Junie B. Jones Is a Party Animal

  “Beg for my poodle,” she said. “You promised, remember? You promised to beg for my poodle.”

  Me and that Grace looked and looked at each other. ’Cause we didn’t actually want to do that particular thing.

  Lucille poked us.

  “Come on! You promised!” she whispered. “You promised to beg!”

  I did a sigh.

  Then I thinked and thinked about what to say.

  Finally, I took a deep breath.

  “Hey, Nanna. Guess what? Lucille wants a poodle, apparently. And so could you buy her one, do you think?” I asked.

  “Yes, could you?” asked that Grace. “’Cause she is making us beg you. Or else we can’t spend the night.”

  The nanna’s mouth came all the way open.

  “Ohhhh. So that’s what this is all about, huh? Well, my granddaughter knows perfectly well that I am allergic to dogs. So you can tell Lucille that a poodle is out of the question, I’m afraid.”

  I patted Lucille very understanding.

  “A poodle is out of the question, we’re afraid,” I said.

  Lucille kicked her feet up and down.

  “Beg harder,” she whispered. “You have to beg harder.”

  I did a frown.

  “Are you firm on that, Nanna?” I asked.

  “No poodle, Lucille!” said the nanna very snappish.

  Lucille kicked her feet some more.

  “I knew that dumb idea wouldn’t work!” she grouched.

  Just then, the car stopped in front of a big iron gate.

  Grace’s eyes opened big and wide.

  “Wow! This gate looks like a castle gate,” she said.

  Lucille smiled a teeny bit.

  “It’s not a castle gate, you sillyhead, Grace,” she said. “This is the gate to my house.”

  The nanna pushed a button, and the gate opened right in front of our eyes.

  “Hey, that button is like magic!” I said.

  Lucille smiled bigger.

  After that, the nanna drove down a long driveway. She stopped in front of a big, beautiful house.

  Lucille jumped out of the car and ran inside.

  Me and that Grace followed after her.

  And guess what? Lucille’s house was even beautifuller on the inside than it was on the outside!

  There was a beautiful long row of stairs. And a beautiful big bowl of flowers. And a beautiful, giant, sparkly ceiling light made out of glass.

  I did a gasp at that glistening thing!

  “That light takes my breathing away!” I said.

  Lucille skipped all around in a circle.

  She singed a loud song in our ears.

  “SEE? SEE? I TOLD YOU I WAS RICH! SEE? SEE? I TOLD YOU I WAS RICH!” she sang.

  She made that song up, I believe.

  After that, she took our hands and showed us all the rooms in her house.

  She showed us the living room. And the dining room. And the kitchen. And the big giant patio. And the daddy’s office. And the mother’s office. And the family room. And the pool room where you play pool. And the outside pool where you swim. And the hot tub. And the library. And the gym. And the nanna’s room. And the mother and daddy’s room. And the fancy gold bathroom with the Jacuzzi. And the brother’s room. And a whole, whole bunch of guest rooms.

  Then finally, Lucille showed us her very own bedroom!

  And it looked like a bedroom where a princess lived!

  Lucille’s bed had a pink frilly roof on top of it.

  “That is called a canopy,” she explained. “It matches my pink silk draperies and my pink silk bedspread. And my pink telephone. And my plush pink rug. And my wallpaper with pink flowers in it.

  “And see my TV? And my stereo? And my computer? And my CD player?”

  She pointed to the corner. “And did you notice all of my big stuffed animals standing over there?” she asked.

  My eyes popped out at those giant guys. The giraffe was bigger than me even!

  Me and that Grace ran to play with them.

  “NO! STOP! DON’T!” shouted Lucille. “YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH THEM! THEY ARE JUST FOR SHOW!”

  “Huh?” said that Grace.

  “What?” I said. “How come?”

  “Because they were expensive, that’s how come,” she said. “Those animals costed my nanna a fortune.”

  “Oh,” I said kind of disappointed.

  “Oh,” said that Grace.

  We sat down on Lucille’s bed.

  Lucille shouted at us again. “NO! GET UP! YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO SIT THERE! THAT BEDSPREAD IS JUST FOR SHOW!”

