Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Alice and Her Shadow
Her shadow once again garners her attention as she’s walking, giving forth a pssst, then “So I did my part.”
Alice looks down, says, “Did Malice kill the Queen?”
“Hmm? No, of course not! She’s just horribly disfigured. Malice didn’t want to kill the Queen—she wanted her to suffer for her crimes.”
“So, what? She has a sense of justice now?”
“Hmm? No, just a sense of humor. But I want to tell you I’m fed up with you two being separate, so I’m here to tell you I’m staying away until you get re-smushed-together.”
“So is Malice going to meet me at the Looking Glass House?”
“Yes, I told you I did my part. She said to tell you she’s looking forward to being recombined.”
“Yeah, but the Eighth Square is guarded by the Jabberwock, and they say he kills all intruders with his vorpal blade.”
“Yes, but remember, you have the card.”
“The card? How will that help me with a jabberwock?”
“Remember his gambling addiction…”
“Of course, everyone knows about it. They say that’s why he stole the Queen of Heart’s tarts all that time ago—to pay off some debts. So what of it?”
Alice and her shadow tap the side of her head in a come on, think mocking motion. “And you still have the Thirteen of Heartless card…”
“That’s right,” says Alice. “And…”
“Annnd…did the Jabberwock ever confess to stealing the tarts?”
Alice rolls her eyes. “Of course not. I used to naively think he was innocent, but everybody knows he did it, but he never confessed and they’ve never been able to prove it. They convicted the Knave of Hearts instead.”
“Yeah, so…”
“Yeah?” Alice still didn’t get it.
The shadow says, “All the jabberwocks come from a proud warrior culture. Don’t they say they live by the sword, die by the sword?”
“Yes. So you want me to kill the Jabberwock with his vorpal blade?”
The shadow sighs. “In a way. Tell me, what is the punishment for every crime in jabberwock society?”
Alice thinks for a moment. “Hara kari by their own vorpal blade! It’s an honor thing. If they don’t do it, they would be disgraced! Hari kari is where they take their own vorpal blade and cut through their stomach to kill themselves.”
“I know what it is! I’m your shadow, remember?”
Alice and her shadow cross their arms. Alice says, sounding a bit hurt, “So you want me to prove he stole the tarts?”
“Yes, well, I want you to make the Jabberwock confess to stealing the tarts, which is even better because a jabberwock is bound by honor never to lie.”
“Well that’s a dumb plan, because he’s never confessed before.”
“Arggh!” the shadow cries out. They put their hands to the sides of their heads in exasperation. “That’s why you gotta use the card! Do you remember its rule for poker?”
Alice tries to think, her mouth shifting from side to side. “Not really. I remember it was a strange rule.”
“Ugh! Am I the only one who’s been paying attention around here?”
Alice and her shadow shrug.
“Fine!” says the shadow. “Here’s the rule:
If him you are dealt when poker’s the game,
Your opponents must fold then confess,
The one thing they feel is their own greatest shame,
Because he’s the Thirteen of Heartless!
“Now I leave it up to you two from here. I’m sick of you both! Oh, how I long to go back to being just a simple, silent shadow of a single Alice!”
The shadow disappears just as Alice is saying, “Where are you going?”
Alice is thinking that next, she will take the card from her pocket and try to rouse it into speaking again. But when she takes him out and shakes him, he merely giggles—nothing more.
She taps the top of her hat and sees Malice again, but Malice is just walking, so it’s not very interesting.
So Alice continues onward, and soon she sees the Jabberwock ahead and approaches him.