Driving Tempo

  “It’ll be okay, Rosie,” she had said once her sister’s sobs had died down.

  “How will it possibly be okay?” Rosemary asked thickly as she clung to Lily. “I fell in love with a taken man. I seduced him into having sex with me even though his heart is committed to Kaila, who walked in on us. She. Walked. In. On. Us, Lily. Oh, and let’s not forget the camera guy waltzing in right behind her. My humiliation is going to be all over the show, all over the world. I’ll forever be labeled a home-wrecking slut.”

  Hearing it all laid out like that had made it hard for Lily to offer her sister comfort. “You really don’t know how to do anything by half, do you?” she mused instead.

  Rosemary snorted humorlessly. “No. My life is a train wreck. Get off the tracks now before I take you down with me.”

  “Puh-lease. You should hate me for dragging you on this tour in the first place. You wouldn’t be in this position if it wasn’t for me.”

  “You’re right. Maybe I do hate you.”

  “I would.”

  Rosemary wiped at her damp cheeks. “When I’m not feeling so sorry for myself, I can truthfully say that up until tonight, this has been the best experience of my life. I should thank you now during this moment of clarity because very soon I’ll be wallowing in my misery and you’ll make a handy target.”

  Lily rubbed her back in comforting circles. “I can take it. You really love Sage?”

  “How could I not?”

  Being someone who happened to love Sage as a person, Lily was hard-pressed to argue. She had known all along that this was the likely outcome of the truly terrible plan to lure Kaila out of hiding, but mentioning it now seemed like such a small thing to do.

  “Do you think he loves you?”

  Rosemary shook her head, blinking away more tears.

  “Maybe he does,” Lily offered. “You should at least ask him.”

  “I can’t, Lily. Kaila came here to tell him she wants to be in a committed relationship with him. I heard her tell him as much as I made my walk of shame. He finally has what he wants. He’ll be happy. I just can’t take that from him by confessing my love and confusing things. I love him too much to interfere with his happiness.”

  “Well, that just sucks.”

  Rosemary issued a weak laugh. “Yeah, it does. And you know what’s the most pathetic thing about all of this?”

  “What?”

  “I’m still a One-Hit Wonder.”

  They had ultimately decided that Rosemary should take the first flight home they could arrange. She couldn’t bear to be around Sage and the band doing all of the activities planned on the final tour day, which Lily understood.

  To explain her departure, they made up a story about her having to hurry back to L.A. to handle a wedding crisis. Dane knew the truth of course, but he knew better than to say a word, even when they both saw how miserable Sage looked over the news.

  Kaila had taken the high road and played along with it. Lily grudgingly gave her credit for that. Kaila was sticking to Sage’s side like glue. Noelle kept giving her the stink-eye. Lily thought it was a real possibility the two females would come to blows.

  As long as it’s on camera, her brain snarked.

  “Do you have any idea what happened?” Sydney asked, pulling Lily from her thoughts.

  “Rosemary didn’t have time to get into it. I’ll see what I can find out when I talk to her later.”

  Lily could thank her recently developed acting skills for allowing her to say the lie so smoothly. She knew Sydney would understand if she found out the truth in any case. This story wasn’t something for Lily to share.

  “We’d better get back,” Sydney said. “Two minutes isn’t a lot of time for a break.”

  They had snuck away during a commercial break at the viewing party. “Yeah, come on.”

  Joining the flood of other females entering and exiting the restroom, they met up with Ryan and Barney standing just outside. The party venue was a casino, hardly surprising since they were in Las Vegas. The noises of the machines in play resonated in Lily’s skull as they walked to the room that had been set up for the party. She tried not to gag on the smoke floating around them. It was overpowering, even leaving Sydney looking a little green around the edges.

  They reached their seats just as the show picked back up. Dane took Lily’s hand the moment she sat down. She smiled at him.

  Then her mother’s voice had her gaze snapping up to the large screen.

  “I have no idea why you waited this long to talk to me,” Rhonda said to the camera.

  The label, Rhonda Montgomery - Lily’s mother, appeared beneath her image. Lily’s teeth ground together. Rhonda’s legal last name was Coltrain. Had she told the show it was Montgomery to place herself closer to Lily and possibly gain more notoriety?

  “I’m Lily’s mother,” she went on. “Who else knows more about her than me?”

  A voice from somewhere off the camera said, “What about Archer?”

  Rhonda gave the speaker a derisive look. “Please. Lily’s got him wrapped,” she said, wiggling her pinky at the camera.

  As insulted as Lily was, she had to admit the footage was appropriate to the show. It helped feed into the idea that she was using Archer for his money.

  “She’s an expert at manipulating men,” Rhonda went on, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “She started by convincing my brother to take her in when she was twelve and she’s been at it ever since.”

  Dread crept along Lily’s spine. She lifted her hand and pressed it against her stomach. What was about to air?

  “What did she do to convince him?” Rhonda said, apparently repeating a question asked of her. “Get this. She threw herself off a bridge.”

