Broken

  I met with Aiyana at our usual spot and signaled that I wanted her to follow me. She did so a little reluctantly since she hardly ever hunted outside of a few familiar areas. But I was tired of the same deer and fish-hunting. I needed some fresh meat. I wanted to catch a prey that wouldn't go down easily. We ran through the trails of the swamps for half an hour before we reached the open marshland where I had spotted the coyotes the night before. Soundlessly we stepped out from the thick vegetation and into the open areas where only high grass covered our bodies in the moonlit night. Then we heard the first howl. The howl was like one high note. The stench of urine was everywhere. They had marked their territory.

  We crouched in the high grass as we slowly moved forward into the field of marshland when another howl came, then another and then a high-pitched, shrill howl. The pack was assembled and now howled in an ear-piercing chorus. If they were warning each other because we had been spotted or they sensed our presence I didn't know, but I hoped they knew we were there. I was hoping they sensed the danger. I wanted them to be alert. I wanted them to know their final hour had come. The king of the swamps was coming and their strength was nothing compared to mine and Aiyana's. We had yet to experience an animal as strong and fierce as we were. Neither of us felt the slightest fear, only the sensation of the hunt about to happen, the kill, the intoxicating smell and taste of blood that we craved.

  We ran towards the high-pitched howling coming from our prey. I glanced at Aiyana as she ran beside me through the high grass. Our eyes locked for a few seconds and I felt such a great love for her in that short moment as we neared the coyotes and their smells and sounds became even more vivid to us. Through the darkness I spotted movement ahead, dozens of legs moving in the grass. I heard paws moving across the marshland and panting and heavy breathing. I sped up and ran like the wind, feeling the freedom and thrill of the expected kill as we got closer and closer to our prey. The howling had turned into a bawling alarming sound from one coyote to another as they ran for their lives. I was close now and could snap out at legs that were running wildly. At least nine coyotes were trying to escape their destiny. I snapped for a leg and heard the bones crunch between my teeth. The coyote yelped and barked in panic as it tumbled to the ground. I didn't stop to kill it right away but knew it wasn't going anywhere with a crushed leg. Quickly I found another victim. Aiyana was ahead of me now and lashed out at one coyote with one paw, causing it to fall with a loud whining bark. She stopped and sank her teeth into its skull, killing it instantly. The adrenalin rushing through my body was overpowering, supernatural and I managed to maintain an incredible speed through the marsh. My long muscular legs felt elastic and resilient underneath me. It was the closest I had ever come to actually flying. It exceeded anything I had ever done physically. It made me feel more alive than anything else. As I ran I could hear my own heartbeat and the blood rushing through my veins to keep up with my incredible pace. I came closer to another coyote and sank my teeth into its back, biting through the greyish fur and into its vital organs as it slowly sank to its death between my jaws. Blood ran from its wounds into my mouth and satisfied the immediate thirst for its sweet taste but also left me longing for more, craving raw meat and blood. I spit out the lifeless body and ripped off a piece of the meat before I immersed my entire face into the red intoxicating drug that I could no longer resist. I dwelled in it for a while and satisfied my lust for a few minutes when I suddenly heard Aiyana's roar and detected a cry for help. I lifted my head above the high grass and identified several animals gathered in one spot to the left not far from me. I leaped out of my spot and ran towards her.