  Me and that Grace springed right off of there.

  Lucille quick smoothed the material with her hand.

  “Don’t you two know anything?” she said. “This bedspread is made out of silk, I told you. I’m not allowed to get it soiled.”

  “Oh,” I said.

  “Oh,” said that Grace.

  After that, Lucille skipped over to her dresser. And she pressed a button on her mirror.

  A million bazillion lights came on!

  “Look at this,” she said. “This is my very own professional makeup mirror! It is the same kind of mirror that they use for movie stars. My nanna brought it all the way from Hollywood, California!”

  Me and that Grace runned to the sparkly mirror. We looked at ourselves in the bright lights.

  Then we sticked out our tongues and made funny faces.

  Lucille quick turned it off.

  “It is not a toy!” she grouched.

  After that, me and that Grace just stood very still. And we didn’t touch anything.

  “This is going to be a long evening,” I said kind of quiet.

  Only just then, something very wonderful happened!

  Lucille’s nanna came in the room! And she was carrying a big box of dress-up clothes!

  “I thought you little gals might have fun with some of my old evening gowns,” she said real nice. “They’re as old as the hills. But they’re still quite stunning.”

  Lucille runned to the box speedy quick.

  “Let’s play Cinderella!” she said.

  She pulled out a beautiful, sparkly pink gown.

  “I’M CINDERELLA!” she shouted.

  Then that Grace shoved me out of her way. And she runned to the box, too.

  She pulled out a sparkly blue gown.

  “I’M THE FAIRY GODMOTHER!” she yelled.

  I did a huffy breath at those two. ’Cause now I had to be the ugly stepsisters, probably.

  I bended down and searched through the box very careful.

  Then all of a sudden, my hands felt something long and silky and softie.

  I quick pulled it out of there.

  The nanna’s whole face lighted up.

  “Oh my goodness! My old feather boa!” she said. “Why, I haven’t seen that thing in years!”

  I danced all around with that lovely thing.

  “I love this, Nanna! I love this old feather boa!”

  Just then, another great idea popped in my brain.

  “Hey! I know! I will be the famous singer that sings at Cinderella’s ball!”

  Lucille and Grace looked funny at me.

  “What singer?” said Lucille.

  “There’s no singer,” said that Grace.

  I stamped my foot at them.

  “Yes, there is! There is, too, a singer! And I am her! And my name is Florence the Famous Singer! And I will be performing show tunes from the hit musical Annie! So there!”

  Lucille and Grace shrugged their shoulders at me.

  Then they dressed up in their beautiful gowns.

  And they went to the ball.

  And I sang “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

  6/Bouncing

  After we finished playing Cinderella, the nanna called us to dinner.

  Me and Lucille and that Grace skipped into the big dining room. We sat at a long, shiny table.

  Pretty soon, Lucille??
?s nanna came in from the kitchen. And she gave us our dinner.

  And guess what?

  Its name was beans and Frank!

  “Hurray!” I said. “Hurray for beans and Frank! ’Cause this is my favorite kind of home cooking!”

  The nanna did a teeny smile.

  “Well, we usually have a cook. But I gave her the night off,” she said.

  After that, the nanna poured milk into beautiful sparkly glasses.

  “Oooo, Nanna! These are your best crystal glasses!” said Lucille real thrilled. “I love these expensive things!”

  “Me, too! I love these expensive things, too!” I said.

  Only too bad for me. ’Cause nobody even told me that crystal glasses were very heavy.

  And so when I picked up my glass, it slipped right out of my hand.

  And it fell on the floor!

  And it broke into lots of pieces!

  Lucille’s whole mouth came open.

  “OH NO! YOU BROKE IT! YOU BROKE MY NANNA’S CRYSTAL GLASS!”

  The nanna’s face was reddish and scrunchy.

  “Sorry, Nanna,” I said real soft. “Sorry I broke your crystal glass.”

  The nanna sucked her cheeks way into her head.

  “Let’s just try to be more careful, shall we, dear?” she said.

  I bobbed my head up and down.

  “We shall,” I said back.

