Down River

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  I pulled away so she could see my face. I nodded because I had no words; then she pulled me back down and held me as the tremors racked her.

  I looked up, and found my father’s face in the window. He rubbed a hand across his eyes and turned away, but not before I saw the palsy in his fingers. Dolf watched him go, and then shook his head, as if in great sadness.

  I returned my attention to Grace, and tried with my arms to swallow her up. Eventually, she drifted back to whatever shelter her mind had made for itself. She never said another word, just rolled onto her side, and closed her eyes.

  The cops got nothing.

  Back in the hall, Grantham crowded me again. “I think that we need to step outside,” he said.

  “Why?”

  “You know why.” His hand settled around my arm. I jerked it away and he grabbed for it again.

  “Just a minute now,” Dolf said.

  Grantham got control of himself. “I told you not to piss me off,” he said.

  “Come on, Adam,” Robin said. “Let’s go outside.”

  “No.” It was all settling upon me: Grace’s lost innocence, the suspicions that dogged me, and the darkness that hung above my return to this place. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I want to know what she said.” Grantham stopped short of actually touching me. “She said something to you. I want it.”

  “Is that true?” Robin asked. “Did she speak to you?”

  “Don’t ask me, Robin. It’s not important.”

  “If she said anything, we need to know what it is.”

  I took in the faces around me. What Grace had said was for me, and I felt no need to share it. But Robin put her hand on my arm. “I have vouched for you, Adam. Do you understand what that means?”

  I pushed lightly past her and looked in on Grace. She had curled into a ball, her back to the world outside. I still felt the hot slide of her tears as she’d pressed against me. I spoke to Grantham, but put my eyes on my father. I told them exactly what she said.

  “She said that she was sorry.”

  My father slumped.

  “Sorry for what?” Grantham asked.

  I’d told them the truth, exactly what she’d said; but interpreting that apology was not my problem. So, I offered an explanation that I knew he would accept, even though it was a lie.

  “When we were at the river, she said that she hated me. I imagine that she was apologizing for that.”

  He looked thoughtful. “That’s it?” he asked. “That’s all she said?”

  “That’s it.”

  Robin and Grantham looked at each other and there was a moment of unspoken communication between them. Then Robin spoke. “There are a few other things we’d like to discuss with you. Outside, if you don’t mind.”

  “Sure,” I said, and turned for the exit. I took only two steps before I heard my father say my name. His hands were palms up, his face drawn down by the realization that Grace would be unlikely to embrace the man who’d so abused her. There was no forgiveness in my face as I met his eyes. He took half a step and said my name again, a question, a plea, and for a moment I thought about it; he was in pain, full of sudden regret and of the years that had marched so implacably between us.

  “I don’t think so,” I said, and walked out.

  CHAPTER 8

  I looked for Jamie as we hit the night air, and I saw him at the edge of the lot. He sat behind the wheel of a darkened truck. He took a swallow from a bottle and did not get out. An ambulance pulled in, lights off.

  “I need a cigarette,” Grantham said, and walked off to find one.

  We watched his back, and stood in the kind of awkward silence that troubled people know so well. I heard a horn, a light burst from Jamie’s truck. He pointed to his right, at the entrance to the emergency lot. I turned to see a long, black car slide through the narrow, concrete barrier and pull to a stop. The engine died. Two doors opened and they stepped out: Miriam, my sister, and a thickset man in black boots and a police uniform. They both saw me at the same time and stopped. Miriam looked startled and stayed by the car. The man with her grinned and came over.

  “Adam,” he said, and took me by the hand, pumping it fiercely.

  “George.”

  George Tallman had been a hanger-on for as long as I could remember. He was a few years my junior, and had been much better friends with Danny than with me. I retrieved my hand and studied him. He was six feet two, maybe two ten, with thick, sandy hair and round, brown eyes. He was solid, not fat, and had a handshake he was proud of.

  “The last time I saw you with a gun, George, you were drunk and trying to shoot beer cans off a stump with an air rifle.”

  He glanced at Robin and his eyes narrowed. The smile fell off. “That was a long time ago, Adam.”

  “He’s not really a cop,” Robin said.

  For an instant George looked angry, but it passed. “I do school outreach,” he said. “Give presentations to the kids, talk about drugs.” He looked at Robin. “And I am a cop.” His voice remained even. “Bullets and everything.”

  I heard tentative footsteps and turned to see Miriam. She looked pale in loose slacks and a long-sleeved shirt. She gave me a nervous smile, but her eyes were not without hope. She had matured, but did not look like her portrait. “Hello, Miriam,” I said.

  “Hi, Adam.”

  I gave her a hug, felt the bones of her. She squeezed back, but I could tell that doubt still troubled her. She and Gray Wilson had been good friends. My trial for his murder had cut her deeply. I gave her an extra squeeze, then let her go. The moment I stepped away, George filled the void. His arm settled across her shoulders and he pulled her against his side. This surprised me. He used to follow Miriam around like a barely tolerated puppy.

  “We’re engaged,” he said.

  I looked down, saw the ring on her hand: a small diamond in yellow gold. Five years, I reminded myself. Things change. “Congratulations,” I said.

