Broken

  We sat in silence as we slowly transformed back to our human bodies and soon lay naked in the grass looking at each other. She was a stunning sight in the dim sunlight.

  "Thank you," she whispered.

  I looked into her eyes.

  "For bringing my baby back to me," she continued. "She came to my room when she got to the house with William. She saw me. I was sitting on the floor glaring out the window missing her, worrying about her and not wanting to go out to hunt. Not wanting to leave the house. That was when she came in."

  "She had seen you like this before?" I asked surprised.

  "I have never tried to hide it from her. She needs to know what she is and what she might become one day."

  I nodded. "Of course."

  "I waited till she and William had both fallen asleep before I left. Sarah put them in William's room."

  "What a night she had," I said laughing. "Two were-jaguars on one day.

  "Luyu told me everything," Aiyana said. "About how she had been locked up for days and how scared she had been. Then you showed up. With black fur and shining blue eyes like beads, she said. And she knew that you had come to save her. She thought I had sent you."

  "Which you did," I said smiling.

  "I guess I did."

  Aiyana reached over and touched my hand in the moist grass. Her skin almost shone in the sunlight. Her eyes were still glowing. Our fingers touched gently. Then she snuggled closer to me and leaned over and kissed me, a gentle kiss, timid yet persistent. I kissed her back stronger, more persuasive. I grabbed her face between my hands almost clutching it while I felt her hands on my body, searching, and examining me. I gasped, aroused while my lips sought her ear, neck, shoulders and finally her breasts. She moaned under my touch. Her chest moved while she panted, gasped.

  "Please," she gasped.

  "I want you," I said. "I want you so badly. All of you. I want to be with you and never leave you. I want to be inside of you. I want to become one with you again."

  I got on top of her while our desperate insistent touches continued. When I entered her my life finally felt complete again.

  We slept in each other's arms until Sarah woke us up with her strident voice.

  "Will you two get inside before any of the neighbors see you!" she said, covering her eyes with her hand. "What do you think they'll say if they see you like this? You could get arrested."

  Then she snorted a couple of times while she turned and went back inside. Shortly after a blanket big enough to fit us both was thrown out of the French doors. We picked it up and walked laughing inside while holding it around each other.

  Sarah snorted again with the hint of a smile on her lips as we walked past her toward the guest bedroom.

  "You think the doctor will be going to work today?" she asked.

  "Not today, Sarah," I said and opened the door for Aiyana. "Today I will be taking Aiyana back to her own house to get her things. And then we will be visiting her family. Her sister has been sitting by the window for days waiting for her to come home." I looked at Aiyana. She smiled. "She knew you were coming soon to see her," I said. "She has been waiting for it."

  Aiyana looked at me gracefully. "I know," she whispered.

  I closed the door then pulled the blanket off her so she stood in front of me completely exposed. Then I laughed and threw myself at her, tumbling with her onto the bed. I couldn't stop kissing her, but when I felt I finally had to; I got up and looked at all of Heather's boxes in the corner.

  "In there you should be able to find something that you can wear till we get your stuff. If you need anything you just buy it from now on, okay? I will take good care of you and Luyu. You will never need anything again."

  She stroked my face. She spoke to me with her thoughts. You always were too good for me, Christian.

  True as it is, I answered with a smile. I am not going to let you go this time. I am not making the same mistake twice.

  "I am still married, remember?" she said out loud.

  "True. But so am I. I've heard that there is a way to get out of that."

  "Divorce?" she asked. "Don't like the sound of it."

  "I know. Me either. But sometimes it is the only thing to do. Especially in your case. You need to get away from that man who has hurt you so badly." I stroked her wound on her leg. It was healing but still sore. "In my case I have to discuss it with Heather." I continued. "She was the one who left me so I don't think she'll mind. I think this is what she wants for us."

  "Michael will mind," Aiyana sighed. "He always said he would rather die than get a divorce. He will fight till the end for me."