  After that, I ate my beans and Frank very careful. Only pretty soon, my Frank spilled off my fork. And he landed on the nanna’s white tablecloth.

  “OH NO!” hollered Lucille. “THAT’S MY NANNA’S GOOD LINEN TABLECLOTH! SHE BROUGHT IT ALL THE WAY FROM IRELAND!”

  The nanna’s face was twisty and puffy.

  I quick pushed my plate away from me.

  My stomach felt in a tight knot.

  “Yeah, only guess what? I am not actually hungry anymore. And so I will just sit here and not spill anything, I think.”

  The nanna cleaned up my messes with a wet cloth.

  After she finished, she brought us chocolate ice cream for dessert.

  Only too bad for me. ’Cause a teeny plop of ice cream dropped right off my spoon. And it landed on my chair cushion.

  The nanna did a big breath.

  “You’re a bit of a bull in a china shop, aren’t you, dear?” she said.

  “Sorry, Nanna,” I said. “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

  The nanna patted my hand very stiffish.

  “Quite all right,” she said kind of mumbly.

  After that, I got down from the table. And me and my friends went back to Lucille’s room.

  And guess what?

  Things got funner!

  ’Cause Lucille said we could play with the games in her closet! On account of they weren’t even expensive!

  First, we played Chutes and Ladders. Then we played Twister and Bingo and Chinese checkers and Tic-Tac-Toad and Candyland. Plus also we played Let’s Spin Till We Get Real Dizzy and Fall Down.

  And guess what? I didn’t even break anything!

  “Hey! I think I am getting the hang of this party!” I said very happy.

  Just then, the nanna knocked on Lucille’s door.

  “Time for you ladies to put your pajamas on,” she told us.

  I danced all around the room real happy.

  “Hurray!” I said “Hurray for pajamas! ’Cause I brought my favorites!”

  I quick put them on.

  “See them, Nanna? See how biggish and baggish they are? That is how come they feel so comfortable!”

  The nanna’s eyes looked down at me.

  “How very…charming,” she said.

  Just then, that Grace jumped right in front of me.

  “Look at mine, Nanna!” she said. “See mine? My pajamas have neon-green polka dotties on them!”

  “How very …colourful,” said the nanna.

  All of a sudden, Lucille popped out of her big closet.

  “Ta-da! Look at me, everyone! I am wearing my beauteous pink satin nightie! See me? See how lovely I look! I look like a gorgeous model in this thing!” she said.

  Lucille let me and that Grace feel her material.

  “How very…smoothie,” I said.

  After that, me and Grace unrolled our sleeping bags on the floor. And the nanna took the silk bedspread off Lucille’s bed.

  “Time to get your beauty sleep, Princess,” she told Lucille.

  Then those two kissed and hugged good night. And the nanna shut the door.

  Only guess what?

  Lucille didn’t even get in bed. She kept twirling all around in her pink satin nightgown.

  “This is how models twirl,” she said. “They twirl so you can see their fronts and their backs.”

  Lucille wouldn’t stop twirling.

  “See my front? See my back?” she said.

  Me and that Grace got up on her bed to watch her twirl.

  Lucille’s bed was soft and cushy.

  We bounced up there a teeny bit.

  Lucille stopped twirling.

  “Hey! Don’t!” she said. “That bed is for beauty sleep only!”

  I patted her bed very admiring.

  “Yeah, only it’s too bad we can’t actually play up here. ’Cause this mattress is a bouncy one,” I said.

  Just then, Lucille’s face did a sneaky smile.

  “Want to bounce?” she said real soft. “Want to really, really bounce?”

  She tippytoed to her door and looked down the hall.

  “Come on,” she whispered. “Follow me.”

  I grabbed Philip Johnny Bob and followed after Lucille and that Grace.

  We tippytoed down the hall and around the corner.

  Then Lucille opened the door to a big guest room. And there was a giant bed in that place!

  “See it!” she said. “See how huge that bed is? My nanna had it specially made in case we have tall company!”

  Lucille quick shut the door after us.

  “Come on! Let’s go!” she said.