  Miriam looked uncomfortable. “This is not really the time and place to talk about that,” she said.

  He squeezed her tighter, blew out through his nose, and looked up from the ground. “You’re right,” he said.

  I glanced back to the car, a shining, black Lincoln. “Where’s Janice?” I asked.

  Miriam began. “She wanted to come—”

  “We took her home,” George interrupted.

  “Why?” I asked, knowing the answer.

  George hesitated. “The hour,” he said. “The circumstances.”

  “Meaning me?” I said.

  Miriam shrank under the words, as George finished the thought. “She says this damns you like the trial failed to do.”

  Miriam spoke. “I told her that was unfair.”

  I let it go. I let it all go. I studied my sister: the bent neck, the thin shoulders. She risked a glance, then dropped her eyes again. “I told her, Adam. She just wouldn’t listen.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “How about you? Are you okay?”

  Hair moved on her head as she nodded. “Bad memories,” she said, and I understood. My unexpected return was baring old wounds.

  “I’ll get over it,” she said, then turned to her fiancé. “I need to speak to my father. I’m glad to see you, Adam.”

  They left, and I watched them. At the door, Miriam looked back at me; her chin settled on her shoulder and her eyes were large and black and troubled.

  I looked at Robin. “You don’t care for George, I take it.”

  “Lack of commitment,” she said. “Come on. We still have things to discuss.”

  I followed her to Grantham’s car, which was parked on the side street. The cigarette was half-smoked and stained his face orange each time he took a drag. He dropped the butt in the gutter and his face fell into shadow.

  “Tell me about the trail by the river,” he said.

  “It goes south, along the river, to Grace’s house.”


  “And beyond that?”

  “It’s old, a Sapona Indian trail, and it goes for miles. It runs beyond Grace’s house to the edge of the farm, then through a neighboring farm and several small properties with fishing cabins on them. After that, I don’t know.”

  “How about to the north?”

  “It’s about the same.”

  “Do people come through there? Hikers? Fishermen?”

  “Occasionally.”

  He nodded. “Grace was attacked about a half mile from the dock, where the trail bends hard to the north. What can you tell me about that area?”

  “The trees are thick there, but not deep. It’s really just a band of forest along the river. Above the trees, it’s pasture.”

  “So, whoever did this most likely came along the trail.”

  “Or off the river,” I said

  “But you’d have seen that.”

  I was already shaking my head. “I was only on the dock for a few minutes. But there was a woman.”

  “What woman?”

  I described what I’d seen: the white hair, the canoe. “But she went upstream, not down.”

  “Do you know her?”

  I pictured the face, a middle-aged woman that looked young. Something familiar. “No,” I said.

  Grantham made a note. “We’ll check on it. She may have seen something. Someone in another boat, a man. He could have seen Grace, and put a boat ashore downriver. She’s beautiful, half-dressed on a lonely stretch of river . . .”

  I pictured her swollen face, the tattered lips held together by knotted, black thread. No one who saw her in that hospital room could know how beautiful she truly was. Suspicion flared in me. “Do you know her?” I asked.

  Grantham studied me with the stillest eyes I’d ever seen. “It’s a small county, Mr. Chase.”

  “May I ask how you know her?”

  “That’s hardly relevant.”

  “Nevertheless . . .”

  “My son is about her age. Does that satisfy you?” I said nothing, and he continued evenly. “We were talking about a boat. Someone that may have seen her from the river and laid in wait.”

  “He’d have to know that she’d walk home that way,” I said.

  “Or he could have been coming to her, then met her on the trail. He could have seen you two on the dock and waited. Is that possible?”

  “It’s possible,” I said.

  “Does D.B. seventy-two mean anything to you?” He slipped the question in, and for a long moment I could not speak.

  “Adam?” Robin said.

  I stared as something loud and tribal began to thunder in my head. The world turned upside down.

  “Adam?”

  “You found a ring.” I could barely drive out the words. The effect on Grantham was immediate. He rocked onto the balls of his feet.

  “Why would you say that?” he asked.

  “A gold ring with a garnet stone.”

  “How do you know that?”

  My words came in some other man’s voice. “Because D.B. seventy-two is engraved on the back of it.”

  Grantham shoved his hand into a coat pocket, and when it reappeared it held a rolled-up plastic bag. He allowed it to unfurl from his fingers. It glistened in the hard light, and streaked mud shone on its sides. The ring was there: heavy gold, a garnet stone. “I’d very much like to know what it means,” Grantham said.

  “I need a minute.”

  “Whatever it is, Mr. Chase, I suggest you tell me.”

  “Adam?” Robin sounded hurt, but I couldn’t worry about that. I thought of Grace, and of the man who was supposed to be my friend.

  “This can’t be right.” I ran the film in my head, the way it could have been. I knew his face, the shape of him, the sound of him. So I could fill in the blanks, and it was like a watching a movie, a horror show, as my oldest friend raped a woman I’d known from the age of two.

  I pointed at the ring in the plastic bag.

  “You found that where it happened?” I asked.

  “It was at the scene, where Dolf found her.”

  I walked away, came back. It could not be true.

  But it was.

