The Dark Side of the Road

  ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ I said. ‘Not until I know who killed my Colonel.’

  Sylvia sighed and threw a dramatic glance Heavenwards. ‘Why are the good men always so stubborn? Are you sure I can’t tempt you?’

  ‘No,’ I said.

  ‘So, it would appear I’m staying after all,’ said Sylvia. ‘You were the only one I thought might have the guts to make a break for it. Ah well.’ She turned to leave.

  ‘Wait a moment,’ I said quickly. ‘Who do you think the killer is?’

  ‘Haven’t a clue,’ she said. ‘I don’t know these people. I barely know Diana. I’d better get back to her. I only popped out for a moment, while she was sleeping. I don’t want her to wake up alone.’

  ‘But you would have left her here, if I’d agreed to go with you,’ I said.

  ‘It’s all about survival, sweetie,’ said Sylvia. ‘I’ve always been able to do what’s necessary, to survive.’

  ‘Tell me,’ I said. ‘Have you heard someone walking up and down, in the corridor?’

  She looked at me sharply. ‘I wasn’t sure … I thought I might be imagining it. Have you seen anyone?’

  ‘No,’ I said.

  Sylvia shrugged, bestowed one last dazzling smile on me, and left, shutting the door very quietly behind her.

  Penny was immediately out of the cupboard again. ‘What a cow! Ready to just go charging off and abandon Diana, and leave everyone here trapped in the house with a killer! After everything Diana’s done for her! And after everyone here went out of their way to make her feel at home! Survival … Yes, I know her type! I really must remember to say something especially catty and cutting to her over breakfast tomorrow. Look, I have to go, Ishmael. Before anyone else turns up.’

  ‘Keep your door locked,’ I said.

  ‘Are you kidding? Of course I’m going to lock my door! I won’t be able to sleep tonight. I’m going to jam a chair up against the door, and then sit up all night with a really absorbing book. While keeping a poker from the fireplace close at hand at all times!’

  And with one last quick smile, she was gone. My room seemed so much quieter, and emptier, without her.

  I sat and thought, about everything I’d learned so far. I might not be a detective, but everyone else seemed to be going out of their way to help. They all had their own theories and suspicions, their own secrets and surprises, and a need to place the blame squarely on somebody else. I was now in possession of some interesting background information I hadn’t been aware of before, which helped me to understand these people better. But nothing particularly useful. I was still no closer to understanding who had killed the Colonel and why.

  There was another knock. I looked at the door. I was getting just a bit tired of visitors. I had to struggle for a moment, to think who was left.

  ‘Come in,’ I said.

  The door opened, and Melanie stepped inside. She shut the door quickly and gave me a brief, preoccupied smile.

  ‘I can’t stay long,’ she said. ‘Or Walter will miss me. I’ve only just got him settled; I don’t want him to wake up and find me gone. I’ve got Jeeves standing outside his door, with his gun at the ready … I really believed he was just a replacement butler! And a sight better than some we’ve had … You know, you could stand up when a lady enters your room …’

  ‘I’m tired,’ I said. ‘What do you want, Melanie?’

  ‘I never knew James. Your Colonel. He was Walter’s son, from long before my time. James belonged to Walter’s life with Diana, and I always stopped listening whenever he started to talk about that. Until he learned not to. I think you should keep a careful eye on Diana. I think she wants my Walter back. And the house, of course. And everything that goes with it. She still thinks of this house as hers. And I believe she’d do anything, absolutely anything, to get what she wants.’

  ‘Does that remind you of anyone?’ I said.

  ‘No,’ said Melanie. ‘Should it?’

  She didn’t seem to get the inference, so I moved on. ‘Do you really think Diana would murder her own son?’

  ‘I don’t know what to think,’ said Melanie. ‘Nothing in this house makes sense any more …’

  ‘How do you feel about Alexander Khan?’ I said bluntly.

  Melanie was immediately defensive. ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘Do you see him as a suspect?’ I said.

  ‘Oh, I see,’ said Melanie. ‘Well, I don’t know … I wish Walter had never invited any of these people. We should have celebrated Christmas alone, just the two of us, like I wanted. Everything was going fine until all these people turned up! Excitement like this is very bad for Walter … I won’t have him upset! He needs his peace and quiet.’

