Tessa in Love

  ‘Listen, though,’ Matty said, out of the blue, near the end of the film, ‘let’s not make this a concrete plan. Lee’s been a bit funny about stuff, recently. Just ask Wolfie if he’ll come with you. Don’t make it about the four of us.’

  ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘Is everything OK, though?’

  ‘Yeah–yeah, everything’s fine,’ Matty said.

  I paused the DVD and went to get the ice cream. I knew there was probably something up, but, if Matty wasn’t ready to talk about it, I knew from experience that I couldn’t force her, and I didn’t want to go back into our weird argument from earlier about whether I was changing too much to be like Wolfie. If I could influence the direction of the evening, my best bet was to make it all about ice cream.

  It was Cookie Dough. It was good. The evening was saved.

  Then things got better. I was writing some course-work at home on the dining table straight after school. My mum wasn’t home yet, my brother was on the other side of the room watching the telly, and my dad was tootling around in the kitchen making himself a sandwich before dinner. We heard a commotion outside the house, and my dad asked my brother to turn down the telly. Before he had, the doorbell rang and we could hear singing outside, and I realised it was Jane and Lara and Chunk and Wolfie. I ran to let them in.

  ‘The Wood is safe!’ Jane shouted.

  They all started talking at once, and Wolfie came in first and grabbed me round the waist and picked me up.

  ‘What?’ I said. ‘What’s happened?’

  ‘Come on, you,’ Jane said. ‘We’re all going to run around in the Wood to celebrate.’

  ‘The supermarket failed to get planning permission at the last meeting. All because of our brilliant . . .’ Chunk said, until Lara interrupted him.

  ‘Well, we don’t know that it was our . . .’

  ‘It can’t have hurt,’ Chunk said.

  ‘Is it really true?’ I said. ‘Is it definitely safe?’

  ‘Yes it’s true!’ Jane sang.

  ‘OK, no time to waste,’ Lara said. ‘Come on, Tessa.’

  ‘Can you come, Tess?’ Wolfie whispered in my ear.

  ‘Dad, is it OK? I’ll be back for dinner,’ I said.

  ‘Sure,’ my dad said, through a mouthful of cheese sandwich. ‘Go on.’

  We all tumbled out the door and ran to the woods. Wolfie and I walked a little behind the others. Once, Lara turned round to look at us, and she looked a little sad, and I felt bad, because it seemed so obvious that she had been wishing he’d ask her out, and instead he’d chosen me. I wanted Lara to like me. I was still very in awe of her, because she was so clever and talented and pretty.

  ‘I can’t believe it’s really safe,’ I said.

  ‘It had to be your fabulous essay,’ Wolfie said.

  ‘Or your fabulous picture,’ I said.

  ‘Well, they chose the most boring one,’ Wolfie said.

  ‘They were all beautiful.’

  ‘Well, the most beautiful one was ...’

  ‘Keep up, you two,’ Chunk said, beckoning us on without turning round to look at us.

  The woods were absolutely beautiful that evening because they were suddenly really ours; we’d saved them .Well, us and all the older people who’d held the meeting and talked to councillors and mailed petitions and gone to the planning permission appeal. But we’d made a difference. There were lots of other people there, and everyone was saying hello to everyone else and asking if they’d heard, and nodding and saying that was why they were there. People had brought out their children and were walking with them through the trees, explaining that they’d been saved from bulldozers. Jane started talking to a little white-haired old man: she told him what we’d done and he’d seen our page in the local paper, and he said it was ‘splendid, really splendid’ and added, ‘I know as an old git I’m duty bound to say that everything is changing too fast, but I’ve been walking by these trees my whole life, and it really didn’t need to be swapped for another new place to buy one hundred different types of toilet roll.’

  He shook hands with all of us before he left, and Jane gave him a little hug. I thought about how brilliant my new friends were, and then felt a little guilty that Matty wasn’t sharing in this lovely moment when she was my best friend. I knew I’d have to tell her about it, and would probably downplay how exciting it was. I didn’t want to gush, because it was the part of my life that most excluded her, and that made me feel bad.

  ***

  When I got back, after a very quick snog with Wolfie in the garden, I went in to find my mum in a bad mood.