  The remaining coyote pack had surrounded her while she was feasting on her prey. I ran growling and watched as they closed in on her, howling and barking. I roared again and again as a warning when I saw one of the coyotes snap at Aiyana's leg and bite it. In return she lashed at it with her claws and ripped its face. The coyote withdrew with a whimper until it was backed up by its pack as they slowly moved forward towards her while she crouched over her prey to protect it, snapping, snarling and growling at them. But they outnumbered Aiyana. I counted six as I ran. They closed in on her, snarling and baring their teeth. The smell of blood in this place from wounded and dead animals agitated me and aroused something inside of me. The adrenalin in my body was explosive. Now these animals were small compared to Aiyana and I, only around forty pounds but they were clever and when they gathered in a pack like this they could take down even big animals and I had even heard of attacks on humans on rare occasions but didn't know if that was only rumor. As I ran towards the pack and Aiyana I sensed something behind me that made my skin shiver. I turned my head and realized yet another pack of at least five coyotes was right behind me. They were barking and snapping their teeth. Their slanted eyes were fixed solely on me. With a huge roar I jumped one of the coyotes threatening Aiyana and ripped its skin open and didn't even look back as I heard more snarling and snapping of jaws. Aiyana broke into another roar as she attacked the pack from the other side and started killing them one by one. One latched onto my leg from behind and wouldn't let go no matter how much I tossed around causing it to fly through the air. I roared and snarled while lashing at the attacking coyotes that tried to bite me from all sides. I knocked some to the ground with my huge paws, but were quickly back on their feet again while others bit my legs and jumped on back, biting into my black fur. I killed one; I killed two, three and four. Still they came at me like an endless stream of attackers. Aiyana was growling and killing her share of as well but we were heavily outnumbered even given our size. We were in trouble.

  The coyotes were everywhere, biting us, trying to bring us down and have the feast of their life. Three coyotes jumped me from one side while one was biting my hind leg and I was forced to tumble to the ground with them on top of me. I managed to grab one of them with my teeth and crunch his bones between my jaws before I threw him lifeless across the ground. I started desperately to search for a tree to climb or a waterhole to get into where they couldn't follow us, but nothing was in range. I knew I was probably going to die but yet I never thought about giving up. It never occurred to me. It simply wasn't an option. This was what I had lusted for. This was the fight I craved and wanted. And I had gotten it. I was incensed, infuriated, maddened, I was wild, a savage predator. This was nature and the rawness of it was intoxicating. I faced the animals attacking me and looked them straight in the eyes. With three of my attackers still on top of me I managed to lift my entire body along with theirs up till I stood on all four legs again. Blood was streaming from my legs where I had been bitten but I was not yet defeated. I burst into a huge roar that echoed in the trees far away. I heard my own growling breath as I stood on my proud legs with three coyotes holding on to my body, their teeth sunk into my skin. I hardly felt the pain as I started shaking my body running back and forth, throwing my body in the air like a wild horse forcing the animals to let go of my back and be thrown into the air.

  When I finally managed to throw them all off I ran towards Aiyana and removed her attackers one by one by biting their necks and killing them instantaneously. She got on her legs again as I heard the barking and growling behind me and turned to see the rest of the pack now reduced to only five coyotes coming closer, blinded by rage and madness to let go of their prey even if they knew it would mean certain death to pursue their intent to kill the both of us. I crouched on my hind legs ready to spring forward. I roared again. The coyotes stopped. As if they had a sudden change of heart the first one, the one I assumed was the leader, stared at me, bowed its head and trotted several steps backwards, crouching and whining. The rest followed and walked slowly backwards. Their sudden retreat gave me confidence and I stepped forward with another growl and now they all put their tails between their legs and turned quickly, running fast in the opposite direction. I turned and looked at Aiyana with victory in my eyes when I realized that I wasn't causing the coyotes to run. Something else was heading in o
ur direction, something big, something that certainly wasn't part of nature.

  Humans.

  Chapter 19

  First I heard the voices, then the barking hounds that lucky for us were still on a leash.

  "Fresh tracks," I heard them say to one another. They were talking with low voices to not reveal themselves but my improved hearing could hear everything, every little word whispered in the night. With my night vision I could follow their every movement. There were several of them. Not only one or two, but many. I stared at Aiyana. I saw fear in her yellow eyes. She knew what I knew. I had seen her. I had seen her die in a premonition many years ago. I knew she would die in these swamps, shot to death by Jim my old friend whose leg she had taken in self-defense ten years ago. I recognized his voice among them. He was there, walking through the high grass with prosthetic leg and his cane. I breathed heavily while desperately trying to find a way out. It couldn't be her time already. I wasn't ready to lose her yet. Not now when we had just found each other again. I probably never would be but I wasn't going to let her die without even having fought for her. We both knew we would have to run, but that would also reveal our whereabouts. With their guns and rifles they could easily bring us down. The only other choice would be to stay in hiding. But that was like sitting on death row waiting to be executed.

