CON TEST: Double Life

  “Pardon me. I am a writer. But, it is, I who writes for the LA Times. And, I am black mailing you. You know why, so don’t play silly games with me, mister.”

  “Huh?” William asked, and reached for the drink that he had left on the floor earlier. He had been a potential victim of black mail in the past, but he and Justice had quickly teamed up and handled that problem.

  “Are you always this chipper in the morning?”

  William ignored the man and pressed the record button on his answering machine. “Where the hell did you get my number?”

  “Ah…It was quite easy old chap,” the man confessed. William noticed an Austrian accent. “Once I figured out who you were, it was difficult research by the way, I met Jewel and what a precious jewel she was to leave me at her desk for me to dig around for your contact information. And do not worry about the proposed Sony deal. That was my cheap ploy to get into her office. I am her good friend, Don. Or, so she claimed. That sounded like a lovely plot didn’t, William?” the man said and snickered.

  I’ll be damn, William thought. He was angry and mad at Jewel’s stupidity. And her lies. He planned to strangle the asshole on the other end of the line for the ruse. And then fire Jewel, after exposing Justice to the world and coming out of the literary shadows.

  “So, Don, when do we meet?” he asked calmly. He was heated, though.

  “I thought you’d never ask,” Don confirmed. “How ‘bout today. I could use an installment.”

  I am going to install my fist down your throat. “Can’t. Gotta be in the Bay area today. It’s very urgent. My flight leaves at eight a.m.,” William lied and continued, “I will leave for NY after that on Sunday. How ‘bout Monday when the banks are open and fully stocked?”

  “You would know, but I’ll meet you Saturday in San Fran. Less time for you to devise a plan. I’ll call your cell phone with the details. I know that you’re an expert shooter, so we will be in a very public place. With detectors.”

  “Good,” William said. What he did not say was that, it was good that the place would be public so that he could work his sinister plan.

  “Save the sarcasm, pal. I’m begging you not to push the wrong button.”

  The line went dead.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Lundin was in New York, the city that transcends disorder in human behavior. While she loved attending the winter fashion showcase, she loathed being away from William. She hoped to slice her eight day trip, but William had encouraged her to enjoy herself. “Have fun,” was what he had told her. “Enjoy the time away from the ZME anxiety and racket.”

  She snuggled up to the warm comforter in the Marriott Marquis. She was in a chair that she sat in the window that overlooked Times Square. She looked down at a singer waving at screaming fans from the MTV studio. She sipped Moscato laced with coconut Ciroc, and thought, this is the life. The trip was another of the extremely sizable bonuses that came with working as a model agent. Lundin wished that she could be hi-jacked on these all of the time, if William would join her. That was why she wanted to start a business with him. Lock him deeper into her world. She, despite how beautiful she was, knew that he would leave her if people knew who he was. Women would be after him, and so would the paparazzi. She imagined their life being chaotic. Her heart was orbiting around William while she was 3,000 miles away. She picked up the phone and called him.

  After three rings, he answered. “Hey, Boopsie. I was just thinking about you.”

  “You didn’t call. I was thinking of you, so I called.”

  “Trust me, I am thinking of you more than you could ever imagine. I assumed you were working like me.”

  “I am,” she said, and then asked, “What’s that bell sound?”

  “Oh, a ‘frisco trolley. I came up this morning. I need to visit Lamar up at San Quentin, so that I can get a few good ideas. I sent him some chapters and $200 the other day.”

  “You can go visit Lamar, but you couldn’t come with me?”

  “Calm down. This is business. No different than yours.”

  “What?” she asked perplexed. “You knew of my travels weeks in advance. I’m sure you did not roll over this morning and think to take a trip.”

  “I ain’t feelin’ the tone, Lundin,” he informed her. “Things do come up abruptly for me. I forgot to tell you. It is not that serious that you have an attitude. I am only here for one night.”

  “What do you mean? I practically begged you to come to New York. Now you’re in San-Fran-Fucking-Cisco!”

