Goblins on the Prowl

  “I thought toads were supposed to slow down when it’s cold,” I said bitterly.

  “We fowwow no ohdinawy toad,” Bwoonhiwda replied, thumping down the butt of her spear. It cracked through some ice and sank about a foot into the boggy ground. With a scowl that dared anyone to laugh, she pulled it out.

  “Well,” said Werdolphus, “guess we’ll be visiting Bonecracker John after all.”

  As it turned out, we had to do something else before visiting the giant . . . get some rest!

  I hated the idea—stopping for even a moment felt like betraying William. But as we turned from Bogfester, I found that I was groggy and stumbling. I realized I had never gone to sleep the night before.

  The others were not much better off, having had only an hour or two of rest before the uproar with the toad had roused them. Only Werdolphus was not tired.

  It was Bwoonhiwda who put the situation into words.

  “We must sweep!”

  “Can’t sweep,” Igor said. “Got no bwoom!”

  It was the first joke I’d ever heard him make. From the look on Bwoonhiwda’s face, I thought it might also be his last—in fact, maybe the last time he ever said anything. Eyes blazing, the warrior woman snapped, “Ah you making fun of me, you big wug?”

  “Uh-oh,” Werdolphus whispered.

  Igor’s eyes widened in alarm. Backing up a step, he said, “Igor not make fun. Igor make joke! Igor want to be friend!” He looked at me helplessly. “Fauna! Tell Bwoonhiwda Igor want to be friend!”

  I stepped between them. “Igor didn’t mean to insult you, Bwoonhiwda. He’s just not very good at, um . . . people stuff.”

  Bwoonhiwda hoisted a braid. The cannonball at the end of it dangled a foot below her hand, and I could tell she was trying to decide whether to use it to clonk Igor. Finally she said, “Tew the big wug that one moh joke wike that, and I cwack his head open wike an egg! Now wet’s go back to the wagon so we can sweep.”

  She turned on her heel and started to retrace the route that had brought us to the swamp. I glanced at Igor. His lower lip trembled, and his face was pulled down in the saddest look I had ever seen. He sighed, tucked his bear under his arm, and started after Bwoonhiwda.

  A few minutes later Herky, who was walking in front of me, stumbled and went down. When I ran to him, I realized he hadn’t tripped. . . . He had actually fallen asleep while walking! It was all the proof I needed that we truly did have to rest before continuing.

  I scooped the little nuisance into my arms and trudged on.

  When we reached the wagon, Bwoonhiwda pulled open the door and said, “Cwimb in!”

  I blinked at her. “All of us? It’s so small, we’ll have to sleep standing up!”

  Bwoonhiwda laughed. “Come inside and wook.”

  I climbed the little steps at the back, went through the door, and cried out in wonder. The inside of the wagon was far bigger than the outside. Beautiful paintings hung on the walls. Thick carpets covered the floor. Though there was no fire to be seen, it was pleasantly warm, just as Bwoonhiwda had promised.

  “The bedwooms ah at the fah end,” she said, climbing in behind me.

  “How many rooms does this thing have?”

  “Depends on how many we need. It’s enchanted.”

  “How did you get an enchanted wagon?”

  “The queen knows a wot of wizahds.”

  Bwoonhiwda and I shared a room. The “boys”—Igor and Herky—shared another. Werdolphus, who had no need to sleep, decided this would be a good time to go back and check in with Karl.

  I agreed.

  When I followed Bwoonhiwda into our room, I saw that it held two beds and a wardrobe. The wardrobe was even bigger than the one in my room in the castle.

  I slipped off my coat and boots. Still wearing the rest of my clothes, I climbed between the sheets of one of the beds. It felt good to lie down!

  Bwoonhiwda stepped into the wardrobe. When she came out again, she had taken off her helmet and was wearing a long white nightdress. I had wondered if she would unbraid her hair to sleep. She didn’t. Instead, she carefully lifted the braids as she climbed into bed, then arranged them so that they dangled over the sides.

  The cannonballs made a clunking sound as they hit the floor.

  She folded her hands over her bosom and said, “Sweep well, Fauna.” Then she called, “Wights out!”

  The room went dark.

  After a moment I said softly, “Bwoonhiwda, may I ask a question?”

  “Cewtainwy.”

  “Why do you talk the way you do? Are you from another country?”

  “No, I just have a w pwobwem.”

  “But you say w just fine.”

  “Yes, I have no pwobwem with w. My pwobwem is with w and w.”

  “What?” I asked, totally confused.

  “You know, w, as in ‘wabbit’ and ‘wittiw.’ If I see a tiny bunny and twy to say, ‘What a nice wittiw wabbit,’ it comes out ‘What a nice wittiw wabbit’ instead of . . . of what I twied to say.”

  “Ah!” I said, starting to understand.

  “My pawents had the same pwobwem. They intended to name me . . .” She paused, and I could tell she was struggling with the word. Finally she said, “They meant to have my name sound diffewent. But when the pwiest asked what they wanted to name me, Motheh said, ‘Bwoonhiwda!’ So that was what he wote in the Big Book of Names.” She sighed. “This has caused many pwobwems in my wife.”

