passion.

  Her fingers went to the buttons of his flannel shirt and began quickly undoing them. His hands coasted down her back and held her firmly.

  She felt like a whale when she tried to lean farther into him. She wanted to press herself against him, but her belly prevented her from doing so.

  When she undid the last button she yanked his shirt off of his shoulders. He was bigger than before, more muscled, harder.

  “I want to see you,” he breathed as he scattered kisses up the sensitive side of her neck and nibbled the lobe of her ear sending shivers through her body.

  “I’m fat,” she whispered, as she ran her hands over his bared flesh.

  He held her away from him and looked at her sternly, “No, Samantha, you are beautiful and that is my child you’re carrying. Do you know how ma
gnificent that is to me, what a miracle it is to be creating life? Let me see you.”

  Well, if he was going to put it that way… She lifted her shirt over her head then undid her hideously functional maternity bra. Tossing the offensive garment aside, she leaned back on her elbows and let him look his fill. His gaze was fixated on her belly. It was huge. Her belly button had somehow turned inside out and her skin was stretched thin.

  He looked up at her in complete awe.

  “You are the most stunning beauty I’ve ever looked upon. I don’t think I have ever even seen a painting of the Virgin Mary as breathtaking.”

  She blushed when his focus moved to her breasts. They resembled nothing of what they were that summer.

  “You’re nipples are darker,” he said and her blush intensified until she actually felt as though her face was on fire.

  “The doctor says that’s normal.”

  He looked at her with a mixture of excitement and curiosity. “And what about everything else? Have you had any other issues? Any trouble with anything? Does the doctor say you and the baby are healthy?”

  “We’re both fine. Aside from a little heartburn I’ve had a fairly easy pregnancy. It makes me terrified for the delivery. I’m afraid because everything has been easy God will punish me with a thirty pound newborn.”

  He laughed. “If it’s a boy he’ll likely be close to ten pounds. We were all big. But if she’s a girl, well, Sheilagh was only six-two. No matter what though, I’ll be there with you the whole time, Sammy. I’d take the pain for you if I could. I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

  Her heart elated at his words, but like a knee jerk emotion her mind told her not to believe having Colin would ever be possible.

  “What are you thinking? You look sad.”

  “I’m wondering if this is really happening, that I’m actually here with you. I’ve dreamed this moment, or moments like this, a thousand times, but my mind always tells me I’m an idiot for entertaining such fantasies.”

  He cupped his palm to the side of her face. “My love for you is no fantasy, Samantha. It’s the most real thing I’ve ever known.”