  And so all of us runned to the big bed speedy quick! And we jumped and jumped and jumped on that thing!

  I sang a joyful song.

  It is called “Jumping, Jumping, Jumping on the Giant Bed.”

  “JUMPING…JUMPING…JUMPING ON THE GIANT BED,” I sang.

  Only too bad for me. ’Cause all of a sudden, I remembered something very important. And it is called Mother and Daddy said no jumping.

  I got off the bed speedy fast.

  “Yeah, only here’s the problem,” I said. “I am not actually allowed to jump. ’Cause Mother and Daddy said no jumping. And so you guys should stop jumping, too. ’Cause that would be polite of you.”

  Lucille and that Grace didn’t pay attention to me.

  That is how come I had to get back on the giant bed and shout in their faces.

  “STOP JUMPING, I SAID! ’CAUSE I AM NOT ALLOWED TO JUMP! AND YOU GUYS SHOULDN’T JUMP, TOO!”

  Grace springed way high in the air.

  “Who’s jumping? I’m not jumping,” she said.

  She giggled very silly. “I’m bouncing!”

  Just then, my whole face got happy.

  I hugged and hugged that girl.

  ’Cause Mother and Daddy didn’t say I couldn’t bounce!

  After that, I bounced and bounced and bounced.

  “BOUNCING…BOUNCING…BOUNCING ON THE GIANT BED,” I sang.

  I bounced till sweat came on my head.

  Then I flopped down on the bed to rest.

  I flopped on a plumpery pillow.

  “Oooo, Lucille! This is the most plumpery pillow I ever even saw!” I told her.

  “Of course it is, silly,” said Lucille. “That’s because my nanna has all her pillows handmade in Sweden.”

  I quick swinged the plumpery pillow over to my friend Grace.

  “Grace! Hey, Grace! Feel how plumpery this pillow is!” I said.

  Only Grace didn’t actually see it coming. And it accidentally hit her in the head.


  I peeked at her under that thing.

  “Yeah, only that did not even harm you, I bet. ’Cause plumpery pillows don’t hurt people. Right, Grace. Right?”

  That Grace did a teeny grin.

  Then she took the plumpery pillow off her head. And she swinged it all around. And she hit me in the tummy!

  “Ooomph!” I said.

  Then I laughed and laughed.

  “Hey! I was right! Plumpery pillows don’t hurt people!”

  After that, I hit Lucille in the head with my plumpery pillow. Plus also, I hit Grace again.

  Then those guys got their own plumpery pillows. And all of us kept on hitting each other very fun!

  Only just then, a mistake happened. ’Cause I didn’t even know there was a rip in my plumpery pillow. And so the next time I hit Grace, all of my feathers exploded out of it!

  There was a million bazillion of those floaty things.

  They filled the whole air, practically.

  Lucille did a gasp.

  That Grace did a gasp, too.

  I danced around very giggling.

  “HEY! IT’S SNOWING!” I said. “IT’S SNOWING! IT’S SNO—”

  Just then, the door swinged opened very fast!

  It was Lucille’s nanna!

  She saw me holding the broken plumpery pillow!

  My heart pounded hard inside of me.

  “Hello,” I said very nervous. “How are you today? I am fine. Except I am having a little bit of a feather problem, apparently.”

  The nanna walked at me very slow.

  Then she took my pillow out of my hands.

  And she hided her face in that flatty thing.

  And she didn’t come out for a real long time.

  7/Peeping

  After a while, the nanna took us back to Lucille’s room.

  Me and Philip Johnny Bob got in our sleeping bag speedy fast.

  Then that Grace got in her sleeping bag, too. And Lucille got into her softie bed.

  “Not one more peep out of you girls,” said the nanna very grouchy. “Do you hear me? Not one more peep.”

  She turned off the light and shut the door.

  I stayed quiet a real long time. ’Cause I was scared of that woman, that’s why.

  All of a sudden, I heard a teeny voice.

  “Peep!” it said. “Peep, peep, peep!”

  It was Lucille.

  Me and that Grace giggled out loud at her.

  “Peep,” said that Grace.

  “Peep,” I said.