  “Lundin!” He barked, fiercely. “This is nothing new.” He calmed himself down. He was on the verge of verbally assaulting her, a battle which she would have won. Women always win. “Boopsie, I know you’re 3,000 miles away. Lonely and probably scared, but why are you angry with me? Even had you been here, I would have made this trip. Even though, it was sorta spur of the moment.”

  “Lundin, you must have lost your damn mind in Times Square. Am I a toddler? Ask yourself that the next time you decide to chastise me. I don’t need permission to travel like a damn parolee.”

  “William, I am sorry, Okay,” she said. “Yes, I am lonely, and these derelict men keep coming on to me.”

  “Babe, you travel there twice a year. It’s business. A man coming on to you is part of the business. Sure you can get rid of them with ya mace,” he said and chuckled.

  “True, but…”

  “There are no buts. Have fun,” he said, forcefully. Then he heard himself asking, “What are you wearing?”

  “What?” she asked puzzled.

  “What color are your panties?” he breathed lustfully into her ear.

  She touched her special spot, and then cooed, “Blue,” and ran her free hand across her hardened nipples.

  “I am on a trolley heading back to my hotel. I do not want any crazy stares at the dick area of my jeans when I stand to get off, so this is to be continued.”

  “You gon’ build me up and drop me off?” she whispered, excitedly. “But, I’ll wait. I don’t want women staring at my man. Men either, I forgot where you were. Not that the place really matters these days.”

  “That’s better. Now how are the shows coming along?”

  “Interesting. The shows have been spectacular. Sean John landed a helicopter on the runway and men clad in swim trunks, dressed as SWAT came out.” She rambled on and all William heard was blah…blah…blah. He couldn’t wait to get to his hotel room. He let her plow ahead with her stories. “Boopsie, this is my stop. I love you.”

  “Ten minutes, Blackey.”

  “Five. I’m running.”

  He had no idea that Don ran behind him.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  William paced a few steps inside of the San Francisco Zoo too meet the foolish blackmailer. After visiting with Lamar, he had returned to the Ritz and took a nap. He was startled awake by his cell phone with a call from Don. Don wanted to meet in the zoo, as William wouldn’t bring a gun there. At least not one that sprayed bullets. How could Don discount William’s weapon of mass destruction: his beautiful mind.

  William had arrived at the zoo two hours before he was expected. He had staked out the entry in search of a man that entered all alone. He didn’t believe that the man worked for the LA Times. William had zipped through the zoo four times looking for his target. William had met with enough men certified as experts in surveillance and covert ops to have a knack to anticipate the moves of a journalist. Suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulder. A man with a ceremonious diction spoke to him.

  “Hello, Bill,” the man said.

  William whirled around. The devil had arrived. “William. Not Will. Not Dick. Not Bill.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry for being so informal,” the man said. He was short and balding. Cheap and shabby. The man could not believe that William had spoken to him so disrespectfully. “Maybe, I should have sent you flowers before I decided to blackmail you, sir, and invite you on a date to a zoo, and whisper a pet name in your ear.”

&nbs
p; “Look, you freak. What the fuck do you want?”

  “Calm down and watch the language. There are kids around. Do you have my money?”

  “Man, please. Are you crazy? You do not know shit about me. Do you think I’ll lose or gain fame if you expose me?”

  “I know far more than I let on.”

  “Like?”

  “I know all about Justice. Surely, you remember him.”

  “Funny.”

  “Oh is it? Then I guess you’ll be in favor of the $10,000 a month for a lifetime plan?”

  “Look, I do not budge to threats of blackmail.”

  “This is not blackmail. We’re like partners keeping a secret. A very dark secret that I know all about.”

  “You’re nuts. There’s no secret. It’s a selling strategy keeping my identity private. Authors do it all the time with pseudonyms.”

  “Cut the shit. I know all about Justice Lorenzo, buddy.”

  “I guess you found that in Jewel’s Rolodex, too.”