  Five years. Things change.

  And there was nothing good left in my voice. “Seventy-two was the number of his football jersey. The ring was a gift from his grandmother.”

  “Go on.”

  “D.B. stands for his nickname. Danny Boy. Number seventy-two.” Grantham nodded as I finished. “D.B. seventy-two. Danny Faith.”

  Robin stood silent; she knew what this was doing to me.

  “Are you certain?” Grantham asked.

  “Do you remember those fishing cabins I told you about? The ones downriver from Dolf’s house?”

  “Yes.”

  “The second one down is owned by Zebulon Faith.” They both looked at me. “Danny’s father,” I said.

  “How far down from where she was attacked?” Grantham asked.

  “Less than two miles.”

  “Well, all right.”

  “I want to be there when you talk to him,” I said.

  “Out of the question.”

  “I did not have to tell you. I could have had the conversation myself.”

  “This is a police matter. Stay out of it.”

  “It’s not your family.”

  “It’s not yours either, Mr. Chase.” He stepped closer, and although his voice was measured, the anger spilled over the lines. “When I want something else from you, I’ll tell you about it.”

  “You wouldn’t have him without me,” I said.

  “Stay out of it, Mr. Chase.”

  I left the hospital as a low moon pushed silver through the trees. I drove fast, my head full of blood and grim rage. Danny Faith. Robin was right. He’d changed, crossed the line, and there was no going back. What I’d said to Robin was true.

  I could kill him.

  When I got to the farm, it felt off: the road too narrow, turns in the wrong places. Fence posts rose up from colorless grass, barbed wire dark and tight between them. I passed the turn for Dolf’s house before I knew it was there. I backed up, hung right onto a long stretch where I’d once taught Grace to drive. She’d been eight years old, and could barely see over the wheel. I could still hear the way she laughed, feel the disappointment when I told her she was going too fast.

  Now she was in the hospital, fetal and broken. I saw the stitches in her lips, the thin slivers of blue when she tried to open her eyes.

  I slammed my open palm against the wheel, then gripped it with both hands and tried to bend it in half. I pushed hard on the gas, heard the slam and bang of rocks on the undercarriage. One more turn, then over a cattle guard that made the tires thump. I slid to a stop in front of a small, two-story house with white clapboards and a tin roof. My father owned it, but Dolf had lived here for decades. An oak tree spread over the yard, and I saw an old car on blocks in the open barn, its engine in parts on a picnic table under the tree.

  I jerked the key out of the ignition, slammed the door, and heard the high whine of mosquitoes, the slap and stutter of bats diving low.

  I locked my hands into knots as I crossed the yard. A single light hung above the porch. The knob rattled and the door swung away from me. I turned on lights, went in, and stood in Grace’s room, absorbing the things she loved: posters of fast cars, riding trophies, a picture taken on a beach. There was no clutter. The bed. The desk. A row of utilitarian footwear, like snake boots and hip-waders. There were more pictures on the mirror above the dresser: two of different horses and one of the car I’d seen in the garage—her and Dolf smiling, the car on a flatbed.

  The car was for her.

  I turned away and pulled the door shut. I brought in my bag and tossed it on the guest-room bed. I stared at a blank spot on the wall and thought for what felt like a very long time. I waited for some kind of calm, but it never came. I asked myself what mattered, and the answer was Grace. So I searched Dolf’s kitchen for a flashl
ight. I pulled a shotgun from the gun cabinet, cracked it, loaded it, then saw the handgun. It was an ugly, snub-nosed thing that looked about right. I put the long gun back, lifted out a box of .38 caliber shells and extracted six of them. They were fat, heavy, and slipped into the machined holes as if they’d been greased.

  I paused at the door, knowing that once I stepped outside, there’d be no stopping. The gun was warming in my hand, heavy. Danny’s betrayal shot dark holes through me, dredged up the kind of rage I’d not felt in years. Was I planning to kill him? Maybe. I really didn’t know. But I’d find him. I’d ask some hard damn questions. And by God, he would answer them.

  I went down the hill, across the pasture, and didn’t need the light until I hit the trees. I turned it on and followed the narrow footpath until it intersected the main trail. I put the light on it. Except for the roots that rose above it, it was beaten smooth.

  I went to the hard turn in the trail that Grantham had mentioned, saw the broken branches and bruised vegetation. I followed the ground as it sloped to a shallow depression filled with churned leaves and grasping red earth, a snow angel in the mud.

  I was close to the spot where my father had pulled Grace from the river all those years ago, and as I stared at the signs of her resistance my finger found its way into the trigger guard.

  I passed the boundary of my father’s farm, the river on my left; then the neighboring farm, the first cabin, empty and dark. I kept an eye on it. Nothing. Then I was back in the woods, and the Faith cabin was ahead. A half mile. Fifty yards. And moonlight pushed deeper into the trees.

  Thirty yards out I left the trail. The light was too much, the trees thinning. I found the darkness of the deeper forest, and angled away from the river so that I would cut the clearing above the cabin. I stopped at the edge of the trees, settled into the low growth. I could see everything: the gravel drive, the dark cabin, the car parked at the door, the shed next to the woods.