  A coyote only half dead in the grass gave a shrill cry and lifted its snout towards the sky, ears pressed back and eyes rolling, shrieking like it was pleading to die. Its cries led the human's eyes to look in our direction. I heard my own breathing as I stared at the coyote slowly dying on the ground. It looked like a roach mashed to the ground with its legs in the air, still fighting yet knowing it was all over.

  This is it, I thought as I heard the voices and steps coming closer. The hounds were still on a leash which was to our advantage. I looked at Aiyana. She stared into my eyes and understood.

  We ran.

  Like a gush of wind we blew across the marsh-land exploiting the fact that the humans would only hear the cries of a half death coyote and before they reached the massacre scene we would be long gone in deep waters or hiding in a tree somewhere. That was the plan. That was all we had.

  It worked, at least for a couple of hundreds yards. Then they released the hounds. They found the dead coyotes and figured we wouldn't be far away. I knew how this worked. I had been a hunter for a short period along with Jim. I had searched for a jaguar myself. First they released the master hound and the rest would follow. As I ran for my life I tried to figure out how many hounds were following us. Their sounds and smells came from at least ten different directions. Each had their own bark and I counted at least a dozen. So somewhere between ten and twelve I figured. Or there could even be more. Their strategy would be to wear us down. Our only hope was to reach the river and dive into the deep waters where they couldn't follow us. A tree wouldn't work. Even if it was a closer solution the hounds would surround it and the humans would be able to shoot us down. Water or thick, thorny vegetation was our only choice. I knew we were far away from both.

  "More dead coyotes over here!" I heard a voice yell. "It hasn't even taken a bite from this one. We must have disturbed it getting ready to feast. We must be close to the jaguar now."

  I realized then that the hunters were only looking for one jaguar. We could use this to our advantage. I started zigzagging in front of Aiyana and running around her in circles deliberately and then repeatedly doubled back on our tracks to confuse the dogs.

  The hounds were now barking and howling not far from us, finding more leftovers from our fight with the coyotes. Then I heard people running. They were close now. They were running, coming from several directions. The hunters were everywhere now, they had surrounded the area. Or was I simply being tricked by their voices echoing off the wall of trunks in the forest in front of us? I looked at Aiyana running next to me when I heard the first shot. It came from behind us. I gasped. Anxiously I locked my eyes on Aiyana. I thought if I kept looking at her then they wouldn't be able to hit her.

  I was panting heavily as I spotted the tree line that marked the beginning of the forest not far from us. All we had to do was to reach the trees and then head for the river. As soon as we were in the forest we would be better protected and it would be difficult for the hunters to aim at us. We knew it and so did they. That's why they started firing at us now, to hinder our path to the forest and the trails leading to the river. Another shot was fired, an explosion echoing in the air. A third shot rang out but this time it came from another direction. It came from the forest we were running towards. Yelling came from behind us and dogs were closing in on us, and now another shot fired from in front of us, but there was no stopping now. We were surrounded by hunters. There was no way out. All we could do was to keep running while zigzagging to make sure they couldn't aim at us and confusing the dogs. But they were right on our trail and wouldn't be fooled.

  In the distance I spotted two figures, hunters right in front of us. They had their rifles raised and aimed directly at us. My heart almost stopped. I stared into the eyes of the one directly in front of me.

  It was Jim.

  Of course he had been clever enough to know that the jaguar would run for the forest and encircled us. He had his finger ready on the trigger. His breathing was heavy, his eyes focused when he suddenly lifted his head.

  "There are two!" he whispered to the other hunter. "I am staring at a big black one. Beautiful specimen. Would make a great trophy for my library."