  “I have an associate at the Times ready to assure this hits the Sunday front page,” he said and pulled out his cell phone. “And a newscaster at Channel 9 ready to expose this tonight.”

  William pushed the walkie-talkie button on his new Nextel and asked the person on the other end, “Did you get that?”

  “Loud and clear and recorded,” a man said.

  “What!” Don barked perplexed.

  “It’s illegal to blackmail me, asshole.” William pulled a microscopic listening device from his hair and danced it across Don’s face. William then turned to a zoo worker and signaled them to take a photo of him and the Donster.

  “No. Don’t.”

  “He is shy. Go ahead and take it,” William said as the man snapped the picture in his cell phone. He immediately forwarded the picture to his E-mail address. William then pointed to his breast pocket and Don saw an ink pen protruding. “This is a tiny camera. Your whole charade has been captured. It pays to know people in places, you know. You looked pained, Don. Not so tough now are you, bitch?” William hissed, venomously. He fumed with anger. William went on, “Now since you mentioned it, call your pals and have them rave about my new book, pal. I better read that on the front page tomorrow, and see it aired tonight. Urge readers to pre-order my book. I’d appreciate that. Can you do that? We’re still partners, right?”

  Don shook his no. He was stunned by William’s antics.

  “I need a fucking answer?”

  “What if I do not do it?”

  “I’ll shoot you between the eyes. After I have my police pals identify you and your address. Now get the hell outta my face.”

  * * *

  After William watched Don drive away from the zoo, he approached the balloon man. He handed him $500 and retrieved his Nextel.

  The balloon man said, “Thanks, man. Let me know if you need me again.” He stuffed the five bills in his pocket and yelled, “Get your balloons. We got lions and tigers and bears. Oh my!”

  TWENTY-SIX

  After a good night’s sleep and a refreshing Swedish massage, William was revved, horny, and ready to go. He could not arrest all of the ideas and potential plot twists that were born out of his conversation with Lamar. It paid to have contacts with criminals.

  The Ritz had a lovely way of relaxing his mind. He glanced at the alarm clock. It was 11:17 a.m. Two in New York. He called Lundin. The day seemed made for yarning. But first let me call my baby, he thought. He rolled over and grabbed his cell phone from the night stand and dialed Lundin.

  “Blackey,” she said out of breath. “I’m trying to get dressed and…”

  “Boopsie, take it easy,” he told her. “What do you have on right now?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Perfect.”

  “Don’t even think about it. After what we did yesterday, I know we don’t have time.”

  “Come on, you can be fashionably late.”

  “Nope, I have to be at Bryant Park by three and Donna Karan is not known to be late. Besides, Margaret is in the show, and you’ll be a widower if I am not there.”

  “I bet you look beautiful. That buttermilk skin glowing with the lotion you wear that has the glitter.”

  “Babe, I’d really love to talk, and maybe a quickie, but I have to go,” she said and hung up.

  At least she’s having fun, William thought. He had the best undercovers trailing her. This shit is too much, I am going to right this bullshit. He pulled out his laptop and was ready to have some fun of his own. He stared at a blank screen for a few moments and then went to town on the keyboard:

  At eight a.m. Justice sat up and stopped the alarm clock from blaring. He looked around the hotel room and saw that Amir and Alimu-Shine were both crashed out. With them still asleep he called to the bellman stand and asked for a limo ride to the nearest Bank of America. The bellman instructed him to be in the lobby in a half hour.

  The night before at the club, Justice had sat on a long cushioned bench along with other tired clubbers. He was in no mood to party, but did not want to be a party pooper either. It paid off for him to sit there. A drunk blonde sat down next to him, and left her purse open on the bench. Justice had Alimu-Shine sit between him and the bag.