  ‘Did you finish your work?’ she asked me. She knew I hadn’t.

  I’ll do it now!’ I said.

  ‘Have you eaten?’ Mum said.

  I paused. I was starving. ‘No,’ I admitted.

  ‘Your dinner’s in the oven,’ she said, ‘although it’s probably dried out now. It’s nearly nine, you know? Eat first, and then see how much you can get done, but I don’t want you going to bed late again tonight.’

  ‘OK, I just have to . . .’ I stopped.

  ‘Just have to what?’

  ‘I was just going to e-mail Matty to let her know the good news.’

  ‘No,’ Mum said. ‘You’ll start instant messaging each other, and you won’t be done for another hour. I bet Matty has already done her coursework.’ I shrugged. ‘Tessa, I know it’s the most amazing thing ever to happen ever.. .’

  ‘But mum, I know you’re not being serious, but it is seriously important and good and ...’

  ‘I know. But your GCSEs are really close, and everything you do now counts. Today is special, but in the near future, we’re going to have to sit down and plan how many times a week you can see Wolfie, and how much time you can spend with Matty. You don’t have that much spare time, you know?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘It’s just a question of making a schedule and sticking to it, Tessa,’ Mum said. By now she was being quite nice, although I didn’t want to admit that her advice was sensible and everything she said was true.

  The next day, as a sort of compromise, I asked if I could bring Wolfie home for dinner. Mum agreed, because she wanted to show that she wasn’t being a monster and that she was willing to negotiate, as long as I had a sense of my obligations. Wolfie cooked, having the food ready just as Mum got back home. It was a really delicious olivey-potatoey-tomatoey stew, although Jack moaned that it needed bacon. My mum was totally charming and even a bit flirty with Wolfie, and she agreed to let him stick around to ‘help’ me with my homework for a couple of hours. The fact was, we had to be together that night, because it was our two-month anniversary.

  ‘Sit down,’ I told him in my bedroom. ‘I made you something.’

  He sat on my chair and I sat on his lap, and brought it from behind my back. While I was making such a big deal of it, I also worried for a moment that it might just be really lame. It was a mixed CD I’d burned for him, and all the songs were wolf-related. Well . . . some of them were pretty obscure, and some of them were a bit weird, because I’d sort of started to run out of wolves halfway through, so I just put on some of my favourite songs to fill it up. But before I had, there was ‘Hungry Like the Wolf, ‘Werewolves of London’, ‘A Wolf at the Door’, ‘A Man Ain’t A-Nothing But a Wolf, ‘Cry Wolf, and, urn, ‘After the Fox’, which was this mad, funny movie soundtrack song my dad always used to play.

  Wolfie kissed me softly and sweetly.

  ‘You’re adorable,’ he said. ‘Stay right there.’

  He pulled a little book out of his bag. I opened it up: it was made of thick card, lightly bound together and tied with a bow, and folded in baby-blue tissue paper. Wolfie had made a photo album of the pictures he took in Bridlington the day we went to the seaside. There was the Beside the Seaside museum with the creepy dummies, the Sixties Coffee Bar where we’d eaten, and loads of streaky-lens, moody, beautiful seascapes. But the pictures were so amazing, completely professional, black and white and rea
lly arty, with some soft-focus edging framing the details – an old lady laughing at a dummy that was virtually identical to her, a tiny little girl hypnotised by the Punch and Judy, and – oh dear – me with sopping wet hair laughing so hard you could almost hear me through the picture.

  ‘They’re like stills from a film of everything we did,’ I said. ‘They’re incredible.’

  ‘It was the day that was incredible,’ Wolfie said. ‘I just tried to take home as much of it as I could.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I said, looking into his gorgeous brown eyes. ‘I wish I had a record exactly like this of every day I’ve spent with you.’

  ‘Otherwise you’ll forget?’ he teased.

  ‘Never,’ I said. ‘But I love this, and I love you. You’re really good as well, you know?’

  ‘You . . . well, it sounds cheesy, but you sort of inspire me,’ Wolfie said. ‘I didn’t really know what I was doing until I met you. Do you really think they’re not terrible?’

  ‘Well, you might want to rethink the picture of the weird laughing girl. . .’