  All of the feeling leeched from Lily’s face. She kept her focus on the screen and forced a blank expression, aware of the eyes in the room shifting to her. She couldn’t react, but inside she was screaming at her mother for going on camera and airing something so personal. Rhonda hadn’t even had the courtesy to warn her she had done so. Lily wanted to shout at her for that as well as for glossing over the fact that she had been driven to jump from that bridge out of desperation to escape Rhonda’s abuse.

  “She couldn’t stand being one of six kids,” Rhonda said. “I couldn’t give her the attention she wanted, so she got Ray to take her in instead. I washed my hands of her. But now I see her doing the same thing with Archer, convincing him to live with her...marry her...give her all of his attention. I’m telling you, she wasn’t getting anywhere in her life on her own so she decided to use her connection to him to get ahead. Classic Lily.”

  Lily had thought that she was in a place in her life where Rhonda couldn’t hurt her anymore.

  She was wrong.

  Dane leaned closer to her and whispered, “Are you okay?”

  She gave a brief shake of her head. He took her hand in his.

  “She was probably coached to say all of that by the show’s team,” he said into her ear. “It fits the show’s storyline too closely to be organic.”

  That didn’t make it any less painful or humiliating. She wasn’t about to have a drawn-out conversation with him right then. Not with so many people watching them and murmuring while her mother continued to demean her on the screen.

  “As Lily’s mother, I worry about what she’s doing to herself through all of this.” Rhonda managed a reasonably convincing concerned expression. “I think the pressure of keeping up appearances and being one of Hollywood’s darlings has caused her to relapse on some of her more destructive behaviors.”

  What the hell was she going on about now? Lily felt bile churning hotly in her stomach as she stared at Rhonda’s image.

  “I think she’s having eating issues again,” Rhonda said, nodding as though to convince the audience. “She’s had issues on and off...you know, disorders or whatever.”

  Oh, yeah, Lily thought. That was convincing. Disorders or whatever.

  Then the show ran a mo
ntage of scenes. The one where she was throwing up in the restaurant bathroom after her mother slapped her. One where Lily left most of the food on her plate when she and Dane were out to eat because she was too nervous to eat on camera. One when she was at Dane’s parents’ house where she took a couple of small sips of her soup and set it aside. One where they were served an almost inedible meal at a fancy after-party where she refused to eat anything on the plate.

  And on.

  And on.

  By the time the clips finished Lily started to believe that she really did have an eating disorder. The churning maelstrom in her stomach wasn’t helping matters. She was dangerously close to chucking up the veggie pasta she’d eaten for dinner.

  “I know the wedding planning is only adding more stress,” Rhonda said. “That’s why when the tour is over, I intend to do what any good mother would do and take that over for Lily. It’s the least I can do.”

  Lily had to forcibly swallow and block out anything else her mother said. She spent the last few minutes of the episode breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. Dane rubbed her hand in a way that never failed to soothe her. Between both of their efforts, she was fairly certain she looked unaffected as the lights came back up and a smattering of applause filled the room. That didn’t help her from feeling like her skin had been scraped raw, but at least she could pretend everything was fine. Now she just had to figure out how to handle everyone looking at her like a broken puppet master.

  Most of the group that evening included the acts from the tour and their various entourages. A few fans had won invites through one of Lily’s social media contests, and the show’s crew had also invited some execs. She supposed she’d been in worse groups while battling her personal nightmares.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Dane asked her as most of the group rose from their seats and flocked to the bars in either corner of the room.

  “We have to do this,” Lily said, managing to smile at Erica St. James as she walked past. “It’s the last night of the tour. Many of the network’s big-wigs are here. This is pretty much the final footage they’ll get for the season. Actually, it might be better all around if I allow myself to have the breakdown I’m only inches away from having.”

  Her words spurred Dane to take her by the arm and guide her towards the door. If she hadn’t felt so fragile right then, she would have objected. He blew right by several of the execs, completely ignoring their greetings. She knew that wouldn’t go over well with the show’s producers. Still, she gave him no resistance, walking robotically beside him as he signaled to Trey and Ryan and guided her out of the room.

  The smell of smoke smacked her in the face as they entered the casino. The nausea she’d been battling made a swift comeback.

  “I need the restroom,” she said, but she immediately knew she wasn’t going to make it.

  Turning, she looked for the closest place to be sick. Ryan appeared by her side holding a small trash can. He barely got it in front of her in time. She heaved violently, repeatedly. Her stomach cramps surged in horrible waves. It felt like someone had doused her insides with burning acid.

  Through it all, she knew she was in a public place filled with curious onlookers armed with cameras. She knew that it was likely the House of Archer crew was filming her right then, just as she knew this would only help shore up the eating disorder rumors Rhonda had just started.

  The physical agony and utter humiliation of it all had tears filling her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. Was this really what her life had become?

  After a few minutes, the waves subsided. She no longer had anything in her stomach to keep down. As disgusting as it was, though, she didn’t want to pull her head out of the used trash can. She didn’t want to face reality.

  “Okay, now,” Dane said, gently prying the can away from her. “Okay, Lily. You’re going to be okay. Come on. I’ve got you.”

  She curled into him, hiding her face. It made her a coward but she was beyond caring. She needed him to take care of her just as she knew he needed the same thing.

