Initiative

  Darryl hoped he didn’t cry. He teared up a little during their collaring, because it—both sadly and happily—felt far more poignant and powerful than his wedding had.

  He’d prepared something to say because Grant had asked him to, and Grant had told him he’d give him the cue to speak.

  Grant stroked Susie’s hair. “When I collared Darryl, I promised him it was for life. That I would take care of him, that I would love him, that I would never take him for granted. That he would be my most precious possession, and he would always be my heart and soul.

  “That wasn’t a lie. And it’s still true. We wouldn’t be here tonight if you were anyone but you. I’ve loved both of you for over half my life now, since we were, what, fourteen? Thirteen? I never thought we’d see you again. Then you walked back into our lives and it was like time never skipped those two decades. And I knew the only thing missing from our lives was you.”

  He nodded to Darryl, who already felt himself tearing up.

  Darryl tried to remember exactly what he’d written and gave up. What Grant had said was too perfect, so much better than what he’d wanted to say.

  He’d go off the book. “There once was this awkward teenage boy who had these two amazing friends, a boy and a girl,” he said. “Friends who never judged him, who were never mean to him, who always had his back. Two people who made life perfect. Two people he loved. And then the boy grew up and was stupid enough to let the girl slip through his hands.

  “One week became a month, and then a year went by before he realized he hadn’t tried to find the girl. Then he went and did something really stupid and married a woman his other friend, his best friend, hinted wasn’t the best choice. But he did it because he was scared. Because he didn’t just love his best friend, he loved his best friend, was in love with him, and didn’t know what that meant. He worried it might scare the friend away, and he didn’t want to lose both the boy and the girl, because he knew it would break his heart in ways he didn’t even fully understand at the time.

  “Meanwhile, life happened. When the woman wasn’t in the picture anymore, his best friend still was. Finally, he could quit being scared and actually love his best friend. And they were really, really happy.

  “One day, they went to a reunion, and there she was.”

  He saw Grant brushing tears away. Then when Darryl looked down at Susie and saw her tears, he didn’t bother trying to hide his own any longer.

  “The girl was there, and she looked so sad and so lonely it broke both of their hearts. All they wanted to do was love her. The way they wished they’d loved her for all those years, because for all those years, they’d both been in love with her and missed her like hell.

  “And then they made the girl smile, and they both swore they’d keep making her smile, every day, for the rest of her life and theirs. And they lived happily ever after. With whips and chains and stuff to keep it even more fun.”

  Through the titter of laughter in the audience, he heard someone loudly sniffle and glanced over to see Gilo handing Tilly a box of tissues.

  He pulled the cuff out of his pocket. “Will you please let us spend the rest of our lives making you smile? Loving you? Because we won’t lose you again.”

  Susie nodded, brushing her own tears away with her right hand as she held her left up to him for him to fasten the cuff around it.

  He leaned in and kissed her, then kissed Grant. “Thank you, Master,” he said.

  Grant cupped his hand around the back of Darryl’s neck. “Thank you,” he said.

  Then Grant took the collar from the velvet bag it was in, showing it to her. “You have been through so much more than most people could deal with, and you kept your head high, and you survived. I don’t ever want you to forget John. I don’t want to replace him—neither of us do. That’s why I want your right cuff to still be the one you wear, the one he gave you. Because I think it should be. If it wasn’t for you meeting him, you might never have found your way back to us. Or you might not have been able to accept us for who we are now.

  “Everything that happened led to us coming together. I will always be thankful to him for protecting you, taking care of you, loving you. Even though I never got to meet him, he will always have a place of love and honor in my heart. Because if he loved you, and you loved him, he had to be pretty damn special.

  “I’m offering you this collar because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you, taking care of you, protecting you, cherishing you. I love you every bit as much as I love Darryl, and I can’t imagine a better life than for the three of us to spend it together. So will you please accept this collar as a token of not just my love, but our love? And as a symbol of our promise to you to try to make you smile every day? With, you know, whips and chains and stuff.”

  Darryl laughed with everyone else. How could he not? Especially not when Grant looked at him and winked.

  “Yes, Sir,” she said. “Please.”

  Grant fastened the collar around her neck, then produced the charm bracelet. “This is our day collar to you. And I say our, even though I am Master to both of you, because Darryl helped me pick things out.”

  Darryl watched as Grant explained to her why they’d picked each charm, leaving the birthstones for last.

  When she broke down crying at the one for John, he felt a nudge and looked to see Loren handing him a box of tissues. She looked like she was crying too, and he gratefully pulled several from the box, passing some to Susie before blowing his own nose.

  Susie nodded and held up her right wrist for Grant to fasten the charm bracelet. He knelt, putting it on her lower than her cuff before kissing her.

  When Grant helped her to her feet, he pulled Darryl and her both in for a long hug. “I love you both,” Grant said, sounding choked up. “And I mean it. This is, as far as I’m concerned, for life.”

  “Thank you, Master,” they both said, laughing and hugging him even harder.

  * * * *

  Grant gave Susie a couple of minutes to get hugs and talk with friends before he called her over to one of the benches, where he’d already laid out a towel.