  Justice then scooted very close to Alimu-Shine, leaned his head on his shoulder, and then snaked his hand behind Alimu-Shine’s back. He swiped the dumb blonde’s wallet out her purse and put it inside of his coat. They then had Amir keep her company, as they dashed to the bathroom and took four of her ten credit cards. Justice tore three checks from the middle of her check book, along with the top one for a signature impression. Her $900 cash was also of no use to her, but they only took $600, so that they could split it three ways. They wanted to leave her money to buy more drinks and a cab to her hotel. They then put her wallet back into her purse and left the club.

  Amir was pissed, as that was his first night in New York and he’d had the time of his life. His anger subsided when he learned that the purse of Kitty Sandford from Omaha, Nebraska had been robbed. The triumvirate immediately went to work.

  Alimu-Shine hopped on his cell and contacted Discover. He—using a female voice, which was easy because he was drunk—told them that he was on vacation in New York and that he was inebriated. Hence, the reason he did not know his pin number to use the ATM to get a cash advance.

  After he verified Mrs. Sandford’s address and social security number from materials in her purse, he was given a temporary one-time pin number to withdraw $500 from a NOVUS machine. The three of them split the $500 three ways and split the extra $50 on a late night meal.

  At precisely 8:30, Justice walked through the elevator doors and marched to the bell hop stand. He was dressed in jeans, tank top, moccasins, and the white hotel robe with the signature “P” on the front over a pocket. He had on large dark tinted Versace shades to hide his eyes.

  The limo pulled in front of the Bank of America at 8:45. The driver parked directly in front of the entrance in a limo bearing the hotel logo. Onlookers thought that someone important was inside. There was: Justice Lorenzo, craftsman-at-work.

  The bank manager opened the doors at nine and Justice emerged from the limo and strode into the bank. He heard a gun go off signaling “go” and he approached a teller.

  “Good morning, to you sir?” the teller said. He flashed coffee stained teeth beneath a bald upper lip. “How may I help you?”

  “Good morning to you, but my morning has not been too good,” Justice said. He raised his sunglasses just enough for the teller to mumble “oh my”. “Yeah, mugged right outside the Plaza,” Justice said filling out a withdrawal slip using the signature Plaza pen he had brought along. He had stopped in the gift shop and bought make-up to give his eye the look of being punched. “The goon took everything, wallet and all,” he said passing the withdrawal slip to the teller.

  “That is so sad. I apologize on behalf of all of New York. You want this much in cash? Do you have ID after last night?


  “No, all I have is my hotel bill from the Plaza with my name. I am with a pal and I was prepared to pay the hotel in cash. I’m sure you know how expensive that place is? Did you know that they were closing their doors?” Justice had rehearsed for this conversation.

  “They are closing?” the teller asked taping keys on his key board. “Could you jot your social and birth date on this slip of paper?” The teller then added, “Also, there is additional holders on this account, so please write down their info, as well. Thank you.”

  Justice complied and the teller began to count the cash that he had requested.

  The teller slid a bank envelope filled with notes across to Justice, and said, “Mr. Sandford, I am truly sorry at what has happened to you. I hope that you enjoy the rest of your time in New York.”

  “I most certainly will” Justice said and exited the bank.

  He jumped in the limo $8,000 richer and fled back to the Plaza. He walked in the room just in time to join Amir and Alimu-Shine for breakfast.

  William paused for a second and saved his work. His eyes were blurry from staring at the monitor for an hour. He needed a break. The room furniture was sliding from side to side. The bright sunlight came through the window and darted in and out of his eyes every time that he blinked. He mashed his palm over the oceanic waves that his hair formed, and he got up from the computer and he lay across the bed.

  After a fifteen minute eye rest, he hopped up, dropped to the floor and did fifty pushups; that always revved him. He then ordered room service, and with that on the way, he ran to grab a bucket of ice from the hallway.

  He entered the hallway from the vending room and two women walked by. He stared at the bulge in the front of their swim suits and their breasts. He assumed that they both had breast implants. The prettier of the two had ass flowing out of her bikini. It seemed that the women stared at the phallus that swung in his ball shorts, and his shirtless torso.