  ‘Why did you come to see me?’ I said.

  ‘To warn you about Diana,’ Melanie said firmly.

  ‘That’s it?’ I said.

  ‘Isn’t that enough?’ said Melanie.

  She turned her back on me and strode out, closing the door behind her very firmly, as though to cut off any comment I might make. I wasn’t sure what to make of Melanie. Could any woman really be as self-centred as she appeared to be? Perhaps only a woman that self-centred could carry out a murder right in the middle of a family gathering. She did seem very protective of Walter; if she saw him threatened by James’ return … Or saw her own position with Walter threatened by James and Diana … I was still thinking my way through that, when there was another knock at my door.

  Before I could say anything, the door burst open and Jeeves and Cook strode in together. Cook kept a watchful eye on me, while Jeeves peered back out into the corridor, to check no one was watching. He closed the door, and then the two of them took up a position side by side before me, shoulder to shoulder, as though they belonged together. The tall black butler and the short blonde cook. Except they no longer looked like a butler or a cook; they looked a lot more like soldiers.

  ‘Good evening,’ I said. ‘Do come in. No doubt you’re wondering why I summoned you here …’

  ‘Flippancy will get you nowhere,’ said Jeeves. ‘It’s time for the truth to come out.’

  ‘I’m all in favour of that,’ I said.

  ‘Leilah and I are a husband and wife security team,’ said Jeeves. ‘We were hired to provide security for Mister Walter Belcourt, for this weekend get-together. Things seem to have got a little out of hand.’

  ‘So we thought it was time we asked you a few leading questions,’ said Leilah. She produced a small handgun from her Victorian cook’s outfit and aimed it at me. She looked like she knew how to use a gun. I sat very still.

  ‘Leilah and I always work together on assignments,’ said Jeeves. ‘One obviously, the other less so.’

  ‘We’re here to interrogate you,’ said Leilah.

  ‘Is that so?’ I said. ‘Why me in particular?’

  ‘You’re the outsider,’ said Leilah. ‘No one here knows you. You claim to work for the deceased James Belcourt, but we only have your word for that. I’ll bet you don’t even have a Security ID, do you?’

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘The Organization I work for doesn’t officially exist. People who need to know, know who we are.’

  ‘Well,’ said Leilah. ‘You would say that, wouldn’t you?’

  ‘You can see why you make such a good suspect,’ said Jeeves.

  ‘Of course,’ I said. ‘I’m sure I’d do the same, in your shoes. Those are your shoes, aren’t they? Good. What can I do for you?’

  ‘He’s being flippant again,’ said Leilah.

  ‘Ask the questions,’ said Jeeves.

  ‘Ask away,’ I said.

  ‘You can start by telling us everything about yourself,’ said Leilah. ‘Who you really are, who you really work for, and what you’re really doing here. Everything we need to know, to protect our client. You talk, and we’ll tell you when to stop.’

  ‘And if I don’t care to do that?’ I said.

  Leilah grinned nastily. ‘Then I will beat it out of you. I’m rea
lly very good at that. Ask Jeeves.’

  I looked at him. ‘You’d let her do that to me? A possibly entirely innocent bystander?’

  ‘Let her?’ said Jeeves. ‘I plan to stand well back to avoid getting blood on me, take notes and cheer her on as necessary. We’re not police, we’re not government, and the only rules we follow are our own. That’s how we get results.’

  Leilah waggled her gun at me, in a meaningful manner. ‘Start talking.’

  I came up off the end of the bed in a rush, slapped the gun out of Leilah’s hand, grabbed her by the front of her cook’s outfit, and threw her on to the bed. She hit it with enough force to drive the breath out of her. Jeeves was already going for his gun as I closed in on him. I grabbed his arm with one hand and squeezed the muscle until he groaned with agony. All the strength went out of his hand, and the gun dropped from his nerveless fingers. I caught it, and then grabbed Jeeves by the front of his butler’s outfit and threw him on to the bed, next to Leilah, who was only just getting her breath back. I picked up her gun from the floor, and then stood at the end of the bed, training both guns on their previous owners. I wasn’t even breathing hard. Jeeves and Leilah glared at me from the bed and didn’t move a muscle.