  "But he is forgetting one thing," I said and sat on top of her.

  "And what's that?"

  I leaned over and whispered in her ear. "He is forgetting that so will I."

  Aiyana found one of Heather's dresses, which used to fit her so nicely before she lost all the weight. Aiyana looked stunning in it. She was glowing and smiling when we walked to the kitchen our hands touching teasingly in secret. William and Luyu were holding hands while they ate their cereal as we entered. Luyu had insisted on having the exact same breakfast as William. They hardly noticed us as we poured our coffees and drank.

  "Ready for a new day at school?" I asked.

  They both nodded.

  "I was thinking that maybe I should enroll Luyu in William's school," Aiyana said. "We can do it today. I don't want Michael to be able to find her."

  I nodded and sipped my coffee. The morning paper still spoke about the escaped jaguar on the loose. But it was no longer front news. Hunters were flocking to the area and especially the swamps where everybody assumed the jaguar was hiding. Experts were discussing just how many jaguars could be out there. If the rogue one that had been held captive in a cage and attacked its owner, was it in fact the same one from seen ten years ago when it attacked a young boy in the river? And then there were stories about a black one that had been seen roaming the streets of St. Augustine acting aggressive towards tourists. They were wondering if there were in fact more, and guessing that there could be several and they advised tourists visiting the swamps to be careful and take precautions. Should anyone encounter one of these beasts they advised them to take cover or shoot it immediately if possible.

  I turned and smiled at Aiyana. "We'll take care of it right away," I said and closed the paper so they didn't see the article. I didn't want her or the kids worrying. Nor did I want them to see the reward of thirty-five thousand dollars for someone who shoots a jaguar.

  William and Luyu were both laughing and chatting all the way out of the front door. I pulled William aside as soon as Luyu was in the car. He looked at me with surprise.

  I kneeled in front of him and looked into his young eyes. "What happened yesterday is our secret, you know that don't you? You can never tell anyone about what you saw."

  William smiled widely. "You mean you being a black jaguar?"

  "Yes."

  "Okay," he said like it was the most natural thing in the world.

  "But the two of us can talk about it if you'd like. You can ask me anything you want to about it, alright?"

  "Sure. Is Luyu's mom one too? She says that she is. But she is not black like you, far. She is spotted. That's what Luyu says."

  I nodded. "She is right. We both are jaguars. But only at nighttime. We transform at sunset and then we go hunting."

  "Cool."

  "But there are many people who want to hurt us because they think we're dangerous. They don't know that it's really just us and that we would never harm them. That's why you have to keep it a secret. You can't tell any of your friends or your teacher. You can't discuss it with Luyu at school. You may talk about it at home and with Sarah as well, but never at school. That is very important. Can you do that for me?"

  He nodded eagerly. "Sure."

  I smiled and messed up his blond curly hair with my hand. "Now get in the car before we’re late."

  But William didn't get in
the car. Instead he threw his arms around my throat. I hugged him back sensing that something urgent had come over him. He paused. He wanted to say something but had to find the courage. Then he asked: "Do you think you could save Mommy the way you saved Luyu?" He whispered in my ear. "I don't want her to die."

  My heart felt heavy. I sighed. I was surprised that he knew that Heather's illness was fatal. "William. With Mommy it is very different. It's much more complicated. It's nothing like Luyu. I can't just go out and find her and bring her home. Mommy is very sick, remember?"

  "Will she die?" His voice cracked as he spoke the words.

  I swallowed hard to not cry. "I don't know, buddy. But it is serious and it's a disease that people die from."

  "But you're a hero, far. You save people. I saw it last night. There must be something you can do to make her feel better? You're a doctor too, remember? You can get her well. I need to see her, Far. She doesn't even know how big I’ve gotten." William's voice was shrill.

  I exhaled deeply. "Let's talk about it later," I said. "We need to go now."