  This was the part she was really nervous about. She’d agreed to ten cane strokes, hard ones, but she wasn’t sure how well she’d do.

  She still wasn’t a fan of the cane even though the few times he’d used it on her, she’d found herself getting wet from the pain as if it was a bare-handed spanking or some less severe implement.

  After she stripped, she laid down on the bench. She wouldn’t be tied down for this, because Grant wanted her willingly submitting to the cane strokes, not restrained and forced to take them.

  It had to be her choice.

  She closed her eyes and felt Darryl’s comforting presence hovering next to her. When Grant touched the cane to her ass, laying it across both ass cheeks, she flinched.

  “You agreed to ten, sweetheart,” he said in Dom tone.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Count them.” That was the only warning he gave her before the first one sliced into her.

  She gasped as the pain took a second to catch up with the actual impact. “One, Sir…”

  He took his time, letting her recover between them, Darryl softly whispering encouragement to her, telling her what a good girl she was.

  By the time the tenth was over and she counted, she was ready for a good, hard cry—

  Except one of her men then pressed a vibrator against her clit and flipped the switch.

  In an instant, her gasps of pain turned into deep moans of pleasure as an orgasm slammed into her. The men kept her coming for what felt like forever until she finally had trouble catching her breath and called yellow.

  The men immediately shut the vibrator off, swaddling her in a blanket. Grant scooped her up and carried her to one of the couches while Darryl gathered their stuff, joining them moments later.

  As she surfed her subspace high while stretched out across both men’s laps, she knew she would ask f
or the cane more often.

  Because she also knew that she’d be feeling this for several days, and she’d think of her men every time she did.

  Grant smiled down at her. “How do you feel, sweetheart?”

  “Like I’ve been given a second chance at life and I don’t want to waste it.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Grant wasn’t sure what to expect when he went to Ed’s office late Wednesday afternoon. Ed apparently didn’t know the content of the letter, but when he’d said it might be better if Grant read it alone, that told Grant the man had an inkling of its message.

  The office was completely deserted when he arrived, except for Ed, who let him in and locked the front door behind him.

  “Why do I get a bad feeling about this?”

  “I doubt it’s bad,” Ed said, “but when John gave me the letters, it wasn’t long after we lost Kaden. He knew about it because we were John’s attorneys, and we notified all our clients of Kaden’s death.” He stopped and turned to Grant. “You know who Kaden was, right?”

  “Yeah. I wasn’t real close to him, but I’d chatted with him a couple of times over the years. I know Seth and Leah better than I did Kaden. Why?”

  Ed resumed leading the way to his office. “Because after Kaden died, I got a flood of people—our kinky friends—contacting me about updating their wills. Wanting me to deliver messages post-mortem, the way Kaden had asked me to do.”

  The attorney rounded his desk and sat. “Frankly, as much as I loved the man, I’m beginning to hate the precedent Kaden set. Not hate that he inspired people to do things, but the burden it lays upon me as the attorney for so many of them to handle stuff like this.”

  Ed leaned back in his chair. “Yes, to answer your question that I wouldn’t answer earlier, I knew John and Susan were into BDSM. John told me. He also asked me not to reveal that I knew that to Susan unless she broached the topic with me first.”

  “Why?”

  “Because the whole reason they weren’t publicly involved with the Suncoast Society was her fear. He was happy with the way things were. How do you think we met? Before he met her, he was coming to the original Suncoast Society munches and the private parties, before Venture was ever opened.”

  “And he never told her any of that?”

  “He didn’t want to out anyone. He didn’t lie to her, he just didn’t give her details. He also didn’t want her feeling nervous if she happened to accidentally meet anyone who was in the lifestyle in a vanilla setting. Not saying I completely agree with how he handled all of that, but they were happy and married for sixteen years. I’d say he did something right.”

  “Yeah.” Grant spotted an envelope lying on top of the folder. “That it?”

  “Yeah.” Ed picked it up. “Do you want to be alone when you read it?”

  Grant stared at it. “Honestly? No.” He didn’t reach for it. “Do you think I’m up to this?”

  “Up to what?”

  “To taking care of her the way she deserves?”

  “Uh, yeah. I haven’t seen her this happy since before John died. You and Darryl have literally given her her life back. If I didn’t think you two were good for her I would have been sitting down with Kristin and her husband and planning our intervention already. I damn sure never would have let you guys collar her.”

  Ed leaned forward, holding the envelope out.

  Grant finally leaned in and took it, sitting back. In a legal-sized envelope, it felt like more than one page folded inside. On the front, in a neat, handwritten script was written, To My Wife’s New Partner.

  “‘New partner?’”

  “He said he wasn’t sure if she’d ever get married again or not.” He shrugged. “John was very practical in many ways. I was to hold this back until she was with someone in a relationship of some permanence, no matter what form that took.”

  Grant carefully slipped a finger under the corner of the flap and gently eased it open. It didn’t feel right just ripping it open and destroying the envelope in the process.