  ‘You’re beautiful,’ Wolfie said, and when I put my hands in front of my face, because I knew it wasn’t true, he gently moved them out of the way and kissed me. ‘You’re the most beautiful thing in the book.’

  My mum knocked on the door to chuck him out at about ten. She came in and sat with us for a bit and thanked him for cooking dinner and told him he could come and do it again any time.

  ‘Men who cook,’ she said to me when Wolfie had gone, ‘are worth keeping around.’

  ‘I’m glad you approve,’ I said.

  ‘He’s nice to you,’ Mum said. ‘He appreciates you. That’s really all that counts.’

  I gave her a big hug.

  Not everything was working out so well. Wolfie wouldn’t go to Becca’s party. ‘Sorry, Tess,’ he told me, over the phone. ‘I’m watching the football with Chunk on Saturday.’

  ‘Football?’ I said. ‘But that’ll finish quite early, won’t it? And isn’t it on every week?’

  ‘It’s the quarter-finals, so it’s really important, and I’ve got a pre-arranged thing with Chunk – we’re going to hang out afterwards,’ Wolfie said. ‘I’d love to go with you, Tess, but you’re going with Matty anyway, aren’t you?’

  ‘Well, Matty and I thought we all might sort of hang out as a couple of couples,’ I said. ‘Her and Lee and you and me.’

  ‘Me and Lee Kelly?’ Wolfie said. ‘Can you really see that happening?’

  ‘Can’t you just. . .’

  ‘He’s a jerk, Tess,’ Wolfie said. ‘We both know it. I like Matty, but life’s too short to make small talk with her jerk boyfriend. Look, you go, have a nice time with Matty, answer the jerk back when he starts being a jerk and make me proud of you . . . then come back and tell me about it. We’ll spend Sunday together, and you can celebrate with me – or console me – about the match.’

  I’m just worried that Matty and I are losing touch with each other, and I thought if we started . . .’

  ‘Tess, Lee Kelly and I are not going to start liking each other just because we like you two girls. You’ll have a good time without me.’

  ‘But Matty’ll be there with Lee and I’ll be like a gooseberry again.’

  ‘Then come and watch the football with me. You might end up liking it.’

  ‘No. I’ve told Matty I’m going, so I’m going. Anyway, my mum’s giving us a lift home – her parents won’t take her both ways.’

  ‘You’ll have fun,’ he said. I was sort of annoyed and didn’t know whether I should come out and say it, as he obviously couldn’t pick it up from my tone. I was also embarrassed about what I’d have to tell Matty. Her boyfriend would support her, mine was putting a football match ahead of a really important party. Maybe she was right – maybe I did do too much to please Wolfie.

  ‘I’d have more fun with you there,’ I said.

  ‘Well, I’d have more fun with you if you change your mind and come and watch the footie with us.’

  ‘You know I won’t,’ I said, feeling tired. ‘Are you ...’ I trailed off.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Well, do you feel like we’ve been spending too much time together?’

  No,’ Wolfie said. ‘I’m crazy about you, Tess.’ He said it quickly and quite quietly, so I worried it was just something he felt he had to say, and I couldn’t say anything back for a second. ‘My dad’s home,’ he explained. ‘I don’t think he’s listening, but...’

  ‘Why don’t you get a mobile, then you can talk in your room?’ I said. ‘They’re this hot new invention, maybe you’ve heard of them?’

  ‘Yeah, I’ve heard of them,’ he said, sounding more amused, more like his usual self. ‘You know I don’t like the idea of them, no one knows for sure what effect the pylons are having on the environment.’

  ‘Can’t you use my pylon?’ I suggested. ‘I’m pretty sure they won’t put up a new one just for you.’ Wolfie laughed, but I was still frustrated and feeling a bit insecure. I felt sure other girls’ boyfriends were less hard work.

  Matty didn’t seem too bothered when I told her, although I apologised again on the night of the party.

  ‘Well actually, I don’t know if Lee’s coming now,’ she whispered, as we got into her mum’s car. She sat in the front and I was in the back, so I couldn’t ask her any more about it until we were there, although I really wanted to know what was up. Her mum talked to me about GCSEs and said Matty wasn’t doing enough work, and Matty sighed and looked out the window. She was wearing a high-necked shirt that I knew she’d be taking off as soon as she was out of the car. Matty often went out wearing two outfits.