  “I’ll bet.”

  “Chiwdwen can be vewy cwuel,” she added softly.

  It was strange to hear this woman, so big and strong, speak this way.

  “Thank you for explaining,” I said.

  “No pwobwem. Now wet’s get some west!”

  I was asleep and dreaming almost instantly. Unfortunately, the dreams all involved giant toads chasing me through dark caverns.

  They ended when I heard William shout, “Fauna! Fauna, can you hear me?”

  I opened my eyes. William was standing beside my bed!

  To my horror, I could see right through him. And Solomon’s Collar was tingling the way it did whenever I saw Werdolphus.

  “William!” I cried. “Are you dead?”

  When a great heart is hidden in an ugly body, much grief and longing can result. This is a particularly human problem. We goblins are all ugly, and take some pride in it!

  —Stanklo the Scribbler

  CHAPTER TEN

  AN UNEXPECTED VISIT

  William laughed. “I’m not dead, you goof. I just drank some of that Sleep Walk stuff you brought me from Granny Pinchbottom.”

  I sighed in relief. “But how did you find us?”

  “It was you I could find. I think it’s that collar. It was like it drew me to you. I bet that’s also why you can see me, since from what Granny Pinchbottom told you, I should be invisible when I’m doing a Sleep Walk.”

  He said something else, but I couldn’t understand it because Bwoonhiwda started to snore.

  William glanced at the big woman. “Who is that?”

  “Let’s go into the other room,” I said. “It will be easier to talk. I’ll explain there . . . after you finish telling me your story!”

  William nodded, then drifted through the closed door.

  I had to open it to follow him.

  Once we were in the main room, I said, “If you traveled here from your body, you can lead us back to it, right?”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t follow any kind of path to get here. I just floated up through rock! That was the scariest thing yet! Thank goodness it happened quickly. If it had gone on much longer, I might have lost my mind.”

  “I think you’d better back up and tell this from the beginning.”

  “I was awake for only some of it. That dratted toad clonked my head against a tr
ee while it was hopping away from the castle and knocked me senseless. When I finally woke up, we were in the forest. I had a horrible headache, but at least I wasn’t in his mouth anymore!”

  “Where were you?”

  “On the ground between his front legs! He was crouched over me, protecting me.”

  “From what?”

  “Goblins! It was weird. They kept shouting ‘Blackstone! Blackstone!’”

  I shuddered. “The goblins who searched my cottage were shouting that too. Also the ones who attacked us.”

  “WHAT?”

  Quickly I told him about those incidents, then filled him in on what had happened after the toad had hopped away with him. When I got to the part about the Baron, my voice caught before I could finish.

  “What?” asked William. “What’s wrong?”

  “The Baron is in danger,” I whispered. Then I explained about the magical sleep.

  William looked sick. “This is my fault! I never should have started reading from that book.”

  “We were both part of it,” I said, not wanting him to take all the blame.

  He looked at me. “You didn’t see what happened after I started reading, did you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I couldn’t stop! It was like something had . . . I don’t know . . . taken me over and was using me to read the book out loud. It was the creepiest feeling.”

  “I wondered why you kept going. That really is creepy. Now tell me what else happened with the goblins that attacked you. Oh! Did they have red headbands?”

  “Yeah. How did you know?”

  “The goblins who searched my cottage, and the ones who attacked us last night, were wearing them. It’s like some kind of uniform. All right. Go on with your story.”

  “Well, the toad kept whapping the goblins with his tongue. He didn’t wrap it around them. Instead, he used it like a superlong arm. It reminded me of Igor with his bear. If the toad whacked a goblin with his tongue, it would go flying. They kept trying to get at us, but after the toad knocked out four of them, the others gave up. They picked up the ones who were down and carried them away.”

  “And they didn’t come back?”

  “We moved on.”

  “Did the toad put you into his mouth again?”

  “No. He flattened down and looked at me. I could tell he wanted me to climb onto his back. Since he had protected me from the goblins—and since I had no idea where we were or how to get home—I figured I might as well go with him.” He smiled. “It’s almost like flying when he makes a jump. Hurts when he lands, though. And I have to hold on tight. We’re in a cave now, pretty far underground.”

  “In Nilbog?”

  “I don’t know. The toad is asleep. He put himself in front of the entrance to block it. Whether he did that to keep me in or keep goblins out, I have no idea. After he dozed off, I decided it was time to try a Sleep Walk.”

  “Did you come straight here?”

  “First I tried to investigate where I was. Turns out I can move really fast this way, and it’s not tiring at all. But I couldn’t figure out much because there’s almost no light, just a little of that glowing fungus. The good thing is, I could always sense where my body was, so I wasn’t worried about getting lost.”

  “You haven’t been out too long, have you? Remember, you’ve got a two-hour limit. If you pass it, you won’t be able to get back in.”

  “Oh, I remember.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the watch the Baron had given him. “I’m using this to keep track.”

  I smiled. “Good thing your clothes and stuff come with you.”

  “Definitely better than floating around naked!” he agreed. Then he shook his head. “Karl was right. We should have left that book alone!”