  When he picked her up, she simply held on. She heard the sounds of the casino rise and fade. She felt warm air as they transitioned out into the night. The sounds transitioned to typical transportation and pedestrian noises...wheels gliding along pavement, horns honking, brakes squealing, people talking and laughing.

  It was a while before they stopped. She ended up settled somewhere on Dane’s lap. Even then, she didn’t immediately lift her head. She did finally open her eyes. It was dark enough to tell her they had stopped somewhere other than in front of one of the big hotels on the Strip. She heard people strolling by, none of them seeming to pay them any attention.

  The sound of bells chiming finally prompted her to take a better look around. She lifted her head. Dane’s hand immediately went to her hair in a soothing gesture. Thankfully, she had worn it up that evening so it had been spared any spatter.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked when she looked at him.

  “Shitty. And my breath is truly atrocious.”

  A shiny, silver-wrapped piece of gum appeared almost magically in front of her. Lily took it and gave Ryan a wan smile. He also had a history of stomach ailments induced by stress, which was probably how he’d known to get the can for her in the casino.

  “Thanks,” she murmured, taking the gum, unwrapping it, and sticking it in her mouth.

  He took the wrapper from her and eased back into the shadows, where she assumed Trey also stood. It hardly offered her and Dane privacy, but she could appreciate them attempting the illusion.

  “Where are we?” she asked.

  Dane shrugged. “No idea. I walked until people stopped staring.”

  She couldn’t see much. They were sitting on a short concrete half-wall within a small alcove of trees. It was like a small, secluded oasis that she figured was attached to one of the many enormous hotel-casinos near the one they’d been in for the party. Numerous people walked by, blissfully ignorant of the two of them in the shadows.

  The sound of delighted laughter had her searching for the source through their small window to the world. She watched as two brides in full gowns and veils danced past beaming brilliant smiles. They both wore signs on their backs reading, “Just Married!”

  “Why can’t we just be them?” she asked.

  “You want to marry a woman?”

  She elbowed him in the side, but he’d made her smile. “No, I want to marry you. We’re in Las Vegas. Why don’t we just get married here? Now? You know I never wanted a big wedding, and if we get married here I won’t have to deal with my mother and the rest of my family. I wouldn’t have to spend the next month in planning hell. Two birds and all that.”

  He continued to stroke her hair and leaned down to press his lips to the top of her head. “Is that really what you want?”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to say yes. She knew he would do it in a heartbeat. She wasn’t ignorant of his insecurity and worry that she might change her mind about marrying him. This would be the ideal opportunity to take advantage of it.

  “Your mother would never forgive us,” she heard herself saying.

  “Sure she would. We’re her only children and she wants grandkids.”

  Once again, she found herself smiling. “Well, maybe she’d forgive us. But I’ve got so much planned for the show with the footage we’ll get over the next few weeks. We’ve got to go shopping for an engagement ring so I can pretend I want the most expensive ring on the market, and we still haven’t argued about whether or not to have a prenup.”

  Dane went still. “A prenup?”

  Oops. She hadn’t shared that tidbit with him yet.

  “We’re not having a prenup,” he said firmly before she could reply.

  She tilted her head to look up at him. “Seriously? You’re filthy rich, Dane Archer. You need a prenup.”

  “No, I don’t. What’s mine is yours.”

  “But—”
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  “Are you planning to leave me?”

  She alone knew how serious the question was. Dane was his own worst enemy when it came to fearing the worst and thinking he wasn’t worth everything people seemed to think he was.

  Placing her hand along his cheek, she whispered, “Of course not.”

  His dark eyes searched hers. “Then please don’t argue with me about this. I always knew if I fell in love with a woman and decided to marry her it would be someone I trusted implicitly. I should have known years ago it would be you.”

  She sighed, knowing she’d lost this argument. “Fine. But I really think we should take opposite views on this when the cameras are rolling. It’ll make a better impact if you’re insisting we need to have a prenup and I’m begging you not to.”

  His jaw flexed and released. “I don’t want to talk about the show. Right now I wish I’d never met Elijah Long.”

  She knew he was upset because of how she’d reacted to that night’s viewing. How could she try and convince him not to be? If their roles were reversed, she’d feel the same way.

  “Elijah didn’t tell Rhonda what to say,” Lily pointed out. “I know she came up with those sparkling gems all on her own. All the show’s producers did was take full advantage of the psych ward that is my family.”

  His hold on her tightened but he didn’t respond.

  “I didn’t have to like it to know it was great show material,” she added. “We’ve been saying we need someone else to take some of the pressure off us to generate content. Enter Rhonda.”

  “Just stop,” he said with some heat. “What she said made you sick, Lily. Physically sick. She’s the only one who has that power over you. If you think I’m going to allow the show to continue to air things like that—”

  “You have to,” she interrupted. “You really have to, Dane. It’s good for the show. This isn’t any different than all of the negative stuff already airing about me.”

  “Yes it is,” he argued.

  “Why?”

  “Because it made you cry,” he said loud enough to have heads turning from the nearby sidewalk. “Because you were standing in a lobby full of people heaving your guts out into a trash can. Because watching you suffer like that absolutely killed me, Lily.”