  ‘Damn,’ said Jeeves. ‘You’re fast. And very well-trained. All right; I’m convinced. To be able to take us down that easily, you must work for the Organization.’

  ‘And, I am not a suspect,’ I said.

  Leilah scowled at me. ‘You can say anything you like while you’re covering us with our own guns. But you’re still a suspect. It would take someone as cold-blooded and expertly trained as an Organization agent to kill James Belcourt in such an extreme way.’

  ‘I thought we’d agreed I couldn’t have been here when the Colonel was killed?’ I said.

  Jeeves did his best to shrug, while lying on his back. ‘The cold changes everything. Who knows when he was killed, really?’

  ‘Fair enough,’ I said. I tossed both their guns back to them, and they caught them expertly, out of mid air.

  ‘Please get up off my bed,’ I said. ‘You make the place look untidy.’

  Jeeves and Leilah rolled off different sides of the bed and were immediately on their feet again, each with a gun in hand aimed at me. I raised an eyebrow. Jeeves and Leilah looked at each other, as though each was hoping the other would have some idea what to do. In the end, they both shrugged more or less simultaneously and put their guns away.

  Leilah looked at me defiantly. ‘I suppose you expect us to trust you, just because you’ve given us our guns back?’

  ‘I don’t trust anyone in this house,’ I said. ‘And neither should you. Tell me, before you go. Who do you think killed the Colonel?’

  ‘We only care about that as it pertains to protecting our client,’ said Jeeves. ‘Are you sure the attack on the son is connected to the father?’

  ‘Don’t you think that?’ I said.

  ‘I strongly suggest you stay in your room until morning,’ said Jeeves. ‘And lock your door. I’ve managed to contact my people, and they’re hoping to have someone here by tomorrow. Leilah and I will spend the night standing guard in the hallway. Perfectly ready to open fire on anything that moves that isn’t us.’

  ‘I was surprised to see both of you up here,’ I said. ‘Leaving poor Walter unattended.’

  ‘Melanie has the door locked,’ said Leilah. ‘And with the whole place shut down, we can hear anybody moving about.’

  ‘Really?’ I said. ‘You weren’t my first visitors tonight. I’ve spoken to several people, and they all reported hearing someone moving about up here, in the corridor. But whenever someone went to look, there was never anybody to be seen.’

  Jeeves and Leilah looked at each other. ‘Have you seen anyone moving about up here, Ishmael?’ said Jeeves.

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘But I’ve heard someone.’

  ‘It’s an old house,’ said Jeeves. ‘Maybe it’s haunted.’

  Leilah winced. ‘Don’t. I hate ghosts.’

  They left together, and I locked the door behind them. And then I went and sat in the most comfortable-looking chair and thought hard for a long time.

  Some time later, my head snapped up. I sniffed the air and was up on my feet in a moment. I hurried over to my door, unlocked it, and hauled it open. I sniffed the air again. The next door but one to mine opened, and Penny looked out. She hadn’t changed out of her day clothes, and she had a heavy iron poker in her hand.

  ‘Oh, it’s you!’ she said. ‘I thought I heard someone on the move, and this time I heard a door opening, so I thought I’d take a look. What’s wrong? Why are you looking like that?’

  ‘Can you smell anything?’ I said. ‘Like meat burning?’

  Penny sniffed hard, and then shook her head. She looked at me doubtfully. ‘We’re a long way from the kitchens, Ishmael.’

  And then we both looked round sharply as a horrible scream sounded from the far end of the corridor, by the stairs. Penny and I ran towards it.

  Eight

  Blood Will Have Blood

  Penny and I were halfway down the corridor when another door swung suddenly open, and Alexander Khan looked out. He was wearing a stylish and very colourful dressing gown, entirely ordinary slippers, and a confused look on his face. His normally slicked-back hair was all over the place. He’d clearly managed to get some sleep and was only half awake now.