  I wanted to deny this, but clearly it was true. To change the subject I said, “Are you scared?”

  William looked as if this was the stupidest question he had ever heard. “‘Terrified’ would be more like it! What’s weird is that being out of my body seems to help.”

  “Really? Going on a Sleep Walk sounds pretty scary to me.”

  “It is. But not being in my body means I don’t feel the things you usually do when you’re frightened.” He held out his hands. “See? No trembling. And my heart isn’t pounding. So my body—or whatever you would call what I am right now—isn’t acting like I’m afraid. And that helps me stay calm. “ He looked down at his see-through self. “Wish I could say the same for my brain. Part of it is screaming.” He paused, then said, “I can’t tell for sure, Fauna, but I think the toad is frightened too. I wish I had that collar of yours. Then maybe I could talk to him and figure out what’s going on.”

  While I was trying to beat down a flash of guilt, he looked at his watch again. “Yow! I’d better get going!”

  “William!” I said as he started to disappear.

  “Yes?”

  “I’m glad you’re alive!”

  “Me too. And thanks for looking for me!”

  With that, he was gone.

  When I returned to the room I shared with Bwoonhiwda, the sound of her snores almost knocked me backward. I had been lucky enough to fall asleep before that racket had started, but I didn’t think I could go back to sleep while it was going on. So I gathered my blankets and dragged them into the main room to make a bed on the floor.

  Since we hadn’t gone to sleep until almost dawn, it was late when we woke. When I stretched and sat up, a snooty voice said, “I thought you were going to sleep forever!”

  Werdolphus had returned.

  “Any news from Karl?” I asked.

  The ghost shook his head. “Library man has come up dry so far. But he sends his greetings.”

  “How about the Baron?”

  “No change. He hasn’t gotten any worse, which is good. But they still can’t wake him. Hulda is keeping watch by his bedside. She’s really frightened for him.”

  I felt a twinge of guilt. To change the subject I asked, “How long did it take you to make the trip?”

  “How should I know? I had no way to time it.”

  “Do you want to try? I’ve got a watch.”

  “All right. Could be fun. Mark the time. I’ll head for the castle and be back as soon as I can.”

  I took out the watch and flipped open the top. “Ready? GO!”

  Werdolphus vanished . . . and returned in less than two minutes.

  “Even I am impressed,” he said when I told him the time. “But it took a lot out of me. First time I’ve felt tired since I died!”

  Bwoonhiwda called me to breakfast. I had been annoyed when Hulda insisted we wait for her to pack some food before we set out, but now I was glad of it. Having to hunt for our meal would have slowed us down. Even with the food at hand, it was late afternoon before we got moving.

  When it was time to start, Igor said, “Igor help pull wagon!”

  Bwoonhiwda snorted. “You would just swow me down!”

  Igor’s face crumpled, and he looked like he was going to cry.

  Bwoonhiwda sighed. “Sit on top and give diwections! Wemember, you ah the onwy one who knows the way to the giant!”

  “Igor good direction giver!” he crowed as he scrambled up the ladder on the side of the wagon. He positioned himself where a driver would usually sit. I followed him up, as did Herky. Werdolphus, of course, just floated along as he pleased.

  Bwoonhiwda started out at a walk. That was impressive enough, considering that she was pulling the wagon with all of us on it. But once we came to the road, she took off at a fast trot.

  The road wound through the forest. The afternoon sun was bright on the leaves, which were a wild mix of red, orange, and yellow. The only sound was the thud of Bwoonhiwda’s boots. The air was crisp with the smell of autumn. If I hadn’t been so worried about W
illiam, the ride would have been quite nice.

  But I was, so it wasn’t.

  It did help to know he was still alive, or at least had been a few hours before. But there was no telling what the toad—or the goblins—might do if we couldn’t rescue him. I wanted to move faster! Still, I knew we were going faster than we would have on foot.

  Herky couldn’t sit still for long, of course. Soon he was climbing up and down the sides of the wagon, or scampering from side to side on the roof.

  “You’re going to fall!” I warned him.

  “Herky not fall!” he replied cheerfully, just before he tumbled over the edge.

  “Bwoonhiwda!” I cried. “Stop!”

  She thudded to a halt. “What’s wong?”

  “Herky fell off!”

  Bwoonhiwda sighed. “Bettah go get him.”

  I would have thought she would welcome a chance to rest, but she sounded annoyed.

  I climbed down from the wagon and ran back toward Herky. When I saw that he wasn’t moving, panic surged through me.

  “Herky!” I cried. “Herky, are you all right?”

  Nothing. Not even a groan.

  I knelt beside the little annoyance and put my ear to his chest. He wasn’t breathing! I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ball of blue goo, then broke off a glob and shoved it into his mouth.

  I heard something beside me, and realized Igor was there. “Herky all right?” he asked, squeezing his bear nervously.

  “I don’t know, Igor.”

  As I spoke, the little goblin’s eyes fluttered open and he spit out the goo.

  “Herky all owiee!” he moaned.

  “I told you to hold still,” I answered sharply, feeling free to be angry now that I knew he was all right.

  “Stinky girl,” he whimpered, even as he held out his arms for me to pick him up.