  Inside lay several sheets of yellow legal paper, covered with handwriting. When he pulled them out, he found they were wrapped around a much smaller envelope.

  On the front of that, in John’s handwriting, was the inscription, Give to Ed please.

  He snorted.

  “What?” Ed asked.

  Grant smirked as he handed the smaller envelope over.

  “Oh, goddammit.” He sounded more resigned than upset. “I’ll wait to read it until you’re done.” He laid it on top of the folder on his desk.

  Smoothing the sheets out in his lap, Grant started reading. John had numbered the pages, making it easy to follow along.

  Hey, there.

  I don’t know who you are, but if you’re reading this letter, it means that Ed has given it to you because you are now an important part of Susie’s life. I would appreciate it if you’d return the letter to him after you read it. I’m hoping it will never be needed again, but…

  If you’re reading this, obviously it means I died before her. Because life is short and unpredictable, I wanted the ability to “talk” to anyone who is an important part of her life. Or, who knows, maybe things won’t work out between you guys. (Believe me, I hope it does, but again, life is uncertain.)

  I don’t know to what extent Susie’s confided in you about the kind of relationship she and I have. Well, had. She is, for starters, the absolute love of my life. I would die for her, if necessary, to keep her safe. I cherish her. I adore her with every ounce of my being. I knew she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with when I married her.

  Apparently, I did.

  So what I say next, please keep an open mind about. We have a consensual BDSM relationship. I am her Master, and she is my collared slave.

  What do I mean by that? I don’t mean she’s my doormat. She’s anything but a doormat. She is my business partner as well as my life partner, and I couldn’t be prouder of her. I do not abuse her. She enjoys certain kinds of sexual play, and impact play, and outside of the bedroom we have a well-defined set of rules and rituals that she abides by. Maybe this is something you already do with her. Maybe it’s news to you. I can’t know that, obviously.

  What I do know is that she feels safe and secure when she knows that bond is in place. She enjoys the structure of it. It can even be as simple as her kneeling before me every morning and every night and reciting our ritual. (If she wants to tell you what that is exactly, that’s her call.)

  Maybe you already know this about her and that’s why she’s chosen you.

  Either way, keep this in mind—she is not a weak person. But there is a part of her that craves the security that being owned mentally and emotionally gives her. Is it because of the shitty relationship with her parents? Who knows? I’m not a shrink.

  Don’t ever mistake her submission to you as weakness. She is one of the smartest, strongest people I know, and for her to trust you enough to give you that kind of control over her takes a lot of strength on her part. Never take her for granted. Never forget how special she is. She will be absolutely and completely devoted to you. All she asks for in return is that you never violate the trust she’s placed in you.

  I won’t say I was perfect. I’m not narcissistic. I know I stumbled and made mistakes along the way, especially early on. Maybe I should have tried to push her a little more out of her comfort zone and gotten involved in the local BDSM community again. I don’t know. Before I met her, I was involved with a group whom Ed knows. You can talk to him. I’m guessing he probably still has connections there and can introduce you to people, if you aren’t part of that group already.

  She was terrified of us being outed. More for my sake than hers, actually. She worried about what people would think of me. Frankly, I didn’t give a shit what people thought about me, but in that way, I did cave to her.

  I always worried if I went before her how she would get on without the structure, without the emotional sa
fety our dynamic and our relationship gave her. Without friends who “knew” about this part of us to help her through it. Hopefully Ed and Kristin and others have been there for her. I don’t know how long it’s been since I died, but I hope she hasn’t suffered alone in that time.

  Please, love her. Cherish her. Protect her. Don’t be afraid to own her, and don’t be afraid to give her what she needs. If you aren’t experienced in BDSM, Ed can give you a lot of contacts to help you through that part, if you aren’t into it already. It’s not about just beating someone or ordering them around. It’s about understanding what they need and giving it to them.

  I’ll admit I’m a little bit of a sadist. I love spanking her, and then making her orgasm until she has to safeword. I love tying her up. There are a lot of things that, if you talk to her and ask her about them, she’ll tell you. Even if just for her sake, find out what those things are and learn about them. You might find you grow to like them, too, when you see her reactions to them.

  If you can’t take care of her like that, then do her and yourself a favor and end things now. Don’t lead her on. Don’t give it a try even though you loathe it. She won’t be happy in the long run if she doesn’t have that. Vanilla just doesn’t do it for her. Being kinky is hardwired into her brain the way it is hardwired into my brain. Better to admit it before you waste good years of her life and yours forcing something that’s doomed.

  If you can do this, though, just know that you’ll have the best woman who ever walked the face of the planet at your side. Intelligent, sweet, beautiful—my very good girl.

  Please love her and take good care of her. She’s my most precious possession and all I want for her is to be happy and safe and loved.

  I left her a letter for Ed to give to her upon my passing. You’re free to read that as well, if she wants you to. The gist of it was that I wanted her to go on and find love again, to find a new Master who was worthy of her. You can let her read this, if you want. If you’re good enough for her, if she loves and trusts you, and if Ed had cleared it, then you have my blessings to be her new Master.