  ‘What’s going on?’ he said roughly. ‘Did I hear … Did somebody scream?’

  I didn’t have the time to answer him, and Penny didn’t seem inclined to. We ran on down the corridor. Khan stumbled after us. Jeeves and Leilah were already pounding up the stairs, gun in hand, their faces professionally focused. They reached the top of the stairs just as Penny and I got to the end of the corridor. A quick glance back past them showed me Walter and Melanie, standing together at the foot of the stairs in matching battered old dressing gowns. Walter was demanding to know what was going on, his voice loud but his eyes vague, while Melanie did her best to hush and comfort him. Walter would have none of it. He started up the stairs, moving as quickly as he could, leaning heavily on his walking stick. Melanie followed him up, if only because she didn’t want to be left on her own.

  And finally, I looked at the door at the end of the corridor. Sylvia was staring through the open doorway into a room full of darkness, her face full of horror. She turned abruptly to look at me with wide shocked eyes. She’d stopped screaming now, but probably only because she had both hands pressed to her mouth. I took a moment to look her over, to make sure she was unharmed. Sylvia was wearing an expensive silk wrap, but no curlers in her hair or cream on her face. She didn’t look like she’d been sleeping. She gestured frantically at the room before her, unable to force the words out. I took her by the shoulders and moved her gently to one side. She stumbled and almost fell, but Penny was there to catch her and hold her up as I peered through the dark opening.

  ‘Stay with her, Penny,’ I said.

  ‘Hell with that,’ said Penny. She checked Sylvia could stand unsupported, and then moved quickly forward to stand beside me, peering into the dark beyond the doorway. Light falling in from the corridor didn’t travel far.

  Jeeves and Leilah finally arrived.

  ‘Stay where you are!’ I said sharply. ‘You need to keep everyone else out of this room. We can’t risk contaminating a crime scene.’ I turned to Penny. ‘Whose room is this? Who’s in there?’

  ‘This is Roger’s room,’ she said steadily. ‘He invited me in, earlier, but I didn’t want to go. This isn’t going to be good, is it?’

  ‘No,’ I said.

  ‘Is Roger dead, do you think?’

  ‘It seems likely,’ I said. ‘Someone in this room is dead. I can tell.’

  The light was off in Roger’s room, and with the shutters closed over the window there was no interior light at all. Just the darkness, hiding something, like a child with a nasty secret. I could smell burnt meat, clearer than ever. I could
hear flames crackling, quietly, but there was no light from the room’s fireplace.

  Penny crowded in beside me, but made no move to push past me. ‘I can smell something burning now,’ she said quietly. ‘Where’s the light switch?’

  I reached inside the doorway and fumbled around till I found the switch. I turned the light on, and Penny cried out, despite herself.

  A blackened, charred body sat in a chair by the cold fireplace, facing the door. The body’s clothes had mostly burned away, and the exposed flesh was scorched and cracked. The face was an unrecognizable mess. Teeth gleamed whitely in the ragged mouth. The eyes were gone. I moved quickly forward into the room, ripped the top blanket off the bed, and threw it over the body. I pressed down hard, but I already knew it was too late. I heard bones crack, from where I pressed down too hard. I let go of the blanket and stepped back.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said to Penny.

  She swallowed hard. Her face was pale, but when she finally spoke her voice was steady. ‘This is Roger’s room, but can we be sure that’s him?’

  ‘Good point,’ I said. ‘It’s getting so I don’t trust anything in this house.’

  I pulled back one side of the blanket, just enough to uncover the charred right hand. A little smoke rose up. I found a gold signet ring; huge and flashy. I showed it to Penny, and she nodded quickly.

  ‘Yes. I know that ring. He was so proud of it, always so keen to show it off, and I was always rude about it because it was ugly. That’s Roger.’ She stopped talking and shook her head briefly, her mouth compressed into a flat line, and then she looked unflinchingly at the body. ‘I won’t cry now. Not when there’s so much that needs to be done. I’ll cry later, when there’s time. I promise you, Roger.’ She looked angrily at me. ‘Who would want to kill Roger, of all people? He isn’t important, not like your Colonel. I don’t think Roger had an enemy in the world.’