  William let go and jumped in the car. Boyz II Men were singing In the Still of the Night on the radio as we drove off.

  Chapter 39

  The next morning I drove off to the clinic. The day before had been quite eventful for Aiyana so she needed to rest. Her entire family was due to arrive at our house later that same day to be with her and bring her herbs and happiness to help strengthen her. We had spent some time the day before in their house eating, talking, even crying - before we went on to singing and dancing. It had only lasted a couple of hours though until Aiyana had been too worn out and I helped her get back to the house. Wyanet had been so thrilled to finally be able to spend time with her granddaughter; she kept thanking me for bringing her family back together. But happiest of all had been Halona. She had been so excited that there wasn't a chair in the house to sit on since they were spinning under the roof along with books and flowers. It was quite a spectacular view. William fit in perfectly and to my great surprise even picked up a guitar at one point and started playing it.

  It was a joy to have all of them in my life again and I was whistling in the car by the very thought of having the house filled with these wonderful spiritual people - as I drove past Flagler Hospital.

  Completely on a whim I decided to get off US1 and drove right into the parking lot belonging to the hospital. I sat for a few moments in the car staring at the giant white building in front of me. Then I got out.

  Without hesitation or even thinking I walked to the reception area and asked for him, where he was - on what floor, in what room. Admittedly I used my status as doctor so the receptionist wouldn't ask any questions. Then I walked into the elevator and pushed the button leading me to his floor.

  He was sitting in his bed eating breakfast when I entered his room. Tasteless scrambled eggs and toast. He froze when he saw me. Then he dropped his fork. Bits of scrambled egg stayed in his beard stubble. The mere sight of him made my body shiver. I had to restrain myself.

  "What the hell ...?" he exclaimed. He still had several bruises in his face from Aiyana's attack. His arm was bandaged. I could tell it hurt when he moved.

  "I'll call security," he said. "Or the police if you come near me."

  I walked closer, biting my lip in restraint. He was cowering in the bed, fear in his eyes. "Don't you dare come any closer," he yelled angrily. "Or I'll call for the nurse and she'll have you thrown out of here."

  "Do you really think she'll throw out a doctor who has come here to see you?” I scoffed. “Do you really think anyone here cares about you? You, the animal abuser, you, the wife beater, or maybe I should just tell her how you kept your own daughter locked up an a small storage room on a boat left to die without any food or drink in almost ninety degrees? Maybe both she and the police would like to hear that story?"

  Michael's expression changed drastically. He leaned back in the bed. His eyes were examining me.

  "I thought you'd like to know that I found her and she is safe with her mother now," I continued. "If you even care."

  Michael was silent. He stared at me.

  "She humiliated me," he growled. "She stayed with you all day and all night. She never came home. Thirty-six hours of pure humiliation!" Michael tried to calm himself down before he continued. "How could I ever let her go out there again? How was I supposed to let her go out again at night? Don't you think I knew what you two did? Don't you think I could smell it on her skin? I had to lock her up to prevent it from happening again. She was nothing but a lying bastard. And so are you. Cheating and lying to your families."

  "And what about Luyu? What's your excuse for putting her in that dreadful storage room on the boat?" I asked through clenched teeth.

  Michael looked at me but didn't answer.

  "Did she cry for her mother?" I asked. "Did she look too much like her for you to be able to look at her without thinking about Aiyana, about what she had done to you? Was that why Luyu needed to be punished as well?"

  Michael stared at me still in silence.

  "You know what? I don't even care," I said. "There is no excuse for what you've done. None."

  "So why are you here? Why have you come?" he asked. "You know I'd beat your sorry ass up if I wasn't hurt."

  "I am here to tell you my demands. Our demands."

  He laughed maliciously. "You have no right to come here and demand anything from me. You're the one who took everything away from me." His head turned red with fury. "You stole my wife, goddammit!"

  "She wants a divorce."