  ‘She spends too much time on the Internet,’ Matty’s mum said. ‘I suppose she’s in those chat rooms.’

  ‘Mum! I’m right here!’ Matty said. ‘And no one goes in chat rooms. I talk to Tessa about work, and there are loads of specimen essays and things about the courses we’re doing.’

  ‘Is that true, Tessa?’ Matty’s mum asked me, shouting so I could hear her in the back, although I could hear her fine before.

  ‘Yes!’ I shouted back. Matty and I did sometimes pop into chat rooms, but we just did it to have a laugh, and to argue about silly things with people who had no idea who we were.

  Becca let us in, looking pretty and a little bit tipsy, and I hoped Matty’s mum couldn’t tell from her car. She showed us to the big bowl of punch, and Matty, as I’d predicted, bundled her high-necked shirt with our bags, and reappeared wearing a beautiful green silk halter-neck that set off her shiny red bob amazingly. She was absolutely gorgeous. Wolfie made me feel pretty, in the way he looked at me, and by telling me I was, and just by being my boyfriend, and I had begun to feel more confident about everything since I’d known him, but when Matty was looking her best, I just had to stand back and admire her. It seemed wasted on Lee, who did show up, late, looking surly. He didn’t compliment her; he just sat around, asking her to get him beer. My plan had been to look for the best in him tonight and tell Wolfie all about it when we met the next day, saying that Matty’s boyfriend skipped the football to make her happy, and was really lovely to her. But the plan was going to have to change. Matty and Lee started bickering, without embarrassment, and without even seeming to care whether I was there, so I thought the best thing to do was to go and circulate.

  Becca was singing karaoke by this time, which was really funny, and I started chatting to Jim Fisk, of tree-carving fame.

  ‘She still arguing with him?’ Jim asked me.

  ‘Matty? Oh, did you see them?’ I said. ‘Yes, I don’t know what it’s about.’

  ‘So how are you, these days?’ Jim said. ‘I haven’t seen much of you since I moved. We take too many different classes, too. I hear you’re a proper loved-up hippie now. I-love-nature, I-love-wolves . . .’

  I laughed. ‘I’m having a good time,’ I said.

  ‘I heard about you saving the Wood,’ Jim said. ‘I thought the thing you wrote
for the paper was really good.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I told him. ‘You’re really sweet. Lots of people were sort of laughing at me, you know? I talked about fairies and stuff . . . ’

  ‘You could tell you meant it to be funny. And it was,’ Jim said. I could see why I had once fancied Jim -he was lovely. But I’d moved on, and I didn’t feel anything like that for him any more. I really was in love with Wolfie.

  About an hour after he’d come, Lee went. He slammed the door, and Matty came in to find me.

  ‘Shall we go?’ she said. Her eyes looked strained and pink, and I could tell she was close to tears.

  ‘Are you ready now?’ I asked her. I wanted to give her a hug. But whenever anyone felt sorry for me it was guaranteed to make me cry and I didn’t think Matty would want to cry in front of everyone, so I didn’t ask her what had happened with Lee. I thought it would be

  better to wait till we were safely out of the party. ‘I can call my mum.’

  ‘Well . . . I’m just going to tidy myself up,’ Matty said, and she headed for the stairs, where there’d been a small queue for the loo all night. I didn’t know whether to follow her, thought about it for a bit, then told Jim I’d better see how she was. He nodded. I couldn’t find her, and went back to the living room, where Becca was now doing a kind of dance routine to an old S Club number. I suddenly realised Matty had been taking ages and ages, and I knew I had to look for her again. Finally, I tracked her down in Becca’s mum’s bedroom, where she was sitting in the corner snogging a boy called Pete.

  This was bad. This was really bad.

  I got straight out and shut the door, because what else could I do? But my heart was thumping. For one thing, she was cheating on Lee, which was mega serious. For another, Pete, the boy she was snogging, was cheating on his girlfriend Kim, who wasn’t there, but who was very scary indeed. If this got out, Matty would be in big trouble. I had to stop it before anyone else discovered them. I knocked on the door.