  "I've got my eye on the other one, tawny with black rosettes," the man whispered back.

  "That's my jaguar!" Jim said.

  "I'll get her," the man answered. "I’ve got it right in my sights."

  It all happened really fast. I turned my head and looked at Aiyana with great fear for her life. I heard the shot fired and my heart skipped a beat as I saw her stop, change her direction and suddenly run to the side with such a magnificent speed and pace I could almost see every muscle underneath her tawny fur. As I turned my head I realized that it was too late for me to stop. My eyes locked with Jim's as he screamed. I crouched on my hind legs and leaped right over his head as he crouched to the ground with both arms over his head to protect himself. This time I was actually flying through the air. All the smells and sounds of the night whirled around me as I slid through the air and landed on my feet far behind the huntsmen. Jim was still on the ground and the other huntsman was shooting after Aiyana while I stormed towards the forest and quickly disappeared between the trunks.

  I kept running for a long time until I reached the river hoping that Aiyana was right behind me. I had lost the voices and there were no longer dogs or any sounds following me, but still I jumped into the water and started swimming upstream with all the power I had left in my body. I swam until I reached the clearing in the middle of the most impassable and heavily vegetated area in the swamps where Aiyana and I used to meet. Same place where we had met back when I was still only human and she a magnificent jaguar. I knew they wouldn't find us here so I threw myself to the ground exhausted and worn out. I waited for my beloved Aiyana to return to me. I fervently hoped she was going to make it. As I lay on the ground panting heavily I listened to the sounds of the night. I thought I heard voices again but very very far away. I also heard shots fired and my heart almost stopped every time. My stomach cramped at the thought it might be Aiyana they were shooting at. Every now and then I would get back up and start walking towards the river thinking I should go look for her but my wounds were painful and my left leg was badly injured. I wouldn't be of much help to her, nor did I know where she was. She had taken a different path.

  As the hours went by and she didn't come back I started to walk in circles, before I finally decided to go look for her. I swam back and started walking through the trails. I tried to catch her smell or hear her, thinking she might be lying somewhere hurt and alone unable to move. My leg was hurting badly, causing me to limp. The swamps were unusually quiet as
I searched for her. The moon was hidden behind heavy clouds and put the entire area in a deep darkness. My glowing eyes helped me in my search but it seemed the entire swamp had been deserted, as if all animals had fled for their lives and were hiding under rocks or in bushes and the entire forest was afraid of what had taken place. I was snarling and growling as I walked trying to signal Aiyana and let her know where I was, but at the same time I was terrified of attracting the hunters instead. I had no idea if they were still here. It couldn't be long till sunrise so I hoped that they had left. But I didn't want to take any risks.

  I walked for hours heartbroken and devastated by the fear that my premonition had come true and something horrifying had happened to Aiyana. I hadn't even been there to help her, to protect her. The guilt was agonizing.

  Suddenly I realized that the sun was about to rise in the horizon. I let out a last desperate roar that echoed through the forest for long before it came back to me. No answer. I was crying on the inside and roaring on the outside trying hard to run and search every bush, every clearing for her when I sensed that the transformation was about to take place. There was no stopping it and no way to get home in time. I panicked slightly when my paws were no longer furry as the soft glossy black hairs withdrew and left those hairless pink, useless human fingers on the soil of the trail. I got up on two legs as I slowly transformed back into my human body, my blond curls returning, arms and legs losing their hair, the tail retracting, the pointy ears disappearing, the whiskers, the fangs, the claws. I was left with nothing but a feeling of being completely naked and defenseless. Literally, I was. Naked and far away from my home and clothes.

  Luckily I knew the swamps so well that I quickly found my way out to I-Ninety-five leading back to St. Augustine. I knew no one would pick up a naked man walking beside the road at the crack of dawn so I had no other option that to start walking. I walked for half an hour right next to the morning traffic going into the town of St. Augustine, limping on my hurting leg while trying to cover up my sex with my hand. Eventually, a car slowed down behind me.