  "Never!" Michael exclaimed. "I'll never give her that. She is my wife till death parts us. She needs to realize that she has made a promise to me. We have a daughter."

  "You give Aiyana a divorce and you stay the hell away from both of them," I said ignoring his arguments. I stepped closer pointing my finger at him. I was pleased to see that he felt threatened by me. "I want to keep the police out of this for many reasons. But mainly because I don't want them to find out about us. I have promised Aiyana and her family to do everything possible to protect the secret. But if you ever come near either Aiyana or Luyu again I swear I will tell the police what you did to those poor girls. If you as much as call them or I spot you in an area near them I will take the risk of spilling the secret of the fountain to get you punished. Do you understand?"

  Michael was biting his lip with clenched jaws. I could tell how badly he wanted to jump me and give me a beating.

  "They were your family for crying out loud," I said. "They loved you. And you destroyed that. You don't deserve any better."

  "If I can't have her then no one should," he said.

  "You did have her. You had a wonderful life with her. A life I envied you every hour of the day for ten years. Now you have to live with the consequences of mistreating her, both of them. Every day you wake up alone in your house you'll be reminded of what you've done. Every hour, every day you spend in solitude you just remember what you had."

  Michael kicked the food-tray causing it to fall on the floor with a loud noise, scattering scrambled eggs and toast. "Get out!" he yelled. "Get the hell out of here!"

  I didn't move. I wasn't intimidated by him. I wanted to show him that. "I expect the divorce papers within a month or I will take action. You can send them to my clinic. You have the number. They'll give you the address."

  "Get out!" he yelled again.

  I chuckled and smiled. "That's a deal then," I said and opened the door.

  As soon as I had closed it behind me I heard the sound of the tray hitting the wall. Then Michael started screaming in a fit suited for a five-year old. Nurses started running toward his room. I greeted them with a wide smile.

  Chapter 40

  Days passed with much joy and happiness in the house. Even Sarah seemed to revel in it. Nadie helped her in the kitchen and they shared recipes and secrets and we enjoyed the fruits of it immensely at the dinner table. Luyu and William clung together
like Siamese twins and by the look on William's face I could tell that he had found his own private Paradise. Wyanet gave him guitar lessons and soon I realized that he had inherited my musical skills. Even his singing turned out to be better than mine was at his age.

  "Maybe he'll be the next Howahkan," Wyanet said while teaching him the secrets to playing the flamenco with its fast paced rhythm.

  I was truly pleased to see him thriving, only one thing seemed to be constantly bothering him and growing into a pain obvious to anyone who knew him well. The absence of his mother.

  It hurt me like crazy to watch him in this kind of agony and I started wondering what was best for him. Sarah had said it once. The not knowing was the worst part. He grew more worried about his mother every day. Even if he enjoyed the company of Luyu I could tell that he was hurting.

  I kept postponing it day after day telling myself that he was fine, that it was only natural for a boy to miss his mother, that it would be worse for him to see her if she was really sick. But deep inside I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to do something, before I had to act. I wanted desperately to postpone it. I didn't want to think about Heather in the middle of my happiness. Part of me was still angry with her for leaving us, for cheating on me and bringing this disease into our home. I didn't want to think about her and I certainly didn't want to see her, especially not since I knew that I probably had the cure for her illness running in my veins. But again that was so uncertain. I still didn't know if it was possible. I knew I might end up killing her instead. I guess I was trying to avoid having to make the decision.

  One afternoon I spoke to Aiyana in the living room and she encouraged me to find Heather and bring William to see her. "It's his right to see his mother," she said.

  "But wouldn't it make him worry even more? Plus Heather specifically told me that she didn't want to see me ever again or William. She told me to tell him that she was dead. I don't even know if she'll see him if I bring him."

  Aiyana put her hand on my arm. My skin shivered. I loved her touch. Loved every little feature of her. I adored her. Everything she did, everything she said. Even when it wasn't what I wanted to hear.